Gate - crashers, ever encountered them? So how do you deal with them?
By louievill
@louievill (28851)
Philippines
February 28, 2012 10:51am CST
I really hate writing about this but last Sunday my Mom celebrated her 80th bithday ( not a milestone)in our house. We were expecting 20 plus guests in the house plus a provision if it reaches 40 or 50 people. My younger brother gave a large roasted pig called "lechon" here and 3 cases of soft drinks (72 bottles) and my elder sister gave 12 roasted chickens and I took care of the rest including house painting.
My mom is a lady pastor in her local Christian church so she had guests invited, to make a long story short, she also invited a pastor from another church, now the problem arose when she ( the pastor from the other church) also brought her flock, needless to say they were uninvited guests so the guests reached 70 t0 80 people more than we can handle or prepared for, it was really terrible
the whole house was filled up up to the gate, even my own personal guests could not get in because the house was jam packed with people we don't even know, and there was no more room even for people who were serving. I had to withdraw my children, nephews, nieces, immediate family members and invited guests to the 2 aircon rooms where we ate cause the heat was unbearable despite 5 electric fans and 3 exhaust fans. Now, ever been in such an awkward situation? How did you deal with it?
the whole house was filled up up to the gate, even my own personal guests could not get in because the house was jam packed with people we don't even know, and there was no more room even for people who were serving. I had to withdraw my children, nephews, nieces, immediate family members and invited guests to the 2 aircon rooms where we ate cause the heat was unbearable despite 5 electric fans and 3 exhaust fans. Now, ever been in such an awkward situation? How did you deal with it?2 people like this
6 responses
@changjiangzhibin89 (16517)
• China
29 Feb 12
First of all,congratulate your Mom on her 80th birthday!So many people appeared unexpectedly and invited themselves to feast on your Mom's birthday.The number of people was as many against as you had expected,it was difficult for anybody to entertain them.But then,that was really a jubilant day.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Thank you for your well wishes
, yes it was really fun especially in the other half when all of them were gone, the dinner or evening party was reserved only for very close friends, my friends and my siblings friends, we had musicians and we had a real neat jam session, very relaxing, except for my wife who had to cook again cause all the food was almost wiped out, yeah and I had to pull out additional bills from my pocket to buy more food.
, yes it was really fun especially in the other half when all of them were gone, the dinner or evening party was reserved only for very close friends, my friends and my siblings friends, we had musicians and we had a real neat jam session, very relaxing, except for my wife who had to cook again cause all the food was almost wiped out, yeah and I had to pull out additional bills from my pocket to buy more food.@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
I will do everything to make mother happy if we could afford it and so does my brother and sister. The musicians who entertained during the evening are my friends and my Son's friend so we did not spend anything. it's all free, just food and a bottle of Spanish brandy that I shared with them. My children, nephew and nieces also showed their talents to their grandmother.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16517)
• China
1 Mar 12
Oh !you had a jam session,which added to your enjoyment of the birthday feast. You were so busy and spent lots of money on entertainment that day,however seeing that your house was full of guests,your Mum was surely very happy ,that was what you wanted most.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
1 Mar 12
Most thankfully I have not had to deal with these types of people just crashing the party completely and utterly uninvited. But even without dealing with them in any way whatsoever, I really can see how annoying they would be. There is nothing worse than uninvited guest. Never mind dozens upon dozens of uninvited guests that are going to show up at once.
Especially when many of them are of, the thing that will not leave variety. I have had that with people just stopping by in general. Then again, it has been a long time since I have had a gathering of that magnitude. It is not making me want to have one at any rate, because if word gets out, if someone spreads the word to a few people, then you'll have hoards of people descending and a much bigger mess. The hardest part is getting them to leave.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
Actually we have not hosted parties of this magnitude for a long time although we had in the past several but somehow smaller just as how we planned this one. You see here in the Philippines, you invite about 25 people you have to make provisions for 40 or 50 just to be sure and they don't come all at the same time, we manage cause the occasion would last up to the night. We are a simple and quiet family and usually celebrate in our favorite Chinese restaurant among ourselves, relatives and very close friends only. Now mom always say that if you live to 70 it's just by the grace of God
(that's her belief so we respect that) Now turning 80 we planned a bigger one, analyzing now, I think the problem stemmed from the fact that everybody came after the Sunday service, so all those who attended the service got tagged along( these were the uninvited), since mom is a well loved lady in the congregation, probably everybody wanted to come and in a way see her house, and partake OMG, we would have managed even that number, had they not come all at the same time (about lunch time), in cars and jeep loads
If there is any consolation for us, the evening affair was more pleasant.
(that's her belief so we respect that) Now turning 80 we planned a bigger one, analyzing now, I think the problem stemmed from the fact that everybody came after the Sunday service, so all those who attended the service got tagged along( these were the uninvited), since mom is a well loved lady in the congregation, probably everybody wanted to come and in a way see her house, and partake OMG, we would have managed even that number, had they not come all at the same time (about lunch time), in cars and jeep loads If there is any consolation for us, the evening affair was more pleasant.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 Feb 12
Hi Louievill,
I felt kind of angry just reading this. What a rude rude pastor to take it upon herself to bring so many uninvited guests and all but ruin your mom's 80th birthday celebration!! I don't know what I would of done. I would not want to be rude or mean but at the same time...it is very rude to attend any event without an invite. Oh wait...they were invited. Looks like the pastor who brought all the extras is to blame. I would never invite this pastor to another event and I'd warn all my friends about her. I can't imagine bringing anyone extra to any kind of gathering without asking the hostess first and that goes for family as well.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Yeah she brought all the "moochers", but to be fair I think she heads the outreach that mom and I supports but it's only her we invited. I don't think there will be a "next time" , I would consider another such occasion when mom turns 90
, but to be fair I think she heads the outreach that mom and I supports but it's only her we invited. I don't think there will be a "next time" , I would consider another such occasion when mom turns 90
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Feb 12
I am sorry to hear about all the uninvited guests flocking in and making it hard to handle. I can unerstand the need / want to share such a happy occassion, and the pastor I am sure did not mean any ill by it, but maybe asking if such a capacity would be bearable would have been nice.
I think I'd have flocked out of there and ran for the nearest quiet place myself! That many people here would be crazy. It's a five bedroom three bath house, but even so that would be crazy!
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Honestly SCG, I felt that the pastor never really meant it that way, it's a case of a situation gone wrong or bad. I would have gone myself if I was in the situation, that's why we retreated to our rooms to decongest, it's just that they kept on pushing, pushing towards the food, they can't even control their children they brought along who were tampering with our computers and other things in the house.It's like a scene from "Big Brian the Fortune Seller" in Tru channel ( if you watch that program) No problem if I had provisions, I would had gladly shared everything to everyone but at least they should have been more considerate and sensitive.
No problem if I had provisions, I would had gladly shared everything to everyone but at least they should have been more considerate and sensitive.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
29 Feb 12
Thank God I've never experienced that scenario. Because at times in my case it is okay for me to have gate crashers because some of my invited guests didn't come so the uninvited guests can be sometimes an advantage for me but not the worst as you had experienced.
I think at this point the better solution here is to have invitation thought that will be another cost. But then it can be social networking site can do like facebook. But again it depends there are some people who will bring the whole Baranggay.
Now I am sensitive to that as well especially to the occasion of other people. Just like on Sunday I will be bringing my niece and nephew to the children's party and their nanny is included in the list. Since their parents won't be available on Sunday so I will be the one with them. I asked my sister in law right away if how many guest that they are expecting from us and she told me that 2 adults and 2 kids so only 4. That is why I didn't bother to ask my boyfriend to come with me on Sunday because that is gonna be awkward if we are going to be 5, for a fact that I am not close to the parents of the celebrant.
There are really people who are insensitive regarding the number of guests that they thought if you are going to bring other people that is going to be alright to the celebrants. It was like they thought you can feed the whole town as very easy thing to do.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
yes the scenario is very applicable in a jolibee or Mc Donald style children's party and I would praise you for your sensitivity, yes if there are invitations especially with an RSVP, it's so different when it's a Filipino fiesta style kind of affair where everything goes.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Oh no sorry for what has happened. It could have been happier if you all know who those people are. But since one guest just brought them with him, I would feel really terrible. I wonder if the other guest still have food to eat when the guest suddenly becomes 70 to 80 people.
So far, I have never been in such situation. I don;t even know how to handle it if it happens. I would probably order some more food and don't know maybe I would let them stand out and see how they will find it comfortable to eat without any tables or chairs.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
Actually the food would still be sufficient because it was a large roasted pig and could feed a lot of people, the issue was more on the place being so crowded, the heat was so terrible too that it melted the icing of the cake so we had to move it to an aircon room as well. We were suppose to pray for mom, the house, and our business but our Pastor just told us that we do it another time cause the place lacks solemnity and all of us family started laughing..some of the people who came just sat outside the house, there was little room to move even for our people who would put mor food on the table!
and all of us family started laughing..some of the people who came just sat outside the house, there was little room to move even for our people who would put mor food on the table!