what if you're in love with your friend but you have to keep it to yourself.

@krizzy (237)
Philippines
April 22, 2012 5:51am CST
I have a close friend that is so cute, kind, and so fun to be with..we know each other for almost 4 years now and as time goes by, I feel like I'm slowly falling in love with him..we are always together in school and we also hang out with our common friends..some of our classmates asks us if we are like together in a romantic way, or like if we have boyfriend-girlfriend relationship because we are so close..and sometimes I feel like he also likes me in a romantic way because he does something only for me and not with any other girl friend he has..I don't know, maybe it's just me..but sad to say, he has a new girlfriend now and I don't show that I'm affected about it..I'm still his friend..as long as he's happy, I will always support him, loving him in a secret way..
4 people like this
20 responses
• United States
24 Apr 12
If he already has someone in his life now, then you don't have the right to tell him how you feel. If he really felt the same way towards you, she wouldn't be in his life. Everything is about communication and body language can be very deceiving. He does special things for you? I have male friends that do special things for me too BUT I don't go automatically thinking that they want me secretly because of it. You should have taken your chance and told him how you felt while he was still single. It would have saved you the heartbreak that you are going through now.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Exactly. You said it well.
• United States
25 Apr 12
Thanks. I have been there before myself.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
25 Apr 12
Why keep it a secret? Do you just want to keep getting your heart broken in siclents? Tell him how you feel maybe he feels the same way.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
25 Apr 12
correction; silence
@shylade (3138)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
hi krizzy. you need to step back and stay away from him for awhile. you need space to think. if he has a new girlfriend then maybe he is just treating you as a friend and no more than that. but sometimes, it takes someone to realize you are falling for the wrong person so there might be a possibility that your friend has something for you too. i will share you this. i have fallen for my bestfriend and that isn't easy for you have to risk the friendship. we have separated for more than a year after college and God find a way for us to brought us together through work. and that when we realize we can be just friend and to cut the story short, we are happily married right now with one adorable son. see, if we had not take the risk then maybe we don't have this happiness but then again i believe that if we are meant to be then whatever happens God will bring us together at the right place and in the right time. goodluck to you and i wish you too can find your own happiness (but it sounds like you are still young so don't rush love).
@krizzy (237)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
thanks!!..right now I'm just giving myself time to think..you're right, I should not rush on anything..if it's meant for us to be with each other, then it will just happen!:)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
sometimes appreciation can be misinterpreted as love. maybe you just like him because he gives you attention that he doesn't give to other girls. maybe he just kind to you because he treats you as his bestfriend. if he really likes you more than a friend, then how come he didn't pursue you instead? now that he has new girlfriend, give yourself time away from him. spend more time with other friends. in that way, you will really know if its friendly love or its more than that.
@krizzy (237)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
thanks for this..maybe it's just I got more attention from him..we are so good being friends..I think it's just like that..
@GemmaR (8527)
22 Apr 12
I have been through this before and I was in love with my best friend for four years of my life. I have to admit that they were the worst years of my life because he knew the way that I felt and he just wasn't interested in me before but he chose to make be believe that he liked me so that I would take him to places and pay for meals out and things like that. You should always tell people how you feel, and also make it clear about how the other person feels as well as it is easier for everyone involved if we are all truthful about everything.
@krizzy (237)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
you said you take him to places and pay for meals out because he knows he likes you?..that's ridiculous..your friend is not a true friend..he's just using you, you should wake up..don't waste your time for people like that.. back to me, well it's pretty hard telling him..we're so close and I don't want that closeness to be gone for just a single word or sentence..damn!..now I know how it's like to be in this kind of situation..
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
.... damn. It should be you who is beside him now. But I guess you shouldn't interfere since he has a girlfriend now. If you think he likes you romantically, it would have been good if you told him how you really felt, that is if you have very passionate feelings for him. Don't be too passive. If you want to be happy, be willing to take the risk. Besides, if your friendship is broken because of your feelings, then he isn't entirely a good friend if he can't continue being your friend for that reason alone. Would have been easier if he did not have a girl friend though. Now... you have to tell him how you feel at least and see how he reacts. But that would be really really risky. All this is up to you. If you are happy where you are now, then, okay. Be honest to yourself. That is all.
@krizzy (237)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
It's just so hard telling him..what if I tell him and he walks away from me..i don't want to lose him..I value our friendship too much..I guess it's better to be this way, at least I know that I'm going to love him unconditionally and I will let him feel everyday that he's always got a friend..
@obe212003 (2302)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
Friendship for 4 years is a good foundation for any relationship, as there inhibitions have subsided and probably knowing the good traits and the bad traits, etc. Surely i would say you love your friend as you seem to acknowledge his happiness, but the sad thing is denying yourself of how you feel towards him, but i hope that time will come that he would realize what he really means to you and you to him. Good luck and GOD bless.
@krizzy (237)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
yeah..sometimes I just deny about what I feel for him so that I could not feel the pain every time the thought enter my mind that he has already a new girlfriend:(
23 May 12
So brave you are in doing it. It's early also to say that you don't have a chance at the end. He is maybe your soul-mate, we don't know. :) Just stay good.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Maybe for now, you should just suppress your feelings since he has a new girlfriend. If you tried everything to make the feelings go away but you still feel like this, just keep it to yourself for the time being. You are a girl so you know how it feels when someone threatens our relationship. Respect the girlfriend. If they ever happen to breakup, then that's where you step in.
@daDaize (215)
• Austria
24 Apr 12
You say "I'm still his friend...as long as he's happy I will always support him, loving him in a secret way.." but out of experience I can tell, one day it will hurt so much and loving him secretly won't be possible. He did something for you, that was only for you? Maybe that's his way of showing him that you are his special bestfriend because if the feeling was mutual I don't think he would hide his feelings by getting a girlfriend or not telling you. What you can do? Wait for him (if he's really worth it) but keep in Mind that maybe it will hurt you, espcially if he brings his Gf with him. Ask him and risk either drama or receive mutual feeling. Get yourself a boyfriend hiding your own feelings
@jenzai (390)
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
This kind of situation to all of us. In my opinion it is better to tell the person that you like or in love with him/her. In that way you might find out with in yourself after you reveal if the feeling is still there. The moment you feel that way your friendship is no longer in the same wave lenght, at least by confessing you can measure how far you truly treasure your friendship.
@KrauseHome (33387)
• United States
23 Apr 12
Have you ever shared these thoughts and feelings with him? Let him know you are falling in Love with him, or does he think that this is just a phase? Maybe he does have feelings for you other than a friend, but afraid to show it? But sometimes you need to let your feelings be known, and see just what he thinks. If he does not feel the same way it better to know, instead of letting him fall for someone else, and have you always wonder.
@arlera (86)
23 Apr 12
hi, if you really are atttracted him in such a way dont u think you would be alot jealous if he has a new girlfriend,if u think he cares alot about u why are u letting this slip away,ive been told when u love someone u should say it.,because u may lose out on something great. nothing is wrong with letting him know how u feel.saying once he is happy u will be ok is denying yourself and him as well.
• Uganda
23 Apr 12
Well the first thing to do about this situation is to let your friend know how you feel about them Keeping quiet and burning within only makes matters worse and can also cause a strain on the relationship. Having feelings for a friend after sometime is very normal, remember this is the person you spend most of your time with which also means you both enjoy each other's company so falling in love is pretty easy. Tell your friend how you feel and get it off your chest.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
That is so sweet. We have the same experience. I also fell in love with my best friend. I did not tell him because he has a girlfriend too. But the guy would know if you're interested or not. That's what my friend told me. Your actions and your eyes will say it all. I also felt that he has a thing for me. He even told me that why does it have to be now when he already has a girlfriend. We acted like a couple. But if he has a girlfriend now and you're not sure if he feels the same, just hold back the feelings that you have for him. You might end up getting hurt, just like me. Haha! You must really love him because you want him to be happy. Just continue to be a friend to him. If the feelings would go deeper, then stop and give your heart and mind a rest. God bless you.
@toniganzon (41138)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
Not until a guy tells you he's into you, never assume anything. That's my golden rule. Been through what you've been through. I've cried my heart out as well but remained friends with that person when we were in high school. But i got over it and life went on. If he's truly meant for you then love will find it's way without you doing much of an effort. But if it's just not for you, there will always be someone else. It's good that you are still being friends with him.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
For me I will just say my feelings no matter what will happen, I mean you only live once why resist it, even when my friend has a boyfriend or girlfriend or something I will just have to say my feelings. Just say and no intentions of taking her away from his boyfriend, as long as you are doing the right thing you should not face any consequences.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
Oh,that is sad ,maybe he just treat you as a friend even you are both close. But i am sure that you hurt by it,and affected ,well he loves other and you secret about you love him.You will hurt more,ou have another hope to love other.
• United States
23 Apr 12
I think you are a wonderful friend to let him be in his relationship. I think if it will be in the cards for you later in life you will know. right now don't ruin what you have and it will work out like it should. I wish you luck in love.
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
22 Apr 12
I would pull back ask myself if this is true or I am just flattered or feel I am needed and this is something I need or like. I will also ask myself what is more important to me on long term: a relationship or friendship.