I lied and my friend smiled – Should I thank God or be Sorry?

@viju0410 (2286)
India
April 24, 2012 7:26am CST
Hi friend and lotters, No friends, I am not a liar and I always try to speak the truth. But yesterday i preferred to lie as truth may hurt the other person. I met a friend and she was sounding so low and upset on some personal issues. I never thought that my white lies can bring a smile on her face. I did say sorry to my favorite God but at the same time I also prayed for her happiness. Now friends, is it okay to tell white lies to make someone smile? Have a nice time. Viju
5 people like this
13 responses
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
24 Apr 12
Hi! I am not too sure if your did the right thing by telling while lies to your friend. However, the bottom line is - she did not know that you were telling her lies and this made her happy, so you could be let off ............lol! I think if it helped her felt de-stressed then it is OK, but you need to check if you provided her a temporary solution/smile on her face or a lasting one. As you have not narrated the problem in details, it is difficult to make assessment about the problem and lies told.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
Hi dpk, I was thinking in that lines... hahaha. I haven't narrated the story here as i don't want that whatever she told me should go public. I think she liked what i told and would follow my other suggestions on improving her life as well take care of her family. have a nice time.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
2 May 12
Hope she is happier now.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
14 May 12
As Deepak has said I would also not recommend any lie be it white lie or a serious one
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
24 Apr 12
Hi Viju0410, how are you? I suspect that what you did could fall under the category of flattery. I am not sure whether this approach (of flattering someone) is to be classified as a white lie; as in the end, this method usually make the recipient happier than not being told. Historically, it would 'appear' to be (1)the thoughts and (2)expectations for men to use flattery to compliment a woman for her physical appearance, or an action that is 'seemingly' good. Women do flatter each other or men as well. Anyway, I do not think that flattering someone who obviously need that compliment, in order to improve their day, is essentially bad. However, like all things, caution is necessary when practicing this activity. Why? Because the recepient also has a brain that works! The recipient knows that, while you may be trying flattery to make their day better, you may have gone overboard with it. Therefore, be careful with that practice of telling 'white lies', as if the recipient thinks that your efforts at flattery is being used in inappropriate ways, it can backfire.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
Hi Samson1, In fact i am not that type of a person to use good words to flatter someone and i am basically practical and also i don't prefer telling lies but that day, to save an unpleasant situation i had to act that way. I know my friend do have brain and it works perfectly as of now. Thanks for sharing the flattering strategy here LOL and sure, i would not practice this trend of telling white/black/colorful lies.. never... take care.
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
25 Apr 12
Ooh Viju410, you're so gracious in your comments, and you got me smiling as well. Have a great day also.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
24 Apr 12
I think it depends on what it is, but there is a saying going around that personally I prefer and that is, "I'd rather be hurt with the Truth, than to be comfortable with a Lie" (well maybe not the exact words, but similar) Of course this is mostly due to my beliefs, as I see the lies in the religion I grew up in and so I speak the truth and want others to speak it as well. Like I said though, it depends, but personally, I try to not lie, not even little white ones..
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Apr 12
Hi, i too believe in that and i am not at all in favor of telling lies. But at that moment i thought whatever i talk would be of great help to my friend so i just told something and she was relieved. take care..
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Apr 12
Well, I hope she doesn't find out,it could affect your relationship later on.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 Apr 12
Hi Viju, I've done it myself. I think it all depends on the situation and what it is that you are lying to them about. If telling the truth will do nothing to help them and only would hurt them worse then I'd probably tell a little white lie. Thankfully, I haven't been in that spot too often. If the truth is potentially hurtful but will possibly help them to improve then I'm pretty careful in how I choose my words. You seem like a sensitive person. If you lied, I'm sure it was for all the right reasons.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
26 Apr 12
hi sid, yes, at that situation i did what i could make her feel relaxed. You know certain issues make us sensitive and sometimes we act and later think if the act was right or wrong. However, it did help her to see the other side of the coin so i'm happy and now much relaxed...thanks for your thoughts.
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
25 Apr 12
Hi Viju, I don't think there is nothing wrong with it sometimes one has to tell lies for a good cause i have done it many times. I can corelate it with a person who is dying lying on the bed and ask you what is going to happen with him you can never tell him that he is goind to die shortly of course any one will say don't worry don't panic everything is going to be fine.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
Hi SJ, Wow... what a great motivational thought. Many members and friends supported and stand by me though i always try to be honest. Above all when the lie did not harm anyone.... i think everything is fair in love, war and friendship too.. have a nice time.
@leighz (457)
25 Apr 12
Not at all times, when the issue is really hard to deal with, being blunt and expressing your real thoughts and opinions will help more. Saying white lies for addressing serious problems is like helping your friend dig her own grave. I've been there, done that, the result is not ideal. My friend ultimately believed that what she was doing was alright for she has a friend who supported her, but in the long run it changes their reasoning. It's always good to keep your friends in reality check.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
hi leighz, Thanks for sharing this real life experience. Yes i am sure that i did was only once and now we are finding more ways to resolve the issues. As i said earlier, i am not in favor of telling lies but under some circumstances i acted that way and my friend is understanding too. Yes, making them aware of the actual situations will bring upon more sense and we can avoid telling lies. happy lotting and have a nice time.
@shaqziad (655)
• Malaysia
25 Apr 12
I am more toward justice-kind of people. So I say you should be guilty for lying to your friend. But i think you do the right thing to give her a smile when she is feeling down. Just ask her for forgiveness later. If she appreciate you, she'll forgive you. If not, well, she is not suited to be a friend of yours.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
hi sha, i did feel guilty but asked the forgiveness from God and not my friend as i don't want her smile to fade away as of now. Now she is much better and trying to accept realities. Thanks for bring up the this thoughtful point. Happy lotting friend.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
I believed that depends upon your purpose and the situation as well. If there is a person who looks very angry and is looking for your brother or sister- lying about their whereabout is not that bad- you never knew what is the reason why an angry person is looking for your loved ones right? Assuming your brother or sister did something wrong- I still won't point my finger where my brother or sister is- I would prefer to talk with my brother/sister and ask about the truth. If proven he/she is wrong-I will convinced to settle the matter and won't consent whatever wrong doing he/she has done to anybody. So,if you think you did the right thing for that friend- have a peace of mind.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
hi jai, you are right and few more response also make me feel that i wasn't wrong. personally i don't like people who tell lie and i am not that type but i can tell you, that helped us from an awkward situation.. Take care
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Apr 12
Hi Viju Religious Based response? Okay - Rama lied ( I do see his hiding and killing bali as a lie and also planning to kill Laxman for me is more gruesome than a Lie) and so did Krishna... So Gods (of Indian Mythologoy) Do LIE! And when they can why not we mortals. From conscience views - I am always in for anything that can make anyone smile - with only one string attached - what in the long run? Will that revert back and come as a shock or sad thing! If not, there is nothing from my viewpoint to be sorry about... And here is my original response - Lies white or black... are all fine as long as you dont get caught and when it is about bringing on smiles... there are more ugly lies that people tell... so forget all this and enjoy the fact that you could make a friend smile... now, be honest and let us know if the friend smiled coz your lie was caught! if yes, it defeats the purpose of the lie and you should join some school to master this one
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
25 Apr 12
hi thesids, At that time i remembered lord Hanuman - the mediator between husband and wife. Great you are with me this time and yes, the revertal..... since you reminded me those religious lies, now i am much relieved and really not thinking about it. Hey, of course not and i don't think so i would be caught easily and am very sure she will be happy when i see her next time. Honestly, i don't like to speak white/black/colorful lies but no regrets of what had happened at this moment and if there is any problems i'll rope in Krishna or Rama... Take care
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
you should do both. hehe thank God because your friend was not mad and be sorry for yourself because you told a white lie. a white lie, for whatever purpose still remains to be a lie, it's just up to the consequences if that would come out as bad or not that harmful.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Apr 12
hi za, I know and in fact i didn't thought of the 'after effects'. However i was happy for that particular moment which made her smile and she could regain her confidence. take care
• United States
24 Apr 12
I have done this as well. I made myself feel better because I prayed as well. I think lies are not good period. but,there are time when we need to make someone feel better.
1 person likes this
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
24 Apr 12
Thank you for boosting me up Gift... i was feeling guilty for a while but then it seems, after all it is god who made me act that way and it was better that my friend's condition was improved. Thanks again for kicking this a go.. take care.
• India
3 Oct 12
Friend, you have to thank God that your friend is now ok, and at the same time you have to say sorry for telling lies. Because lying is not good even if your intention is to make them happy. Remember there’s always a serious consequence or effects of lying. One of this is trust, once trust is broken your relationship will be never the same again. And that person will never believe you anymore. Just take note this saying, “Honesty is the best policy.”
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
4 Oct 12
hi, yes and you are right and i am also a believer of 'honesty', but that particular day nothing came to my mind to save her from an awkward situation in public and so i lied.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
14 May 12
I feel that in ordinary situations it is better to keep quiet than utter anything at all.Telling even a white lie normally goes against my conscience ; however if you feel that no harm was really done then it is alright. Sometimes even white lies can harm a person and if she is a close friend she would prefer the truth to any white lie.If I have difference of opinion I always say "well this is my feeling; but each to one's own because everyyone's situation is different.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
15 May 12
Hi, Thanks for sharing your inputs. I am a person who never believe in telling lies but some such circumstances made me to say so (or may be i thought to escape an awkward situation in public) and make her at ease, i did so. But i am happy she now thinks more positive and looks both sides of the coin.