My husband has asked me about money

Vietnam
March 15, 2012 9:30pm CST
After we got married, my husband want me keeping money. Every month, he gives me some amount to care family and saving. I scrimped and saved to spend. However, he sometimes asks me how much money I'm keeping. I kept money at home. But I think it's not safe. So, I want to open a saving account at bank. I said this to my husband. He agreed. Today morning, he has asked me who will be hold of the saving account at bank? Me or Him? Or both? I'm really shocked ! The money is not much. It's only a small amount. I never think about who will be hold of it. I only want to have a saving money for rainy days in future. Didn't he believe me? How he can say like that to me? Should I turn back money to him, then I only keep a little for family?
17 responses
@ShyBear88 (59261)
• Sterling, Virginia
16 Mar 12
Him asking you that doesn't mean he doesn't believe you. That is a good question to ask because if just one of your names is on the account that day you or he has to be there to open and only you or he can but the money in. If both of your names are on the account then you both can put money in and out as need. Me and my husband we have a savings account from the moment we got married. We have what the bank calls a joint account that means we both have the ability to come and go and take the money as we want. Normally we don't touch to much we put my husbands pay check in and use what we need to us in the checking and the rest in the savings account. I wouldn't take it as an offense if my husband asked me if we both where going to be on the account or not. That money regardless of who earned the money is our money and our kids money. Well our kids have there own bank account which I'm the only one that can put money in or out of till my kids are 18. I don't keep cash on me and either does my husband. We also both have the ability to see how much is in our account and pull up what has been taken out and used where.
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
You and your husband discussed clearly about money when you have just got married, right? We didn't do. So, I felt sock! I feel that he didn't believe me.
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Personally, I would prefer if you open a joint bank account. If you trust each other 100% then it would not matter at all on who will be managing the money. I've also read the company's paper about it and it says that you may keep your individual accounts. But, it's advisable to open a joint account if both of you are planning to have upcoming purchases or projects or travel plans wherein both of you must contribute to the fund. (,")
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
You're right. A joint bank account is better for us. We trust to each others. However, we should have a tool to check what we earned. :)
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
16 Mar 12
I think maybe your husband just wants to know what's going on. It's important that you both know where your money is going, this way it's easier to plan your future if both of you know how much money you have. My husband and I have a joint chequing account and a joint savings account. we are both being very careful with our money so that we can save more.
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
I will open a general saving account in the bank. Our names will be on it. Besides, I'll open a secondary card for him in order that he can know how much money in the bank.
@offkey (313)
• United States
16 Mar 12
I sense guilt in your wording, You are partners you should have discussed it with him, money can cause so many issues in a marriage and not talking to him about something so critical is odd. He has a right to question it and you (to him) sounded deceitful. In my opinion I think that he thought it would be a joint account, I have a suggestion TALK TO HIM!!
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
Yes, I'll talk to him. Maybe I misunderstand him. I think that no problem if I and my husband are both hold of the account, right?
16 Mar 12
You are being paranoid. It's only natural for him to ask, I'd like to share my experience, my husband and I talked regarding about money and opening an account, so we went to the bank, opened an account under OUR names. As simple as that, but you might want to be transparent so as to erase any doubts between the two of you. He gives you money to keep so he trust you.
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
You're right. Maybe I'm important to the issue. I'll open a saving account with names of us :)
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
16 Mar 12
your husband should thank his stars that he got a frugal woman like you ,in this day and time most women would not even think of saving from the house keep money instead they will complain that it is not enough. If you are really saving for rainy day ,you have to do it without his knowledge otherwise he might reduce your allowance
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
I believe that I can keep money better than my husband. He also knows that :) I only feel sad because I thought that he didn't believe me. Maybe I misunderstand him. Thank you for your response.
• United States
16 Mar 12
It sounds like you were asking your husband's permission to open a savings account. If you want an account, you go open one. If you want a joint account, you grab him when he has some free time and say, "Let's go to the bank, I need you so I can set up a joint account." Couples have to be able to talk about money. Partners need to be able to work together on a budget. However, one person should never be in the position of feeling like they have to beg money from the other in order to keep the household functional. Sit down and have real conversations with your husband about the household finances. If there are frequent problems where you feel as though he doesn't trust you, there is either a problem with your relationship or with how you, personally, are perceiving things--which, in turn, will cause problems within the relationship.
1 person likes this
@jd107nette (1454)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
hmm, i think it would be better to not jump into paranoid conclusions. although i understand where you're coming at. maybe he simply wanted to make sure that whatever happens the money for the family is safe. there are several banks unworthy of trust. and if you guys do an account together, at least either of you could have access to the account and not just one. So in case of emergency and you are not around, he could pull out some money and use it. in any case, communicate your concerns with your partner. do not let a small amount of money come in between the two of you best wishes!
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
Maybe you're right. Indeed I was convinced because of your explanation :)
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 12
maybe he is only making sure his mind.. dont think like that...
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
I love him, of course. Maybe because it's too suddenly, so I feel shock. I will think about it again.
• United States
16 Mar 12
I think it should be put in both names. Randy and I have a joint checking account and a joint savings account. I think it is important to communicate with each other because it makes the marriage stronger. I think it is great that you are able to save money and still pay the bills every month. It has been a struggle for Randy and I, but we have been trying.
1 person likes this
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
It's good because you and your husband passed. I hope that we can do, too.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 12
Hi! Money is always the most sensitive issue in a family. Since he have given you the money, and you have keep it, then you should continue keep it with you. or should I say, to put it under your name or your account since those money are saved and keep by you. He should have his own account with his money. And you should also have another account with you money that you have keep. Never put all your eggs in one basket. That is the meaning of both of you having your own account.
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
Thank you for your advice. But if we have two accounts, we can do anything with them. If we plus them, we'll have a larger amount, we can do many things. On the other hand, my husband can keep money. He'll spend all if he can. so, he wants me keep money of both.
@franne32 (694)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
It's always bad for married couples to fight over money. Make sure that you understand each other before jumping to conclusions about trust. Maybe he's just asking you for your opinion. Try talking to him in a calm manner regarding this sensitive topic. After all, only the two of you know each other the best.
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
Money is an issue in family if we don't discuss clearly about it, right? I don't want argument about it occurring in my family. But I feel sad. I think I'll talk to my husband again.
@syoti20 (5293)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
If you open a Bank Account be sure to open it as Passbook, No ATM card. So that both parties will not be tempted to withdraw any single account. And also, before you open an account clear to him that this Passbook are meant for savings meaning no withdrawal will be done. UNLESS, Both of you agreed to withdraw. No consent from both person will be considered as a LIE and THEF to one another.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
16 Mar 12
Don't be overly sensitive. Your husband just asked about whom would be the bank account holder. Did he mean to distrust you? If he did have such intention, he would not have wanted you to keep the money in the first place. As husband and wife, it is better to clarify any issues immediately to avoid misunderstandings. It is sad if there is no trust between a couple.
• Vietnam
17 Mar 12
Maybe I'm too sensitive. I talk to my husband and we understand to each others now. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Mar 12
I feel that you should not judge to any conclusions regarding this and just try and communicate with your husband about this. Maybe he just wants to make sure that in an emergency either one of you can have access to the account if needed and it might have nothing to do with not having trust in you. In my opinion, it is best to have an account in both of yours names but if you still feel bad about what he said then do try to talk to him and tell him what you are feeling...
• United States
16 Mar 12
I'm sorry, but it sounds like you're jumping to conclusions and overreacting. He simply asked you a question, it doesn't sound like didn't believe you, just that he wanted to know what was going on. You should just sit down and talk to him about it.
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
I believe that your husband loves you so much and care for you. In fact, he loved you so much that he married you, then trusted you by giving you the money for you to be the budget minister. It doesn't mean that he doesn't believe in you when he asks about how much money you put in the bank or who will hold the bank account. Talk to him who will hold it for you to agree on a mutual understanding. May you have romantic days ahead.