I don't want to start a family

Philippines
April 19, 2012 3:13pm CST
heck, I've been through hell when taking care of my brother's children. sometimes, i can't imagine myself anymore when it comes to taking care of their kids. i wonder what more if it's my own kid? i am not ready for such. i guess some people bored to death simply because they are more into falling in love and making babies with no apparent plans. now my siblins did that and now there isn't a day where their money goes in their childrens school and expenses.
5 people like this
28 responses
• Portugal
19 Apr 12
ry sure children give a lot of work but they are wonderful^^ when you find a girl to be your gf you will want kids with her i guess.then you will see that your money is worth spent on them bcs they will love you and care for you^^ i dont have kids also but i guess i will want at least one kid^^ besides as you get older you will feel the need to start a family. im only 21 but i already wish i had a bf and could at least make plans for the future^^ its good not to be on your own and share your life good and bad times with someone^^
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Sweetloveforever, they are wonderful indeed but very hard to manage unless you are strict. my brother tried not to and they ended up being and looking spoiled.maybe i will find and have a girl if am ready, both financial and maturely.you gotta make sure that person is something that you're and comfortable with. you're still young and you can have one when you're ready
• United States
19 Apr 12
Making a family is a big responsbility that people fall into too quickly and don't realize the huge time and money constraints it can have on them. It is good that you are planning ahead and know what your thoughts are on having a family. It is too bad that your brother has learned the hard way, and the children in return are being affected by it as well. I hope you family finds some peace and money, for that matter.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello rewardsinlife, Yeah a lot of people are, they think they can just start a family and then things will work out from there. No, it's not, some people do work it out but there's always the struggles, and one of those struggles is budget and how you manage time to spend it together. peace is first priority than money
@rusty2rusty (6769)
• Defiance, Ohio
21 Apr 12
I have always wanted a family and children. I was lucky enough to have three kids. One out on his own. Two more to go. I don't regret any of it. However I am glad I am done having children. I am past that stage in my life. I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend who excepts my children as his own because he can not have any of his own.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello rusty2rusty, thats good enough for you got the dream that you wanted. wow, that's good to know that you have a boyfriend that accepts your kids and loves them the way he loves you. so, things didn't work out with the child dad's hun? there are better guys for and am sure this boyfriend of yours is one of them
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
21 Apr 12
Yes, I got the dream I wanted. It has turned out the way I planned. That is for sure. Yes, I am very proud of my boyfriend. I am very lucky to have him. Oh no things didn't work out with the kids father. He is my now estrange husband. We have been separated since Oct 2009 when he hauled the kids and me to Ohio where my family lives. We were living in Florida at the time. He still does. Says he was sending us to family cause he was having troubles at work. But come to find out he moved another chic in shortly after moving me up north. He is a deadbeat dad. Really half a deadbeat, as he does pay half the support he has been court ordered to do so. He hasn't seen the kids since Feb. 2010.
• United States
20 Apr 12
Hi. Hey don't worry about it--you're ok. Some people are meant for kids and some aren't and you're smart enough to realize it now. I'm not saying don't have any ever--you just need more time. You'll know when the time is right. :-)
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Cricket127, thank you am glad some one advised me not to worry about it yet though. well, I wouldn't know, i don't know my own future or my destiny to boot, i can't predict my future just yet. besides, i don't think i'll ever find out just yet though, i wish i could some day. thank you
• United States
22 Apr 12
Hi! Sure not a problem. :-) Some just want a family early and some choose to wait. I know that I chose to wait and I am glad I did. If you want to know for certain, can you volunteer somewhere and see if you are really meant for kids and/or pets? I know you didn't mention it but some people take in pets and grow just as close to pets as they would kids. Just and idea. :-)
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
20 Apr 12
well having children is a part of human cycle where a man is born then when he grows up and finish schooling will work and then marry a woman and have kids then grow old and the kids will become grown ups and starts another cycle of life...but still its you choice if you dont wanted to have kids and just fall in love and more love makings lol....
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Johndur, indeed having children is part of the human cycle but a lot of people are doing it now a days. I am not sure though right if i want to make that decision, love making should always connected with relationship, marriage and pro creation. anything excluded is obviously with out a purpose
1 person likes this
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
23 Apr 12
that is very true...well maybe its not yet time for you fall in love and live a married life so enjoy it while your still single...
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
Someday, you are going to have a family of your own. But you must ready and prepared to take the responsibility. Being a husband, you have to help with your wife shoulder the expenses in the house and everyday of your lives. Being a father, you should raise your children well and teach good morals and right conduct.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello jvincent, I don't know really about this being responsible and doing my best to be a good parent. when that time comes, no more being on just myself alone and my life is literally not my own anymore.as for good morals and conduct, maybe i will do my best to improve first and my life before i can settle, but not now. have a nice day
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
To raise a child with good morals and right conduct, you must also have those qualities. So that your children can look up to you as a good model and a good father.
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
20 Apr 12
That is what it is to be a parent giving what you do with your life to your children other wise they will just walk all over people. They won't eat, they wouldn't have food having kids doesn't mean you just hand them over to someone else and they do all the work for you. Its not easy. Some people want to be parents and others don't. You don't have to plan out having kids to know what its going to be like as a parent or to be a good parent. That is life you either grow up and become a parent or you don't. Everything then will just be about what ever else you want to be. Weather its yourself or someone else that you love. Yes all of mine and my husbands money goes to our kids one because they are babies and babies can't take care of themselves. They can't get a job, they can't talk they can't do much of anything they would just die if I and my husband wasn't around. I'm sure a family member would take them in but if we did and there was no foster care or adoption they would just die. Kids need parents or a parent to live and learn form.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Shybear88, maybe it's not in my head now because of the past experience with my nephews, it's not a play thing or a hobby which you can get tired of, it's a life commitment. this isn't what i had in mind as of the moment though am somewhat aware on what's like to be a parent, but something i lack so that's why i don't want to have one, and that is "more maturity" and preparedness. maybe some day. thanks
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Well taking care of someone else kids is a lot different then your own. Because well you can give them back at the end of the day or a few days. Its totally different with your own. Even though you can't get ride of them you never really know whats it like till you are a parent. You don't need to be to have more maturity there are plenty of parents that are not but they are still good parents. I wasn't prepared for either of my pregnancy but that doesn't mean I'm not a good mom. I do what I do best with my babies. Some times children make you a better person because you have them. That is why it takes 40 so weeks to have a baby so you can think about what will be best for that baby weather its with you or someone else. You can never prepare to be a parent to a child its impossible even the people that are the most mature and have waited for the right time in there life where they have everything. I'm 23 and soon to be a mother of 2 little ones. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I do agree that being a parent isn't for everyone and nobody can make someone be a parent if they do not want to be a parent. its a choice that every person makes. If they want to do it or not. You never know like you said maybe one day you will when your a bit older and more ready or maybe no. Either way if you happy that is what matters.
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
21 Apr 12
Hello LK, I have a family having 2 beautiful kids.I knew it one should marry only when he is confirmed that he would be able to take care of family financially otherwise there is no need to start a family and that's why i married when assured it.I have seen lot of cases that people alone could not earn enough to get food for 2 times/day but they marry and have kids ultimately making theirs and the kids life a hell.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello sjvg, I don't want my future kid to live a life where I am not ready to be a parent. though, it's nice to have some one of your own, i know that it's not easy and you have to compromise. don't worry, you'll be alright here and since you got two of these song and they can be your cheerleaders when you're depressed
@savypat (20246)
• United States
20 Apr 12
If you don't want to start a family, then don't. Far to many people go into this with blind eyes and then it turns into a life of stress and misery for everyone. There are plenty of ways to contribute to this world and make your mark without doing something that will make you unhappy. I commend you for being honest with yourself and setting your own course.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello savypat, well, the great wedding i believe is the start of a new life both happiness and misery. I m kinda happy most of the time, i really don't want to be the kind of situation where you only want to have a wife and kids just to be happy i think i need to be a happy person first before i can get married or something
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
I can imagine myself taking care of my future nieces and nephews but I really have a hard time imaging that I will bear a child and take care of a child until it is 'mature' enough. I don't think I will even get the 'bearing the child' part. I really don't know and I don't want to pre-emp anything but I have seen the hard life of modern parents. Kids love to have many things and sometimes, they are left unsupervised because both parents have to work. I can even bet that there will be great misunderstanding between me and my future child or children. But I'm not counting any chicks at the moment. I'll enjoy my single-blessedness first. More years to come before I will ever be in that situation.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Jeanneyvonne, I am single and even though i am sad as of the moment in the long run am blessed for being single. because the commitment of being a father is never easy but if you are at the right mature moment, then you will find it enjoyable. besides, a lot are getting married i don't know if i can really put myself into a married situation. have a nice day
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
hi LK, I think you will be a good family man Maybe it's not yet your time to have your own but if you find your Damsel I doubt if you will still say that. I lost counting how many nieces and nephews grew up with me there was lot of them and until today they are still my babies and it feels good taking care of them like my own. happy mylotting miss yah
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Bhabycatch, well, that's what you think hahaha (joke). that depends on the situation if ever happen to have some one who would love me.besides, what's to look for now since it's scaring too for me still. well, my niece and nephews are still kids, i wish they can do better than their parents did knowing they are all intelligent
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
that is why you should really be prepared when you get married. you should be emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready so that you will not face too many difficulties especially with money. it is hard when you have kids and you earn less. you need to feed your kids in time and provide them with all the things they need and ofcourse you want the best for them. it will be so painful for parents who cannot provide their kids food, clothes and others.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello shylade I don't know when is that gonna happen though, and i know for now how hard to have kids. but probably i would do improve myself first so that i would not be able to feel hard in being a future parent. well, in my situation right now, it's not a good idea to have kids at all.have a nice day
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
Hi Letran, then if that is what is on your mind right now, then listen to it first as you never know it might change. you see, i do agree that almost all expenses goes to them, tuition, milk, diaper..etc but you are, it is all worth it. When it is your kids it is different, there is that sense of LOVE that you know you will give them everything. Just do not rush.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Jazel_juan, Well, that's probably sums it up, unfortunately I am not surely for it right now. it scares me some how but i may not be able to be consistent on being a future dad. but that's not on my concern for now though. the fact that you're life is not your own ones you are parent is something am not into now. i won't rush, maybe some day time will come though. have a nice day
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
well i want to start my own family too but i still have a lot more priorities right now. i would love to be stable and earn more than enough so i can live a happy life too and give my children a better life.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Cherish14, yeah we all have priorities now than just living a life and getting married. but my life isn't stable right now so i will do my best to be stable before i could start thinkin of settling down . have a nice day and good luck with your plans there
@toniganzon (50001)
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
Last night I was discussing with a Romanian friend about marriage. He told me that there's no man in the world that doesn't wish to get married but I told him otherwise. I told him each person is different. Some longs to be married while others don't. He said he hasn't met that person yet. Well maybe i should introduce him to you.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello toniganzon, hahaha i don't think guys are my perspective lolz i am straight after hahahawhile reading this response i thought you were preferring to a woman, or maybe a typo mistake? lolz. or maybe you thought am a woman? haha. well, am still not interested in marriage, i need to make most of my life and have security before i could think about that.have a nice day
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
20 Apr 12
I can't imagine having a family yet. I'm 22 and I'm positive I'm too immature to be a mother. I don't know if this feeling is going to change in me, but as of today, I'd be a bad mother. I'm impatient, I don't really speak children's language, I don't know how to educate them...
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello doroffee, some people in my country get's married lesser than your age and it's really hard to believe they just in there to start a family with out preparation. Any one who is not ready for parenthood can lead to obvious bad parenting. being a parent is something that people are prepared for. same here, discipline and education would be hard with all the influences of the world.. have a nice day
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
I have been taking care of my nieces til now. And to tell you, my sister has another baby to take care of. It means i need to take care of them too. Gosh, now I want to get married and make my own family because I think that I am ready to have one since my sister is always giving me some problems. I want to take care of my own children. I feel like it is unfair because my sister is not thinking about me. But then, there will be a time that you want to have your own family.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Tess_quinain, I don't know really why I feel this way, when I was a kid i used to be the most loving person in the family that ended up being taking and focus on myself. it seems that you're a family type person, of course, one of the things that completes a woman is having a child of their own.have a nice day and best wishes.
• Calgary, Alberta
19 Apr 12
I want to start a family but not in this country, let me migrate to Finland or something first then I can reproduce... My plan is to get Job opportunities in Australia and once I have enough money, I will immigrate to Finland. I just think its the best place to raise a family cos of its healthcare system and educational system which is number one in the world.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello CaptainAlbert, wow, you want to go to Australia and then permanently stay and move to finland? i see no one a lot of people go abroad and prefers to settle their lives and family that way. yeah, education and healthcare aren't good enough here any more compare to other countries. have a nice day
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
19 Apr 12
Dear friend, just to answer your question. Just reading the title, I also believe I never put a family. Even with the problems I have, I know this is sad, but I think that when I no longer have parents, will spend the rest of my life in a psychiatric clinic. I base is now 10 years I expect to end up like that. If this serves to consular, you should know that after all I'm happy that way.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello alberello, wow, i can't believe i heard that from you, there must be some problems that you haven't into solving. maybe but i hope i don't end up there too you know. i don't think i was born just to end up in a psychiatric clinic unless i am becoming incapable lliving in the society. besides, it's not in my head to start a family yet. have a nice day
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Apr 12
hi letran theres an old saying fools rush in where angels fear to tread not that I am saying marrying and having children without any plans or thoughts as how to afford a family and all that goes into raising children is really foolish but more unwise. better to plan ahead and use birth control and never bite off more responsibility than you can handle.Just because a man or woman's friends are all rushing to get married does not mean a man or woman who is not quite ready for all the responsibilities has to rush into marriage. best to plan ahead first.Those who do plan ahead have happier families and less strife among the family members.
• Philippines
21 Apr 12
Hello Hatley, Some people work it out when they rush in, as long as they are in love and knows what to do. bu this is different times and it's no longer that good of an issue now because of the financial burdeen that people experience now a days.well, a lot of people plans ahead now compare before and that's why they are even more successful.