i am losing my mind

China
March 25, 2012 10:34pm CST
i hate myself for what i have done these days to my love. although he is to blame for being laziness and carelessness in sharing household works, i shouldn't have treated him that roughly and violently. everytime i was in that situation, i was full of anger and disappointment and lost my mind. but everytime after i treated him badly, i felt so guilty and regretful for what i have done. i think the way i treat him is just like the way my mother used to treat me. what i did to him was just what my mother did to me. i know it shouldn't be like this. i want to build a beautiful and harmonious life with my love, but i just cannot control myself. how can i change my temperament and act normally? i need your advice desperately, thank you!
10 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
29 Mar 12
You should ask yourself why you feel so angry. There must be a very good reason for that. What happend (once, in your past) that this anger now pops up. Only if you find that answer you are able to work on it. Hating yourself won't help. Knowing yourself will. And only if you know yourself, if you respect and love yourself your relationship will work. So go dig inside yourself and ask where this anger is coming from. If you find it hard sit down and write down everything that pops up in your mind. No matter what it is, write it down! Sooner or later you will find what it is. I don't think this has to do with your character or temperament since it's clear to me it's overwhelming you too and you do love him.
• China
8 Apr 12
from a long time ago, i have this habit of writing diries. most of it is about sadness and anger...... each time i look back at it, it seems that i can still feel that feeling. i think i am too sensitive, and nowadays i try to write down something happy and beautiful.
@ymike50 (14)
• Canada
29 Mar 12
hey hi i being in the same situation of you n i know how to get out first thing you got to control your self the self control is the only thing you need when u are about to loose your mind think something great something inspire you to feel good n try to control after u control your self you we feel like a man who won something big someone who won to act like i wanted to!!
• China
8 Apr 12
thank you dear, these days i am better
• India
26 Mar 12
Well its about love...and if u were in a very deep relation than you shud talk to him.. And if he really loved u he will surely understand you. After all love is all about understanding..in future u may be full of regret for what you have done. So its better to sort of things as quick as possible.... And are u trying to say that ur mother was always harsh on you?...Well that is the role of mother to guide you...no matter if she need to be cruel in doing so...Ur parents are the one who understand u the best, who care about u the most. Anyways think positive.....
• China
8 Apr 12
always think positive! that's true, thank you so much!
@ChoukseyMK (1055)
• India
26 Mar 12
Hi Venusliu you know the cause of your frustration and angerness. in several occasions anger may be powerful, gets out of control and turns destructive, can lead to problems and then it becomes challenging to manage. it affects profession, health, personal relations, and overall quality of your life. any how you have to control you mind. meditation is best way for controlling all your problems. search net and find the best way doing meditation and practice to develop skill for relaxation. practice deep-breathing exercises. repeat a calming word or phrase such as 'take it easy / all is well'. other proven ways to ease anger include listening music and writing blogs (mylot is also a best)
• China
8 Apr 12
yes, i like mylot out of this reason! thank you!
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
pray to God and ask for His guidance. also think before you talk and when it is the time you can hold your anger count 1,2,3... say nothing and take a deep breath. it is not easy i know but i guess it rooted from your experience with your mother. forgive her if you hadn't then try not to make the same mistake with your partner. you are lucky he is not hurting you for treating him bad. try to talk to him and express your self so it will not piled up to you then explode. open communication is very important in any relationship and you need to respect each other.
• China
8 Apr 12
you are right! thank you!
@obe212003 (2302)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
A sudden burst of anger out of something that makes you angry is quite normal. It is something that we can't seem to control, as releasing your emotion {anger] is far better than keeping it as it may cause heart problems, lol! The important thing is the need for an explanation of such action as a part of your personality and to be able to apologize.
• China
8 Apr 12
thank you for your advice
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
26 Mar 12
When you feel angry and frustrated just breath away 5 or 10 times , that will help you to control your anger , move away from him to another room that will avoid you scream or offend him that much, when you are calm down , talk to him softly and you will see how his actitud will change also, try to tell him how you feel about any situation that is bottering you. Good luck friend , I understand you very well but with anger you will affect your health , try to take things with calm.
• China
8 Apr 12
thank you so much my friend, anger really affects my health, i will try to adjust myself.
• United States
26 Mar 12
try talking more and not getting out of control. life is hard and at times we all lose control. the fact that you know you did wrong makes it better. I would go call him and try to get him to reason with you...
• China
8 Apr 12
i am the kind of remaining silence when facing disagreement or arguing, it's a bad habit and i am sure talking more will help, thank you!
@bhonti (1247)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
I think this is because of your past experience that you are like that you your partner. Just always remember that what you were in the past or what you life was in the past does not have to what you are or what life will be today. You have a chance to change yourself, grab it. I'm sure your husband will be there to support you always.
• China
8 Apr 12
thank you very much!
• India
26 Mar 12
Hi,,there is nothing wrong between you,,it happens but make sure that next time when it comes to you that you are going to take it easy and you try to explain difficulties in your work he will sure understand it,,angry is not a solution for everything. Hope it helped.
• China
30 Mar 12
i learn to take it easy in everything, it's so hard for me. thank you so much!