My lot in life right now.

United States
March 1, 2012 5:42am CST
I've not been doing so good. Close on 4 months ago my adult son and I moved back to a small city I hate; I grew to be very sick of this town throughout the over 31 years I had to live here. My older sister wanted me to move closer to our family that lives in a town about 60 miles away. But then she didn't treat me kindly after I got back. When I talked with her on the phone she was snotty at me. I counted on me and my son spending Christmas with her and the family but unlike Thanksgiving she was not willing to come and pick us up. Since I got here both my son and I realized the big mistake we made; we've hated it from day one. We are on a housing assistance program that requires us to stay here 1 year unless the landlord lets us out of the lease. My son and I have been very depressed, unhappy and bored here. I thought if I got to see my family it would be worth it living here but then my sister and a brother who lives in central IL both did me dirty so I've not seen or heard from any of them since a week before Christmas when I called her to ask her about us coming for Christmas. My son and I ended up spending Christmas alone with no money, no presents and no good food. I've been unable to get to sleep tonight. My son and I live in an old dumpy filthy trailer. The landlord had my son bring this old davenport in the trailer and it stank bad of something not to mention I think it had a mouse in it since now we have a mouse in this mobile home. And last night my son saw the mouse on the kitchen counter. Talk about gross. It upset me so I couldn't get to sleep. I feel like it will be along time before my situation ever improves. We want to move but that will be hard since I've already messed up somewhat with this landlord and my landlord before that. I can't improve my financial situation. I feel so lost; I feel like there's no light under the tunnel. Sometimes I feel suicidal although I'd never hurt myself. I don't know what to do.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
1 Mar 12
Try to find a support group. Do something tht you enjoy doing that makes you feel good but doesn't cost a lot of money. Try finding a snailmail pen pal. I know for me that helps. It's nice to be able to get a letter in the mail from a friend. And it's also relieving to be able to talk to others about what you are going through. Another great thing that you should do even though I know it may seem impossible at this time is to set aside money for savings. When a person has a savings they are less stressed and are more able to relax and not be overly worried about if something comes up. Even if it's only a dollar a week, or spare change at the end of the month. Get books at your local library that talks about savings to motivate you. Hang in there and I hope that soon things will look up for you.
• United States
2 Mar 12
Never in my entire life have I been able to save money. I guess I'd rather spend what little extra money I do have just to have a little happy of an experience. I know you are right to save money would be a good thing. The funny thing it that same notion had crossed my mind the other day. My son and I barely make it through the month; there's just not much money to work with. And my regular money was cut $200 last month and $100 this month. Next month it should go back to normal. I like your pen pal idea. It would be great to have a pen pal that one might actually be able to meet in person one day. I'll try to remember to look into that. I'll try to take up your advice on saving money to if possible. Thank you friend for your helpful advice.
• United States
2 Mar 12
Thanks for the support group suggestion. I've tried to look up support groups for this small city; there's few. I still will try to find one.
• United States
6 Mar 12
You are welcome. Trust me when you have savings you feel a lot better. It gives you a sense of peace. Even when it's only a little. You are able to feel like you are prepared if something happens. And after you have some money saved you are even in a better position to buy perhaps something small for yourself if you like. Instead of using your income money. So it works out best all the way around. Because when we use our income money to buy ourselves something and we have no savings it kind of makes a hardship. Because we know we really don't have the money to be spending. Yeah look into penpals. It is a great thing to do. It gives us more friendships and we are happier about our life and we have someone to share our life experiences with.
@Metatronik (5911)
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Mar 12
How come your sister won't be considerate enough to let you in inside her house? I feel bad for you but as what the other people posted that you must find the support groups. I think that is the only best way you can do. Don't you have other relatives to ask help?
• United States
2 Mar 12
Hi, Thank you for your considerate words; thank you for caring. A big reason I moved back here from a small town in VA was my big (older) sister suggested for me to. I thought she wanted to see me. She drove here twice in a week to visit me and my son. Then a couple weeks later she drives back here to pick us up to go there for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving went pretty smoothly except both me and my son burnt our fingers on her hot water. I failed to warn my son not to mention anything but he complained (or rather whined) a little about it. Instead of apologizing she gets upset over it. When I called her to ask her about Christmas about 6 days prior to the holiday she instead of welcoming us to Christmas and offering to come get us she can only nastily gripe about the incident that happened with the scalding hot water. She has not wanted me or my son's (even when they were little) to be there for Christmas on quite a number of occasions. She mentioned nothing about us coming for Christmas for the past 6 years (even Christmases in years before this). You'd think after not seeing me for close on 4 years (during which my son and I'd lived in 2 other states) she'd invite and welcome us for Christmas. The reason why well I can only draw some conclusions but I don't know exactly what her problem is and I've a feeling she's got some personal issues (problems within her own self). There is no good reason she has to hold anything against me. When my son's were still growing up I wondered why she didn't always want us there for Christmas. I remember her saying something like "Christmas should be intimate" and "My kids might get jealous of her kids getting more or better presents". She didn't seem to consider that just being together with the family would be good enough. Her daughter hasn't spoken or had a conversation with me (nor tried to) since she was about 11 (21 years ago). Her daughter did not even say "hi" to me at Thanksgiving. She sort of spoke to my adult son; she says his name, not hi but just his name. I also have a brother who I've tried to correspond with via Facebook. I tried to talk with him about these family problems in hopes he might help things but instead he only caused trouble and told them every word confidential word I said. I tried twice to talk with him via Facebook and each phrase it ended in a bad argument and the last time was the worse. He actually told me he will not consider me his sister again and for very little reason to and for no good reason. They hold some kind of a grudge against me that goes way back to our childhood. I know he does for sure but I guess she does also. After I got back every time I talked with her over the phone she got nasty with me. And I was being nice. I am a nice person. I try to be a good person. I'm a warm and a friendly type person. They just don't like me.