Waiter.......There's A Guy In My Soup!

@sconibear (8005)
United States
May 2, 2012 3:40pm CST
HA HA! Actually this discussion has nothing to do with waiters or soup......I just thought it was a funny title... Anyhoo, this discussion is about choosing the proper seasonings when cooking a meal. I just have a couple of questions....but first let me set the scenario: You work for a company that supplies cooking equipment to the military and other groups that have to live and work in harsh, desolate conditions. One particular black-ops paramilitary group has requested an order consisting of several solar powered ovens and a shipping container full of nearly every spice available, dehydrated of course. You agree to accompany the shipment.....really just to get out of work and go on a airplane ride. It's just you and the pilot, we'll call him Stu. Anyways, before you reach your destination, the plane goes down and crashes on a deserted island....before going down the pilot sends out a mayday to your company but is told a rescue attempt can not be made for at least 3 months. The 2 of you find a source of fresh water but there's absolutely no food to be found on this island.....no fish...no animals...no edible plants...NOTHING! So a month passes and you're STARVING...and Stu's not looking too good (actually he's starting to look real good...kind of like in the cartoons where the guy starts to look like a giant hot dog). A couple of days later, Stu dies. Even though it's something you don't really want to do, you know there's NO WAY you can survive another 2 months without eating something......soooooo.......you break out one of the solar ovens and start giving Stu a nice braise followed by a slow roasting. So my questions: What kind of spices do you use? Red wine or white? What part do you eat first? Please tell me......I'm hungry.....
1 person likes this
8 responses
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
3 May 12
Well your not going to be able to eat stu all at once & you don't want him to go bad. I'd recomend making stu jerky. Most of the meat would be good for that. The brain & other organs should be eaten fresh & seasoned to taste. Try something different each meal.
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
3 May 12
Stu jerky actually sounds pretty good.......I wonder if you have to clean a human before cooking it...
@uath13 (8227)
• United States
3 May 12
About like you would a pig. Gut em, boil the hair off & start butchering.
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
3 May 12
.....again.....
• Singapore
4 May 12
Just before I start the fire, an ocean liner came by and rescued us (me from cannibalism and Stu from becoming Stew, bless him), reporters were onboard and I ended up writing an international bestseller, "How I Was 1 Step Short of Becoming A Cannibal - Real Life Account".
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
4 May 12
You were the lucky one......the only person in this whole discussion that got rescued!
• Singapore
4 May 12
and I made money from it too LOL!
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
3 May 12
Eeek..You Cannibal.. I am a vegan..and hungry or not..I dont relish non-vegetarian food. So in all probability I would be the one Stu would be eating - not the other way round. :)
@vandana7 (57187)
• India
3 May 12
How can you come up with something so
@Hatley (157862)
• Garden Grove, California
2 May 12
he he oh my gosh help Thats cannablism how can one do that? I really do not think I could go for roast stu unless of course I am on hthis island but surely if the island has fresh water it has to have plant life. I think I would search for some edible plant life and bury stu also as its an island there's water like an ocean and in the ocean are fish of all sorts. I would fashion a fishing pole and a line of some sort and fish and live on fish. Let Stu be buried and lie in peace.with water and fish and somr vegetation I would not die but also would not be eating human flesh.Perhaps you did not make a thorough investigation of the vegetation and I would try various plants to find something edible.Sp I use all kinds of spices on my various fish I ha ve caught and try not to think of roast Stu or stuburgers or stu soup. fish is good for you. and I wo uld also make fires to alert any passing ships or planes so I would not stay there for months.someone will find me and rescue me.
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
2 May 12
HATLEY, IT'S MY MADE UP STORY AND I SAID NO FISH, NO ANIMALS, NO EDIBLE PLANTS, AND DEFINITELY NO PEANUT BUTTER!!! .....I'm sorry for yelling Hatley... I wubble you!
@Rosekitty (19500)
• San Marcos, Texas
2 May 12
Poor Patsy..Mr Bear is being funny as always..
• Philippines
3 May 12
Goodness. I'd rather wish I went first. :(
• United States
3 May 12
Normally I would say a rump roast, but since presumably he hasn't eaten in a month, I would say a belly roast would probably be the best place to start, especially since that should be the most tender. Then again, if he was very muscular and did not have a lot of belly fat, then I guess that would not work too well.
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
3 May 12
B R A A A A A I N S ! ! ! .......sorry......I had a zombie moment there...
@missybear (11396)
• United States
3 May 12
Since most everything tastes like chicken and I love the chickens butt , I would start with the butt {lots of Garlic and Pepper}and work my way out through the other side.....Never had Fried balls with Paprika and Salt and Pepper HAVE YOU?
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
3 May 12
FRIED BALLS?!? hope you're not getting any ideas...
@Rosekitty (19500)
• San Marcos, Texas
2 May 12
Burp..just had meatloaf and baked pot..sorry..now onto a brownie..yummmm..want some?
@sconibear (8005)
• United States
3 May 12
I can haz a brownie? ....Ooooh......and maybe some of that baked pot....