What do you think? Was this mom wrong?

United States
March 12, 2012 9:36am CST
http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/story/Auburn-mom-arrested-for-encouraging-fight-speaks/PJojp8msWE6FY7rElQ3XWg.cspx A mom encouraged her daughter to fight another girl who'd been bullying her. Mom even watched the fight and cheered her daughter on, sometimes yelling "Get up, use your fists" and things like that. The mom was then arrested for encouraging this fight. What are your thoughts? Was the mom right in encouraging her daughter to fight a bully, since the bullying had not stopped using other methods? Or is encouraging your child to fight wrong enough to land you in jail?
1 person likes this
14 responses
• United States
13 Mar 12
I think fighting a bully is one way to deal with the situation but I don't think it's the ONLY way to solve that problem. When the victim decided to fight the bully she stepped down to the level of the bully and the mother joined in. What does the victim learn? How to physically punch someone? I think there could be a larger life lesson for the victim. I don't think violence is the solution and the mom was promoting violence. I'm old enough to be a mom or grandma and if it were my daughter I would try to help her find a more civilized way to stop the problem.
• United States
13 Mar 12
She didn't go to the police and she didn't go to the school board. She didn't exhaust her possibilities. I would make a big fat stink and publicly shame the people that wouldn't step up to help fix the situation.
• United States
13 Mar 12
The article said they had tried some other ways of solving the problem, but the bullying continued. What else could she have tried?
• United States
13 Mar 12
Sorry. This mother is an idiot in this case. Telling your daughter she has the right to defend herself if attacked, buying her self defense lessons, and making school and police complaints are normal things to do. I would go personally and "talk" the other girls parents and let them know what all I will do to stop it. I would confront the men that are involved too. Actually taking her daughter to go fight this bully was dumb. Her daughter could have been badly hurt and it could have become out of control with the mother unable to stop it. She obviously didn't consider that. I agree you have the right to defend yourself and that some schools do a crappy job dealing with the problem but this wasn't the correct answer. She fails.
• United States
13 Mar 12
The article did not say whether or not the mom tried those other options. I know from personal experience dealing with other parents isn't always easy because they deny what their child did, or get defensive and argumentative which doesn't solve anything either. She could have also found other ways for her daughter to avoid the bully, such as changing classes.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
12 Mar 12
My daughter and I went to get my son from working at a McDonalds once...two guys were waiting to jump him...my daughter and I were in a the car waiting for him to get out of work. Well they jumped him and my daughter and I got out and each one of us took one of the guys....not the right thing to do...but we did and they backed off with each of us hanging on to one of them....then we called the cops.....we didn't get into trouble though.....I wouldn't have encouraged the fight.....I would have gotten inbetween them and tried to straighten it out. I don't however believe the mother should have been arrested if she could prove that the other girl was doing the bullying....
• United States
12 Mar 12
From the sounds of the article, the girls are high school age. I remember high school bullies, they don't back down because an adult tells them to.
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Mar 12
the law is really going to h3ll! when they arrest a woman for encouraging her child to fight back. this never used to happen. my mom had me stand up to bullies and as long as that woman wasnt laying hands on the kid, i cant figure why they arrested her. its just wrong.
• United States
13 Mar 12
She was arrested for endagering the welfare of a child, but she was standing there watching the whole thing to make sure no real harm came to anyone. It was just a school yard brawl. So no, I don't really understand what she was arrested for either.
@mgzg11 (139)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
12 Mar 12
Where is the line between the fight and self defense? If someone is attacked, it has the right to defend itself. If someone helps his/her family member to defend itself, it's just natural, and if the law say that it's wrong, then law should be changed. In my country (Croatia), we had similar accident, but with possibly much more serious consequences. Teenage boy was molested in high school, by a group of boys from the same school, and since nobody did nothing about it, his father took it in his hands. Problem was that he was member of elite army unit, and spent 5 years in the war. That means that he was highly trained and experienced in killing people. He just caught one of the molesters, drag him behind some bushes in the park, and beat him quite properly. Of course, after that, whole discussion was started in media and people get divided over it. At the end, he was released in the court based on fact that he got PTSD from the war. Anyway, my opinion is that if society and institutions doesn't do their job, someone has to.
• United States
13 Mar 12
I would have done the same thing as he did.
• Canada
12 Mar 12
I usually tell my kids to try to use methods that do not involve fighting, or being physical. However, if all efforts to stop the bullying were unsuccessful then I probably would encourage the child to fight back and show the bully that you aren't afraid of them and stand up to them. I actually had this conversation with one of my kids tonight; we were talking about cyber-bullying and how this could be reported to the police and the person charged. My son said "Mom stop worrying I know I know, but reporting it will just make it worse everyone will say you nerd your mom had to bail you out" So I guess society is giving these kids no choice but to fight back, they aren't helping the problem they are making it worse!
• United States
13 Mar 12
That's definitely true. What else is the kid to do if nobody has any better solutions?
• Singapore
13 Mar 12
In a way, if we put ourselves in the mom's shoes, she's just trying to protect her daughter by asking her to stand up for herself but then, encouraging her to fight isn't right too. However, how would you feel if your child keeps getting bullied by those stupid people and he/she just cannot do anything? Of course you will get angry and want to take revenge right? Yea that's what this mom was trying to do apparently, not the right approach. Instead she could have talked to the other girl's parents about it and if it doesn't work, she can request to the school principal to have that girl expelled. Once and for all, get it done with.
@flower21 (765)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
fighting back is good when you been avoiding such situation and the bully does not stop. but f you do not feed them they would stop when they start to get bored and find another victim. though, in some cases there are exemption when the bully affect the life of a person. you need to stand out and fight for it. even with or without a mother to cheer, once you been bullied you need to avoid them or if you could not then have it settled with an authority who could be the best way to deal with the situation.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 12
This is a tough one! Being a father of boys, I would admit that if I found out that my kids were being bullied at school, I would also be encouraging them to fight. I think some bullies just need to be stopped, and if it takes a good fight to stop them, then I would be all for it. I'm sure society and judges would frown upon my opinion.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
13 Mar 12
Didn't see the video I believe if someone is harming you then you have every right to stand up and give them the same treatment. I wouldn't have told my child to fight but I did teach all my children at a young age to fight and not take anything. If it had been my daughter I personally would have went to the parents and told them if it didn't stop I would stop it. You can report these kinds of things to the authorities they will remove the child from the home. I have found that most of those that bully are bullied at home by someone. I don't think the mom should have went to jail for encouraging her daughter to stand up and take action. I have also found that bullies always bully. So I am with the mom that told her daughter to stand up and fight the other girl. But I would have at least tried to find out why this person was bullying my child. Actually my children wouldn't have taken any kind of bullying from the start!
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
i can't say that the mother is wrong because she is the mother. no matter what happen she will fight for her daughter and we can't question that. the bullying should stop to prevent such scenario. every mom will do not especially when you got fed up and when enough is enough.
• Valdosta, Georgia
12 Mar 12
I don't usually condone fighting but if she kept getting bullied I do not blame the mother for getting sick of it. There is only so much a mother can take and having her children hurt and upset is not something they can handle. I know when my kids are being mistreated by anyone it makes me furious! I don't think the mother should have been put in jail. I think more people need to stand against bullying and the school should care more to stop it. When I was in high school I went to public school and someone was putting threatening letters in my locker. The notes said in explicit terms how they were going to stab me and watch me die. (I believe it was my ex boyfriend). My parents went to the principal and showed her the notes. The principal said theres nothing we can do because we do not know who wrote them. My parents told them my ex was abusive and they could check his handwriting and compare it to the notes. She said were not the police, thats not our job! My parents were so angry they took me out of public school and put me in private school. I feel like in this situation the principal could have checked and kicked him out of school but instead they did nothing. Bullying is real and dangerous and it needs to be controlled better by the school and the parents together.
• United States
12 Mar 12
I don't condone fighting either.. but when I was a kid that's what I was told, if I was being bullied fighting the bully would put an end to it. I never did get into a fight, but my parents never told me to back down.
@Rick1950 (1578)
• Lima, Peru
12 Mar 12
I think it was both right and wrong. Right because she encouraged her daugther to fight and wrong because she finally was arrested. Who should help to solve this problen are the people in charge of the school.
• South Africa
12 Mar 12
I think the bullying stopped after this..Haha, the bully needed to be stopped, if this was the only way, so be it. At least the bullying stopped.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
12 Mar 12
You are so right...bullying needs to be stopped! My granddaughter is in first grade and there is alot of bullying going on there too....so sad!