What do you think about my friend's situation?

@chicgale (2982)
Philippines
March 15, 2012 6:27am CST
I met this woman at the restaurant with her american fiance. And now, her fiance asked me to teach her soon to be bride a basic English so I gotta meet this girl everyday. So, to make the story short, this woman is pregnant. She told me that she met this man at one of the dating sites and decided to meet her last November for a couple of days. Last January, this american guy came here again to meet her and that day she slept with him. The next day, the guy broke up with her coz he wanted to date another woman in another island. Few weeks later, she found out that she missed her monthly period so she didn't have any other choice but to tell this american guy. The guy asked her to buy a pregnancy test just to make sure that she is really pregnant. The test came out positive! So he wasn't suppose to come back here coz he had another girlfriend already. So, the man broke up with this other girl on their romantic valentine's day dinner date. So, the man came back here and told my friend that he will marry her and he is excited to have the baby. And now, my friend's problem is, since she don't speak good English, she is having a hard time of communicating with the guy. The man promised her that he will come back here since he is now back in the U.S. and will support her and the baby and he will marry her this coming November this year. Last night, my friend found out that her fiance is still communicating with the girl that he just broke up. My friend saw and read how he flirted on the photo comments at the other girls sexy photos. My friend was very depress and emotional right now. I kept on telling her just to keep on trusting him coz maybe he is just bored or just fooling around with this other girl. She said she can still feel that he still have feelings for that other girl coz she asked him once already to remove that girl on his friends list on Facebook. Do you think this man still have a feelings for the other girl? I just don't know what to tell my friend.
16 responses
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
16 Mar 12
I am slightly pessimistic in your story. I am sure that he won't come back any more and as now the time is late, she will deliver a baby to non to call as father. I don't want to blame anyone but I think these people are living in this new geneation world and should have the basic common sense and general awareness about what is happening around. How dare she had a feeling to have s** with an unknown guy who suddenly met on web sites. Almost 99.99% of people are looking only for s** and nothing more. He didn't gave much importances to it and your friend may be his 1000th girl for his need. Make her understnad the fact that the world around is like this. If she is so fond of s** there are so many other ways to get relaxed. First of all, she willingly got involved with the man (which is not supposed to do). Again, at the time of s** she didn't prepared for non-preg medium to prevent it. Also, as being a man, he should not be allowed to get the spem get into her body so that she could have been save her from being preg. Now, it is your friend's responsibility to face the consequences. I strongly beleive that this guy won't come back or never be in touch with her. He is a s** maniac and would be in a hurry to looking for fresh girls around. Ask her to get ready for the preparation for the delivery! Just like other girls deliver an infact who is destined to call no one as papa!! Poor child, where is our world moving to and when our women will get some thinking power? They don't even have no parants to correct them? Man have limitations. He cannot keep 100s of girls as wife and cannot lookafter 1000s of children from those girls. So, it is every girl's responsibility to 'care' themsevels from such woolf around and now what happend? She lost her precious life for a fault of 3-5 mts. of foul play. So let her experience the bitterness of such things. If she could have wait for a nice guy to marry, she could have look for a a dream married life with nice h/b and proud children if they blessed with them. Now, if a child is born to her, may be it is a girl/boy, whether your friend can love them with peace of mind? How they will grow up? The child would be father-less (bas****) for ever? We, the girls should think all these things just before going with a man for s** illegally. But if it is legally we do, there is nothing as happy as that!!! But if we try to enjoy this happiness without proper green card, there is nothing as bad as this. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Thank you for the very nice comment. Yes, I told my friend to get ready on the consequences and be prepare if ever he is not coming back.
• India
16 Mar 12
Hi dear, Sorry, if I hurt you in any manner. In fact I was so angry while writing those words. In my heart, I feel pitty about the girl. What to do, we all should be little bit careful when it comes to such matters. If I get the man infront of me, I will definitely slap on both his cheek. Any way, please advise to take care of herself and I deeply sorry, if I hurt in anyway, I didn't mean it. I am so sad about your friend and please convy my special regards to her and you to give courage and pleasure to your charming frined. Poor girl and may God bless her. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Oh no, you don't have to apologize. I understand about what you feel. Yes, it very hard on my friend's part. I really thank for your great advise.
@owlwings (40055)
• Cambridge, England
15 Mar 12
I'm afraid that you have to tell your friend the hard facts: Thst this man is a cheat and a liar and he will ALWAYS be a cheat and a liar. He MAY keep his promises and come back and marry her; he MAY support her and her child but I would be 90% certain that he will not and another 99% certain that the marriage will not last long at all and that she will be unhappy. She should make up her mind to give him up as a loser!
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Yes, that's what I thought also. I think she should not marry him. OR she has to take her time and know him more first.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
16 Mar 12
Well she did not take her time to know him better...did she?...she is already pregnant! how much time any one need to face the truth?
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yes, she made a mistake of getting involved with him right away.
@florizel (58)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
It's hard to give your trust to the people whom you really dont know , especially people whom you just met on the net.It's good for her to continue communicating with the guy but don't expect too much. If he will come back and he marry her, well fine, but if he will not, just fight for the right of the child.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yes, you are right. ;-) Thanks for your comment.
@clouds0327 (1390)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
It's really hard to tell since your friend just met him from a dating site. They haven't really spent time for a long time so they really don't know each other that much. For now, I can say this guy isn't that serious yet. But I guess eventually he will be serious when everything begins to sink in. Like I guess when he can see the baby he will gradually feel the responsibility that he is now a father and he sould stop flirting with other girls. It's hard to say because we don't know what kind of guy he is. The problem is that she is pregnant. I guess whatever happens in the end she should face the consequences of her actions and just take this as a lesson and then start a new life with her child. The child is a blessing.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
I think this guy is a nice guy. Yes, I will tell my friend today about your advice. Thank you so much!
@Graceekwenx (3163)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Hi Chicgale...Wow what a story! All i could say is that even though he got her pregnant, this is still no assurance that he would really marry her. He can probably be saying that so that she wont feel too bad. If the guy was really serious with her, he should have dropped everything behind and be loyal to her. For the meantime, tell her to focus on a healthy pregnancy. It is a complicated situation she is in. Apart from her pregnancy, she should have a heart-to-heart talk with the guy on his commitments. Just the same, she should be strong enough for herself and for the baby just in case the truth comes out that this guy aint really serious about the whole stuff.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Thank you for your respond. That'w what I told her also. I gave her positive comments about him coz she is pregnant. I used to be single mother and me and my ex bf (my daughter's father) wanted to marry me also when he found out that I was pregnant, but later I found that he had another girl. So, I broke up with him. I don't want to marry someone or I don't one someone to marry me just for the sake of the baby coz I know sooner our relationship won't last.
@bunnybon7 (37984)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Mar 12
i hate to say it but its not a good idea to start a marriage like this. shes better off to forget him except to have him pay for and keep contact with his child. if she keeps this up and marries him, its like he will always feel she trapped him and forced him. you need to tell her you cant force someone like that into something major. they will grow to hate her and probably wont have a good marriage. sounds like his heart is with the other gal and he is just trying to do right by the child.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yes, you are right. I told her to think about on marrying him.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
I mean I told her she has to think many times if she is going to marry to him coz I told her also not to jump into marrying someone you hardly know.
@cieldz (711)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 12
Hello chicgale :) Ooh sorry about your female friend.. She has a bad fiance.. I think that the man is a jerk, cause he still communicate with the other girl, and maybe they still in love relationship behind your friend.. Maybe he said that he broke up with the other girl and want to marry her only to make her calm down.. But I hope he has a good willing to marry your friend not only because of the baby but I hope he will marry her because he loves her, not playing her heart.. Just praying for the best for your friend and her baby.. Tell her don’t too depress cause it connected with the baby’s health..
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
Thank you cieldz!
• United States
16 Mar 12
There is a 1 in a million chance that the guy will actually marry your friend. There is also a 1 in a million chance that he will be faithful to her. Their relationship started as him using her as a free (you know what.) What is the chance she can be more for him? I don't know, but I hope the best.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yeah.. I hear you on that.. ;-)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
this man is not good, its better if she moved on with her life find another man with a good behavaior and race her child without this man, because if she continue to marry him,she'll end up with a big miss in life,problem because this man is not truthfull and faithful. another things,its also good if become more selective,think first before we do things, and be refined as much as we can. because we cannot RE-DO what miss we have done with our life.WE ARE A DRIVER OF OUR OWN LIFE! so drive if safely.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yes, I talked to my friend this morning and told her to think many times and balance everything before marrying him.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
16 Mar 12
What a strange situation! How can a girl go to these lengths just on knowing a person for such a short time! It takes years to get to know a person even after marriage and living under the same roof. If not for anything else, should girls not be careful for the sake of self preservation at least! You cannot tell your friend anything. She has been foolish and she just has to pray to God to make everything alright.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Yes, I already told her that it takes time to know a person.
• Indonesia
15 Mar 12
There 2 options for your friend, and it will like gambling. The options are to trust or not trust her fiance. 1. Trust her fiance, she have to have open her heart for her fiance that he still have contact with his ex. Having contact with the ex not always mean as cheating. May be they just having conversation like 2 close friend, they were close as couple before, I do sometimes left flirty comment on my friends wall. Choosing to trust him will bring positive respons from the fiance. Sometimes, sometimes,we need to trust some1 even its hard to do, but it will worth even if someday he will go and leave her. She can tell her baby someday that she is a great mom who can stand and make it through even she is leaved and alone. 2. Not trust her fiance, she is depressed because she found her fiance flirting in FB with his ex. If she can't help the depression, she can't make the relationship lasting forever. Depression will give bad impact to her pregnancy. If she can't trust her fiance, simply don't take the next step for a marriage, cos she will be unhappy ever after. Not to trust him, means she have to prepare herself for the baby, take care herself and the coming baby aswell. It will be hard time, but its her choice. For me, I think the fiance is trully will back and marry her, may be he just flirting around on FB with his ex. He came back to her when he knew that she is pregnant, he is so excited about the fact that they will gt a baby. If he is trully a devil guy, he will just ignored your friend and never came back, but he did back right? He still have the good hearted, that he will take the responsibility on your friends pregnancy. Its depend on your friend.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Thank you for the very nice comment. You are absolutely right. Yes, I can tell that this guy is a nice man, but I think he is still on shock about the situation. He didn't really expect that he will make this girl pregnant. My friend has a fault too coz she don't communicate with him enough. I kept on telling her that she should communicate with him so that their relationship will grow. They never know each other for a long time, so they have to communicate. She is going to marry him just for the sake of her family. Her family wanted them to get married right away last month when they found out that she was pregnant, but they guy asked the girls parents that they have to wait until he sees the baby.
@piya84 (2589)
• India
15 Mar 12
This guy is not actually in love with him.Eventually he is gonna cheat.Its better she just take financial support from him for sake of baby and move on in life and let him be with other girl for whom he has feelings.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Yeah, that should be the best thing to do. But my friend's family wants them to get married. I think the man still on shock about what happened coz as what he told me, he didn't expect that this girl will get pregnant and he wanted to date other girls.
• Canada
15 Mar 12
From reading what you have written here I would believe that he is not a faithful man, he seems very flighty who is to say that he won't leave again after she has the baby? Or cheat and leave the home for long periods. Does you friend want to raise the baby? Does she have any religious beliefs that she can't raise it alone without him. Someone worth her love will come along and I believe she will be much happier without the babys father. He is settling and that just doesn't work....
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Yes, my friend wants to keep the baby. My friend is very innocent and naive.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
17 Mar 12
It appears to me that the man is a player who really doesn't want to settle down with one woman, I 'd say that she should forget him, but there is the problem of the baby. Whether she marries him or not, she needs to make sure that he supports the chi ld,
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
16 Mar 12
It seems like a sad situation especially for the unexpected child. It seems like the guy does still have feelings for the other girl and to start off a marriage with little trust in not a good start for the marriage. For the sake of the child if his affair becomes a problem maybe your friend should consider raising the child on her own because a house that parents don't get along or there is no trust is a bad environment for the child. Anyway, I hope you're friend does what is best for her child.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
16 Mar 12
I think its too bad there is a child involved. It was a foolish thing for her to sleep with this guy hardly knowing him. Maybe he still intend to marry and take care of his child. Having a distance relationship he may even doubt the baby is his. Why didnt she used birth control or self control? What a mess. Guys are usually cheaters. I dont even understand how they can be talking about love. To me you have to know a person before you can love them. Getting to know them involves time spent together. Getting to know online can all be a lie. Online a person can portray themselves anyway but in person its hard to hide.