He beats her because she is fat

By C
@ShyBear88 (18523)
United States
March 1, 2012 12:29pm CST
So yesterday I was watching tv and this caught my attention. This man beats his girl friend the mother of his 1 year old son because she is fat and want do as he asks of her. He feels women need to be bossed around and told what to do because other wise they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Her being fat disgust him and a women shouldn't be small. I was like what the hell is wrong with you men. She had a baby a year ago and some women have a hard time especially if they are the only one taking care of that child working out can be hard to fine. Yeah she was on the big size but he shouldn't be hitting her or anything. If he doesn't like the way she looks he doesn't have to be with her and he doesn't need to try to control him. The women wants nothing to do with him after a year of him not spending any time with his son. She finally got the courage to take control and walk out on the guy for her child.
7 people like this
19 responses
@crystal11 (158)
• Malaysia
2 Mar 12
In my opinion, there is no reason whatsoever for emotional or physical abuse! A person who physically abuses another, man or woman, is similar to an animal! The mother is very brave and made the right decision in leaving her husband. It will be difficult for her, being a single parent, but she is better off without him.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I never said above that they where married. I said he was her boyfriend much different then husband. He never was around the baby so there for she was a single parent after her son was born its just that she let him keep coming around and hurting her. Animals have more respect for each other. I would say that animal are similar because not even animals partners hurt each other a lot of animals mate for life.
• Malaysia
3 Mar 12
Sori, I misunderstood. I assumed that they were living together. If they were then they are similar to husband and wife with the exception that he is not responsible for the mother and the child, legally. I am from the old school, where marriage is a union between 2 people who have decided to spend their lives together and share responsibility.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Just because two people live together that doesn't make you husband and wife at all there is no legal anything binding them together at all. If one moves out they don't split things 50/50. When married you have to be law everything that you have is the other person when not married nothing of there is yours. Having a child together doesn't give you rights to the other person positions either. When you live together for so many years then by law you are married. They where not married but yes they did live together and yes they do have a child together. The only thing the guy has is the right to take care of his child. He doesn't have to take care of the mother at all he doesn't even have to respect her or like or even have to live with her if he or she doesn't want to be under the same roof. She can actually ask him if she wants to for money for her child but that is it other then maybe asking for him to sign his rights way to his child. I'm sure now they will not ever get married to each other I wouldn't want her to marry a guy like that at all. Not one that doesn't like her for her. Having a child together doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life with them or that you are going to get married one day. Marriage is a union between to people that legal want to get married and be together. Other wise then that two people living and having a relationship isn't marriage they are a couple dating each other or engaged.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
2 Mar 12
Hi Shybear, I'm glad she got the courage to leave him. My thoughts while reading this were "Why is she still there?" The guy stays because he is in control and it gives him a sense of being superior but I always wonder why womenn put up with this stuff. Usually it is fear of the unknown and that they feel they can't support a child on their own.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
Reason why all depends on the person. Some times its fear, the fact that they do have kids with this person. Some times its money that keeps them if they aren't working and being supported by the abuser for some women its the mental hold the guy has. A lot of abuser will say I"m sorry I"ll never do it again and that gets people all of the time and that is what keeps a lot of women in a relationship with this type of person. Certain they hunt and look for a women they they know will most likely never go away no matter what they do because that women to him is weaker then himself and won't really fight back.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
3 Mar 12
Yes, I kind of figured it was something like that. I left an abusive marriage but I had stayed in it too long before leaving and looking back I couldn't self-analyze just why I stayed as long as I did.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
5 Mar 12
I think once a person is in an abusive relationship its hard to see why you stay and why that person wants to hurt you so much. Love shouldn't have to be that way for some women I guess its just harder for them to figure out how to leave or what to do. But once out I think they are a lot happier with themselves and what they are now doing for themselves and there family.
• United States
2 Mar 12
It was a good episode. what I like is the little guy was ready to try to fight Steve. Some of these guys Say they are ready to fight but don't do a thing, this guy was Ready! I'm glad the woman is getting out of the relationship!
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm sure Steve and his guys would have walked all over the guy especially after her called cops pigs they where not happy then.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 12
Agreed.He wouldn't win the fight but he would have fought! Some of these cowards would just run away.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Some of them yes they would just run away.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
1 Mar 12
You really think he beats her because she is fat? Men like that always find an excuse to beat up their wife. If she wouldn't be fat he would call her lazy, not interested in him, not caring enough, not rich enough, ugly or whatever. These kind of man are abusive, love to dominate and most of all: love to humilate and beat up their wifes. Why? Because it makes the feel stronger.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
1 Mar 12
Yes because that is what he said out loud in front of thousands of people he beats his girlfriend because she is too fat he feels. Well this isn't his wife its his girlfriend. Its not just wives its girlfriends as well. Men that are like this will hit man or women some times of all different ages and stuff. There is always a reason for why someone does what they do when there an abuser they will find something to get upset about and use to hurt you. Most of the time they find people that are weaker then themselves to pick on because they are to them and easy reachable goal and they wouldn't dear to much to go for someone that would just completely stop the second something wrong. It takes some just as stronger after being abused to finally say enough is a enough.
• United States
2 Mar 12
You're right, if it wasn't because she's fat, it would be something else. It's awful! I think most of the time when men beat up on their spouse or girlfriend, it's not because the spouse or girlfriend is fat or lazy or whatever, it's because the guy has insecurities and needs to have control over her. That's just my opinion. My older sister's first husband was abusive to her. She was always a very strong, confident person. But he was able to wear down her self confidence. When we had picnics in the summer, she would be wearing long sleeves. They lived on a farm and she did all the chores plus made the meals and took care of their children. She finally left him after 5 yrs and 2 children. She was 17 when she married him and I was 12 yrs old. When I got older, it made me mad when people talked about women who stay in abusive relationships as though they were weak. They would say that they wouldn't of stayed in the marriage that long, and that they would have hit the guy back. I told these people that actually, the women are strong, that's why they can endure it, they had children and were trying to make it work. The abuser would lie and tell them that he wouldn't do it anymore. If they didn't have kids, my sister would have left him early in the marriage. I also told people "Until you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea what you would do."
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Mar 12
When you love someone and especially when you have a child with someone, I think that you need to understand that you love the person through everything. Those changes could be emotional changes or they could be physical changes, but people need to understand that over time, every person does go through changes. That said, beating a woman because her physical appearance isn't what he wants to see is the wrong thing to do. He is not only hurting the girlfriend, he is also hurting his child as well. The much more humane choice to make would be to just end the relationship.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
8 Mar 12
I agree there is other ways he could have just left or tried a nice way of saying hey maybe you could work out or find time for your body to get healthy again or try to eat healthy. If you do I will or help her out so she can go and work out if she wants too. If bothers him that much just moving on to someone else would have been better.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
3 Mar 12
i really can't understand why someone can hurt a helpless person like a man beating a woman. i don't know what satisfaction they will have after doing such. to think that the reason is so petty. maybe he is into something that affects his way of thinking. as for the woman, she should really leave the man because we can never tell what he can do and he might hurt their child too.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
5 Mar 12
Women are not helpless women are just as strong as men and some times women hit and beat up on men. There satisfaction is making themselves feel better like any time any body picks on someone or bullies that is the same feeling that they get to make themselves feel better and to make someone feel smaller and scared of them. Like I said above she did leave she walked way that is what leaving is. She got the courage and took her son and went her way and had him go his way. There is nothing wrong with his thinking and there is something wrong with his thinking. It could be the way he was raised or how he was taught to treat women. There are people still out there that are stick way back when where a women is nothing and a men is everything.
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
2 Mar 12
It is sad to hear of this. I am sure it goes on more then we know, however. I don't believe it's right for him to do that and I am very glad she did walk out. She may have other conditions that cause her not to be able to lose the weight like she wishes she could. I think that one should not make fun of another for the way they are. Of course, even I do this myself, not of another's weight so much though.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
There can be many reason why someone can't lose weight. Medications some times, eating habits, some times its your own body, if your taking care of kid on your own and your working all of the time you might not have time to work out. Some people are just happy with the way they look. He should be there helping her support there child but instead he wants to hurt the mother of his child by hitting her and by telling her he is doing this because she fat or big. I roll my eyes at the way he thinks. He's never been pregnant some of that baby fat never goes away ever period no matter what you do.
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
2 Mar 12
I am a man but I hate this kind of a man who beat his wife like that. In my country if a woman is badly treated, she can go to the police to report this. We have legal regulation regarding this. Men who treat their wives badly will go to jail.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
Pretty much every where in the world if any body hits someone you can press charges. She lives in the US so she knew she could have gone to the police and filled and order of protection as well as charges for hitting hurt. Weather you married to a person or not that kind of behavior is wrong period. If a women doesn't go or even any other person doesn't go the police can't and won't do anything unless your killed. Normally here if someone hits someone you will go to jail for a night if charges are brought up if not then nothing happens to that person.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Mar 12
You said in the second line "man beats his girlfriend", a real man would not put his hands on a woman. I agree with you that if he does not like her size he should not be with her. Theres never a reason to beat her! I am glad she finally got the courage to walk away. No one deserves to be treated that way...
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I said man opps I mean hi beat his girlfriend. Yes a real man would never hit a women at all period not even another man should hit a man. If someone man or women is uncomfortable with how there partner looks then they should just walk away or address it in a nice way to where you just want them to be healthy and happy. A good partner would do that in a supportive way.
• Ireland
2 Mar 12
Hi ShyBBear88, That guy you speak of and any persons who think like him should crawl back into the cave from whence they came. That kind of attitude stinks and the woman did the right thing in leaving him. No-one deserves to be treated like that. He is nothing but a bully. IrishGal77 :)
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I agree he is a bully and she did do the right thing by moving and making sure that her child know that isn't how you treat people. It took her a year to completely cut him off but she felt safe with other people being there backing her up and she did it. I hope now she has a better life not only for her but for her son.
2 Mar 12
this idiot is a coward and a bully, no question about it, he prolly beats her because he is a lout and lacks confidence in himself, being fat is no reason for a man to beat her, he's weak and needs to take a good look at himself before he judges others, she has given him a beautiful gift, his child, i am so glad she left this loser, he's a weak coward, any man who hits a woman is a coward and any woman who hits a man is a coward, outright, people like that make me sick and i have no respect for them at all.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I agree no abuser should have respect what they do is wrong no matter what the reasons they feel for doing what they are doing they are never good enough reasons. I can agree to a certain thing that they are cowards for some of them its what they have seen all there life so to them do things like that is normal part of life and for other is coward and they feel they have to hurt others to make themselves feel better.
@dazzledlady (1619)
• Philippines
2 Mar 12
Beating somebody because he/she is fat is absolutely strange. I will advise the beater to seek psychiatric evaluation. To beat somebody you must have the pure rage, anger towards that person and being fat is not the reason. People may laugh or scrutinize person with obesity but never through physical contact.
@uggonen (77)
• Finland
2 Mar 12
"I was like what the hell is wrong with you men." You really should not talk about all men this way. There are many more men who behave well and preciate their girlfriends/wifes and could never do anything like that than there are those who behave this way and beat their partners. I have heard similar stories like this before and they really are shocking! No-one should do anything like this to their loved ones. Instead if they really really feel that their partners gaining weight and I am not talking about few kilos but I mean alot of it and think something should be done they should positively encourage them to exersize. If they would for example go for a walk together for few times a week they would both get some exersize and also some really fun and nice time together.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm sorry I didn't mean like that with you men. Like I said above to someone else that brought to me attention. I didn't mean it like that I meant was this man or this time of man. My mommy brain is on most of the time so I don't always look back on what I have said and how I've said it. That is my bad. As I've heard you never touch anyone in any way that you wouldn't to be touched in. If you truly love someone you respect them you try not to hurt them in any way shape or form especially physically hurting them. I agree if someone is wanting to lose the weight you should encourage them and support them in a positive light and not in a negative light. Its hard for women after having a baby or two to lose all of the weight when you have a newborn that baby is more important then your body imagine. Some women it comes right off with out trying and other women have to find time when they can to lose the weight. Some women are comfortable with the way they look and there partner should be okay with that and if they are not then I say they should go.
@Metatronik (5923)
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Mar 12
I can't see the point why that man has to beat. Is that in front of television? Shame for him. Then he should be a good mentor wherein he must support the mother of a child. It is already understood when a woman became pregnant even if some of them has been totally slim before then it will come to a point that they will become big. But it depends of course this is not applicable to all women.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
There isn't a reason at all but he thinks that a women being fat is a good enough reason to hit his girlfriend as well as the fact that to him women need to be controlled and one way to do that is by hitting them. It is a shame of him for treating human being like that as if they are an animal even a poor animal needs to be treated with more respect then that. Of course when a women gets pregnant she will most likely gain weight some where on her body. I've been pregnant and I had a stomach I wasn't big but you could tell I was going to have a baby at some time. I'm pregnant again and I'm already what they call showing. Some women they lose the weight like nothing and they don't have to do much and other women they have to do some work. It can be hard to lose that weight some time with each pregnancy your not going to lose all of the baby weight its always going to stay with you and the only way to get ride of it is through surgery. Hitting a person because they are fat or big isn't right at all.
@kristiane (112)
• Philippines
2 Mar 12
There are really some guys who treat their woman meanly not realizing all the love that their woman have for them. In my country we have a law to protect women and children from violence and abuse and give punishment to the person who abused them.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm sure almost every where in the world they have that. In the US if anyone commits to an act of abuse there is some kind of punishment depending on what type of abuse is being. Even a punch is abuse, pushing, spitting, cursing is all abuse in the US. Not only are women protected and children but men as well. A lot of people assume that men are never hurt because they tend to be more the aggressor then women are but some times the women are the bad guys too. In this case it was the guy being the abuser. Most likely he'll be arrested and serve a night or two in jail.
• China
2 Mar 12
Women are stressful nowdays. We have to take the load of taking care of family and working outside. Balance between them is very difficult to achieve. Reasons for damestic violence are various. The man in this case is disgusting.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
2 Mar 12
Yes every case of abuses tends to be different but there are ones that are the same just with different people. Not all women have jobs and work some are still stay at home moms like myself. A lot of abusive relationships normally ends where the person that is being abused stays home but its still not uncommon to have someone that is being abused working for a living but that normally means that the person doing the abuse isn't working then if the person they are hurting is working.
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
This is terribly wrong and that guy should be jailed. He has no right to beat her girlfriend just because of her being fat. If girls had this same treatment, they should leave without second thoughts. Guys of this kind is not worthy to be a partner.
@Masihi (4227)
• Canada
1 Mar 12
That's disgusting!!! I don't understand it! I'm heavy as well, but it's just my natural deposition, everyone in my biological family is fat, actually most of them were obese. Every woman gain weight when they have children. Some men need to grow up and learn to love our cuddly bodies. Yes, I wish I was skinnier, and yes I'm endeavouring to eat healtheir and exercise, but what if we just can't get past that plateau of not losing any more weight? Hubby's like that a bit, he wishes I was skinnier but he doesn't hit me or anything like that.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
1 Mar 12
He isn't her husband just her boy friend and father of her son. A good partner would have seen that yes all women get have a little baby weight and some times more after having a baby. Its not easy for all women to just magically lose the weight. Yeah it was easy for me but that isn't always for everyone. Yes some people are just naturally big as I like to say. Nothing wrong with a big person. Some try and try and don't get any results it just all depends on many many factor. Yes a men should just love his women no matter what her size is. A women no matter what her size is should be respected
• United States
1 Mar 12
I am sickened by this type of occurrence every time I hear it. I am sure you didn't mean it as it sounded, but I do take offense to your usage of the "you men" term because it seems like you are using it as a blanket statement that applies to every male on the planet. That said, I can not believe that a guy can do that type of stuff to a woman he claims he loves. It is disgusting and makes me want to beat him like he beat her. He should be thrown into a pit of piranhas.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
1 Mar 12
I'm sorry I didn't me to offend you or to mean in that way as in like all men. I should have choice a differed work. I meant was this type of man, not all men I know for a fact are not like this one guy. I was trying to say this kind of guy feels that his girlfriend is too big, and should be control like an animal is his thinking process. That kind of guy I don't really like at all because the fact that they are an abuser and taking some kind of control a way from a women or even another men, and not being a supportive partner. What he did was out of the question wrong as a men, an adult, as a father and as a partner to this women. I'm am glad and grateful that the his girlfriend the mother of his son choice to walk from him and not say any longer in that type of relationship. Everyone deserves a loving caring partner that will support them. For me it was easy and quick to lose the baby weight after having my first but for some women its a lot harder and he should have been more supportive and help her lose weight in a positive way when she was ready to lose the weight. Again I'm sorry for incorrect word choice. Please do forgive me on that one. I some times have my mommy brain on with my 1 year old running all around and me being pregnant again I tend to use the incorrect word or term I'm looking for. Didn't mean to offend you or any other guys out there.