Sometimes I wonder if I still love

@ecaron (678)
Canada
March 16, 2012 12:46pm CST
I wonder sometimes if I still love my husband because he frustrates me so much. You see he drinks too much and smokes pot sometimes and when he's drunk and high, I have a hard time to communicate with him because he repeats himself a lot and he is easily confused and argues easily. I try not to engage in conversation with him when he's like that because it's just too frustrating for me. I think I do love him but sometimes I wish I were somewhere else when he's like that. We have been together for over twenty years and I can't see myself with anyone else at this point in my life but sometimes I think about leaving, but unfortunately I really have no where to go without money or anything. I just wish I could deal with the frustration better because he says that I start to yell and get angry and I really don't want to because I think my blood pressure is getting worse again like a few years ago. I just got it under control and nowadays I can't help but wonder if it's gotten high again. I guess I just wanted to rant, sorry my lot, friends. Share your thoughts, please. Always like your responses. My lot, friends.
2 people like this
7 responses
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
16 Mar 12
ecaron ..I am sorry you have this situation. I think as long as he doesn't verbally or physically abuse you and you feel even a little, that you want to stay, you could work this out. Sometime it's a matter of just changng your outlook and reactions. I don't know how frequently this happens, but if you could not react and occupy yourself with something else maybe that would help. When he is not drinking or smoking, perhaps you could have a calm talk with him? Perhaps you could, without accusations, calmly let him know how much this hurts you. Forgive me if I am oversimplifying things as I have never been in that exact situation. I wish you all the best and will say a prayer for you
2 people like this
@patgalca (14557)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Mar 12
Well said.
1 person likes this
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
Over time, married couples get bored and frustrated that the relationship doesn't have the romance and the steamy magic it once had. In other words, the relationship may lose some of the excitement it had from the very start. It may be hard but it's completely normal. In order to fix this, you need to get to the bottom of this and do your best to rekindle the love relationship after sorting out the issue. Perhaps, a few simple actions are needed to be done to rekindle the relationship. Like creating an environment that will make your husband come back to you and not the other way around. Positive changes in your behavior will surely make him crawl back to you. Showing enthusiasm on seeing him (don't try to seem desperate though) rather than yelling and getting angry with him will be of great help. (,")
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
17 Mar 12
You know being a wife is really hard to do especially if we are in these kind of husband. If you still love him and can take his attitude you can stay with him with also your children. The important in our culture is to remain with our family as are intact and with then until end of the world. But for me this is unfair but we have nothing to do,,, only to wish and pray fro their changes. Better to kept silence and be quite if he is not in good mood to avoid arguments. Then if he is feeling better that is the time you talk with him patiently and try to understand him at your last. Please give always a try.. and don't forget to pray. It is the only thing we can do.. ok be happy and have peace..
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Mar 12
I hear you and you are justified in ranting or venting. It sounds like you need your relationship with him for financial reasons. If you are a US Citizen living the the United States you have options to leave an unhealthy situation. There are resources available. I don't know where you're from. I left my marriage about 6 years ago and I also didn't know how I would survive financially but now... everything is better including my financial situation. Hang in there and research your options.
• Indonesia
17 Mar 12
not too long harbored such frustration, yell a little tight to reduce the burden, and still up with it all
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
16 Mar 12
That would be frustrating. I know I would feel the same as you. I get frustrated with less things so I know that would make me frustrated. I wish though that your husband would consider how his actions affect you and your health rather than him being overly concerned with his personal preference to do things like that. Find things that you enjoy doing and go out and perhaps spend time with your friends when he's like that. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with those hardships.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
17 Mar 12
I am truly glad you found myLot...and have friends here to give ears to your rant! A good thing! I cannot offer any advice...as I have not walked in your shoes! I am GUESSINg that the "good-times" mostly outweigh the "bad times"...and there really is deep love, under all that rough exterior! Mostly I am concerned about how you are dealing with you...and your blood pressure issues! Please do not wonder how it is...see your Dr. and know where you stand, and whether you need meds, again! YOU are no good to yourself, or any relationship, if you are unhealthy! I, too, have blood pressure problems, mostly invoked by stress! Is there some options for you, something you love to do...and you can just go lose yourself in it...when this bad weather is looming? Is there things that precipitate this "fall from grace?" Do you notice any mood changes, swings..and then you can predict this will be the result? In my now defunct marraige...I could predict episodes, so was able to make myself scarce..and avoid encounters! I truly do wish you well...and I am guessing you truly do love him, even with these foibles! Take care!