Trusting Others

@ARIES1973 (9535)
Legaspi, Philippines
April 7, 2012 11:33pm CST
It's really hard for me to give my trust to anyone. Even my friends. This is due to some not so good experiences that I've had with my old friends. Although I make friends with anybody around, yet I just don't give my trust to the fullest. I always set certain limitations. Most especially when it comes to financial matters. I used to be open when it comes to friendship. Money was never an issue as long as I have something to give. Until one day, this friend of mine never showed up again after borrowing my camera, jewelries and cash. She did borrowed it one at a time. But the world is so small, I have seen her and confronted her in front of many people. She said she pawned those things because she needed the money. I didn't recovered my things. This thing happened to me twice. So after those incidents, I decided not to trust anybody too much. Still, there are instances that I am in doubt if I am really doing the right thing.
13 responses
@Daisy_22 (1230)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
I can't blame you doing such things for you are already victimize not only once but already twice.Trust needs years to be earned but it can be destroyed by just a mere seconds of time. That's the line that I let my friends know about me.I told them how good I am for those who are good but don't they ever tried me.I'm a kind of person that keeps on giving without expecting any in return. As far as today, I haven't experience anything like your's and I'm hoping not to have that kind of experience.
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Actually, people see me as a very kind person. Many are trying to take advantage of this and I won't let it this time.
@kaeirole (669)
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
for me, it's better not to trust anybody easily..even friends lie.. i also don't trust anybody easily..not because of experiences like yours..and i don't like to reminisce about it..
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Yes we should not. We should always be careful.
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
When things as painful and disconcerting as these happen to our lives, we have the tendency to shrink back and close our doors to friendships because we think that the negative experiences we have with people we love dearly in the past are bound to happen with the new friends and relationships we enter into. Well, I understand your frustrations and suspicions on the motives of others after what you have gone through. But unless we let go of all these doubts and uncertainties and look at life in a brighter perspective, things are not going to flow smoothly, even with the new friendships that you establish with others. People make mistakes, and yes, even grave ones that cause us so much hurt and sadness. But we are all imperfect and, at some point in our lives, we give in to our weaknesses and hurt other people, maybe not in the same level or degree of weaknesses that others have, but we do hurt other people too, willfully or unconsciously at that. So at the end of the day, it is still for our betterment to give others a measure of trust even if, at the end of it all, that trust may be broken. As they say, it is better to have loved than none at all. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Thank for the comprehensive discussion. In some point you are right.
@bhonti (1247)
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
You find it difficult to trust anybody probably because of your past experiences. Please try your hard to trust even your closest friends, because that is what you also want from them right? You like also to be trusted. Its okay to put even a little trust to some of your friends.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Thank you bhonti. I appreciate your comment and suggestion.
• China
8 Apr 12
there are various birds in a wild jungle. so in order to not to be cheated ,you should sweep your eyes and make a careful look at things or people you want to trust.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Thank you for sharing you opinion conquer.
• United States
8 Apr 12
Hello Aries1973 , I can relate to you ! I am a nice person , If I have something I will share . Sometimes people are greedy . They want , and want and want until you say no . I have ecperienced this with this lady who would always ask can she borrow this or borrow that, it was all good until one day I finally realized that I was being used..I started saying no at this point , and to be honest it felt good to say no . Til this day I cant trust people . People are so messy and inconsiderate ....she's not your friend clearly...
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Yes, other people should also consider our feelings and not what they can get from us. Anyway, at least we have learned our lesson.
@SarahAlyx (181)
• United States
8 Apr 12
There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself after you have already been used for your things, time, and money. It's okay not to trust people, not everybody but many people are decietful people that will use you for everything they can get out of you. Being a nice person, you seem to attract the type of people that want to walk all over you. I know the feeling all too well. You are doing the right thing but trusting yourself and your insticts.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Yes. This is true. Thank you for the great response!
@06MLam (622)
8 Apr 12
I don't trust most people as well because you never know when they will betray you. Most commonly, people help each other and this is still kind of being selfish in my eyes as people still want some benefits from you after helping you. This is fine with me but these people are not considered to be my true friends. People who betray me are definitely enemies. Therefore, I usually choose friends very carefully, including considering what people they are contacting most and what sort of bad habit they have and how they are treating me. Though it seems a bit too much, I keep an eye on my friends regularly to observe how they have treated me over the past. Hence, I only consider a few of my "friends" to be my true friends.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Apr 12
TRUST--"reliance on people or entity",and so is it defined.Well okay,You know what,you're not wrong at all.You can't trust everyone.You can love all of them, but trust only a few is what i always say to people,that's because people in world are like this.They're not trustworthy,ie,worth enough trusting. It's not that i ask you to completely avoid them all.You can not live like a king,a solo one,in this world,you will need everyone's help.But trust to some extent,and be sure you never can give your things out of trust to someone.And when it comes to friendship,you can trust,again not much.I say this because,i've an instance.You scold one of your friends to another friend asking him not to tell that particular pal that you scolded him,or out of anxiety,you scold.or whatever maybe the reason,when it comes out to be a fight between you and the friend to whom you had told everything,he goes and tells the other friend that you've scolded her so much that day,and there you dont have friendship with two instead of one. Walls have ears even,says my mom,atleast i agree with it.Okay so it is funny,but it is true.Even your neighbour can hear you and tell about you to others. Well it's just a saying! I don't know how far it is true.There are people who you can trust,maybe those people are rarely found in this world,or atleast,i don't know so and so people living.So just stay calm,cool and you're doing nothing wrong! It's just your way and you go by it.It's just my way so i told whatever i felt.Good day aries!Well that is my first participation in a discussion. :)
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jul 12
Human beings are generally not consistent in their character; they change with regard to the emotional state that they are in. It is therefore advisable to trust everyone with caution so that it won’t come as a shock to you when they let you down. It is kind of tricky to lend money to friends because if they don’t pay up it puts a strain on the relationship.
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Yes I am applying that idea though I make friends with anybody around. It's just that I would just put some boundary so as not to be victimized again. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this matter.
• Philippines
8 Apr 12
ohh..so sad,especially if the one doing that is close to your heart, a friend for example.But there are really some instances in life that we really need to have money..your friend's mistake is that she didn't tell you that she needed money and pawned the things that she borrowed without your knowledge.But don't close your door in trusting someone,just choose someone to trust. :)
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
8 Apr 12
Thank you greenheart. You are right in some way. I should not put the blame to everybody because of the things other people have done. But I will just more careful this time.
@Lucas818 (378)
8 Apr 12
Apparently, you are doing the right thing, I would say. You trusted others but you ended up with some miserable issues. Nowadays, the society has changed, so as the people. I had been through where some people keep on taking advantage on me. I think you're right that not to give your trust to the fullest.
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Thank you for that response lucas. Yet this should not be a reason for us to keep on moving. There are also other people who are good yet the only thing we should do is to be more careful.
@Mashnn (4503)
8 Apr 12
I had the same kind of experience sometimes back. My friend stole money from my purse. I learned the hard way not to trust friends and up to this time, I do not have any friend that I fully trust.
@ARIES1973 (9535)
• Legaspi, Philippines
22 Jul 12
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Everyday we learn new lessons from this life. It will make us stronger.