Is it A Sin Asking Help From A Friend By Borrowing Money?

@bing28 (3798)
Philippines
March 22, 2012 8:05pm CST
I valued my friends so much. I consider them my siblings. Once they come to me for help even financial I would wholeheartedly give them and it's joy for me to help. I'm just wondering with few friends whom I ran to for help. If I ask for financial help but of course to be paid the soonest, I'm confident that the said friend consider me to be a trusted and a real friend of her the same way I treated her. Am just wondering why aside from the fact that you were rejected a help, they seem to change how they treated you. They seem to be avoiding you. While when it happened to me to fail in helping a friend, I feel so guilty and so sorry of unable to help her as being a friend she's counting on me. I feel really disappointed when I'm being treated this way. I just think I discovered few friends are not real one. Did experience the same?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@Runite (307)
• United States
23 Mar 12
I wouldn't say it's a sin but it would damage a relationship if too much, too many are borrowed or are paid late or never get paid at all.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
23 Mar 12
this is why i rarely loan out money. i lie and say i don't have it. i pretend that i am broke too and need just as much help as them. if i do (i restate, very rare) then i don't expect to get it back. that way i don't have to be p.o.-ed if i don't get i back.
@sid556 (31000)
• United States
23 Mar 12
I'm exactly like you in my thinking, Moon. I never lend what I can't afford to lose. I always hope for it back but if for whatever reason, I don't get it back then I'm not angry. I do, however, make a little head-note to myself and I would think twice before lending that person money again.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Right Runite if it's too much and paid late or never get paid at all it would damage a relationship. In times however that we're in tough situations we can't avoid thinking of our friends to ran to for help. Maybe if we're capable of lending we can try giving once, a friend who's in need. Thanks Runite for the response...
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
25 Mar 12
Well saying that it is a sin would be a tad bit strong. But there are times where lending money out can really strain a friendship beyond what it is. Some people start wondering if people are friends with them to be friends or just out for a hand out when they get into a tight picture to say the very least. Then there are times where no matter what the reason, when people cannot pay back, whether it is because they choose not to, or things come up, it doesn't matter, the friendship is never the same again. And believe me, I've been burned in the past. To the point where I don't trust loaning money out to anyone. Not friends, not family, not anyone. And I wouldn't ask for money, unless there was absolutely no other choice. It just tends to put strain on the relationship. I can make all of the promises that I were going to repay but there are times where it is just difficult to sometimes repay. It can really cast the friendship in a negative light.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
True maegamart, if really can run to others or do something not to borrow from friends, better do it as it would really partly ruin the friendship. Thanks for the response. Have a good day...
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Correction megamatt...
@meozard22 (872)
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
I didn't experience that but I think in that situation you can assess your friends much better. You will know who really are your true friends
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
True meozard You'll know who's your true friend in times like this. Thanks for the response. Happy mylotting...
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
welcome bing
• Bangalore, India
24 Mar 12
Some of the people value money than any relationships.Though we know them very well, generally they don't show this side of their behaviour.One of my friend is such that he remembers me only when he needs some money.I observed this fact for 3 to 4 years and now I am not too close with him.I thinks that value of any relationship should be kept from both sides.Also we should think about our relationship seriously if other member is not valuing us that much.I know clearly that the relationship which is strong from one side hearts at most and it is very difficult to handle such conditions.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes sachinkukale it's hard if only one side is giving value to the relationship. There are friends who really treated each other like sisters or brothers. That any one who's at need the other one is always ready to give but of course maybe they both came from well to do families or money is not a question when it comes to them. Thanks for the response. Have a nice week.
@bellis716 (4805)
• United States
24 Mar 12
We loaned money to a person we thought was a friend. She repaid the loan with a bad check. It was years before we felt confident enough to loan money to a friend again. This time, I wrote out an agreement stating the amount of the loan and the terms. he signed the agreement. Each time he made a payment, I noted the date and the amount. I added interest and subtracted the payment. He was paid in full within a couple of month a of the agreed time. That friend is still our friend, and we hear from him frequently. The last we heard of the first 'friend" , she was in jail (not our doing). She should have been released several years ago, but she has made no attempt to contact us. As a rule, it is not a good idea to borrow money from friends. Nor should you lend more than you can afford to lose. Not only might you lose money, but usually you'll lose your friend, also.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes bellis it's really not a good idea anyway we learned each other's lesson. Thanks for the response...
@lowyder (282)
• Canada
24 Mar 12
i have learned the very hardest of ways it is not a sin unless said persons rip off the other persons hence not paying back or just being in it for the money"" ..i have to manyy"FREIENDS"" like this and have lost few thousand threw trying to help whether be place over there head or someone just set me up walking home few scenioros of bad karama ...so i hope it is over im done lending mponey i hope all works out try a very close family member mom dad granpa granma n e one loll i uno sorry cant be muich help..
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes lowyder once you did good things you'll be rewarded, It will all works for you to have a very close family. Thank you for the response. Have a good week...
@dazzledlady (1619)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
A true friend would help her/ his friend in need. When it comes to financial assistance like borrowing, I think it is ok for you to borrow from your friend as long as it is very important and not just buying material things. I will also be glad to lend some money to my friends if I have spare to give. And i know my friends would repay me in time if they have money. The thing that I do not like is when someone promise to pay you back at a certain date but he/she never did. Money is hard earn. If you rejected someone borrowing money and then it seems that his/her treatment changed more or less he/she may be ashamed to have asked you for help financially or he/ she thinks that you really do have a spare money to give but you just cant give it to him/ her. But I do believe that if he/she is a true friend, he/she will understand.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Correct dazzledlady, of course we ran to them for help as we're thinking as friends they would surely understand... Thanks for the response
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
23 Mar 12
I don't believe that borrowing Money is a sin,but "Borrowing" money from someone,then never getting around to repaying them or shying away from their contact to avoid the issue of repayment should be considered one.. It goes as a saying.."If you want to know who your true friends are,ask them for Money"!
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
That's new ShepherSpy ha, ask them for Money, to know if they are true friends...Thanks for the response.
@narnia007 (1051)
• India
23 Mar 12
As a friend,when my friend asks me money,I would give him without any hesitance.I would not even ask about it to give it back.But at at the same time,he should be ready to give it back without me asking.That is a smooth of running in friendship as many such friendships break because of money.But when my friend just keeps on asking and never gives me back,that will become a problem.I would not ask him again but I would stop giving him much more money.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Oh yes in return the friend who borrowed money must know when to pay back hereobligation so her kind friend would maintain his trust towards her. Thanks narnia for the response. Happy mylotting.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
Yes, they start looking at you suspiciously, and they try to avoid you. Well, they are not your real friends. I've had friends like that and I am glad to know their true color.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Right Cutie, sometimes disgusting knowing their attitudes but really we're thankful we come to know them better...
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
For me its not a sin.Thats our customs that when we need we borrow or lend to those who have...That means sharing their blessings to anybody.But if u borrow something pls, returned it with many thanks ok?
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes we should be thankful for the help extended to us by our friends. Thanks thelma for the response. Have a good day...
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
23 Mar 12
yes bing i have experienced the same thing , i have some friends who only remember me when they are down but when i was down they were no were to be found .Some times such situations are good because it will help you choose your friends Good friends are not the ones who are with you when you are at your best but those who stick with you when you are at your worst
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Well said Bonding2 Good friends are those who stick with us when we're at our worst. Thanks for the response. Blessings...
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
that's the reason why I always decline a friend of borrowing money from me - instead I gave him a few bucks as a help, without obligation of paying me afterwards. Common reason that friendship became sour are because of debt obligation among friends. My rule never lend money to your friend, love ones, just give him some amount that would be consider as your help to his needs. It's been proven that most of the time at the end you will lost your relationship and you are the bad one.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Oh that's great of you bluepenguin giving some amount as your help to your friends needs. Yes money can cause the end of the friendship. Thanks for the response. Happy myLotting...
@9jbas22 (66)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
When borrowing money from friends, we have to be ready for any disheartening outcome. The chance of going home with the money is less than 50% especially nowadays that the whole world is experiencing economic crisis. Your friends surely have more reasons why they can't lend you than your reasons why you need money.Another thing is that people really have different attitudes toward money matters. We can't expect everybody to act the same we do when money is on the line. But of course there are many proper ways of saying no. In your case aside from the rejection, they treated you as if you committed a sin. What's more depressing is the fact that they are people you considered friends. Anyway, a great consolation from that experience is you discover the true color of your "friends".
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes Jbas people really have different attitudes when it comes to money matters and really a great consolation knowing them more...Thanks for the response. Have a great day...
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
its not a sin but sometimes friends abuse our kindness and be careful of what kind of friends you have.. coz sometimes it really hurt us if we know the truth that they are being friends with us just because they need something from us.. so be careful next time.. choose your friends wisely
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
If they are abusive of their friends kindness that's the time they ruin the friendship. Thanks eylinn for the response. Happy myLotting...
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
When I had a job last year, I've had a friend who contacted me saying he wanted to borrow a few hundred bucks from me because he needed it then, and since I am a very generous person I immediately sent him the money that he neeeded. Now came the time when I no longer have a job and barely in a destitute, I decided to contact him so that I can borrow from him 'in return' (since he wasn't still able to pay me) but unfortunately he's not replying to my text messages, I knew he has some at that time because he's got a really good paying job but despite of my efforts, He really didn't have a conscience to respond. I just then realized how awful to be in a situation like that. I just feel very sorry for these kind of people who doesn't just have a debt of gratitude especially to those who were able to help them when..... they needed help.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Yes asiacevillar there are also people who doesn't have a debt of gratitude that's why maybe there are also people who don't want to help. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the response. Have a nice week.
@asdomencil (4273)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
Asking money from your friends is not a sin. In order for them to be trusted you in this aspect, you must do what you promised when you are going to pay them back. However, this is not the measure of a true friend. A true friend should always there for you in all aspects of life even financial needs. Sometimes, when this issue is being raised between friends, you can already determine who are your real friends. They will not leave you even they don't have money to lend you, still they will support you.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Absolutely asdomencil a true friend should always there for you in all aspects of life even financial needs. They won't leave you and still support you, should they don't have money to lend. Thanks for the response asdomencil, have a good day...
• China
23 Mar 12
Well I heard someone saying that never ask a friend for money, this would hurt friendship. but i don't think so. Everyone would fall into the situation of needing money, and usually we don't tell our parents. Friends are those who willing to help when you are in a plight. If they really concern with you they will give you a hand, or help you with that. But what I want to say is, not all the true friends are willing to lend you money, and not all the people who lend you money are true friends...Friendship should be weighed by other things.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
Right allisoncindy if they are really concern with their friend they would give a hand, but yes we have individual differences. So there are friends maybe who really just don't want to lend money. Thanks Cindy for the reply. Happy myLotting...
• United States
23 Mar 12
I do not think it is good to borrow or lend money to friends or family. The thing is it gets sticky. If some one doesn't pay, or pay fast enough. A person can get annoyed or they may feel guilty and lash out. Relationships are often ruined by money. I believe the old adage is "neither a borrower or lender be"