Looking for another guy to make friend, it is cheat?

Indonesia
February 29, 2012 10:05pm CST
hi there.. I need your opinion.. I often have trouble problems with my partner. Because so my problems I had.. I can't control my feeling.., one day I met a guy in social networking.. the first time we only share about online business, and we are being best friend, when I getting problem with my partner, I often tell him to ask his opinion, and he always give me a good respect to solve my problem, I never told my partner about our relationship, did you think I'm cheat?
2 people like this
14 responses
• United States
1 Mar 12
I don't think you are cheating, but I do think that you should tell your partner about your new friend if you are becoming close with the friend. If you keep it from him, and he has to find out another way, it will look like you were trying to hide it. You're not a cheat though if you don't have any plans of starting anything new with the friend. However, I think you should tell your partner about your new friend. Best wishes to you.
• Indonesia
2 Mar 12
actually I'm not really hide this friend to him,I Just let him to open my cellphone, if he read my message this mean he has know about our relationship, but if he don't care or ask something about that, I also will not say anything.
@Mashnn (4503)
1 Mar 12
I would not say you are cheating just by chatting and provided you do not get physical or emotional attached to that person. I think you are just looking for affectionate since your partner seems not to care about you or does not treat you right. It is part of human nature to look out for friends to share with your problems when you are in such a situation.
• Indonesia
2 Mar 12
I'm happy to have a friend like him, he help me in many things.. I also think we only best friend.. I think you're right it is the part of human nature
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
20 Mar 12
i think its not cheating but he just feel that your cheating because you did not tell to him that you are having communi ation in someone that you met in a internet or other social networking site. i think you must tell to him what are you doing in social networking site and its just a business thats why you are communication in that man. telling to your partnee what you are doing is not like losing your privacy its just showing to him your honestly.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
2 Mar 12
First of all, partner isn't a spouse. Are you married? If you are not married, it isn't cheating. Cheating implies that you have dedicated your life to this other person, and he has dedicated his life to you. This is what marriage is. "Saying" is not marriage. Marriage is not just words, it's also action. You don't just say "I love you"... you also take the action that means "I love you". So, first thing, are you married? If you are not married, you are not married. You either are, or are not. "Partner" = "nothing". If you are NOT married, then you can't cheat on him. And he can't cheat on you. You are either married, or you are not. He can run off with any girl at any time, and he's not cheating on you. No ring on the finger. No wedding ritual. You are not married. And you can run off with another guy. You are not cheating. You are not married. Now... if you ARE married... If you are in fact married, and not just a "partner", then you need to ask yourself: If he was talking to someone other than you, about the things you are talking with this person about, would you be upset? Would it bother you, if he was doing this with someone else? If it would bother you, you need to stop... NOW. If it would not bother you, then you need to ask another question: Would it bother him if you were doing this? If the answer is no, then you are good. If the answer is yes, it would bother him, then you have one last question: Do you care about him enough to stop doing something that would hurt him? If yes... then you need to stop... NOW. If no... Then you need to consider getting help. You don't care about the person you are with, and that is bad. So get some help. Best to you. Bye.
@Metatronik (5923)
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Mar 12
There is really nothing wrong to make friends with another guy and that is not consider as cheating. That could be only cheating if you are already having an affair with a guy. If your partner is some kinda jealous and narrow minded who doesn't understand that making friends to other guys is not wrong then there must be a problem with him. But then if you are a kind of woman who doesn't value the love of your partner, making him jealous and not being honest with him then there is something wrong with you. You are not really cheating but then I don't think it is a good idea that you are telling your partner about your relationship as bestfriend because it would make him being suspicious already. Aside from that if you have problems in relationship then in the first place you should settle it with him and handle it. As much as possible you must have sense of privacy that your issue between your partner must be discreet and the only person who will know this is just you and your partner. Again try your very best to settle it just with him. Then if you can't do so why still having relationship with your partner? Why don't you have the second thoughts of living him and be more friendly to your male best friend? Trust is very important in relationship not just love. Because if you didn't establish that kind of attitude then again expect the worst case scenario.
• Canada
1 Mar 12
I don't think having an online firend or discussing and sharing your problems with him is considered cheating. However, if you consider this online friend more than just a friend or have other feelings for him then it would be cheating. Also, I think that if you truly love osmeone then you should hide things from them so if you love your bf then you should not hide about your online friend. You should tell you bf about him and if he loves and trusts you then he will understand that we all need a friend to tlak to ...
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 Mar 12
Hi my dear, you're not cheating but if you continue to communicate with your newly found friend, it can lead to cheating. I know how we women do, we get emotionally attached to our male friends especially when we're having problems with our partners. Truth be told I think you're asking the question because you're possibly already getting attached to your new friend and you're feeling that you shouldn't or else you wouldn't have willingly not tell your partner about your new friend. Furthermore never,ever,ever discuss with another man the problems you're having with you're partner, you're leaving a door open for him to make his move on you, and that can result in you cheating. If you're having problems with your partner, the only person you should be discussing with is your partner, so that the two of you can work on it together. You don't need a thrid party like you're friend, who you don't even know to well I might add. So my dear, plain talk and bad manners: You are not cheating but if you keep having this secretive friendship with your friend, it could very well lead to cheating.
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
1 Mar 12
Right now it may not seem like cheating. But when you develop a close emotional relationship with someone then it becomes cheating. After all that is how we develop relationships in the first place. We talk with it and get to know the person. I know it may be difficult especially since you are having difficulties with your partner. But i wouldn't go down that road if I were you especially if you value your current relationship. Because this can lead to hurt feelings for everyone. I hope that whatever you decide that it is best for everyone involved.
• United Arab Emirates
1 Mar 12
I dont think its a cheating. That guy is just a good friend of yours and you are asking him some advice, just like we do with our siblings/family members/friends...whoever.. So no question of cheating here..
• United States
1 Mar 12
What kind of commitment do you have with your partner? Do you think you are cheating? If you justify a relationship with another guy because you're having problems with your partner you might be cheating. If you have a secret friend that you don't tell your partner about you might be cheating. If you momentarily step into your partners'shoes how would you feel if he had a social networking friend?
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
1 Mar 12
In my opinion that not cheating (not yet) but you are going to kind of relationship. When we build love relationship with someone; every time we had trouble in our relationship, we must talk about it to our partner. When we start talk about our love relationship to other person (opposite gender of yours) that you think you can trust (not your relative/family), like it or not, sooner or later you had feeling for him/her. If every time you ask ask for advice and he/she give you very good solution for it, sooner or later you become depend on him/her. At same time you also loose your trust to your partner. Be careful with kind of relationship. If you still in love with your current partner, you should build barrier for it
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
I don't think it is considered cheating. You only shares your problem and need someone to talk too. It's just friendship and company that you are looking for and you've found someone who is willing to listen and share some piece of advice as well.
• Italy
1 Mar 12
Having a friend is not cheating, talking about problems with someone is not cheating, telling private things is not cheating but not nice, talking bad about him is not cheating but not nice. So nope, no chance you are cheating him, unless you're going to meet him and get into kissing And s...Salmon! Yeah. Little suggestion, always be sincere with your partner, hiding things is BAAAAD!
@mauve02 (133)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
hi reinykwan! I think as long as you only treat him as a friend and no other feeling that is beyond friendship then I believe you are not cheating on your boyfriend. It is normal to have a friend whom you can open up your problems and it is good that your friend can able to help you solve your problem. But I would advice that you should also tell to your boyfriend about your online friend. I think your boyfriend will understand if he really trust you he will never get jealous to your online friend. It is not good if you are hiding on something to your partner. I believe that a good relationship is where both person is helping each other to be a better person and also there is trust, and communication.