Sister in law / sister = aggravation

United States
March 17, 2012 5:32pm CST
I love my sister. I love my sister in laws but there are times when they all make me crazy. We live too far away to visit all the time. In fact the last trip a week ago cost us over $200 in gas alone. I am now being picked at by the three harpies for not being down more often and or missing this that and the other thing. I know I am missing a birthday party for a nephew next weekend but money aside it will be my older kids first communion and I wouldn't be missing that anyway. As for the other two who love to complain but neither have been here in over 6 months I am so sick of them! Ahhh sorry needed a venting type
11 responses
18 Mar 12
Sometimes it makes you feel better to be able to let off steam with someone who is out of the situation. It might be worth you pointing out to these other family members that they haven't been to visit you in a while. And also let them know that although you realise they have things going on in their lives, you also have a live too.
• United States
19 Mar 12
I did mention it and got a "Don't lay a guilt trip on me....yada yada" speech from the one. I laid back into her as I am apt to do so but I just am tired of them. They forget our situation has been bad for months now and that we are only just now getting back on our feet. They make a good deal of money and she was raised with money and doesn't know what it is like to have to chose between a family event or groceries that week and with these gas prices that is what it is.
• United States
19 Mar 12
We keep saying that but it never seems to sink in even when they get one..lol
19 Mar 12
It sounds to me as if someone needs a reality check and to be reminded what the real world is all about at the moment. We can't all be in a position of a good income or wealth. It might be best to give them some space for a while and see what happens.
@celticeagle (157563)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Mar 12
Venting is a great option on here. I know it is easier said than done but I would just tell like it is. Can't afford it! Tell them- Bring the gas prices down and we'll visit more. Or have them shell out some money and help with gas if you want us there so badly. Or make some joke about putting in an airplane spot outside. ETC. I would get aggravated too. I usually try humor first and if that doesn't work sarcasm rears its sometimes ugly head.
• United States
19 Mar 12
Usually I do, in fact it was really the one sister in law that got to me this time. We did go down and their schedule was too busy to see us. Too busy going to lunch at the beach club and movies with the kids. Now both of those things are done on a weekly basis and we could have done with them if they wanted to see us so bad, but they didn't and now that we won't be down she is going to throw a fit becasue it is a party. Oh I am sorry! Sorry..ranted again
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (157563)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar 12
Let her throw a fit if she wants to. You'd think she would set aside time when you do come. If she wants to see you so bad let her send ya some $$$$. hehe
• United States
20 Mar 12
She is one of those who feel everything should be their way..lol oh well! I just stopped answering the phone when it is them, in a week or two I'll pick up again
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59260)
• Sterling, Virginia
18 Mar 12
I know your feeling. One of sister in laws drive me crazy for different reasons. My husbands step mom thinks that we need to be down where they live for every family event. I pretty much told them sorry I'm not driving 9 hours to be at some family thing that you want us to be at. We spend $200 to get there back and we aren't doing it every time there is something she wants us to be there. I don't care who's birthday it is or if its for family pictures I have a life of my own and my own family to deal with. So now they just leave us alone and we go when we feel like going. They never come see us which is fine with me but at least my husband mom and step dad will come see us when they can and my parents do the same so we don't have to drive 9 hours every time they want us to see them or us to see them. We go once a year there and they come once a year or more to us. They can afford it but we can not.
• United States
20 Mar 12
9 hours! Some people you would think would have a little understanding it's not like you going 9 minutes down the road.
@ShyBear88 (59260)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Mar 12
9 hours with a 1 year old and a pregnant women it can either be good or horrible. Some of them just don't understand 9 hour drive can easily for us turn into 12 hours with a toddler and the pee breaks and it does take up a lot of money and time away from me and my husband just being parents. Some of our family they understand that and others don't. I tell people if you want us to come and visit we need to know like a year to 3 to 4 months a head of time so we can figure things out and get money put a side. If its that important to you we will try to be there with the correct amount of time given to us. We plan to go see our parents since they all live in the same area which is nice either for Thanksgiving or Christmas which they all know and if we can visit one more time they we will if we can't then you might want to plan to come see us. twice a year we go on vacation as a family one to see our family in Virginia and the other to go to Ohio for the family reunion on my husband's dad side of the family. We know every year those are the two places we are going and we start saving up for them months a head of time. Cause in one place we don't have any where to stay and the other we do. Other wise its nice being 9 hours away from family they don't tell us how to parent our daughter or other child that will be coming. We don't get irritated as often. Its nice we have a small amount of family in town and they normally leave us be and if we see each other we say hey how are things going and stuff.
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
18 Mar 12
Similar things hapened to us recenlty, we wish we could have gone to my husband's 60th Anniversary but, because they live like 3 days away from us and we have the bankrupcy that was working against us, we couldn't make it, they had thought about give us some help moneywise but they realised that, that is why we couldn't make it and the complaint kind of stopped.
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
18 Mar 12
The 60th anniversairy of my husband's parents I meant .
• United States
19 Mar 12
It is hard, feeling bad because you can't. It is also embarrassing some times to argue out the point when they know it is a money issue and nothing else.
• Canada
18 Mar 12
I wouldn't worry about the sister-in-laws too much. Seems like they are very hard to please so just let them be and don't stress too much about them. I wouldn't go often to see my sister-in-law if only the gas money cost me $200. It is too expensive and they need to understand that. Otherwise why don't they come over to visit you. Also, your son's first communion is a lot more important than another family function so just forget all this and just be happy...
• United States
19 Mar 12
Well my girls are more important to me then my nephews, not nice to say I am sure but they are my kids. They have many reasons not to come up here often, some good ones at that but whre as we understand they seem not to.
• India
28 Jun 12
I think you owe them an explanation why you could not visit them as often as they want. Make them understand your financial situation. Also, maybe you and your sisters in law could reach a compromise or a kind of schedule where one visits the other. Visiting does not have to be one way you know.
• United States
29 Jun 12
Well they knew quite well as we have had this discussion many times. They had no understanding of what we where and have been going through. My husband was in school and had lost his job. Although he picked up work where he could he had no steady pay as construction jobs go for only a few weeks with time in between. Then in September our home was ruined in a terrible flood. They knew we where paying rent for an apartment, our mortgage and electric and water as well as fuel bills for both. There is only so much one can do. We are in our home again (though it isn't finished) and he has finished school as well as landed a good paying steady job but we have a very large amount of debt to make up for and just can't spend a few hundred dollars when ever they want us to. They just don't understand it is too much right now.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
18 Mar 12
That is frustrating! It's so easy for other people to say that we should be doing something and they don't even do it themselves. I'm fortunate that my sisters and sister in law live very close by and aren't the type to really complain if they don't see me.
• United States
21 Mar 12
When we moved away the gas wasn't so much of an issue as it has tripled in price since we have been here it has diminished our visits. The fact that we also have three additional children as to when we moved makes a big diffrence as well.
• United States
18 Mar 12
I can relate. My sister in law is aggrivating as well. Randy has been having health issues and I had called to let her and her husband know what is going on. Instead of saying I am sorry that randy is sick and that he is in our thoughts and prayers she says well, unlike you I have three children who need me to take care of them and besides a good mother would never leave her children. Well, first off I never asked her to drop everything to come down and help nor would I want her help. I had gotten so mad at her that I had said, "well, I am taking care of my husband and that family is important to me and since your husband and my husband are brothers I thought that you might want to know about your brother-in-law. I am sorry that your sister and sister in law are driving you crazy.
• United States
21 Mar 12
Well that is insulting. It is amazing how angry people get when they think some one is asking them for help. If your husband had become so sick as to pass they would have been so angry for you not telling them. Some people you cannot please. Hope Randy feels better.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
oh my, you spent so big just for gas. that's pretty expensive. I hop you got time to explain how busy you are and patch up things soon..
• United States
21 Mar 12
I did but it didn't matter
18 Mar 12
tell them to help you in some expenses..sample..th very very gas to de used in your trip..its not easy spending money especially you dont know how to manage it...tell them frankly those things..its not harmful?!1
• United States
21 Mar 12
Lol they would not do so, well my sister might but I would feel weird excepting money form them.
• Singapore
18 Mar 12
One better way to release your anger is by doing this, venting type, I understand how you feel, i suggest to you perhaps talk things out with them both, Clarifying things is the best solution in resolving things
• United States
19 Mar 12
I do that here a little too often I might think..lol