Why do I keep dreaming about an old high school crush???

@much2say (22274)
United States
April 21, 2012 12:15pm CST
In high school, I used to like this guy whom I thought was hot stuff. I obsessed over him for the whole 3 years I went to high school - but nothing came of it - not even friendship. We were in a lot of honors classes together, but we never truly got to know each other. He wasn't popular, though he was on the basketball team . . . he was kind of quiet and now that I think of it he didn't have much of a personality. So why did I like this guy? Looking back I don't know what I was thinking. But certainly I had a major crush on him !! High school for me was over 25 years ago. Even though now I'm happily married to the love of my life and we have 2 kids together, I STILL dream of this crush. It's always about me trying to impress this guy (like I used to) in indirect ways, scheming to cross his path, but like in real life it doesn't get anywhere. And I dream about him in this way often. So what is the point of all this? Why after all these years, I'm still dreaming about some dude who could care less about me?
4 people like this
15 responses
• China
23 Apr 12
You had scanty experience of life and were so naive at that time.Perhaps It was because the wise always appreciate one another, as you said that you were in a lot of honors classes together.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
23 Apr 12
Maybe so! At that age our brains are filled with all sorts of ideas - any many of them just "mind games" until we truly experience them. Perhaps that filled my brain too much - ha ha - as it did keep my mind off the stress of studying - ha ha.
1 person likes this
• China
24 Apr 12
You were a teenage girl then ,which was the age full of fantasies,so you were only well disposed towards him other than what is called falling in love with him secretly.
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@much2say (22274)
• United States
24 Apr 12
Geez, back then if I knew what I know now, I would have thought about better things - hee hee.
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
I'm experiencing the same thing, i've dreamt about 2 of my high school crushes repeatedly, but with diff. scenarios. I have been told that they've been thinking about me as well. So i personally believe that most of the time, our dreams tell us something, it's just done in a weird and symbolic way and not the literal meaning that it is conveyed thru dreams. So if it is a recurring one then he is probably thinking of you too. Also if it's a recurring dream then there is unfinished business between the two of you or whatever aspect of your life that that dream represents. I also suggest you go to dreammoods.com, it's a very reliable site in interpreting your dreams.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Hmmmm - I'll have to go check out that site out of curiosity!! Ha ha - if that guy is thinking of me at all, they are probably not the best of thoughts - ha ha!! He probably knew I liked him, but I highly doubt the feelings were mutual. So perhaps it is unfinished business on my part - but - it's not like I feel the need to finish it - so that's why I wonder why this dude keeps popping up in my dreams!!! Hmmmmm.
1 person likes this
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
Yeah go check out their dream dictionary, you'll probably connect all those exam dreams, i've had those dreams myself, and it symbolised what i was thinking at that moment. And as for your crush, who knows, maybe he liked you too? Maybe he's just one of those who acts like they "don't care", especially when they know that a certain person likes them. Too shy, i guess. Well at least for me, that's how i act, lol. So you'll never know, maybe he did like you and is wondering where you are and what you've been up to nowadays. And if he's touching or hugging you in the dream or it involved a phone call from him, then he probably wants to touch base. That's according to my research about interpreting dreams. And in real life, those 2 high school crushes that i mentioned were also touching me in my dream, lol and i'm not surprised that they want to reconnect, lol.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Hee hee - if I ever found out that he did indeed like me back then, I would be totally shocked. Nope, he actually is never "that" close to me in my dreams . . . we might have a short conversation but that's about it. Ah, so maybe it means it was never meant to be anyway - ha ha. Maybe the mystery is more exciting than the real truth!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 12
Well I tend to follow the theory that dreams don't have any symbolic, subconscious, or prophetic meaning. I'm only a couple years out of high school and I still dream about high school on occasion. I lamented about it to my Mom once (High school was not a great time for me!) and Mom told me that she still dreams about high school too! Stuff like the first day of class and not being able to find her classroom, friends she used to have, teachers she used to listen to, and heaps of stuff she hasn't seriously thought about in 40 years. From what I've heard, lots of people dream about high school looong after graduation! My theory is that dreams often sort through memories, and no matter how long ago school was, it made an impression on your memory. Having a crush on this boy was part of your high-school experience so its something that pops up when your mind is sorting through those memories.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Yep! I sure don't think dreams have a prophetic meaning . . . that would actually be scary - hee hee!! Like your mom, I dream about other high school issues too . . . and it is funny how a lot of people say that - well after they've graduated! High school was "ok" - but I still had a lot of soul searching to do at the time. Perhaps the guy was sort of a "distraction" for me . . . I can focus on a crush rather than stress about studying - ha ha. Definitely it's a strong memory . . . so he is still stuck in my head apparently!!
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 12
I guess high school is just such a focal point of life and shaping life that it gets stuck in the brain for years. Which kinda makes me annoyed cause I don't want to still be dreaming about high school twenty years from now! But oh well, maybe I can make stronger memories along the way. I probably focused on crushes more than studying too.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
23 Apr 12
Hee hee!! Yah, I didn't think I'd be dreaming about high school after 25 years . . . and in my dreams it's as if I'm back there again, something I'd never want to do in real life. Maybe I have more confidence about things these days - and I want to go back and show these people I am "worthy" and not some nobody in school?! I'd rather dream about crushes than studying - but unfortunately I have dreams (nightmares) about studying (or lack of it) too!!
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4185)
• Canada
21 Apr 12
Just my opinion, but I would say it has nothing to do with, "this guy" but rather in your assertiveness. Kind of a way your mind is reminding you, that you didn't take assertive action then, and nothing came of it, and that is how things will continue to go, unless you take direct assertive action, in regards to accomplishing something in your life. Of course, I could be totally wrong, but that is what I think. Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
Interesting take on the dream! Could be true . . . afterall, there were so many times I schemed to do this or that just to see this guy or make him notice me . . . and many of these schemes were foiled. But it's not like these grand plans were anything "assertive" like you said . . . no wonder they never worked. Maybe I'm thinking of the wouldof-couldof-shouldof sort of things - yep - there could be something to that! Thanks, CJscott!
1 person likes this
@leighz (458)
22 Apr 12
Now you know, when you die you can't go to heaven yet, you have an unfinished business on earth, to win him over the last time, just kidding. That's pretty tragic, not being able to even be friends with him. Try to add him on facebook and see if he still looks adorable :) Tell your husband though just for kicks.
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8527)
24 Apr 12
I think that sometimes we can still dream about people who we had strong feelings about just because our brains are trying to make sense of the thoughts and feelings that perhaps we had tried to ignore at some points during our past. Certainly, dreaming about my high school crush is something that I had experienced in the past because he was a big part of my life so it makes sense that you should think about them every now and again. We can't control what we dream, but we shouldn't get too worried about what they mean, as we really don't have any control over it at all.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
24 Apr 12
My brain must have been fried by these strong thoughts of him back in high school - ha ha. So silly I would obsess over a person back then - and this is a person I wasn't even friends with. But I was such an internal person, so the things I filled my mind with probably got lodged in there - to the point it opens up every now and then. Yep, we can't control our dreams - and you're right we shouldn't worry about it - but still, it makes you think why our brains retain such events in our lives!
• United States
22 Apr 12
ONE, He's "the one that got away". So theres always that "mystery" of what it would've been like to date him. TWO: You maybe thinking more about your youth, then the actual guy. I know I find myself drifting off thinking about the guys I should have dated back in high school. (Instead of the ones I actually DID date) Its not really about wanting to be with them NOW after all these years. Its about me thinking about myself "back in the day" (back when I was cute, LOL), and wanting to relive that era again and maybe do it a little better, making better choices. So just remember that while you don't really know what it would've been like with that highschool guy. He may not have lived up to your perception/expectations of him had you actually dated. It might have turned out to be quite a "let down". You really just don't know. BUT like you said, you DO know that you have a wonderful husband and kids who DO live up to your expectations. Maybe you and your husband need to have some date nights. I think we all need that.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Ah yes, more date nights would be nice!!! Perhaps it all means there needs to be more excitement in life right now?? The whole mystery of that silly crush back then was certainly exciting - made the school days go by faster anyway - ha ha!! True - knowing what I know now, I would have done things differently starting way back when . . . but of course that time isn't going to come back . . . so we can only go back in our dreams. And true - he may have turned out to be the biggest weenie anyway - ha ha!! P.S. Awwwww - I'm sure you're still cute!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
Maybe it was your first crush? That's why you tend to remember him from time to time. Maybe you were in love with him? hehehe. Was he your first love? Maybe you're just kept thinking about him that's why he came into your dreams. Maybe you saw each other again? Maybe that reminded you how handsome he is. hehehe
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
22 Apr 12
No - definitely not my first crush (for goodness sake, I have liked boys since I was in first grade - ha ha!!). You just reminded me that I liked this other guy all through middle school . . . yet, I NEVER have dreams about him . . . so why the high school one? Maybe back then I thought I was in love with him . . . but I wasn't even friends with him, so definitely I was just infatuated with him and the thought of being with him. The thing is I DON'T think about him at all in "real life" - I really don't! Maybe it just goes to show how shallow I was back then . . . it was more about good looks back then rather then a real personality!!! Hee hee.
1 person likes this
@clocks123 (1230)
• United States
21 Apr 12
it could be from not taking that road which led to no where. we want it but we don't have it. it makes us want it more. i think it comes from our own self nature.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
That's possible too. Although I'm glad I took the road that I did take . . . but perhaps that other road was left unfinished, so to speak. Maybe I'm thinking of the what if's . . . I don't know. But being older and wiser now, I really don't know why I was so obsessed with that guy back then - I just "was". Maybe those strong, teen feelings left such an impression on me that it never left.
@dawnald (83985)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Apr 12
Why do I still dream about being in school, it's finals week, and I haven't even studied or gone to class? Or that it's a work day and it's noon and I'm not even dressed. I suspect it's something to do with childhood insecurities...
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
I still get those school dreams every now and then too. I think I had one just the other night - something about not remembering what my locker combination was!! But I hate those school dreams regarding tests/studying because they are stressful!! Hee hee - I've had those funky work dreams too - where I'm late and I look at the time and it gets way the H late!! I wonder if this high school dude I obsess over still in my dreams is about teen insecurities . . . man, I never had the guts to do anything about my feelings back then!!
1 person likes this
@maezee (18173)
• United States
21 Apr 12
I don't think there's always a reason for dreams. Sure, some people like to over-analyze everything, but unless it's a recurring dream, I can't see the reason for trying to analyze it. It is weird though that your subconscious would bring up something that was over 25 years ago. Maybe your subconscious was getting a little nostalgic. It happens. I was weirded out when the other day I was having a dream where I basically about to get mauled by lions. I was trying to think of some kind of metaphor that relates to my real life, but I couldn't think of anything. So I decided to dismiss it because sometimes our minds just go in random directions when we are sleeping.
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
This guy keeps popping into my dreams every now and then . . . I don't know why because during every day life it's not like I think of him or anything. Yah, it could be a nostalgic thing . . . admittedly the excitement of seeing him at school back in the days made the time pass faster - ha ha. Interesting about your lion dreams (or nightmares??) . . . maybe you saw lion images on a commercial or something and it just entered your dreams . . . geez, dreams can be so strange!!
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Apr 12
much2say..I have had dreams of old boyfriends too and can't figure out why...Thing is I don't think anyone can answer this since dream interpretation is not an exact science and many symbolic meanings are involved. I have heard the most obvious conclusions are also usally wrong.....
1 person likes this
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
Aren't these dreams funny? My brother in law was a psych major once - and he is of the opinion that dreams don't have a meaning - that they are just a mish mosh of the imagination. I don't think they're totally irrelevant. But you're right - dream interpretation isn't an exact science - different things can be different to different people. I just have to wonder why my brain picks at this particular person to stay stuck in my dreams - ha ha!
1 person likes this
@ravipors (81)
• India
21 Apr 12
Oh girl you are not alone. Many persons have dreams about their high school crush. Even if it an infactuation or puppy love, it is special moment you felt first time wanting to be loved, that warm thinking still lingers in your subconscious. That`s why you get repeated dreams about him. Even though you have found your love of life, that hard pressed memory in the secret chambers of your deep soul gets expressed as dreams. I think it will fade away with time, when the love of your life fully occupies your conscious and sub conscious mind. So as long as it does not interfere with your day to day life, nothing is wrong with that.
@much2say (22274)
• United States
21 Apr 12
Ahhhh, when I read "warm thinking that lingers" - ahhhhhh - that's probably it. Pretty crazy, eh? I guess the teen years are so impressionable . . . maybe that whole experience of obsessing over a guy and never even getting close was traumatic to my system (heart) - ha ha. Oh no - it doesn't interfere with my daily life - I just wake up after these and feel so darn silly if anything - like I want to slap myself in the head for it - ha ha!
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7737)
• Canada
27 Apr 12
EW...my dear friend, second teenage-hood already?Did I forget to warn you..in this day and age of re-cycling, dreams are prone to being recycled, too! I am being too light-hearted here, but I sometimes think they happen to remind us...how MUCH better-off we are NOW, than then! Heavens, I am still dreaming about that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Missed you...have been away from here, myself...forced retreat (whilst putting up my summer tent--Igloo melted!)
@much2say (22274)
• United States
27 Apr 12
Recycled dreams - hmmmm, I didn't even think of that! Couldn't my mind have picked a better time frame? My teenage years weren't quite the best of times . . . definitely in a better place now. I wouldn't mind dreaming about a pot of gold . . . but the meanie leprechauns are probably waking me up before I even get to that - ha ha!!! You're back, pergammano! Ah, missed you . . . been wondering where you were! Forced retreat? But hope it was a good one! Glad to see you here again!
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Apr 12
Too funny....Some-one sent me an e-mail with a picture of a rainbow which it looked like it ended right in an "outhouse" (outdoor toilet)....and that is exactly the "pot of gold" I have found so far! For safety and sanity, I fled my home and property! An idiot that has been stalking me for over 25 years now...re-appeared in my life! Over the 25 years, I have filed 6 Police Reports....but he knows (the stalker)how to accomplish his deeds staying just out of the jurisdiction of the law. It is very, very hard here, as we do NOT have full-time Police, so any action I take against this idiot..I am vulnerable to vengeance from this a$$hole! Everyone knows here, when there is Police on the Island or not! Thank goodness, for some burly friends whom have offered vigilante services if needed! Hiding, looking over your shoulder...is not a pleasant retreat..dear one! It took, and is taking a mental toll...as my sleep pattern is askew! This guy, is well-known to Police, and just served a year for some "voyeurism" charge. Missed ya, too..dear one!
@much2say (22274)
• United States
1 May 12
Ha ha - a pot of gold - or a pot of somethin' else? Ha ha! The potty at the end of the rainbow! Holy cow! A stalker? What a nightmare! 25 years is a long time . . . that is just plum crazy! Wow, no full time police . . . now I know I take the police here for granted no matter how much I complain about them . . . I can only imagine how you must feel without that cushion of protection - knowing there's some weirdo out there. Do you have mace/pepper spray on you just in case? Glad you have some burly friends to help out (I don't know that any of my friends would help out that way - you are fortunate!). If that guy just served, what is he doing out again?? Hope they catch him and put him in the dungeon for good!!!!! He is interrupting pergammano's time on myLot!! Stay safe, pergammano!! Hope you can be back home now - safe and sound!!!!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17555)
• Canada
12 May 12
I guess it was a turning point in your life. At a very impressionable young age, you started to discover yourself. And started to formulate what kind of guy, and what kind of life you wanted ahead of you. And all the 'scheming' to cross path with him was just your way to deal with this discovery. And the reason you are still dreaming about it now (or maybe 3 weeks ago when you posted this discussion) is that you're at a point of evaluation in your life. To assess yourself if indeed you've gone through a path that you've set out for yourself in high school.
@much2say (22274)
• United States
13 May 12
Hey, bounce! For sure! I think I wanted so much for the "unknown" to happen . . . and ultimately the "unknown" never happened . . . so perhaps currently, in my mind, I question all the things that I'm working on / scheming on in which the outcome is "unknown". For instance, we have just become first time home owners - well, escrow just closed - and we need to fix some things up at the house - and finally move from this apartment to there. Then I have to do a lot of thinking about the kids schools. It's much more than that - but I have a lot on my plate about it . . . so perhaps it's somehow related?? That I want certain things to happen so badly, but I'm just not sure how it's all going to play out? Evaluation of my emotions regarding the current situation? And ugh - I'm STILL dreaming of that guy here and there - that hasn't stopped.
@bounce58 (17555)
• Canada
13 May 12
STILL?! Maybe it's something else then. I'm stumped! Anyway, I guess congratulations on being a home owner!
@TheHorse (27348)
• Pleasant Hill, California
16 Nov
Freud would say he represents someone currently in your life. And that that feeling of wanting to impress someone--but why?--exists in your life now (or then). Make sense?