What A Great Few Hours Of Decorating We Have Had

@Janey1966 (24127)
Carlisle, England
April 28, 2012 9:18am CST
Makes a change! If you remember, after my spat with the MIL the other week she vowed never to return and - sure enough, her husband arrived on his own to fill holes in the wall by our front door. Obviously, he's still a bit tense with me but I've been friendly towards him and he has with me..to a point lol. I was so pleased with John's diplomatic way of getting me involved with the painting i.e. applying undercoat to all the wooden areas. His Dad was about to let John loose with the paintbrush to which John replied, "Me meaning Jane," and he looked at me smiling, then told me I could help if I wanted to. I didn't need asking twice. His Dad's face dropped at that point but at least he showed me how to apply the undercoat upstairs (I'd never done it before) so left me to it and he carried on with his filling of holes downstairs. What a brilliant few hours we have had without the MIL. It's sooo much more relaxed, I've loved every minute of it. John has helped too and he NEVER gets involved with painting. He must be thinking, "Well, Jane doesn't want my Mum coming round anymore..best learn how to do it myself" and he's taken to it like a duck to water. I'm really pleased with our efforts and when my FIL comes back tomorrow I'm sure he will be too.
4 people like this
9 responses
@GardenGerty (90965)
• Marion, Kansas
2 May 12
I have often wondered why you did not get to do your own redecorating. I am glad to see that has changed. I hope it continues to be a happy and calm time for you.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
2 May 12
Thanks! I'm not confident enough to do the gloss painting but I might do in future...such as paint my dressing-table, that kind of thing. Not sure if the FIL is coming here on Saturday as he needs to buy some filling plaster for the hole by the front door. Then we can let him loose with some gloss paint. If all goes well the wallpapering might start a week later..but don't ask me to do it..not with our high ceilings!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (90965)
• Marion, Kansas
3 May 12
Well doing the primer and other preliminaries is sure to help the job go faster.
@inertia4 (26915)
• United States
30 Apr 12
Well from what you're saying here is that your father in law is not the main problem. He does sound like someone who will work with you. It must be the mother in law. But it is also great that you and your husband got to work and had a grand time doing it. I know now that with both of you pitching in it will come out real nice. And best of all, the way you want it to be.
@inertia4 (26915)
• United States
2 May 12
Well I do understand you on being assertive. But lets look at that water damage a little close. Whenever there is a leak on the roof, no matter where it's coming from, you're right, water does seek it's level. But because of that the water does sometimes damage other sections inside the roof into the ceiling. So maybe he was not to far off the mark. Water damage is water damage. I have seen things like this first hand and believe me, it was not pretty. It happened in my girls parents place. It started out as a small little spot on the ceiling. But when they opened up the leak, it was the entire ceiling. But I do believe you will take the reins and take control. After all, it is yours and your husbands place.
• China
29 Apr 12
The reason why you felt it was a brilliant few hours is that you were in the mood to do painting without your MIL dictating you.John was wise to let you involve with the painting ,which cleared the atmosphere in a way.It is difficult to play the role of husband and son.He ought to learn how to be a buffer between your in laws and you,otherwise he doesn't please two parties.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
30 Apr 12
My John would be a brilliant diplomat, an ideal job for a Virgo, apparently. He does mediate between us, that I do know and it's so obvious the FIL is doing all the work for John, not really for me. Perhaps that's what John has said to him when he went round the other week after my major argument with them? "If not for me and Jane..just come round for me." They're nothing if not loyal towards one another, especially father and son like you say. As for the MIL, if I never see her again I'll be extremely happy.
• China
1 May 12
It is great john can please two paties,but there again It is also due to the parental love which is liken to the cow fondly licking her calf over here.
@BarBaraPrz (17529)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
28 Apr 12
Well, it's about time you two started doing some of the work around there yourselves, don't you think? Doing it yourself is one way to remove the MIL-stone from around your neck.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
28 Apr 12
Yes, I realise that now..but the MIL being in the way (this house isn't big) in the past, has prevented me from asserting myself properly. Me and John actually carried on with the undercoating after the FIL left the house and I think he'll be pleasantly surprised when he comes back here again tomorrow morning - again, without The Dragon. Haha!
2 people like this
@kareng (7986)
• United States
28 Apr 12
Oh my goodness! The Dragon! hahahaha, that is what I used to call a former boss. She was impossible and made such idiotic demands. Everyone laughed at her behind her back because she thought she had such power. She didn't last very long thank goodness.
1 person likes this
@kareng (7986)
• United States
28 Apr 12
I don't know what led to the spout with your Mother in law, but it sounds like your project is moving right along without her. Good luck with the painting!
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
28 Apr 12
I kicked off because of her being unreasonable the other week. She (therefore her husband as well) wanted to wallpaper BEFORE all the painting was finished..and I put my foot down. She stormed off, the FIL followed her but told my husband (when he went to see them later on the same day at their house) that he WOULD be round to do the painting..and he has..and we've done it and he's filled in some holes like I said. Brilliant day!
1 person likes this
@kareng (7986)
• United States
28 Apr 12
That's great that the FIL came back. It does sound a bit silly to me to wallpaper before painting.
• United States
30 Apr 12
Do you think the MIL will come back to visit at all? It just seems bad that she storms off and everyone carries on without her. Hope she and you will mend fences if they can be mended. I'm thinking about future relations with her. Glad you got done all that you did.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
30 Apr 12
Well, that's up to her...and if she DOES come round I want it to be a social visit rather than her interfering in the decorating or anything else relating to this house. Put it this way, I'm in no hurry to go round to her house (I've not been round since she had her living-room done in January and I refuse to as she upset me BIG time during the last visit there) but, obviously, I'm not going to stop John going round although I can feel my ears burning when he does lol. The thing is, my MIL has got away with an awful lot over the years and it's my fault for not sticking up for myself. She can be nasty towards everyone, including her own family. For example, her sister "fell out" with her years ago and they haven't spoken since. Now, I've only heard my MIL's version of events so I've no way of knowing if she's telling the truth or not. I suspect not as she tends to embellish stories to make HERSELF look good, therefore free of any blame. A few months ago (well before the fall-out) she wouldn't come into the house at first because she claimed I ignored her the previous time she was round. This was a total lie as I promise you it was HER ignoring ME and she hardly spoke to either me or John because she was jealous we'd bought new blinds without her input, I could see the disappointment and envy in her eyes. Eventually, it was me who backed down and had to pretend to be nice, whereas I actually wanted to throttle the lying cow..sorry, but she's just a horrible woman. So, this is another reason why I refuse to go round to her house. I don't want to sit there and pretend I like what's been done. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of being nice to her because - eventually, it all ends in tears..usually mine. Her problem is; she's NEVER in the wrong and it doesn't help that her own husband keeps quiet as she does tend to "kick off" especially after a drinking session. She's secretive about her drinking habits but I know a drunk when I see one.
@nonersays (2660)
• United States
30 Apr 12
Reminded once again how blessed I've been by my mother in law and I getting alone so GREAT. Good for you that you got to spend some time working on your own home without the mil in the way.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
30 Apr 12
Honestly, it was brilliant. I'd do the gloss too if I were confident in that area but I know my FIL will do a great job once he gets round to it lol. The fact we've set the groundwork for him will cheer him up, no doubt, otherwise it would take even longer than it is already. You're so lucky that you get along well with your MIL. It does help tremendously. I remember the very first time John took me to see his folks and my future MIL said, "We don't interfere you know!" Yeh, right.
@GemmaR (8527)
28 Apr 12
I decorated by bedroom back in October, and I have been thinking that I should be doing another room ever since. But I like to be able to set aside a couple of weeks to do the whole room rather than doing it bit by bit. I find decorating hard work, but very therapeutic. When I am painting for example, I like to put my music on a high volume so I always make sure that my neighbours are out before I do so. My house needs another room painting soon and I hope that I will be able to do that in the summer months, perhaps in June or July.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
28 Apr 12
You are sooo right about decorating being both hard work and therapeutic all at the same time. I found this to be true today. It's so satisfying being able to do some painting at last as I've been dying to have a go for years..and I'm 46!
@MsTickle (25014)
• Australia
13 May 12
That all sounds pretty darn wonderful Janey. Gee...wouldn't you have loved to be a fly on the wall to hear how the conversation went between you in-laws when he arrived home.