Being sure of what you want is important for being happy

wow! This is just unbelievable Vandana! I never did really think this day would come[touch wood may the good times last and your father lives many more years with this pleasant sensible frame of mind]Truly, here we see God's hand because I don't think it is humanly possible. I was absolutely delighted to read what you have written.Coax him to have his medical check up too.What else is there for you to need now? What you say is right; how can this happiness be measured at all? I am very happy for you and sincerely pray for a long period of good relationship henceforth.

You would be surprised how many people are focused on what others have and dont. And they want what others have and if they have something more they go ahead and ridicule. Yes there are ample things that we want which are not monetarily measurable. Peace and quiet, and physical and mental security are a few to name. I relish my first cup of tea in the morning and I prefer absolute bliss - with old songs being played on the good old radio. We dont talk at that time Kala. This was not the case just a few months ago. :) Dad and me shared this routine almost 35 odd years ago. And it has re-entered our lives and it feels so nice! Dad is also calmer. And now he has changed his mind about nano. :) All on his own. He has started thinking for himself and me..something he never did in the past. Lot of change in him after discovering those GPA documents on which he'd signed without knowing what they were. He realized it was not only the house, it was a couple of acres of land as well that he lost. So he is feeling very guilty for having destroyed that and even my mother's properties. And has realized how relatives have been treating him as a menial after taking all that away from him, and ridiculing me at every opportunity. Nowadays he apologizes to me at times. He says he should have listened to me at least some 25 odd years. Things would have been different. I am so touched. This is not monetary. This is finding the relationship. He realised he and ma were just used as pawns - coerced into marriage for taking away properties. Had both of these people married outside family - my aunt wouldnt have had access to those properties. In the process my mother lost her life. Dad regrets that. He has even apologized for that. Life is certainly a whole lot better now Kala. God bless all of you who have been with me during this tough period. Its been a great moral support. That is not materialistic, is it? But to know that somebody who can understand you - when all relatives have labeled you as materialistic and laughed at what happened in childhood as something insignficant. Yes, it matters to be blessed with good people, even if they are very far. I have learnt how to count my blessings. Thanks to you all.

ryanong, I have been through hell the last couple of years, four years and eight months to be precise. A lot of pain I have shared with myLotters. They've been with me through thick and thin. Depression - I am sorry to say - I dont really understand it. I mean, there never was a moment even with the worst stuff going on in my mind - when I felt it was futile living. I wanted to get even, I wanted to cry, I wanted to fight, and I wanted to ask god why and many such things but never I dont want to live anymore. I think the word is used indiscriminately. Not everybody goes through depression when they no longer feel like living. Hard time, yes, I too hope god will give you strength to overcome the hard time. My pains disappeared miraculously. I hope yours too. I will pray for you with my whole heart ryanong. You will be happy soon enough.

sids - less stress - you said it. When you orient yourself towards less stress, you automatically orient yourself towards what you want and how best you can achieve it. People who opt for less stress today can face more stress tomorrow for not planning for it. So knowing what you want is the first step. Once you know what you want, you automatically start planning for it. :)

Hi Sids, Gr8 I like the new name of Sids Mahal hope everything is fine with you. Take care.

Why oh why on earth is my Jen so sad.. Ok..here is one thing that you can think of.. Make a few good friends in different parts of the world ..like in India, in Hyderabad, you can come and stay with me. Mine is not the best accommodation in the world, but you are not going to stay home when you come, are you? You only need it to freshen up, sleep, and visit places out here. So your hotel bill to Hyderabad is zero - no taxes either. :) Food, you can adjust to whatever I dare to call edible. Come on..it is only a short while. In any event, you can always get a bread out here, and a few eggs and make do with them and a few fruits if you cant stomach my cooking (I am honest - even I find it difficult to eat my cooking). Like that - 10 places in the world..you can return the hospitality when others chose to drop by to your place. There are quite a few folks decreasing their travel bills that way. :)

Wow, thank you for the offer Vandy... I have friends in India... you are one of them... I think I can sponge my friends off with something like accommodations and meals, but I still need money for air tickets and for the sightseeing. I am not really sad nor complaining here, I am just trying to tolerate what is happening now and to be comfortable with it. By the way, I still don't get my new laptop so my communications with friends overseas (usually with Skype) are doomed now...

You ask the impossible lady!!!

This happens when you dont really know what you want. :) Perhaps you didnt really spend sometime deciding on what you really want in your life..