i just need some advice

@jazzyrae (1747)
United States
April 2, 2012 6:28pm CST
As most of you know i have a boyfriend who i love so much. I know he loves me i want to spend the rest of my life with him- but we have come across a problem i do not know if i can forgive. We both come from abusive familly's and we never want that for our lives. well he dose have a temper he gets it from his dad and when he is mad he just blockes out. Now he naturally is the sweetest guy ever but last night we were in a fight. I thought that he was upset that i did not get all of our bags out of the other truck. wich made me mad he was trying to clear me out a spot in the truck and since i was made i told him i could do it my self- rudly. Theni got my bag from the back of the truck and it knocked down his gun bad wich made him mad because he thought i did it on purpose. So we continued to argue inside of our house. He always blockes the dorways when i am mad and wont let me pass to go into the kitchen. So i pushed passed him and he grabbed my wrist and twisted it around my back and shoved me. Now first i was very mad ran to our room and held the door shut. He shoved it open and it hit me in the head hard. LIke i said i love him and i mean its not like he hit me.... i am just .... I guess asking for advice
1 person likes this
8 responses
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
Okay,fighting is part of us,even in the family,but the things you should do and your partner is to control the anger,because it maybe so hard and dangerous if the anger is the top of your head and do something bad. So if little things happen,slow the anger emotion,and i know if you love each others understanding must be the place in your mind,and heart and peace..
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
2 Apr 12
i think i understand what you are saying. I just hate fighting and it really frusterates me
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
2 Apr 12
how old are you? I think this is very important because you might not be fully ready to be in a relationship like that. It's no t a bad thing to love, just make sure you don't hurt each other, physically and otherwise. When the two of you are mad, it's better you cool off first before talking to each other. That way, maybe you can avoid doing anything rash and irrational.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
2 Apr 12
19 see that is what i like to do but that is what makes him mad... Im just confused right now
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
5 Apr 12
Sorry but you already make excuses for him.. he has a bad temper but he has it from his dad! What a nonsense. Esp. if you come from an abusive family you should know better and not behave in the same way. I suggest you both will join a group for therapy, your bf anger management and find out where the hurts still are. You won't have a future together if you don't do that for yourselves.
@asdomencil (4276)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
Having fight in a relationship is just normal but involving physical fight is not recommended. I think you need to talk to him in a peaceful way, without hurting each other physically. Keep your tempers low. Some said that if hurting each other physically in a relationship is already involved, you must stop that relationship already because it will not bring any good to both of you.
• United States
3 Apr 12
Wow! sucks,this kind of situation..My adivce,if you really really love him is to give him a chance to change himself and his temper problems.Ask him to get anger management help or even go to a counselor were he can talk out his problems and maybe that will help him to release some anger he seems to have...And let him know that this is what you need from him in order to save the relationship because it was not okay to do as he did.. Ive seen this before,friends family...Only one time did I ever see it get better and I believe it was because he did seek help and he bettered himself from it..Every other time It has gotten worse and eventually more often...Either he cares enough to do that for you and your relationship or he doesnt..... And you know one excuse the female usually makes after laying the getting help issue on the line... He has to much pride to go and talk about his problems,and I understand that....That's crap! If he cant do that pride aside.. You deserve WAY better.. Good luck in your relationship.Hope everything turns out okay:)
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
first of all fighting in a relationship is normal as long as no one gets hurt physically. I don't know how to understand women but I understand men (sometimes not most of the times). my tip is talk to him tell him that you didn't mean it and tell him not to hurt you. I don't know what the attitude of your boyfriend either but you should always remember that attitude may or may not be affected by the person he/she is with, family members, circles, friends, culture, and etc.
• Philippines
3 Apr 12
I think it's not a good idea to heart a woman, since I'm a man I probably wont do it to my partner. My advice is just break up with him, yes you said that you love him so much, his your world, but it's not the end for, there many good people out there. If you would do my advice you'll surely go to depression, the left wounds is not that easy to heal, but in time it will and you will realize the that might happen to you if you stick to him, don't make your so much loving to him an excuse. Just let your self explore others life, for sure you will find the right one for you in the right time. His not the only man in the world, but all I said is just an advice, the decision still lies in you. Make up your mind, I don't wanna scare you but what if accidentally he hurts you again and be disabled?, or worst got killed. Hope you'll find the solution to your problem.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
3 Apr 12
are u alright tho? i dont care who he is or what. my father was abusive to me and so were our bro. my mom watched while my brother beat me till i couldn't move...it was just horible. but we're not going to talk about me..its about u! i guess what im trying to say is get help. not just for u but for the both of u. i u love him the way u tell it, then get help. but dont do it behind back. talk to him. sit down when u are both calm and not mad and have this talk with him. be like i love u. u r my life or whatever and say something like i understand where u come from(from abusive families and such)but i refuse to live like my parents. i want to get us both help so we can overcome this together!