You like someone but they are taken already
April 27, 2012 9:49am CST
Hi guys, I have a friend (seriously he is a friend and not me pretending to be), He just broke up with his girlfriend after apparently an unsuccessful long distance relationship (the girl works out of the country). Days later, he met a girl. They have common friends and he really really like her but she has a boyfriend already. He does not seem to know how to handle his feelings since he does not want to: 1) distract the girl because she is reviewing for the board exam and 2)he do not want to disrupt her relationship. Still he invited her to the movies (with the excuse that she can bring their friends). Days later he asked me what did I think about it. I said that he cannot help what he feels but it is up to him wether he acts upon it. You see, for me, if the person I like is in a relationship, it kind of turns me off. If you were in my position what would you have advised him? If you were HIM, how would you handle the situation?
27 Apr 12
Many men like what they can't get. It's different if they can get it. I find it a bit weird he found so quickly someone new he likes. You are right, you can't help what you feel for someone but what you do with those feelings is in your hand. I think he should not invite her to a movie unless her bf is invited too. Also I do believe that if they really are ment to be together this will happen sooner or later without him breaking relationships because he can not handle his feelings. So I would advice him to back off, go on with his life, meet other people instead of getting fixated on someone who is not free.
28 Apr 12
hmmm.. apparently his previous relationship had been rocky for a while.. But i agree with you about the situation being weird because he quickly found a new girl he likes. It made me think about if his feelings are for real or is he just using what he think he feels to get over with his previous girlfriend.
28 Apr 12
if the person you like is already taken, you should respect that. you should respect their relationship and his partner at that matter. im sure there are other fishes in the sea. go get one who is not taken and who can love you full time! great day!
28 Apr 12
ummm i think that happens to a lot of people, where they think they are in love with a person who is already taken. there was a boy who would tell me he loves me too but i already have a boyfriend and i never liked him because he is a bad person. and i told him that i have a boyfriend and that he should stop already. i changed my number, ignored him and changed my dorm because he was kind of like a stalker already. i think you should tell him that this not the right time to pursue with the girl becase she already has a boyfriend. if he really likes her and love her then he should be willing to wait or just let it go. it wont be easy but we know it is also wrong because he might be ruining a good relationship.
28 Apr 12
I'm not a very big supporter of trying to get in with people that are already in a relationship. If you're meant to be together, it will happen whether you like it or not. I would advise your friend to back off, and play it single for a while. He's just been in a relationship. Either he's missing being in a relationship, or he really likes this girl in the first place because she's just within reach than his gf abroad. But make him think about this: how would he feel if some guy asked his girlfriend out to movie under false pretenses, and how would he feel if his gf had gone with that guy? would he still be comfy about it? Of course not. Don't do to others what you wouldn't want to be done to you.
• United States
28 Apr 12
Going out on group days can be okay, but you never know what others might think about it. It could be tinted with malice for some, and can cause trouble when the girls bf, knows about it. If I were the guy, I'd just say what I feel deep inside, and respect what the girl will say if she says no. If the girl will say she does feel something for him and strong enough to make a change of heart, then she should break up with her bf first so no probs will arise. It is never cool to be a gf-stealer. He should learn how to respect relationships and wait for the right moment to come. Besides, there are a lot of fishes in the ocean.