she's wearing my shirt!!!!!

May 3, 2012 1:52pm CST
I have this roommate and later became my friend way back college. She is friendly and funny, i don't have anything against her until one day i found out she was wearing my shirt without my permission and i just kept my self and have patience. the next time at school I saw her wearing my cap and it worries me.I don't like that my stuff will be use by other unless its emergency. I keep rehearsing in myself on how i am going to confront her on this thing so that she will be able to understand without hurting her that much.I talked to her during our usual time in the room and told her my reasons...thanks God she understand and even thanking me of doing so.
2 people like this
15 responses
• Philippines
5 May 12
It is a good thing that your friend understand it right away. If I were on your situation, the first time I ever encounter a room mate using my things without permission, I will confront her right there and then. No, I am not going to put up a fight, but I will make it clear to her that using other people's things without permission is not right. This is to avoid further arguments in the future.
@celticeagle (118583)
• Boise, Idaho
5 May 12
Boundaries, my dear, boundaries! If you don't set them down immediately you might as well forget it. If you act like you don't care either will they. People need to respect one another and obviously this doesn't. She needs to know that you do care whether she wears your things or not. The correct way to act is to ask first. If she doesn't know that then you need to educate her!
@hgwyneth (120)
• Philippines
4 May 12
Well good for you. You were able to converse her in a very diplomatic way. Most of the time, it's the best way to talk to people to make them understand than to let them guess what she made you mad. There's always a good outcome in opening your mind to someone especially if you didn't mean hurting him or her.
@KrauseHome (35293)
• United States
4 May 12
This is Good, especially since you have become good friends with her. For her to understand your reasoning behind it without any of you having to get upset is always the Best. Personally that way you will have more of an understanding of what you really expect and for things to be better hopefully from here on out.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
4 May 12
whew! i know that was a relief. it's hard to know exactly how to deal with that kind of stuff sometimes. i hate having to tell people difficult things. perhaps she just felt more comfortable with you than you exepected. it's great that she understood and that you were candid with her, without hurting her feelings.
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
4 May 12
That's what most of the roommates experience. But for the sake of personal stuffs, it's better to ask for the owner before using their stuffs, right? No matter how close you are. Or just a roommate, it's still appropriate to ask than just take it and wear it... Well, for me, I don't like having my clothes or other things been borrowed specially without asking permissions... It's not a right attitude to have... personal hygienes can also be a factor for that. If it's a sister, it's okay, but then if it's a friend or just a roommate, I may have doubts unless how close we are or what size she is than me...
@lady1993 (18609)
• Philippines
4 May 12
she really is a good friend then, for understanding you and talking to you. What was the reason she wore your stuff without permission anyway? Even if you are friends- she should always ask for permission if she borrows anything.
• India
4 May 12
I think it is find very usual to share the things if there is a emergency but I feel that it is quite usual to borrow others material if she have the same and it is very important to have the permission of the owner before having them. These are the some of the manners which we should learn in the childhood days.
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
4 May 12
I really don't want anyone who wear my shirt or cap except my family members. Even my helmet, i also don't want to use as public property with who is not my family member. I scare i may got an infection if that person has a body odour, scabies, fungus, etc.. She is not nice when wear your shirt and cap without permission. However, you talk to her and she understands for it. It is happy for both of you. I hope that she wont do like that again.
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
4 May 12
I hate it when people go through my stuff without asking permission. When I borrow stuff from people, I ask permission. I think it's a basic etiquette on courtesy. But, even then, I hate that other people wear my clothes. Other stuff I can let them borrow, but not things that are intimately personal. It's good you were able to talk to her about it. Otherwise, it would cause you to resent her very much. And, it's a good thing that she understands.
3 May 12
Sometimes we my go awry if there are people, whether it's close friend of his own doing or wearing something that belong to us without telling to us first. but as long as is good for him, not hurt, when we let it. And if it's repeated often, and become a habit for him. Of course, we should have to admonish and advise him :D
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
3 May 12
At least you have a friend who acknowledges, understands and appreciates your preferences. That actually shows that she may not be ruthless and jerky, but she may not have known that it's bad... it all depends on the upbringing. There is a friend of mine who wasn't taught to say thank you if she gets something, another friend just didn't say hello to salespeople when she walks into the stores, but they are not rude people naturally. So it"''s still the better option, There are so many downright rude, self-centered people. Oh, and I just hate it when takes any stuff of mine without permission... that's kind of hurting my private sphere. I don't really take it well from my family even, when they take my stuff, especially clothes and more expensive things, like my laptop.
• United States
3 May 12
I had the same problem but with my sister and she is a lot bigger then I am so when she wears my stuff she makes it bigger it upsets me and I try to tell her but now she just takes it and keeps it.. I had a dress that would be nice in this hot weather but she ripped it because it did NOT fit her! grr makes me mad.
@spazz435 (323)
• United States
3 May 12
I think that when you are in situations like living with other people, you have to let them know that there are boundaries and rules to the way that you live and the way you want them to treat your things. Not saying that everyone is like this, but I know that if someone were to wear my things I find it almost disgusting because I don't know what they are doing while their wearing my stuff. Your things are private to you and it's not right for someone to go invade your privacy like that. You need to let her know that she is not allowed to wear your things without your permission. It's an invasion of privacy.
@GemmaR (8526)
3 May 12
When I lived with four other girls, there was always trouble because people who decide to borrow things from each other without bothering to ask whether it was alright first. I think that no matter how close you think you are to a person, you should always ask before you take anything because you just don't know whether you're going to be taking something that they were planning to use that day. Make it clear to her that you needed the shirt, and that you would much prefer it if she were to ask you before borrowing things in the future.