Screaming Children in Stores
By Nona Morris
@nonersays (3329)
United States
April 28, 2012 3:56pm CST
When I got to work one day (I work at an arts and crafts store) I clocked in and went potty, like I always do. (Because when you work a retail job you never know when you'll be stuck on register for 3 hours straight without a potty break)
While I was in the restroom I heard screaming. A lot of screaming. Very loud screaming. It sounded like a woman being eaten alive by something beastly.
It was even louder as I came out of the restroom, and got louder and louder as I walked up to the front to check the MOD sheet.
In the checkout line, there was a little boy, laying on his back, screaming at the top of his lungs. His mom was standing about a foot in front of him, ignoring him completely with a slightly bemused smile on her face.
I went up to them and said to the child, "Oh my goodness! It can't be that bad can it?" he got a little quieter so I said, "Oh, I know, its because your about to leave isn't it? I don't blame you, I don't like to leave here either. Its the best store in the world." He had quit screaming entirely.
Only to start screaming again as I walked away and got on my register.
And he screamed through the ENTIRE check out process. With his mom the whole time ignoring him and wearing that same bemused smile.
Now, the mom in me was thinking, "GOOD FOR YOU!" because I KNOW the best thing to do for a child who throws tantrums is to compltely ignore the child, and they will learn that tantrums wont get them any attention at all and, in theory, will stop throwing tantrums.
However, the retail working in me was thinking, "Geeze, why don't you at least TRY to make him stop screaming?"
Personally, when my son (who is almost 2.5) starts screaming in a store, if he keeps on for more than a minute I will take him outside until he stops screaming and explain to him that "Nobody in here wants to hear you scream." and explain the concept of an "inside voice" again
So, my question is:
How do you react (as a parent OR a shopper) to screaming children in a store?
5 people like this
11 responses
@TheIzers (680)
•
29 Apr 12
My five months old baby girl doesn't scream at store and I hope she will continue being this sweet 
. Anyway, I used to baby sit my niece and she was screamer when she was two years old, especially everytime we go to store and she wants something. First I used to bought her anything she wanted just to avoid he from screaming in the store but later on I learnt it wouldn't solve the problem. SO one day we went to store she wanted to get a toy and I said NO because I just got her one the other day and she screamed I just picked her up and went straight to home without saying a word to her for the rest of the day (of course I still took care of her, I just being silent). And I asked my sister to tell her that I mad at her and would stop buy her toy because she like scream in the store. It worked even though she young she learnt her lesson, every time she want to come with me to store she always make promise that she won't scream or cry in the store
. Anyway, I used to baby sit my niece and she was screamer when she was two years old, especially everytime we go to store and she wants something. First I used to bought her anything she wanted just to avoid he from screaming in the store but later on I learnt it wouldn't solve the problem. SO one day we went to store she wanted to get a toy and I said NO because I just got her one the other day and she screamed I just picked her up and went straight to home without saying a word to her for the rest of the day (of course I still took care of her, I just being silent). And I asked my sister to tell her that I mad at her and would stop buy her toy because she like scream in the store. It worked even though she young she learnt her lesson, every time she want to come with me to store she always make promise that she won't scream or cry in the store1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157545)
• United States
29 Apr 12
So actually spending time with you is more of a treat than buying goodies all the time. Good job.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
29 Apr 12
We've tried to teach our son that he won't get something EVERY time we go shopping so he won't expect it. Sadly, gramma usually buys him somthing every time he goes shopping with her.
@TheIzers (680)
•
29 Apr 12
it's difficult to tell grandma not to do so, just like my mom always do to my nieces and nephew. sometimes my bro and sist complain about it and try to explain my mom the rule in their house about buying stuff to their kids but my mom just can resist from doing it
@krupar5 (287)
• United States
28 Apr 12
hello nonersays,
My first daughter did this to me when she was about 4 y/o. I did the same thing as the lady at the store. I tried talking to her with no results so I let my daughter throw her tantrum. Sometimes that's all we can do. I have tried other alternatives with my other children, but they were not as effective.
1 person likes this
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
29 Apr 12
Lucky me, my sons not much of a screamer, but taking him outside usually does the trick.
@GardenGerty (157545)
• United States
29 Apr 12
I avoid if possible. I have successfully distracted in the past and been thanked by the parent. That was in the case of the overtired child who needed to be in the car or at home asleep. My own kids would have been removed from the store, probably taken home, but mine did not do that once they were past the infant stage. I took day care kids shopping, and they knew that acting up meant leaving. The parents were amazed at how they behaved for me. I have more of an issue with parents who scream at their kids, call them names, drag them by the arm and are rude to them. I have been doing product demos in a store all day. I have seen some good parenting and some bad today. Lots of grandparents too.
@GardenGerty (157545)
• United States
29 Apr 12
I worked at Wal Mart a million years ago, in a department that had an outlying phone, so we could make announcements, etc. Lost kids often ended up with me, and I would announce for their parents, carefully of course not revealing inappropriate things. It seems the first thing most parents did was to get mad at the kids for bothering someone or having them called over the intercom. It got to where I would make sure, just as the parents arrived, to look at the child and tell them, "You know, you did just the right thing. You found a store worker who could call your parents and you stayed safe". I would not let the parents make them feel bad for getting the right kind of help. I do not recall talking rough with my kids, but I had a great niece who lived with me and I probably got so worn out from her behavior issues that looking back, I think I was pretty rude to her. I could not continue taking care of her because her mom and I had totally different approaches and expectations about behavior.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
30 Apr 12
I have snapped at my son once or twice since he's entered the "terrible twos" but it was only just saying something like "would you PLEASE STOP THAT" louder than I had to.
I know EXACTLY what you mean about parents and lost children. It happens at our store too.
One day we had to page DOZENS of times for one little girls mom. She (the little girl) was crying and sobbing and terrified and the mom WAS NOT coming.
Finally she points at a lady and says, "THERE'S MY MOMMY!" and runs over to her.
The woman was on her cell phone, and had been ignoring the PA announcements and didn't even know her child was MISSING!"
I just can't fathom how some parents can be so absent and withdrawn with their own kids about the same as I cant fathom the abusive ones.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
29 Apr 12
I HATE it when I see parents scream at their kids, or be unnecessarily rough with them. If you kid is screaming/crying then screaming back at them or hurting them is NOT going to solve the problem. And the NAMES I've heard some people call the kids....its horrifying.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
21 May 12
I tend to just ignore it.
I have a severely autistic child. When he gets upset I can't just hall his tush off. At almost 15, he's almost as tall as I am (and strong). I have however tried different methods, including just walking out of the store with him in tow, but he ended up hitting me a couple of times and biting himself, so that didn't work out well at all. Now I just ignore it as best I can. Does it always work? Some days yes, some days no. However, I refuse to leave him at home.
Raising kids is never easy. And having a special needs child can be even more challenging. The best thing others can do is try and to be understanding. That's what I do whenever I see someone else's child acting up. The last thing a parent needs is to hear negativity about their child(ren). If others can't say anything nice, they shouldn't say anything at all.
Happy mylotting!
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
22 May 12
I try very hard to be understanding, but sometimes I will admit its hard.
Today there was a mother shopping with her special child (I don't know if he was autistic or had downs syndrome, I didn't ask the mother). He was being good, sitting in his cart looking at a book, but he was making very loud noises the entire time he was in there. He was happy, and making happy noises not screaming or crying or anything. He was just happy and satisfied, but was very loudly happy.
The mother was in there for over an hour shopping.
At first it didn't bother me. I just went on doing my job. I will admit that after 30 minutes, I was getting frustrated with the noise. After an hour had passed and she was still shopping, I was about to pull my hair out. The other shoppers got to leave the store, but as an employee I had no way to avoid it.
I didn't say anything at all to either of them though. He was just a very happy boy, and she was enjoying her shopping day.
I just tried to work on the other side of the store from where they were currently shopping (somehow they kept ending up on whatever aisle I went to though.)
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
29 Apr 12
As a mom it would all depends on how bad my daughter is screaming if she is screaming and crying so loud that others are looking I would either have my husband take her outside to the car or try to at least get her to stop. I don't mind her crying in public and carrying on a little bit but there is a limit to where other people look and think your stupid.
This week we went to IHOP for lunch on my husbands day off and this little girl about 5 or 6 started crying because the people that where watching her not her parents they weren't there. They wouldn't let her use her fingers to eat syrup that was on her plate and one of them gave her a toast to use to get some of it up put she didn't want that. They let her sit there getting louder and louder for like 5 minutes. The women with them told them man to take the girl to the car because she wouldn't listen to them but he didn't want to. Finally i guess he got tired of the old women telling him to take her to the car. They kept telling her to look at my daughter who is 15 months and how well she was behaving.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
29 Apr 12
Its always a fear of mine that my son will start screaming when we go out to eat. We only eat at family friendly places, but I would still be mortified.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
30 Apr 12
You're right, being used to it from a young age does make it easier. I think that is why my son is (mostly) well behaved out. He has been sitting in chairs with us at places since he was fairly young.
Thats also why we only go to very family oriented places, so if he does scream or squeal once or twice, nobody will really mind as long as its not constant.
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
29 Apr 12
We take my daughter out since she was newborn starting out that young has helped her with not making big fusses. The only time she starts acting up is when she is tried or when she is ready to go. She is only 15 months so we tend to get the clues of when she just can't take it no more and we wrap things up. My little one really doesn't act up for her again. She might cry but she doesn't like cry cry or scream. She might get excited but we tend to go out to loud places where everyone is loud so if she does get a scream or two out no body every notices because of there little baby doing the same thing and a lot of place we go to tend to put the little kids in the same area which helps with the screaming especially with babies because they are all looking at each other.
@PJMingins82 (28)
•
2 May 12
I have a little daughter who is 13 months and generally she is a little superstar when we go shopping. There were times however when she was a tiny baby that she would start to cry in the store - usually because she was hungry or had just woken up.
My opinion is that people generally need to be a lot more tolerant of babies and young children crying out and about whether in shops, restaurants or other public places as one day it could be your child, and it was certainly you when you were a baby.
There is of course a big difference between a child crying to communicate when young and an older child crying out of naughtiness. These children do need to be taken aside and told off or taken out of the store.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
2 May 12
Theres a big difference in a baby as young as 13 months crying because they are tired and hungry, and a child old enough to know the difference (like the one I was talking about in this particular discussion) throwing a temper tantrum.
The only time babys crying bother me is when the parents are walking around chatting on a cell phone and not even TRYING to soothe the poor little dears. Even more than toddlers, the little ones need their needs taken care of when they cry, cause they are usually crying for a reason.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
I love the idea of having children and raising some of my own. But my insides shrivel up when I hear and see screaming toddlers 
. As a child, I don't recall ever throwing a tantrum nor did my mom tell me that I ever did that. I don't know why over the years I am seeing more and more children screaming and groveling on the floor in the malls. I know that the best way to deal with this screaming is to ignore the child. But if you're not the parent, the screams can be irritating. I remember snapping at one lady one time to tell her child to stop because I was eating at a burger joint and wanted a little peace as I ate my lunch.
One of the reasons why I see more kids throwing tantrums here in my country is because a lot of parents no longer believe in spanking or corporal punishment. I remember as a child, this was what kept us children behaved, the thought of being punished that's why we never crossed the line. With kids these days, I observed that they will scream at the top of their voices and their sheepish parents would give in to what they want because they're in a mall or restaurant and everyone is looking at them. It wasn't like this when I was growing up. If you were a little unruly, a look on your mom or dad's face would tell you that you're in for it when you get home. How many stories have we heard that our parents and grandparents would try to escape this punishment by lurking in the backyard? Most of the time, it was just a threat. But the idea that you need to behave or else seems to have been lost with the kids nowadays.
. As a child, I don't recall ever throwing a tantrum nor did my mom tell me that I ever did that. I don't know why over the years I am seeing more and more children screaming and groveling on the floor in the malls. I know that the best way to deal with this screaming is to ignore the child. But if you're not the parent, the screams can be irritating. I remember snapping at one lady one time to tell her child to stop because I was eating at a burger joint and wanted a little peace as I ate my lunch.
One of the reasons why I see more kids throwing tantrums here in my country is because a lot of parents no longer believe in spanking or corporal punishment. I remember as a child, this was what kept us children behaved, the thought of being punished that's why we never crossed the line. With kids these days, I observed that they will scream at the top of their voices and their sheepish parents would give in to what they want because they're in a mall or restaurant and everyone is looking at them. It wasn't like this when I was growing up. If you were a little unruly, a look on your mom or dad's face would tell you that you're in for it when you get home. How many stories have we heard that our parents and grandparents would try to escape this punishment by lurking in the backyard? Most of the time, it was just a threat. But the idea that you need to behave or else seems to have been lost with the kids nowadays.@nonersays (3329)
• United States
29 Apr 12
I only remember being spanked by my dad once, and after that all he had to do was THREATEN to spank me and I behaved.
I think there is a difference in a "spanking" and a "beating." And I think a parent should be able to discipline their child within reason.
There is a lack of discipline and an overabundance of entitlement in the youth of today.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
30 Apr 12
That is interesting. I think you are the first person to mention going to another store. I wonder how many store owners would ask screaming kids to leave the building if they thought it was losing them business.
@me123party (487)
• United States
29 Apr 12
if this were my child i would go outside for a moment with the child and gently explain to him that we should use our inside voices in the store and taturms aren't going to help you.Then i would give him a hug and a kiss saying how much i love him and finally tell him that that isn't the way to get attion.then i would walk back into the store and if he did another taturm then i would leave the store.I think what you did was right you shouldn't give the child any attion and let the parent tell him what to do.I would have also ingored the child.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
30 Apr 12
Usually, as an employee, I'll speak to a screaming child once and if they continue to scream at least I tried. When I'm out as a shopper I never speak to the parent or child because I worry they'll get offended and protective. I try to avoid confrontation.
I always take my so outside if he gets to screaming and won't stop.
@ladyhemingway (965)
• Philippines
29 Apr 12
I am not yet a parent, so as a shopper, if ever I encounter some child screaming inside a store where I am peacefully purchasing, I'd get a bit irritated. Especially if it sounded as if someone is being eaten by something and the guardian of the child doesn't seem to care. I am not against the way people discipline their children but I always hope that they will be sensitive enough to consider other people around them. Not everyone is interested in hearing someone's child screaming when all we wanted to do was to shop in peace.
While I respect the fact that when a child is throwing tantrums the best way to deal with it is to ignore them, the mother could have at least take the child out of the store so that they won't be bothering anyone else.
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
30 Apr 12
I'm okay with a single scream or squeal, but the ongoing and often ignored temper tantrums to bother me. I feel they should go outside.
Lots of people use the excuse that they are in check out line and cant go outside...but they can always leave their stuff and come back to it, they just dont respect others enough to wait in line again. Goodness knows I've had to do it once or twice because while my son is mostly well behaved he is in the "terrible twos" stage of life.
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
Having been the mother, and the store worker, it a catch 22. My children were picked up and escorted out. Then home. Purchases abandoned, sorry as I left a shopping cart behind. The offending child did not repeat the performance.
