I'm grounded

United States
April 22, 2012 7:07pm CST
Yep, I'm 61 and I'm grounded like a 12 year old by my son in law. We had a family blow up and he found out about something that his wife didn't want told. She ended up telling him and of course said that we had a pact not to tell. The details don't matter... by my family dynamics really suck sometimes. I'm grounded until we move into our new house. He took my satellite receiver away from me so i can't watch TV for 3 weeks .. until we move. That means I can't see American Idol. They have TV but I can't have TV. Well.. I have Netflix online so they aren't hurting me too much! your thoughts?
4 people like this
21 responses
@bunnybon7 (32565)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Apr 12
omg! every time i think my kids are impossible to live with, i hear of someone else being mistreated lots worse then me. i should be ashamed. if i were you, id find another way. this is outrageous for a woman to be treated that way by her kids. and i thought my daughter was mean to me some times. i so wish you had a son like my oldest. he has said, say the word and they are all gone. but probably just like you, i deal with a lot because of love for my daughter.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 12
Exactly. It's over now.. he put my receiver back and I have TV again... so he is over being mad now.
@Hatley (157858)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 12
hi stowyk he makes me want to paddle him like a little brat lol lol pointless is a sweetheart and nobody should treat her like that.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157858)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 12
she would like my son as he is so kind and giving I just thought all sons and son in laws were like that and I guess they are not.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
23 Apr 12
if he took the TV he would be punishing himself, so you are the scapegoat here, but really you daughter should be punished too if he is going to do that to you.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 12
Oh they had TV.. he didn't take their receiver, just mine. He put it back though just a little while ago so now I will be able to watch Idol. Maybe my daughter putting me into overdraft had something to do with it? I had to transfer some money to cover it. She had permission to get milk and eggs. She got some other stuff and it was more than I had in there. Is it a co ink e dink?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157858)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 12
he he no pointless a unty hatley says its no co ink e dink at all.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
23 Apr 12
don't understand what you two are saying co ink e dink
1 person likes this
@Suebee (2013)
• Canada
23 Apr 12
Ummmm, being grounded? At your age?? I don't get it. Is it YOUR satellite receiver or is it his? Just askin.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 12
It's the one for my room. We all live together.. my daughter, son in law and me. He just lifted it, and put my receiver back after taking it out last night. His wife, my daughter, used my debit card (she had permission to use it to get bread and milk) bought a bunch of stuff and put me into bounce protection. I think he lifted it because of what she did. It happened right after that. He pays for the satellite, I pay for the food that everyone eats all month.
• Australia
23 Apr 12
Get your daughter to hold him down while you kick him in the nuts and then refuse to buy him any food. Better still, take you daughter and run, he sounds like one of those obsessive control freaks who turn into wife bashers. Lash
• United States
23 Apr 12
It is hard to live with family especially when for various reasons one has to, that said you should be treated with respect and that is not respectful. It needs to be handled now or he will beleive he can always be this way with you and your daughter.
• United States
23 Apr 12
I agree. It's hard to live with family. I am like a roommate. I pay for the food and SIL pays for everything else. It's all blown over now thank goodness.
• Australia
23 Apr 12
Kick him in the nuts. Lash
2 people like this
• United States
23 Apr 12
That sounds like an option!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 12
Wow, that's absolutely ridiculous. Does your daughter agree with this? It sounds like she should stand up to her husband and not let you (her mother) get treated so horribly. You're a grown adult and you shouldn't have your tv taken away from you like a little child. I hope things improve for you
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 12
Yes it is ridiculous. My daughter didn't agree with it.. she is the one that got him to be reasonable in 24 hours. It was touch and go after that too.. but it is all okay now. Funny thing now is he is without TV.. he ran over the cord to their receiver with the lawn mower. I have TV and he doesn't.
• United States
26 Apr 12
haha that's karma right there!! I'm glad you were able to get your tv back and it's also nice to know that karma really does come back to bite people in the butt
@BarBaraPrz (17331)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
23 Apr 12
I think you skunk-in-law is guilty of elder abuse.
1 person likes this
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
24 Apr 12
Me too. He is a creep.
• United States
24 Apr 12
It's over now. He apologized. This is the first time he actually physically took something away from me. I gave him an ear full after the fact. We had a long talk today clearing the air. It was good. He really isn't a monster. He just pops a cork once in awhile and then he gets over it. 24 hours was the longest he has ever been mad.
@myfb2009 (8304)
• Malaysia
23 Apr 12
PQ, it is pity to hear that you are being grounded. In fact, they should respect you since you are their elder. How come they disrespect you and grounded you like a little kid. Hope you have another option to watch your favorite show. Do take good care of yourself.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
It's over now. His tantrum lasted for about 24 hours. Hecrestored everything.
@myfb2009 (8304)
• Malaysia
23 Apr 12
Happy to hear it is over now. I will response to your another discussion regarding this matter. I just saw it in my email box...
@GardenGerty (90227)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Apr 12
It does not sound like they communicate very well at all. You should not lie to your mate, even by omission, but he could choose to be the bigger person. Besides, he is "not the boss of you"
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
It shouldn't have been an issue but she didn't tell him what her problem was because he always has a fit. She was hurting with neck pain and back pain and needed more medicine so she needed to see the doc. He said to just suck it up. She handled it in her own way without him knowing. Then he finds out two weeks later that she handled it her way behind his back. He got mad because she kept a secret and I didn't tell on her. She is supposed to see the doc this morning. I told him that if he had not belittled her and shamed her telling her to suck it up that she wouldn't have gone behind his back.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (90227)
• Marion, Kansas
24 Apr 12
Truth hurts sometimes. I hope he learned something.
• United States
26 Apr 12
Yes, it does sound like you have some "interesting" family dynamics. There really is something off with your son-in-law. I don't know what the background is that led you to living with your daughter and son-in-law, but it is unfortunate that you have found yourself in this position.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 12
It's all over with now. He got over his tantrum. I list my home after a divorce. Since then I was in a roommate situation that was too volatile at times. I moved in with my daughter and her hubby. He is normally very nice but he gets mad and pops a cork once in awhile.
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
whoa that sucks! he's so mean LOL... knowing he is just your son in law....
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
Hegoes off on me every so often.
• Uganda
23 Apr 12
I think you should remind your son in law that you deserve respect because he married your daughter and secondly because you are an adult. How can you allow your son in law to ground you as who?????? Take up your stand, if anything he should respect you.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
I don't have a choice. He can take the Internet and tv away if he wants to. He pays for that. I pay for other things in the household. He's just being an azz. It's over now. He restored it all.
@p1kef1sh (45647)
23 Apr 12
I am speechless. You are experiencing "elder abuse" which is every bit as offensive as child abuse (I wouldn't regard taking a child's TV away as abuse though). I am with Lash and Lamb here. Where it hurts and HARD!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
I'm not a violent person P1ke. I would live to hit him where the sun doesn't shine though when he acts this way. He gets very verbally abusive at times. He has gotten that way with his own parents before. It's worse for me because I live with them.
@AmbiePam (45833)
• United States
23 Apr 12
I guess the tables have been oddly turned. If you have access to the computer, can you watch American Idol online? I know Fox shows their episodes online a couple of days after they first air. I'm not sure if they do that with American Idol. Plus, you may not be able to avoid seeing the results online while waiting, so that might not work.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
You only get to see clips online. He finally restored the wifi and my satellite receiver. First off he had no right going into my room taking out the receiver. That's my room. Things better change for the better when we move.
@Hatley (157858)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 12
hi pointless questions how dare your son in law do that to you and you just let him ? grandpa lash is right kick him in the nuts how dare he mandate anything to you. What on earth is going on there?my thoughts are no son in law should ever be allowed groung you with taking away your satellite receiver. I think he should be told to butt out of your live altogether myself. do not let that man stress you out. I am glad you have Netflix on line but how come you let your son in law mandate anything to you? stick u p for yourself.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
I couldn't stop him from taking the satellite receiver. I also couldn't prevent him from cutting off the wifi. He put all that stuff in his car to hide it. He gets so theatrical sometimes. He's over it now. If I had a place to go that I could afford I would go, but in stuck. For the most part it's good living with him but he goes off sometimes. Lots of times I get hollered at for something my daughter did. He doesn't want to yell at her so he yells at me. I know he does this and he knows he does this. He will apologize and say he was taking it out on me.
• United States
23 Apr 12
She should have stood up for you being you were not te one who did wrong. I hate the thought of ever living with my child and needing to follow her rules. I hoe you move soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 12
It's resolved now, thank goodness. He put my receiver back, so he is over being mad.
@RitterSport (2452)
• Germany
28 Apr 12
dearest PQ you know my basic thoughts about this. If I were in your place I would not care whether he has clean and ironed clothes to wear or what he likes in cooking like burnt pizza etc etc. I would just stop caring for him at all. he has a wife who can take care of him wash his clothes, iron and mend them and see to him having food. I would just ignore him if he treats me with such an incredible disrespect. Who does he think he is? a Patriarch? Head of the House? If he brings home more money so his own mom in law wont have to work her butt of being in her 60s already, when most people retire, then he can open his darn trap but no sooner. I know you were only grounded as you say for one day but this was a day too much.
• Germany
28 Apr 12
having gone through some of the other answers now, I would even do womething different.- You are constantly facing abuse and as soon as its done with you will almost defend him saying he isnt sooooo bad. Please realize that he IS that bad. I would start writing all these things down in a notebook or in a file on your computer so you always have access to it and when he does it the next time you turn this creep in to the police for elders abuse. BTW I dont think there is no way out for you. If our dear online friend Hatley who has been evicted in her old age (shame on the landlord who dare do this to her and her son) and got into a senior citizens home, you can too........
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Apr 12
Hi RitterSport, You don't really have an accurate picture in your mind about him. If I tell you something that happens, it happened and then it will be over. I don't keep it going and he doesn't either. In other words, I don't try to go out of my way to make war and neither does he. I don't feel that going for months not talking to someone or being irritable is the way to find peace in a family. Do you? Everyone has problems and they deal with them however they do. We don't hang onto anger. We deal with it and get over it. He just pops his cork from time to time. He doesn't hold a grudge, and neither do I. He pops his cork and then he is over it. This was the longest he has stayed mad. He isn't mad now. I just try to stay to myself most of the time to give them their own time together without the mom in law hanging around. He doesn't stay mad at all. I wouldn't want to live in a nursing home, for sure. I may have to one day, but I don't want to if I don't have to. Right now, I couldn't anyway with the hospital bills I have to pay every month. We don't have free health care here, so anything the insurances don't pay I have to pay. There is no Medicaid for me where my medical is free. He really is a good person. He just has a hard time coping with things and blows his top for a bit. This time it was my fault that he blew his top... but I suggested a way to handle things.. so hopefully, in the new house things will be better. I don't do much cooking anymore .. just for myself.
• Germany
28 Apr 12
"I don't feel that going for months not talking to someone or being irritable is the way to find peace in a family. Do you? " Dear PQ everyone has to handle things as he or she sees fit. I really prefer a day or two of not talking when the offense is as big as this to just think about the situation undisturbed and then talk about it. This is far better than a false peace where you pretend everything is okay again and just tiptoe around the other person waiting anxiously for the next time he will let the handle fly.
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
24 Apr 12
It seems like I am grounded most all the time at night here and don't have use of most of the TV that I wish I did have cause my idiot 40+ yr old brother never goes out anywhere at night, no even on one day, all he does is wanna watch the damn flippin television. He has n o girlfriend and doesn't seem interested in one, just the TV. I can't understand him at all. Please someone date my brother, LOL!! That might mean we don't stay fiends after awhile though, as you don't wanna hubby or bf like that either.
• United States
24 Apr 12
Nope, I don't think I'd want your brother . Sorry you don't get any alone time with the tv.
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
25 Apr 12
LOL, he is a big child, beleive me. I don't blame you.
@psrpit (39)
• India
23 Apr 12
Its very bad. It should not be done in any country in any case.A senior citizen must be respected. Not to forget you too are going to have that phase latter in your life. Can you have a TV tuner card???? (To watch American Idol)
• United States
24 Apr 12
It's all over now. Got the tv back. Will watch American Idol wednesday and Thursday..
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
23 Apr 12
It sounds pretty petty to me. I would just leave it alone and watch Netflix. I hope that things work out for you.