Girlfriend goes to clubs alot

Australia
March 22, 2012 5:25am CST
What do you think if my girlfriend goes to clubs alot? I am not sure if she dances with other guys but I get bad feelings in my gut when she goes out. Is this appropriate?
2 people like this
14 responses
@meozard22 (872)
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
let her enjoy her life if that's her hobby. If you prove that she is flirting with another guy, that's the time you have to confront her. But if you know that she's not doing anything that can affect your relationship and you really trust her, you will have a good relationship with her
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
28 Mar 12
well said meozard, not trust no relationship. Love itself is a trust, if anyone loose trust on other then that is the end of the good relationship.
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
thank you jotomy
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
22 Mar 12
I think that if you are bothered by it it's not good. I am not saying that she is doing anything wrong, but I think the fact you get a weird feeling in your gut means that you need to have an honest and open chat with her. You need to let her know, in the kindest way possible, that you worry about her going out and dancing at clubs. You need to be honest about it and tell her you get jealous. Honesty is the best policy and being open and kind will make things go smoother, and maybe she will let you go with her once or twice to ease your mind, or she'll agree to not go as often.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
22 Mar 12
great answer! Communication is so important. If she cares about him as he cares about her then she would not want to do things that upset him. Maybe a compromise?
• United States
29 Mar 12
Your G/f gos to the Club A lot- She doesn't Love You& most likely has another mate . It means she's not getting enough, and is looking, clubs=horney& if you are not clubbing with her you best be cheating on her, because it's happening to you!?
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
29 Mar 12
I say yeah , if your mad , say it address it to her , and to me , couples going to clubs arent cool , not unless the both of you can handle it .
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
28 Mar 12
Hi livetrent,I think you are unnecessarily worrying about your girl friend, she may be having of her friends there who goes to clubs. May be she is dancing or spending time with her friends, her friends may not be boys. If you love a person then you should have trust on them. Girls are mostly very honest to their love. Try to talk to her openly and ask whatever you have doubts. Keeping something in the mind and moving with your girl friend may get problems, let clear off all your doubts. Have a nice day.
• Canada
25 Mar 12
I wouldn't worry too much if she dances with other guys. Now if she was kissing and getting intimate with other guys, then you need to worry! Let her have fun, join her! She may be happy that you tagged along. :-) perhaps its what she needs...
@kaeirole (669)
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
socializing in clubs may be appropriate if full responsibility is taken by your girlfriend..she must know her limits.. for you not to think bad about it, you should find time to go with your girlfriend in the club..in that way, both of you can bond and at the same time, you will know the answer of your bad feelings about that issue..
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
You should go with her if it really bothers you. If not, tell her that it bothers you that she goes there a lot.
• United States
23 Mar 12
Do you ever go out with the guys without your girlfriend? Do you dance with other girls? If not, why would you think she would do something you wouldn't do? Trust is the first step in a real relationship.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
22 Mar 12
Hi Livetrent, as the others have suggested...Communicate with her. It's so important. I'm not big on clubbing but I have done it and it can be fun once in a while. When I was married there were a couple of times that I went with a group of my girl friends and it's true that guys will buy you drinks and possibly hit on you but honestly nothing ever happened because I was devoted to my husband..my marriage and it was not something that I did often at all without my husband. You say she goes a lot. I'm curious as to why you aren't going with her? Is it because you choose not to? Trust is right up on the list of importance with communication. You have to have it. There is nothing at all wrong with dancing with someone else. I don't like to dance in public and I've never had an issue with any guy that I'm with dancing with someone else. If I did, I would be learning to dance so I could feel confident dancing with him. So that part is nothing. The fact that you are concerned is something and you need to work that out with her.
@5mahi05 (667)
• India
22 Mar 12
Hello friend, If you have such feelings, then it is always better to confront it with her rather to have the gut feeling of yours showing a lot of possibilities. Speak with her. Get to know why she enjoys going out there. Is the girl ready to go out with you there?! If not, then you should be worried about it. Sure you would have known her before you proposed her, that she goes to pubs and clubs and all, then you shouldn't be feeling bad about it now when you are in a relationship. Forever it is better to just speak out your doubts than to keep it to yourself and confuse yourself and make the relationship sour and bitter to handle.
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
22 Mar 12
Has She ever said She prefers to go on her own when She goes out for the evening,or have You refused to go out clubbing with Her? Is clubbing not your thing? Seems that the easiest way out of your dilemma would be to hang out more with her in Public,rather than staying home imagining the worst case scenario of what She's doing when You're not around..At the very least,You should talk with Her about her nights out so that it shows you take an interest.
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
I've been having a wonderful relationship with my husband, ever since we were still on our boyfriend-girlfriend stage because of open communication so I'd like to give you a simple advice here... Talk to each other... talk to her especially. Let her know that the idea of her going to the clubs, especially when you're not with her doesn't make you feel comfortable so perhaps, you could agree on something or really solve this uncomfortable feelings that you're having once you talk to her. She probably things that it's just alright with you that is why she keeps on doing it. You don't really need to go out with her on clubs. A good suggestion is, plan out some activities that you could do together. For example, my husband and I joins Marathons every Saturdays and Sundays together. Or we sit down and have a good talk before we sleep on a Saturday night and if we don't feel like sleeping yet, we watch some great movies together with some food that I would prepare for both of us. See, it's helping us even save on spending so much on dates and having to go out and at least it's not something usual, compared to going to the Mall, shopping, buying just what you want --- think of something that's not happening everyday of your lives so you'll always have something to look forward to during the weekend or every Wednesdays or Fridays. Being the man, you should at least think of things like this to somewhat spice up your relationship instead of worrying to much of her going to clubs. :-) I hope this helps.
22 Mar 12
that is the same to me,it is not appropriate, you both need to sit down and discuss this issue about your feelings when one does what you don't like,any thing can happen at the club i know because i go to clubs also.