Submissive Wife

United States
April 21, 2012 10:30pm CST
Okay please don't ridicule me I know what this sounds like I have gone over it over and over in my mind but I am very sure this is what I want. I have always wanted to be a submissive wife. I have read the part in the Bible about the submissive wife. I have read blogs about women who have done this,and read books on this. Well one book, and to be honest since I could remember when I got married this is what I wanted. I wanted to be the one that cooked and cleaned, took my hubbys boots at the door, answered his every whim. And I still want to my problem is I went so long doing things my way that I don't know how to get out of that habit. I want to be his wife that does what he wants and doesn't nag, or annoy him. And I want to do the cooking and cleaning for him and my children with a smile on my face. Are there any of you out there like this who are submissive, and how did you learn to be this way. What drives you to do this? How do you put everyone elses needs and wants before yours? I want to know please.
11 responses
@HomeBase (1054)
• United States
22 Apr 12
I am submissive, my mate is dominant. Try just being calm around your house, not walking around smiling, being FAKE. Being submissive does NOT mean walking around with a smile on your face all day while you are doing chores. Smiling all day is called being phoney NOT being submissive. Also, you ARE entitled to "me-time" no matter how submissive you are. Being submissive, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LET YOUR HUSBAND DO THINGS FOR YOU WHEN HE WANTS TO. Being submissive, if your husband wants to do work around the house, if he wants to clean, you are supposed to LET HIM. You are NOT supposed to do all the work. Being submissive in large part means ALLOWING your husband and kids to work for you sometimes, do you get that?? Your submissive nature a lot of times is triggered BY THE TYPE OF MAN THAT YOU HAVE. If you are involved with a man that is dominant by nature, it makes it easier for you to be submissive. When I say dominant, I do NOT mean abusive and mean, I mean a man that has a certain "I run this household, I'm the head of this family" type of nature to him. Some men have it, some men DO NOT. You will cater TO EACH OTHER. He is strong, but kind. The dominant man WILL help you clean sometimes, he WILL cook sometimes, he WILL answer to YOUR every whim, he will help out whenever it is needed but he will still be very manly and dominant. It takes a certain type of man to be that way. THAT TYPE OF MAN IS RARE. Just go about doing your housework on a daily basis like you would go about any job OUTSIDE of the home. Do it professionally, do it like you are getting paid. If your husband wants something, he will let you know. You do NOT have to walk around smiling. You can walk around CALMLY, that's fine, but do not walk around smiling all day because that is fake. Smiling DOES NOT make a woman a submissive wife.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 12
Nice, Home Base. Well said :)
• United States
22 Apr 12
This is absolute best piece of advice I have gotten on this subject. The dominant thing is something that I feel I need from my husband, not because he wasn't dominant at first because he was, but to be honest I broke him down, and he did everything for me just to make me/ shut me up..this is not what I want I want to be the household happy calm wife. thank you so much
• United States
22 Apr 12
I am nt married yet,but,I do all the cooking and he and I do all the cleaning. Matter of fact he cleans more than me. I don't think in this time and age this is good. If this is what you want then by all means do it. I cator to his every need but,blessed as I am he does do for himself. Like he will wash all our clothes and I fold them with him and I put away mine while he puts away his. He stopped cooking for the most part since I started. But,he will do all the food shopping and buy stuff that needs to be heated up to give me a break. So,while I am being there for him he still has his independence and does his share. The das of the woman doing it all are gone. What ever you do I wish ou the best.
• United States
22 Apr 12
I guess I am just a little different than other people. But for the most part I do all the cooking and cleaning but my biggest issue is doing it joyfully without complaining. I want to get out of the habit of thinking that I am entitled to me time.
1 person likes this
@leighz (457)
22 Apr 12
I would complain if I have to do all these without getting credit for it. I think it will help if your husband and children appreciate you more often. This will give you the drive to do your part of taking care of your household. My mom's sister has a lot of things to do, given she has 5 children, a husband and a full-time job. One day I heard her say "I resign!" while mopping the floor. My cousins were like "Mom what's wrong? why the long face?". She responded with "Nobody helps me around here, I quit being your mom!", I thought it was funny, my cousins were giving her kisses.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 12
There is no way on earth I am cleaning up after grown people who can clean for themselves. this is the main reason my child is getting out of m house. she is a slob and it makes my home look bad. you would not believe how fast she is to bring her friends at home. I clean here because I have no other choice. at my mans house where we are together we do it all together. life is good when everyone chips in to make it easy for everyone. when are you to get rest and me time.
@Mashnn (4503)
22 Apr 12
If you can afford to be submissive then I think it is very fine. For me, I expect my husband to help me in doing some house chores sometimes though it all depends on his work schedule.
• United States
22 Apr 12
Thank you, for not being rude..lol. I feel like it's what God wants from me. For me to be a happy house wife. It's just my own personal beliefs
@Mashnn (4503)
23 Apr 12
Just be yourself and do what make you happy. If you are happy doing what you are doing, just continue doing it.
@peavey (16306)
• United States
23 Apr 12
It's not real popular to be a submissive wife in our "me, me" society. I applaud you for being honest about what you want and for wanting to be a content wife. That's what it's all about, really. Not having to prove yourself to anyone, being able to be "just a wife," and to support and care for your husband as much as you want. That allows him to support and care for you, too. A marriage is a two way street, not two streets, like our society tries so often to make it.
@shivanisd (388)
• India
22 Apr 12
Some people are by nature submissive, like i am to an extent. But make sure that the submissiveness does not lead to you resenting your husband or others because that will lead to a problem. If you are fine with it, there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe your husband wants a less submissive wife and a more independent one. Have you ever thought about that?
@cupkitties (6939)
• United States
22 Apr 12
When I was married, being the so called "traditional" wife was just natural to me because of my personality and because all the husband and wife couples I knew when growing up were like this. However being a submissive doesn't mean to be a door mat and not speaking out when something is bothering you. You don't have to be nagging, but there isn't anything wrong with wanting to be happy. People often have the wrong idea about this whole thing.
• India
22 Apr 12
the things you have mentioned i am pretty sure all wives do, however, this does not mean that they are submissive. i do all the house work, becasue i know it is my house and i have to do it. my hubby is helpful, however he has a different style of working. he have politely refused his help a number of times because i like it this way. i do cooking, cleaning, everything to ensure the house runs smoothly. i am incahrge of that. i have a say on all matters pertaining to house and finances. my hubby is taking care of his job. i would not say i am submissive. i think it has been made this way by god. i do not feel tired ever and i love doing all this. besides this i am currently looking for opportunities to earn a little money as well.
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
i am not married yet but i take care of my boyfriend the best way i can. i want to be the one to cook for him, wash his clothes, iron his clothes and all that. i think it is just normal for a woman to be doing that when they love a person so much.
• United States
22 Apr 12
I think you need to change your thought process. I don't think it's really a matter of dominant and submissive-it's simply a division of labor. He brings home the bacon, while you attend to things around the house. Both roles are equally important.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
i think being submissive must not only be a responsibility of the wife or the husband at that matter. it should be a responsibility of the two people. maybe becoming too submissive is not so healthy in marriage, but all you have to do is to compromise about what things or those particulars that you can do in the house and what your husband can do as his part. i also think that the true motivation why married persons put everyone elses needs before theirs is that they know how to priority and what to prioritize, so it is clear for them which matters the most and which does not.
• United Kingdom
22 Apr 12
Well I just hope you are not mixing up "submission" with "caring". "Submission" arises out of "coercion" while "caring" out of affection. Relationships work when there is respect and love between the partners and not the threat or fear to do something. So you wouldn't need to submit to your partner if you really care about him, rather you'd do things out of love. Nor do I think he'd want you to surrender like a slave, rather he'd want you to be sensitive, responsive and reciprocating. Like Charlie Chaplin has famously said " You need power only when you want to do something harmful, otherwise Love is enough to get everything done "