I can't believe my dang daughter!

United States
April 24, 2012 7:44pm CST
Okay. I have not been lucky in love. Have been married 4times in all and none of them lasted. Even boyfriends have not lasted. My daughter and I were talking about me being depressed over the lives in my life never lasting. Well my daughter says, you don't have luck with men, just become a lesbian! My eyes nearly popped out of my head and nearly spit out my coke I was drinking. I started laughing and was shocked. She sounded like she was at least half serious. I told her that I have best friends but I am not one to take a best friend to that level. No freaking way am I interested in any girl on girl stuff. I'm not against that for someone who is orogrammed that way, but it's offensive to me to even suggest it. I'm not mad at her but can you imagine in my small town? I'd be the talk of the town. What is really sad to me is that a girl would probably like me better than a man. I've been hit on before by a woman and I was creeped out. Why is it so difficult to be found attractive by a man? Maybe I need lipsuction and a facelift! I'm just venting. What's your thoughts?
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
25 Apr 12
I was asked by an ex friend of mine to let him blind fold me and let this girl make love to me. he said,she promised to take care of me and all. I was grossed out to the core. I could not say no enough. I don't blame oyou at all.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 12
PQ, I think there is someone out there that oyou have not met yet maybe when you move it will open up doors for you. I truly trust in this. before adrain I was about to give up altogether.
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
6 May 12
PQ, I thought you felt loved by your new Mom?
@GardenGerty (96643)
• Marion, Kansas
25 Apr 12
You just choose the wrong men. I cannot believe your daughter said this. I have been lucky, in many ways. Both times married were marriages to last, it is just that disease takes its toll. I hope the laugh did you some good.
• United States
25 Apr 12
It did but the words did intensify my depression. I feel a sense of hopelessness about ever being loved. I've grown in love and was married for 10 years for the longest but that husband left me for an affair.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164757)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Apr 12
yes he was just the wrong guy for you if after ten years he plays around. shame on him.
@winterose (39922)
• Canada
25 Apr 12
well it is unusual for a daughter to suggest that but it was an option never explored before, so it was something to thing about. You are certain that is not for you so that option is out. Personlly I don't think she was serious, serious maybe when it is just a thought but if you actually fell in love with a women your son in law would not go for it he is too conservative for that and then she wouldn't either.
2 people like this
• India
5 Oct 12
Yes you’re not lucky to have a partner in life. What can I say is just stay single, maybe it’s not the right time for you to have partner again. Take time to relax and enjoy with your friends companion. Right time will come don’t be in a hurry. Just support what your daughter wants in her life.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Oct 12
I am very content with my life as it is. If a man were to come into my life I'd be okay with it, but actually I think I am much happier alone after having so many failed relationships.
1 person likes this
@dilrajj57 (1759)
• Pakistan
5 Oct 12
hi PointlessQuestions, what type of man you like to find, if i offer you really, please dont ming my reply, i really respect you.
@laken02 (3067)
• United States
25 Apr 12
lol i think she just wanted to see your reaction as she probably knew it would freak you out and you would never be that way.. i too have had girls hit on me .. that is just the new society.. i use to get mad at my hubby and tell him i was just going to find a girlfriend that she woudl treat me better . but he knew i was just kidding .. i love him way to much ,just want him to love me more, but it did not work lol so i never said it again.. good luck with finding a new guy, for me i think if i got divorced i now have new standards and for the next guy i know what i am looking for and would be very picky or be very lonely one...i just hope it works out with hubby im trying really hard and i dont want to be single again.. and i really love hubby.. good luck to you..
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 12
Thanks Laken. I hope your hubby continues to value you as a woman and as his wife. I just want to find live like other people seem to have. I want that love to grow and blossom. I'll be lonely though because it's just nit in the cards fir ne. In too inept. Socially inept.
@laken02 (3067)
• United States
25 Apr 12
well i think there is hope for you.. :) you seem to do well talking online to others and are great at it.. so have you ever thoguht about going to an oline sight and looking for someone there.. there are plenty of free sights and if i got divorced that is where i would go.. have you ever heard of plenty of fish .. its a free dating site and i got on there and looked for guys for my mom.. and i thought it was a nice site to visit.. you might want to try it as well.. good luck and i pray you find someone soon as you deserve it.. your a great person..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Hello PointlessQuestions, please do not think that you need liposuction or a facelift in order for you to find a great man. I am sure that you are such a wonderful woman. And just because you have not find the right man for you yet it means that there is something wrong with you. I am sorry to hear that you were offended by the suggestion of your daughter. I am not going to suggest the same thing, but let us look at the bright side. You are able to brought up a daughter who is intelligent enough and open minded enough to think of things like that. I am not saying that what she had suggested is right, what I am saying is that she's intelligent. Just like you, I am not into lesbian relationship, but I have nothing against it. I have a lot of lesbian friends and they are one of the greatest people I have ever met, but I have my preferences. I understand that it can get pretty frustrating when things couldn't last the way we want them to, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. maybe it is not yet the right time. But for sure, there would be someone out there who is willing to love you with all his might. Also, I believe that if the man is truly worth your time, love, and affection, you need not to think of all these things which can alter the way you are. A man that is worth it will see you as someone worth loving despite of every flaws you may think you have. I am sure at the right time, someone will come along that is meant to spend the rest of his life with you. Good luck my friend, may you find the happiness you deserve. You are wonderful, please do not forget that.
• United States
25 Apr 12
Oh bless your heart. You made me cry. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. Part of my problem is this relationship I have with my family. I'm a companion to my daughter who cannot be alone. So I am with her while her hubby works. I could never really get married again and leave her. It's complicated but my daughter is a lovely woman, but she has mental problems so much that she must have a companion to not be afraid.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Hi friend, see what I am talking about? You are spending your time taking care of your daughter because she needs someone to be with. How many people in this entire universe could make a sacrifice like that for their loved one? Not many. But you are doing it because you are a wonderful mom. You are so selfless and so loving because you cannot endure the fact of leaving your daughter who is in need. You're amazing dear, I hope all mothers out there are as good as you. When the right time comes, the perfect man will come along to be with you because he will find you to be an amazing woman who has a big heart in taking care of the people that matters. And when that perfect person comes along, he wouldn't care if you have many other things to attend to, because for him, those things can be done together. You and him, forever. So, for now, focus on the things that matters, because you'll never know, while you are busy with your life, someone is on its way to share this lifetime with you. Send my regards to your lovely daughter, and please don't think less of yourself anymore, you are worth cherishing my friend. Have a great day to you.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
6 May 12
You shouldn't feel so hopeless although I can relate. I've come to accept that it was my behaviour that made me choose the wrong men and then let them take advantage of me, lie to me, cheat and walk all over me. At least you are free now. Many (dare I say most?) women who are in a relationship are not happy and not fulfilled. Most just don't have the courage and/or the means to leave.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Oct 12
Yes that is true. Even my mom stayed with my dad for 51 years because she feared she couldn't support herself, and us when we were kids on her own salary. Dad was very abusive when us kids were younger. I am happy to be free of a relationship. There are times when I feel lonely, but the older I get the more content I am. You are right. I allowed men in my life that weren't a good fit because I was very overweight and had a poor self image. I felt that I wasn't pretty enough to get a good guy who would actually love me. Now after lots of years I have managed to lose 114 pounds. Actually lost more than that with a gastric bypass but gained some over the years and now I'm losing the gained weight. Even though I've lost a lot of weight I still don't open myself up enough to attract anyone. I'm okay with it.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
It might be a joke to her too, and because she knew you that you can't do it also, I don't think she can take it too seriously when she saw her mom is with the other girl flirting around. Sometimes me and my daughter have joke all the time, like you I have two men in my life but ended up failed. I have found but still with no luck, sometimes I thought what in the world I've done why men that I love is not right for me. I know there is a right time for a right person still hoping and I know I can wait.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Oct 12
Yeah, she was joking. My family is very conservative and would never really accept that kind of relationship. Let's just say they wouldn't want to know about it. I'm not inclined to go that way either and my family knows it.
@AmbiePam (48115)
• United States
25 Apr 12
Guys are attracted to looks first. And not that women don't want good looks, but they look at the inside. As women, we know a great person makes up for so so looks. It's true. And with women you know you're really being listened to. I think that is a lot of appeal for women. I don't believe lesbianism is something someone is born with, I believe it's what they chose. And I think sometimes that is why women choose women over men.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164757)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Apr 12
Pointless I think maybe you just have not found that special someone who is looking only for you. when you do meet him you will be instantly attracted to him and he to you.it will be mutual and you will both fall in love at first sight.
@Suebee (2013)
• Canada
25 Apr 12
Was your daughter joking or serious? Maybe she is just trying to help you. I'm sure she doesn't like seeing you feeling depressed. Some women think they need a man to make them happy. I couldn't disagree more. Happiness is something that comes from within. Only you can make you happy, no man is ever gonna do that for you. I am a firm believer that happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy, love yourself for who you are and good things will follow. When you least expect it or when you stop looking is when you'll find someone.
1 person likes this
@dubbc3 (125)
• United States
25 Apr 12
I'm not quite sure what I should respond to. Your daughter's advice, or your not-so-good relationships with men. I will just respond to both. First of all, depending on your relationship with your daughter, she may have just been joking. Only you can find that out from her. I'm not saying that you should take her shocking statement as a low blow to your self esteem; but I'm almost certain your daughter doesn't like to see you heart broken. I believe that's the main reason why she said what she said to you. If you were to swing over to lesbian relationships (not saying you would) you wouldn't be the first or last person to do so. Some people actually make drastic decisions like that when they have been hurt over and over again. As far as your luck with men, I'm no relationship guru, but I know enough about men and relationships. I've had two long term relationships in my life, and I'm 41 years old. Hopefully, you have a healthy amount of self esteem. Hopefully, you respect yourself so that men will respect you as well. Hopefully, you're not bitter and nasty toward men because you've been hurt. Hopefully, you don't think any man will define who you are. What I'm saying is...LOVE YOURSELF, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! I hope you think you're attractive, because if you don't, that needs to change! Do some nice things for yourself. A new hairstyle, a new outfit. Take more walks or excercise. Think about what kind of men you want to attract, and go visit the places where your type of guys hang out. If you do the same things the same way, you'll get the same results, so do and think new things! Best of luck to you.
1 person likes this
@dilrajj57 (1759)
• Pakistan
5 Oct 12
oh, very sorry for you that not stable to marry with one.