What is it that I need to say..

United States
April 23, 2012 8:37pm CST
I have been at my man's house for 9 months out of the first ear I lived here. October made a year. Than after that having more issues at home I went back for about 6 months. Now I am home for three days and he asks me when I am coing back to his house. I told him the other day that it is fine time I live at my house now. He works in my town so he can come see me everyday during and after work. He feels because I am having more problems I should just go back to his house. I said,no I will be here dealing with it. I have run long enough. I need to stick to it and work on my issues at home. We have been fine all day. I will wait for the cps to come here and help me. I don't think leaving will help me. Everone else agrees that I should be home but him. What is it I need to say to him.. thanks.
3 people like this
10 responses
@celticeagle (114256)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Apr 12
I think you should tell him you appreciate his support but you feel right now you need to be at home. You have to do what you feel is best. He wants you with him probably feeling he can help you if you are with him. Men tend to see things one way and woman another on some issues. Agreeing to disagree.
• United States
24 Apr 12
Everytime I go home an be there for a day he whines about missing me and needing me there. It is getting me pissed because I am taking my meds every day and I am doing much better. I am dealing with my stress without thinking bad thoughts about hurting myself. I can do somethings for myself.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157749)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 12
gifts and if you can stick it out it will prove to you you are much stronger than you think you are.yes you can do somethings for yourself
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
24 Apr 12
So true, Hatley! Just to get through each day in your situation shows strength. You are way stronger than you realize!
1 person likes this
@laken02 (3068)
• United States
24 Apr 12
i can see his point as the situation at your home is not in the best way right now, and i know you would much rather be at your onw home, but if things dont work aout for you thur cps.. then you might want to consider moving in with him until kay turns 18 then you can move back home and have you thoguth of asking adrian to move in with you when she moves out.. as you like your home better , would he not do that that way you could tell kay that as soon as she turns 18 adrain is moving in with you and she has to find a place to go.. i know mu hubby would want me to be with him until things blowed over all the fighting he would not like nor would any man. that is why he wants you to stay at his place and see peace.. just a thought i wish you the best..
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 12
I would like to once be in my home and do all I need to.
@Loverbear (4929)
• United States
24 Apr 12
I would be honest with him and explain that you need the satisfaction of taking care of the issues at home before you can continue to stay with him. I would tell him that it doesn't mean that you care for him any less, it is simply a fact that you need to get things sorted out and your daughter dealt with before you can go forward with your live and being with him. If possible, set up a couple of days a week that you can stay with him. But let him know that you're being at home doesn't reflect on your relationship with him, it doesn't diminish your feelings for him, it is just the simple fact that until you get your daughter dealt with and other problems settled you can't enjoy your time with him as much as you should. If he is someone who gives good advice, ask him for advice and to help out. It will sooth his ego and make him feel much better. It is obvious that he has feelings for you and wants to care for you (that is part of the reason for his wanting you there with him) so even though you are home, include him in your life as much as possible. I am sure he is feeling that he isn't useful because you are living at home. It's a poke in the side of the balloon that holds his male ego. It is deflating from your being home. Explain too that you need the satisfaction of resolving the problems yourself, and that you can't run or hide from the problems anymore. Nothing makes a person feel good about themselves than solving hard problems on their own. Hopefully your man will understand this.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Apr 12
I ask him for advice all the time and he helps me. It's just once I would like to hanle somethings and show myself I can do it. He can come see me tomorrow.
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
24 Apr 12
I agree with you, as long as you have things under control, you don't need to go to his place. I would say to him something like, "I am fine, but it would be nice if I can call you if I need a listening ear." That way, he feels needed, but you also have your independence..
• United States
24 Apr 12
I am glad you feel this way. I am doing fine and will keep it this way. thanks.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157749)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 12
hi gifts I think what you are saying is before each time it just overpowered you and you could not fight it, but now you feel like you must prove to yourself you can handle this this time.Its something you feel you need to face.,O kay just this I admire you for wanting to do this but dear Sharon if it gets too much either go to jb next door or to Adrian's we all love you and do not want you to get hurt.promise you will not take too many chances okay?
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 12
I won't be doing much of anything but making sure the house is clean and all is going well.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
24 Apr 12
Gifts, I am just so proud that you are really getting some back bone for yourself...I really think that you should feel really good about making decisions for yourself....Now you know I love Adrian but he need to know/realize that you can think for yourself...every thing is Adrian and KK... Adrian is just spoiled and you did it..... Good for you, hold on.....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (157749)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 12
thanks for being her friend bjc. and that was what I thought too'but will she also go to you or Adrian if things do get completely out of hand." I as a friend just do not want to see Sharon get hurt and I do not really trust KayKay . but I do love seeing her stick up for herself and try to face it.I will pray God will intervene and not let Sharon get hurt.
@akyenez (21)
• Nigeria
24 Apr 12
when i was born, i was so surprise that i couldnt speak or talk for a year and half. its so amazing the matrix of birth cause its simply the most amazing thing on Gods earth
@dorannmwin (36671)
• United States
26 Apr 12
It is completely up to you if you ask me about it. I know that I choose to live with my man from just a short time after the two of us got together. But, I know that is not something that works for everyone. Your circumstance is a lot different than my own because I didn't have children at the time and I also didn't have rent that I still had to pay at another place. What is it that is keeping Adrian from coming to stay with you? If he works in the town that you live in, that would save him some money in the long run.
@lynboobsy11 (11347)
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
You just done the right thing since your still waiting for the CPS to come into your house. Tell Adrian I know he is very understanding person, you should deal your problem first before going to him. I know what's on Adrian mind he is just concern about you and afraid that you might ended up going to the hospital again but just assure him that you take care of your self and do the best that you will not hurt your self again. And I'm so glad that you can do it now, just stick in your decision, I know it's hard but you can stand to it.
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
i understand you need your own time too and space to be able to deal and fix issues. i hope you are doing fine.