How long should you been in a relationship before you get engaged?

United States
April 23, 2012 9:25am CST
How long should two people be in a relationship before they get engaged?
1 person likes this
16 responses
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
It should be fours years which is enough to know a person inside out, it is enough to know if you are willing to be with him or her forever, it is enough to know if he or she is the right one for you, it is also enough if he can support you financially or both are financially stable.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
yes i agree with you, because thats also the year when we engaged to my hubby.we dont know why..
• United States
24 Apr 12
I would have to disagree. When people begin to grow a relationship together, the dynamics of that relationship begin to shift. One person may change a certain behavior for the other, the two of you may move to a new environment, have a dramatic insident that brought you closer or to grow apart, career changes, financial changes, or whatever life may throw at you. I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and we've lived together for one, and I still learn new things about him every day. I don't believe there is a definitive answer to how long two people should be together before they feel the need to tie the knot because everyone's relationship grows and changes at a different rate. However, I do completely agree with you that being financially stable is a HUGE player in the game of relationships. Being able to support each other financially (and emotionally) tends to contribute to far less marriage problems and eventual divorce.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
It all depends on the emotional and mental maturity of the two people. If they are both ready to be married and committed, they can engage. That is if they're just 100% sure.
• Indonesia
24 Apr 12
I've been in relationship in 4 years, but he leave me when I have many problems in my life. This proves long relationship doesn't necessarily to the wedding.
• United States
24 Apr 12
There is no set time. Some couples get married within the first few months of knowing each other , while one coulple can take decades to get enagaed. It all depends on the two people, how much they Want to get married and how long they want to wait. When it is right , it is right!
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
At least to years in a relationship, for sure you know each other well by this time. You'd been adjusted to each other's attitude and quite ready to face the family life.
• China
24 Apr 12
i donnot think there is a certain time, my friend meet his hubby for 3 monthes and they got married and enjoy a happy life, there also be some partners dated for several years but break up at alst, it all depends, people need to find if their partners is the right person for them
24 Apr 12
There is no definitive answer to your question. Some people go extremely quick in some peoples eyes but end up being married for 30/40yrs or more. Where as some take their time with the same result and vice versa. I think it's more down to the two people deciding if its truly what they want. You also have those couples that have known each other even if it was just as a friendship for years before getting together. Obviously if its someone you just met then realistically at-least a month + to get to know them, find out what they're truly like and so on. It's the same with engagement lengths. Some will say you should be engaged for x amount of months or even years. I say why wait? You already decided to take that 'next step' might aswell go for it.
@much2say (39824)
• United States
24 Apr 12
I don't think there's any set time frame . . . as long as you both know each other through and through. Hubby and I were together for about 15 years before we got engaged - but we always knew we'd be together. For us it was more we wanted to start a family so we decided to get officially married finally. And some people are engaged for a long time too before they get married! My friend has 4 kids - almost all teens - she and the father of their children are still only engaged after all these years!!
@vertu007 (683)
• Romania
23 Apr 12
I think people should consider getting married after they have a decent job and they can take of themselves. They also should have a place to stay. I don't see the point in starting a family if you don't find the necessary thing first.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
I don't know if there are really any time frame for a relationship to go to the next level. If both couples are ready to take it to the next step, no matter how long their relationship may have been, then it's a go for them. If they're not ready, then why hurry. I am in a relationship with my bf for 6 years and we still haven't taken our relationship to being engaged. We are happy with where we are now and what status our relationship is in now, we are not in a hurry as well so we are taking our time together as boyfriend and girlfriend.
@GemmaR (8526)
23 Apr 12
I think that it can very much depend on the two individuals but I don't think that there is any specific time limit that you can put on it. You should never rush into things like that though as you don't know whether you're suited to a person in the long term when you've only been with them for a couple of months. I also think that should try living with someone before you get married to them, as actually living with them is a very different reality than just seeing them every so often. A lot of couples end up breaking up because of this,
@dubbc3 (125)
• United States
23 Apr 12
This is an excellent discussion topic. I am also a new mylot user. From experience and observing other relationships, I believe couples should spend at least two years in a monogomous relationship before getting engaged. Some people only show their "good" personality traits at the start of relationships. The more you know about your partner, the better. You should know what makes him/her happy, excited, motivated, annoyed, angry, etc. Marriage is the ultimate commitment between two people, and it should be taken seriously. If one or both parties are uncertain about their feelings about commitment, egagement should be postponed until a mutual desire is achieved. People are prone to change their minds about life decisions. The divorce rate is high in todays society for many reasons. One reason is people tend to move too fast early in their relationship without really knowing their partners. I think people should spend plenty of quality time together in different environments. I also think that observing how your partner reacts to various situations is beneficial to the relationship.
@cupkitties (7291)
• United States
23 Apr 12
However long it takes. There is no one set amount of time for everyone. My dad and step mom knew each other only two weeks. Most people would say that is much too soon, but they have been married over 20 years and their relationship is 10x better than many couples who knew each other for 5-6 years before getting engaged. As my step mom said about it " When you know, you just know."
@jinky2012 (438)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
It doesn't matter if how long to be...The thing is you and your partner are satisfied with each other,The attitude, the good qualities that you want is having the attitude of your partner.Keep in love,Just take time, then if you want it to a deep relationship then that's the time you engage.Know its other carefully for you not to regret in the end.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Apr 12
I really don't think there is a certain time frame. I think it is different for every couple. My husband and I were togther for a month when he proposed to me and we have been married for 7 years! Were more in love than ever. My sister and her fiance waited two years before they got engaged. It depends how fast you know they are the only one for you. My husband and I knew as soon as we met eachother. I think its important to know the person very well and to know you never want to live without the person.
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
I can't really think of any certain timeframe for a couple to be engaged. I don't think it all depends on how long you've been together in a relationship. There are couples who've had a relationship for as long as 7 or 8 years, but they still didn't end up together. There are some who only spent a few months being steady, and they are happily married. There are more to that, than just the length of time you spend with each other.