Do your parents beat or punish you?

@sabado_dc (1001)
Philippines
March 13, 2012 12:46pm CST
Perhaps, for many of you, this may look insignificant, but not for me, who had seen my best friend who also happened to be my cousin being severely punished by my uncle when he brought home the equivalent of 5 dollars which he had found on a street, but could not give a satisfactory explanation to my uncle. Having seen my cousin beaten by my uncle who was then a pastor negatively affected my belief in their religion. Being young at the age of 10 then made my heart fallen into pieces. My cousin was not able to walk perfectly after his punishment. My parents had kept him for sometime in our house trying their best to soothe him. I cried when he cried. They belonged to one of the most youth fellowship sect in my country. From then and until now, I'm still trying to find the perfect reason behind the punishment. Was it because my cousin did not give a satisfactory explanation, my uncle thought that he steals the money? He was so young at that time. You may want to share on this topic?
5 people like this
20 responses
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
If the one who is administering the punishment is a pastor, then I think he does it the wrong way. I might not know the details and not in a position to make a conclusion, but if he administers the punishment publicly, then it's not the proper way. Also, I may not know the background of your cousin. Probably, he has a history of stealing which infuriates the father. My parents never laid a hand on me to punish me, which I am grateful for but I believe that I should have been spanked when I did wrong. There is a proper way of administering spanking, which should not be a punishment but a way to correct our foolishness and folly. There is a proper area too, for the rod of correction.
2 people like this
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
No he doesn't have any history of stealing.
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I am sorry about your cousin. I wonder how can a parent beat their kid for telling the truth. Granting he was not able to give a satisfactory explanation, if your cousin steal that money, for sure he will hide it from anyone. But the fact that he have it shown, is enough to prove that he is not lying. About your uncle who is a pastor- oh well, that describe him enough of who he is!
2 people like this
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
It's really hard to explain angelgee... Hu the damage has done so what can anything be done.
@samar54 (2456)
• Egypt
13 Mar 12
Yes , they were God's mercy them, hit me sometimes . I think that your uncle thought that he steals the money , so he beat him , he did want his son be a thief ,
1 person likes this
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
If I were him, I'd rather give my son a chance to prove that he did not steal the money.. Even if he is not my father, he made my heart broken into pieces when I witness my cousin crawling on the ground saying to please dad stop, please stop... Gosh... GRRR
@samar54 (2456)
• Egypt
14 Mar 12
Yes , beat his son is not the way which teach him , and he must if he want to beat him , not do that in your in your presence .
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
We were just young at that time and we're just like twins that where ever he went my presense was needed.
@Hatley (164058)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Mar 12
that uncle is sadistic and a child abuser.no I was never beaten and my only punishments were to not have a favorite thing for a limited time if I had been naughty. my parents like myself did not believe in spanking or in beating.those just help the angry parent blow off steam as they make the child feel that the powerful gets all the goodies. these often grow up to be wife beaters and child abusers as they have warped sense of reality An uncle like that should have been punished and jailed for abusing his child.
1 person likes this
@samar54 (2456)
• Egypt
13 Mar 12
that is good thing when we not give our kids a favorite things to punishment , because the beat is a bad way of breeding
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
I agree hatley I would be grateful if he were jailed at that time.
14 Mar 12
If my parents ever hit me I don't remember it and we never hit our kids. I think that if you need to hit your children then you have failed as a parent. Clearly your uncle was not only a failed parent but a failure as a person which it probably why he needed to turn to some religious organisation to bolster his personal standing in the community. I always treat vicars and priests with suspicion until I know them well enough to either confirm that I was justified in that approach or that they are okay. The problem always is with religious people is that their attitudes to any situation tends to come with a load of unnecessary baggage
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber...The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Jn 10:1-10" --We should not judge even in any form of suspicion. That is a wrong mindset --You can always give your personal opinion in my discussion but not your personal attack to my Religion. Why is it that you dislike priests?
14 Mar 12
I do not dislike priests in fact I know some that I like quite a lot. Suspicion is not judgement that comes when your suspicions are justified or unfounded. I am not attacking your religion in particular but all religions in general for the same reasons that I am suspicious of priests. They are all based on myths and legends and some priests make decisions and judgements firmly based on those myths. How many people have been killed and tortured when those acts have been justified on religious grounds and it is still happening today The truth is nobody knows or has ever known who or what created the universe and laid down the natural laws by with it all works and anyone who claims that they do know is living a lie.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Wow! anyway, whatever principles you got will not apply to many maybe all you're so lost
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
I think that people like that are hypocrites.I myself was not in good terms with my parents so I feel for your cousin.So much for Holy people!Sila mga demonyo!
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
May tama ka diyan Princess but please don't let your pride ruled you pinipirito lang yan please fill the spaces that gaps you from your parents. Not in a good terms with parents means childish analysis to me(at least for me). I've learned that from my father. I love my parents so much and I can't wait to see their faces wearing their sweetest smile when I bring home my diploma.... hehehe sobrang excited na ba ako? hehe
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
Mahabang kwento kaya di kami masyado magkasundo.Bumabait na nga sa kin ngayon kasi magbubukod na ko.Bakit childish?Not everyone is lucky to have a family like you.Sad to say,katotohanan talaga yung mga disfunctional families.Pwede nga naman idaaan sa usapan ang mga bagay pero di rin tatatlab kung closed minded mga kausap mo to the point na tingin nila sila ang tama palagi.Maswerte ka sa family mo dahil sabik ka umuwi sa kanila.That's indeed one thing that you're supposed to be grateful for.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
I see, I saw one of your posts which I think has something in relevance with your plight and status quo.. bat di ka pa kasi magsarili? mukhang nagmamahalan naman kayo ng diowa mo at may nangyari na pala sa inyo. dapat hindi mo yun ginawa sa bahay niyo. dapat nag hotel na lang kayo. nakakahiya naman kay nanay. ako nga madalas din kaming magkita ng gf ko pero siyempre hindi ko pina paalam maski na kanino. lalo na sa part ng gf ko.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
16 Mar 12
Hi sabado, I can assure you that no one should think this insignificant. It's clear that though your uncle was a Pastor, he had no knowledge of how to deal with children. I read recently that without religion, we would still have good people doing good things and bad people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, we need religion. I realize that this is not always true, but it's usually those who consider themselves Christians who still believe it's fine to spank their children. Blessings.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
Thanks for your great response. Actually the spanking thing can be found in the bible under proverbs like this goes he who spares his rod of discipline hates his son but he who loves him diligently disciplines and punsihes him early. in my own opinion although it was clearly written and well understood lambasting or spanking a kid must be done very gently
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
17 Mar 12
Hi again sabado, That rule, spare the rod and spoil the child was written a long time ago and we've come a long way since then. Please don't take these things literally, as much of what's found in the Bible was meant for a different age. Blessings.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Thanks for reminding me
@jonnifc (1021)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
I can't pass judgement on the character of your Uncle because no one has the right to. But I will judge what he has done. If your cousin can't walk properly after the punishment, I think the punishment was too much. Too severe to incapacitate your cousin. Punishments are meant to teach a lesson, not to hurt. When it comes to that point, it becomes abuse. They should have talked about it first. It's like a court trial. Innocent until proven guilty. So your cousin should have had the chance to defend what he has done. I do hope your cousin will not end up harboring ill feelings towards his father because of that.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
What a nice response No he did not endup harboring ill feelings because my parents were with him most of the times my uncle loses his control. He 's very successful now
@jonnifc (1021)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
Hi! Thanks! I'm glad your cousin is doing well now. He was very fortunate that your parents were with him when his dad loses control. I guess our guardian angels come in many forms. =)
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
At 10 is still a minor so yep angel Gabriel was there
@Runite (307)
• United States
18 Mar 12
Dedication to a religion may result to forcing it upon your children.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
Compulsion is not accepted
@Runite (307)
• United States
18 Mar 12
That's one thing that made me hate religion in the first place. Parent's teaching it to their kids at a influential age or forcing it upon them some times if they question or don't join it.
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
14 Mar 12
I completely agree with Hatley and the others on here, that is no way to treat a child and he (your Uncle) has a warped sense of parenting. Unfortunately there is alot of people who use any excuse to beat their child, it's just crazy. I think the "pastor" will be judged by his maker in the same way he preaches about others who do wrong. He is as evil as anyone else who does evil things. Too bad he wouldn't believe it if it hit HIM in the face. I'm so sorry about your cousin, I hope he knows it was wrong and doesn't copy this crazy and abusive behaviour on anyone else.
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
14 Mar 12
Most* of the others
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
I am with you and hatley barbaric way of disciplining
• Maldives
14 Mar 12
Actually there is nothing wrong in beating a kid by their parents.But this case seems a bit disturbing as there is no real reason to beat or rather I should say torture as the punishment was severe. If this kind of punishing continue there is no doubt these kids will most probably grow up to be violent and ill tempered as that was they were taught. It's good that you cried as it is evident that you have mercy in your heart and some people lack it and I guess uncle is one of them.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
I agree that there's nothing wrong in punishing a kid by his or her parents as long as it 's done healthily. In fact, according to the bible, children who never received any such punishment or let us say who were not properly disciplined by their parents were the ones miserable
@pandora22 (869)
• Romania
14 Mar 12
this is the dark side of the very religious people.i am lucky and my parents never belived that violence will ever get to anything good but i growed up having school mates or friends that were beaten for the most stupid reasons,because this is how their parents believed the education is mad.i was talking once with a priest about this and he told me that the beating is torn from heaven.many ideeas as this one made me wonder about religion many times.i just got to the conslusion that the people taht pretend to be very faithful,are actually using religion to justify some wrong habits.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Torn from heaven? Aha, it's may be because if a child whose behavior is controlled by beating, is likely to carry on the same mode of interaction to anyone so is a torn from heaven like this one? do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you?
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
i do in response to the last question. in response to the title, my parents, when i was a child, spanked me once in a while but not on a daily basis. my father was a fair individual so the spanking was lesser and truly meant i did really really wrong. as to your cousin, i felt sad. some parents can be exaggerated and abusive. they think they always have the power. it can be enjoyable for some to feel power over somebody much more a son or a daughter. it's not really about the religion, it's the person's dysfunctional state of mind. :-)
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
logically speaking, it is all about religion because he turned out to be a bad model of their pious sect. he's a pastor, haven't you seen that?
@maezee (29563)
• United States
14 Mar 12
I was lucky in that my parents really did not believe in this. Their punishment (being mad at me, making me take a time out, not allowing me to watch TV for a few days/a week, etc) was punishment enough. I hated when my parents were disappointed in me for ANYTHING! That was enough to keep me in line. I feel a little bad for people who are spanked during childhood for doing bad things, but a lot of kids are. That's the weird part. I couldn't imagine hitting my kids. Violence doesn't ever seem like the answer...I would never want my kids to be literally scared of me. *shrugs*
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Some say, Parents could be our soldier to protect us from our enemies, doctor to maintain our good health, teacher to teach us good morals values conduct etc, and Parents to comfort and catch and get our feet from falling
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
How can they expect the child to tell the truth if he gets beaten like that? They are in effect teaching the child to be a liar just to escape punishment. If the child did steal that money, then they have failed as parents to teach the child the real value of being honest.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Oh, How true
@Dhongda (41)
14 Mar 12
When I was a kid my parents punished me a lot. Whenever I do something wrong, whenever I get bad mark on school, I will be scolded by my mother. I used to think that my parents hate me. But, now, I understand they punish me because they want me become a good kid and they want me to grow up as a good man. The reason for all their punishment are all their love. I need quite a long time to realize this.
@huqh123 (182)
• China
14 Mar 12
i never met this kinds of situation. my parents are very kind and they have their ways to teach me. he and she never punish me. when I made a mistake, he will persuade me to correct it and find out where the problem is. we always did it well and could draw lessons from their words. this is good for me and my growth. I thank them for your kind action and I appreciate their ways of doing it. ok. this is what I am thinking of. www.jtyhair.com
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Great response thank you
@toniganzon (44922)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I think your Uncle was more concerned of his own reputation being marred than his own son. He was ashamed of what his son did, thinking he stole that money but he was not ashamed of punishing his son. And he calls himself a religious person! What a hypocrite. I hate people who goes to church, showing others they are very religious but they're not applying what they have learned from church or what they preach!
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
That 's what every one were thinking, he was more concerned about his reputation
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
My parents punish me if i commited mistakes to them....
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
Aha, that's sweet I think
• India
2 Jun 12
God beats us every day.