Talking a different language?

@GreenMoo (11842)
March 19, 2012 11:43am CST
My partner and I both speak English, or at least I always thought we did. But when we have a telephone conversation where I come away thinking he is about to leave work and I´ll see him in an hour or so for dinner, and he thinks he´s explained that he intends to show up seven hours later and not to bother, it does leave me rather wondering. It makes me consider the possibility of parallel universes. Perhaps I should just accept that we each have our own, and make appointments to meet for coffee occasionally. Do you ever have conversations like this one with your partner or spouse? Or your boss or anyone else actually! How do you explain how two people can have totally different interpretations of the same conversation?
2 people like this
11 responses
@Vvance (280)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Lol isn't it funny how that happens? Well, maybe individuals perceive the same conversation from a different perspective, based on their past experiences. Or perhaps, the thoughts or emotions they have, at that moment, dictate their interpretations of the conversation.
@GreenMoo (11842)
20 Mar 12
Or perhaps, cynical little me thinks, that feeling a little sheepish could play a part in the reinterpretation of the facts?
@Vvance (280)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Haha, is that a bit of a confession I hear?
@GreenMoo (11842)
21 Mar 12
Not from me! And you´d need to pull his fingernails out to get a confession from him!!
@p1kef1sh (45640)
20 Mar 12
I think that it is called a "relationship". Both parties have selective hearing! No other explanation.
@GreenMoo (11842)
21 Mar 12
To the point P1kef1sh, but not good enough!
@p1kef1sh (45640)
21 Mar 12
Yes Miss! Or "No Miss!" Must try harder......
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
20 Mar 12
It looks like you both need a translator for "Guyspeak"! Even having a common language,making conversation's not always easy..everyone has their own way of perceiving something,and 2 people observing the same thing can both come away from the situation with a different conclusion.. Seems his idea of "Coming home soon" gets a lot more flexible when he manages to blank out that whole "Dinner" Part You mentioned..
@GreenMoo (11842)
21 Mar 12
Maybe he translated ´dinner at home´ as ´drinks elsewhere´?
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
21 Mar 12
Because of course you would usually have drinks along with dinner,and it's roughly the same thing,right?
@inertia4 (27784)
• United States
19 Mar 12
I have had conversations like that with my ex wife. I always explained everything that I had to do. But she never seemed to understand exactly what I meant. She used to go and talk to other people about us and our personal life. I always got angry at that. And I would always say the same thing, don't ever tell anyone anything personal. She wound up cheating and leaving. She also used to tell me that she had to work late or go back to work, after a while, I had the feeling she was being sneaky.
@GreenMoo (11842)
19 Mar 12
I don´t like too personal discussions either.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27784)
• United States
24 Mar 12
Well, she talked her way right out of the marriage. But she was also very deceptive about it as well.
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
19 Mar 12
Oh, so definitely. All the time I feel like hubby just does not get it, and I can talk til I am blue in the face, and listen as well. We just do not even start out with the same priorities, so it is hard to finish in the same location.
@GreenMoo (11842)
19 Mar 12
So glad I´m not alone.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
19 Mar 12
I think there is a whole crowd of us out here. In all fairness hubby would say that I do not get it either, and that what he hears and understands frequently is not really what I intended.
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
21 Mar 12
I've had many conversations that I've obviously come away with a different interpretation than what the other person has said. Of course there are times where people could really do a bit better job than explaining themselves. Or this is really just something, where some people say a lot of things but their intentions are obviously different. I interpreted their words right in the sense of how I looked at their words. However the one fundamental flaw is really I did not have an access to their thought process. That is really the worst thing, as people say words that could have a double meaning. I look at the words and it seems obvious what they might be saying. Someone else might look at the words differently. There are times where there is a language barrier but I think that there is just a rather key interpretation barrier out there.
@GreenMoo (11842)
21 Mar 12
Any conversation on the phone will be more difficult too of course, as you are missing the body language signals which we rely on to interpret speech.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Sometimes. I thought he understood to meet me somewhere and he heard something else. Thank goodness for cell phones or I'd be waiting and he'd be waiting and I'd never get home. I find, "Do you want me to wait supper for you or not?" works well. "Estimated time of arrival (eta) is what?" also works well.
@GreenMoo (11842)
21 Mar 12
I think doing a quick recap at the end of the conversation is something I should build into our calls, certainly. Actually answering his mobile phone is another issue entirely!
@davaome (1828)
• Philippines
20 Mar 12
This happens to me, not really that often, but time to time, I do encounter such misunderstandings. Not really sure if a parallel universe is there, but maybe there is. hahaha have a nice day
@GreenMoo (11842)
20 Mar 12
If there is a parallel universe, it´s obviously where my scissors are hiding. I can´t find them anywhere this morning!
@Lore2009 (7388)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Yes that is quite true! I've been speaking to someone lately in their language (literally) and have been longing for someone who speaks "English" but now you've reminded me of that. haha. I guess it's better that I have something to blame it on.
@GreenMoo (11842)
20 Mar 12
Language is all in the interpretation I suppose.
• United States
20 Mar 12
It is funny how when you have a conservation and a few hours later you find that the other party completely interperted this conservation in a different way. It does make you wonder if there is some type of language barrier or are they making excuses to cover the fact that they just did not really listen to you in the first place. This may be the problem. Having a conservation with someone and actually listening are two different things. Sounds like your partner came up with his own interpertation because he chose to do something else, be it going out with friends or what have you. Next time you have a conservation make sure that the conservation is fully understood and then there should be no problem.
@GreenMoo (11842)
20 Mar 12
Next time I´ll certainly be making certain that we are agreed! I don´t mind if he´s back late, but I like to know the plan so I am not cooking unnecessarily or waiting up.
• Canada
19 Mar 12
I might have had a few conversations like this with my partner where we misinterpreted what the other person said but it is not very often and then we just clarify everything out afterwards. It is very irritating when you say something and the other gives it a whole different interpretation...
@GreenMoo (11842)
19 Mar 12
Irritated would be rather a misinterpretation of how I was feeling about it