My colleague's mother say something bad to me

@Archaiwy (599)
China
April 5, 2012 9:01pm CST
Yesterday, i went to church.On the way to it, my colleague's mother told of her daughter.she blamed for what i did the day before yesterday. Things happend like this. The students were going to have a medical checkup for the state examination, but they didn't the exact time to go . So while they were waiting for the checkup, thay had lessons as usual. According to the timetable, i would have my lesson at 10:10. At 10:00 ,The students would have a ten-minute break. But when i went to the classroom, my colleague still had her own lessons. Thinking of delaying class was her practice, i was angry,and i push the door open,saying in a loud voice " you should end your lesson." After it i learned from the students that they would go at 10:30.Seeing there was less than 20 minutes left including the break time. i am so angry that i left the classroom. Although i was angry ,i forgot after i went home that day.But yesterday, my colleague's mother blamed me for that saying i bullied her daughter.After i heard that her daughter did that as the head teacher told her , i said i didn't know that and there was a misunderstanding between her daughter and me , i would explain it to her daughter about this the following day. I thought the mother would end here but she insisted that i bullied her daughter without stopping.i couldn't bear it, and i told her daughter delayed her lesson to the next one for many times and didn't say anything any longer. mylotters, is what i did right?
5 responses
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
6 Apr 12
Hi Archaiwy. The way I look at how you presented what has happened, I can say that there is a small mistake on your part. Although the motive is for the benefit of the students, you must be misinterpreted by your colleague that's why she reacted that way. Maybe we should be very careful on how we say or act on things specially that it involves other people. Shouting at someone else in front of several people might not be a very good attitude. Without explanation, if you see somebody in this situation or a scene like this, what would you think? So, as an advice maybe you should apologize personally on the daughter of your mom's friend and explain to her everything. By doing this, you will not only save your relationship as friend and that of your mom and her friend.
@Archaiwy (599)
• China
6 Apr 12
Yes.I am kind of excited and bold. I am regretful .i am blaming myself for that. I made up my mind that from now on i should not do like that.I should be careful with everything and not get excited so easily.
• United States
6 Apr 12
Since I was not there and am not fully aware of all the particulars I cannot really say if you were right or wrong specifically. I think you did what you felt was right for the girls at that moment. Especially since the other lady tends to hold them late so much of the time. However, if they had been late to their appointment - if it was her fault it would have been on her and not you. She is the one being lax in her responsibilities from what little I know about the situation.
@Archaiwy (599)
• China
6 Apr 12
in fact there was nothing serious between my colleague and me . At the beginning of the talk with her mother i knew there was a misunderstanding so i told her mother i would explain to her daughter.But her mother kept on blaming me, a about which i was angry.And now i understand that every mother loves her child.The reason why she did that was just because she loved her child.She didn't let her child was harmed for any reasons whether they were ture or not .Now i am not angry at all.
• Canada
6 Apr 12
I think that the way you handled this situation was not the best way. You should not have confronted your collegue teacher in front of her students. This was a very wrong approach, she must have felt embarrased and humiliated to be shouted at by her own collegue in front of students. I can understand that your intention wasn't such but others can't see your intentions but they saw you behavior and how you reacted. If you had wanted to confront her about something, do it in private and make her understand that way and not in front of so many people. So, I think her mother's anger is somewhat justified...
• United States
6 Apr 12
It is hard when there are so many details that have to fall into place and they don't end up happening. I would advise in the future to keep a cool head while going into the classroom if there is a misunderstanding with time and instead say something along the lines of "Am I mistaken, that this class was supposed to end at 10?" This way, the child is scared by someone bursting in the door and yelling at their teacher. It does not sound like it is your fault, but people do respond better to kindness than anger. Even if you don't feel like apologizing, I think I would to the parent and then to the daughter. It will help keep up your reputation, rather than destroy it.
@jkct02 (2859)
• Malaysia
6 Apr 12
I always feel that confrontation is not the best way to solve a problem if there are other softer ways. To shout at a fellow teacher in front of the class is not good. It was a bad example for the students. Even though your colleague had delayed her class before, a sincere talk in private would have been more effective in solving that problem, rather than leaving a bad taste in the mouth but the problem still remains. We all have weaknesses. Your colleague's may have been her time management. Yours may be the control of your emotions. If you feel that you tend to do something in the spur of the moment, and then feel regrets afterwards, maybe you would like to remind yourself to stay cool when you meet with infuriating situations. It is always better to remain silent than to say something that hurts. The fact that you could share this experience and express your remorse here shows the good personality in you. I have to applaud you for that. I am sure a sincere apology and a heart-to-heart talk will solve the misunderstanding and restore the good relationship you have with your colleague.