We are doing the right thing anyway...

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I have taken people in and helped people out in various ways also and I will tell you that more than not, these people do NOT appreciate. In fact, once they catch on to how kind you are, they will take full advantage of it. My friend, Don, just got rid of a guy that is much the same as the one you describe. This guy came to live with him for a month. Two years later, the guy was still there and had not contributed much of anything even when he found work. His work never lasted long and he got back into the drinking. He created messes and never lifted a finger to help. Don finally got sick of it and gave him 1 week to get out. He is now living in a homeless shelter and furious at my friend. Not all people are like this. I have helped people who have been very appreciative and they also will be ones that would go out and help others. Those people are the reason why I would not let it get to me to the point that I don't want to help others. I have gotten so that someone like your husbands friend would be out much quicker. The way I see it is that for every bit of toilet paper that guy uses, the water, the electricity, soap, food , etc etc etc...he is taking that much away from your children. It's one thing to help someone get back on their feet. You have done that and I think you are showing your kids a great example. Now that he is working, he should be helping you out and saving to get his own place. If he had no money to help you with something like toilet paper, my guess is that he is not saving to move. I hope you don't have a permanent house guest.

It is nice to help people out. But, rules need to be set when you do such things. Such as once you start getting paid, you need to help out with paying for food and supplies, etc., until you get your own place. This all should be in writing. Now that he has a job, he can start looking for a place to live. I am sure it will take sometime before he has enough money to be able to afford rent, etc. He need to be told that he needs to help out that you all are having a difficult time to and every bit helps. With and extra mouth to feeds and an extra person using all the household supplies, that the supplies do not last as long as they use to. If you let him get away with not helping out, then he will just take advantage of you and your husband.

hi lovingmybabies I wo uld not either if someone were helping me unless he sort of blew what he made out of proportion and did not have the money actually.Oh God will help as did not Jesus say that that you do for others you do so for m e too something like that anyway.good deeds will always come back two fold. surely the guy cou ld have sprung for one of the cheapie brands u nless he r eally did not make what h e said h e did.

If someone who allowed me to stay with them free of charge while I got on my feet asked me for a few bucks for toilet paper I would buy them the biggest pack I could afford to. I guess he could have been bragging, it could be he feels greed because he hasn't had money in awhile, who is to say, but I hope he does do something to show his appreciation, monetarily or not.

It is sad but I hear of this so often. I think it tends to make the giver not want to anymore after awhile. I have gotten to the point where I don't want to be around people much. Online is not a problem. Hopefully people like this guy are not what you always come across.

Well, it could be that he got paid and is trying to save money to get a place or that he is just plain selfish. My opinion is that he is selfish and is lying about not having a few dollars. I think that maybe he should find his own place and not lean on you guys.

I wouldn't do that either. But I do know many people who are ungrateful. I've learnt not to get angry....especially because we help not expecting anything in return. It's sad that they guy did that to you.

There's the door.....that's what I would say. Everyone should return a favor and if you have given him a place to stay etc he should be helping back....he could have spared a few bucks....people are funny that way....pretty much all for themselves.

I think it's kind of lousy that you went out of your way to help someone who was HOMELESS and unemployed and this is how he repays you for your kindness. Keep in mind I have not read any of the other responses yet but honestly? That's like taking a gift and pissing on it. People should appreciate help and appreciate each other. It's tough to want to continue to help people when they don't appreciate or thank you or do what they can to help you when the roles are reversed.

I don't know why he would brag if he is living off of you for free... I mean, kudos to you guys for helping out someone in need. But just don't let him take advantage of you, don't let him cross that line. Some people are like that - you just have to be careful. My mom often times opens up her home to others 'in need' and it turns out they milk her for all she's got. But she just wants to help out and I know she doesn't do it for any other reason. But there comes a point where you have to think about yourself and what's best for you, too. Best of luck with the situation...

I think that the guy should have helped you out with at least buying toilet paper. It is not even that much money to buy toilet paper. So...I don't know. I would have helped out if I were in that situation and someone was helping me until I got on my feet and once I got on my feet I would help them out in any way. I know of this homeless guy from my husband which is mainly his friend and we always would help him out with a few dollars every now and then and give him food or whatever. He does side jobs every now and then and gets a lot of money, but when we are in a bind we would ask him to help us but he says he can't but supposedly he has money. Sometimes when I come across people like that or I know someone like that it makes me not want to help them anymore. But we like you and your husband like to help people out when they need it and we always wind up helping him anyway.

I think that you had every right to be bothered as you went out of your way to help him, and yet he couldn't spare a few bucks to help you. But like you say/wrote, I think that it's enough that you're doing the right thing. If after all this he still didn't want to help you out, then it's his problem. He shouldn't expect helm from others when he can't even do the same thing.

i've only read this after the discussion where you have kicked him out by now! but either way i'm glad you did! this is a disgrace! this man was using your home, your appliances, your facilities, and probably your toilet roll!! so the very least he could have done was chip in! disgraceful human being!

Hello LovingMyBabies. It is very nice what you did for him. I was in a similar situation a few months ago. My ex and I were living in our car. Then a lady friend at work took us in for a short while. It didnt work out too well, but, It was nice to have that kind of person come up and want to do something for others. I had a job and paid what I could. I know it may have been wrong for him to not give something for toilet paper, because I would have done it no questions asked. I think it was more of the fear of loss for him. The reason I say this is because I remember being in prison, and the guards would always want to go through everything. It made me feel like I was worthless. I would get something from commissary, and be very possessive of it. It was something I had earned, and those guards could not take it away. I also felt like that when I was homeless. When I would get $50, I held on to it like it was my life. I know it sounds odd, but it is like you have found something that no one can take away. Or maybe he is just selfish... I know one thing, even if I am strapped, I will give something. I feel like a jerk when I dont help. Have a great day...and I hope he helps in the future.

I think that some people will mistake kindness for foolishness and will take advantage. It doesn't really help you and certainly not this guy. If someone is living outside and has no home, it doesn't have to be that way. He proved this as he found a job for himself. To help him and yourself, it is better to insist that he leaves your house and stands on his own two feet. Helping is not always giving. A teacher helps his student by making him do the work himself, not by doing it for him or helping him every inch of the way. He has to find his own answers if ever he is to learn anything. Life is a lesson and each of us need to learn how to deal with life ourselves. If others help us too much, it can make us mean in spirit and lack respect for ourselves and others. As a Zen practitioner, I don't really give advice, but can only share what I feel to be right. That may not be right at all. In Zen we can only keep questioning our inner selves, and often we need great strength to do the right thing, as life in our body and mind, can become very complicated.. good luck with your dilemma... _Derek

This guy seems to be an ungrateful person.It is always risky to let a stranger live in your house.He may have worked for your husband years ago but you can never tell how he may behave.Its best that both of you ask him to leave your house and look elsewhere to stay.Personally i would never allow someone unknown or even a little known to me to stay in my house,whatever he may be going through.Such people start taking advantage of your softheartedness once they find out about your nature.Get rid of him fast.

Just remember that God does see all your good work and kindness. You do things not for public recognition but for the Lords. I know that it is hard when you do your best to help someone and they show no signs of appreciation, sorry to say but that is the way of world these days. We live in a "me" society, people are only worried about themselves. Even though you have put yourself in an extra financial bind helping this person out, I feel that the Lord will make sure you are provided for.

You have a large heart lady, I give that to you any day! Being in difficulties and helping a needy man, even then, is the kindest thing a human can do! What happened afterwards is ironical and maybe even thankless and uncaring. Some people have no sense of gratitude. But then, its okay, because when you set out to help him, you expected no return, as he had no means. Let your memory of this incident stop at that. Then there is something that may actually offend you, for which I apologize in advance. If you put yourself in his shoes, it will make his actions very understandable, even forgivable. He was on the way to becoming a bum, you took him in and he got a job, which means getting paid. It is a matter of imagination as to when he had some hard cash on his hands, and whatever he has is very valuable for him. The opportunity of lending is for him a step away from security, however temporary. So he chose to lie and deny your husband's request. Not many of the people are generous or even helping when it means money, he is just one of them.

It's nice of you to help this guy , we also helped a friend that had been evicted from his apartment. He got a job working in the same place as my husband but after a few months people starting get laid off. My husband was one of the first although he'd worked there longer than our friend and he kept on working but he was good enough to help us out financially for awhile. Then my husband and him started arguing and didn't get along anymore , so our friend up and left one day without a word. Sometimes when you help someone you don't get anything in return, that is the way it is sometimes, I guess.

That's very nice of you, to help others. Not many people do that in our days. I understand why it bothered you, and it wasn't very nice of him. Sometimes people don't really get how helping others works. Maybe he was just to scared to let go of some money because he was poor for such a long time. Maybe that feeling got under his skin and it made him a little greedy. But don't feel sad. Be happy you could find it in your heart to help him. I'm really glad people still think and act like you do.