Let me ask mom first...

@ryanong (9695)
Vietnam
May 19, 2012 1:51am CST
I have a friend who is in love now. However, she is very frustrated with her boyfriend. He always says: let me ask mom first whenever he does something. Go shopping together and she chooses a shirt for him, he likes it also but before paying money, he said: let me ask mom first. Then he makes a phone call to ask his mom about buying that shirt, if his mom agrees then he buys it, if she doesn't agree, he wont buy it even though he likes it. Going out with her, buying something, doing something, etc...he never decides himself, he always asks his mom first. My friend said that, she agrees that mom is the greatest woman in our life but as a man, he should decide about his life, what he should do, not his mom. 1 time, 2 times, she was ok with it but it happens many times that she could remember it all. She can't stand it anymore and she is thinking of breaking up with that guy now... How about your opinion about this problem? Should my friend do break up with that guy?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
25 May 12
i think as long as the man did not had an affair, why your friend must stop it? it is his rights for asking his mom.. it is not sin i think...
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
26 May 12
He is not a kid anymore, he is a man already but big boy in his mind only. We women love a real man who can control his life himself. What do you think if that guy asks his mom that should he marry my friend? and his mom say no, then he say No also...and many things else in this life also, what do you do when he always ask his mom and follow her decision?
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
26 May 12
maybe..who knows.. so if your friend did not like her boyfriend, just say bye bye..
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
27 May 12
Ya, but all because of the love then she has to think carefully before say good bye to him...
@Mashnn (4503)
20 May 12
The guy seems to be so attached to his mom that he cannot make a decision by his own. This is just a early sign of what might happens incase they get married. His mum will be the one to take control of life. I think the girl should take her time and decide whether she want to live with such a person. By the way, is he aware of what he is doing is wrong?
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
No, he thinks it is a right way. My friend was angry many times with it because anything he asks his mom for the final decision. If his mom said no, he said no. I told my my friend that i can't stand with a man like him...She is still thinking because of the love even though i used to hear she told she can't stand it also.
@Mashnn (4503)
20 May 12
If he knows and he is not willing to change then the girl should part way with such a person. No one want to marry such a man. I guess we all want "real men".
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
Ya, we need a real man who can do care his own family later, he can control his life himself. If i were her, i could leave that guy already..., i would rather be single than live with a mama's boy like that.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
19 May 12
I feel sorry for your friend for having a bf who is a mama's boy. If your friend really loves the guy let her speak to the guy that she finds his asking to his mom all the time a turn off. Let them talk about it, if the guy changes after their talk, maybe he really does love your friend and willing t take the mommy think into a minimum.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
She used to talk him about it but he won't change his act at all. I think it is his character..and cant be changed... That's why my friend is so frustrating about it.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
20 May 12
That's sad. And I believe that will be too hard when the relationship goes into the next level. Maybe he will be asking his mom if it's good to ask the girl to get married and the mom would say no, what will happen then . Well, if your friend really loves the guy, and is willing to take all the "ask mommy thingy", then it's up to her to continue with the relationship. Hopefully she won't say she's had enough when it's already too hard to let the relationship go.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
21 May 12
Ya, it is what i am thinking...if his mom say no, don't married with her then he does follow that his mom said... Currently i don't think she is ok with it, she often blame it with me...I told her think carefully of it because we women need a real man, not a big boy like him...
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
19 May 12
Ask his mom first! lol He should decide everything he wanna do in his life. He is not a kid anymore. It is up to you friend to decide if she want to stick with this guy and if she can handle his attitude to always ask his mom.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
19 May 12
Ya, i could not believe this thing exists since my friend shared with me about her bf. He looks like a kid, always ask his mom first for everything. I think it is not good for my friend, especially in marriage life with him. She may get many troubles with it.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
19 May 12
Yes, that's true.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
27 May 12
I will show my friend this topic...then she will knows that many guys have the same opinion like mine and she will leave that guy soon.
• Philippines
20 May 12
Awww...maybe she need to talk to the guy and tell him what she feels. Sometimes being honest could change everything. I feel bad for your friend but lets hope that both of them learn from this as well.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
21 May 12
I feel bad for my friend also...
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
21 May 12
Well, i really don't ensure that he can change his behavior. He is a mama's boy and even now, he is a man (at age), he can earn money also but everything he asks his mom decision that related to his life: dating, buying, going..blah blah...His mom control his life, not himself. My friend was happy with it because she thinks it is good when he loves his mom a lots, but with the time, she realizes that it is not nice at all when he always as his mom. She told, blame...about it..but that guy still do the same...as if he trust his mom only and his mom's opinion/decision is number 1. I think..something belongs character is not easy to change at all.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
27 May 12
It's a very small reason to break up with a guy. It's best to tell that guy as honestly and as tactfully about his habit with his mom and you should tell this guy's mom about this too, because she is not helping her son become independent. Give the guy a chance to improve himself.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
27 May 12
hmm, my friend told to him many times already, he agrees with it but he never change it after that. You are right when give that guy a chance to improve himself but since he doesn't change ...then what should you do?
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
23 May 12
Well,i think this guy is totally not indepentdant and to be honest,i wouln't choose him if i were your friend.Mom is indeed the greatest person coz they give us the lives,but you are grownups and i think we should all know this,this is kind of unmature.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
23 May 12
Same you, i would not choose him, he is really a big mama's boy. But my friend knows all after being in love with him for a while. So that she is still considering about together with him more or leaving... i think leaving is a good way for my friend in this case..
@aritahime (221)
• Indonesia
21 May 12
hahahaha.. That's funny. How old is he, actually? Honestly, I myself will get annoyed with that kind of guy. I agree, a man should decide his own life. For something very important, maybe it's okay to ask his mom for opinion. But for simple thing like buying a shirt, I don't think that mom should be involved in here. That's childish.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
21 May 12
He is 28 already, not small at all... Ya, it is so funny...I can't stand with a guy who is like him.
• Philippines
20 May 12
I have a friend who was married to a guy like that. Was is the operative word because they are now separated. Good riddance. When they were still together as a boyfriend-girlfriend, she dealt with the issue lightly. She thought that it was sweet that the guy is very fond of his mother. During that time, we already warned her that the guy she was with is indeed a mama's boy which is a turn-off especially at a certain age. But she married the guy and little did she know, it will be hell since. 5 months after marrying the mama's boy, my friend could not take it anymore. The guy wants to ask permission to her parents before buying new appliance to their home, going to place for a honey moon, and all those stuff. It was a mistake on my friend's part and she is regretting being married to the guy who cannot even stand up for her. The mother of the guy told her son to abandon my friend, and clearly that is what he did. For three months, although they were not yet separated, the guy wouldn't even talk to my friend whom he married, just because that is what his mother told him. It is irritating and good thing they are separated now.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
Ya, in the beginning time my friend was ok with it because she thought her bf loves his mom, then it is good. But now, she can't stand it at all. Luckily they are not married yet. I will told her about your friend story, and i hope she can learn from the real story...I really don't want she gets the same situation as your friend's.
@nonersays (2753)
• United States
19 May 12
I don't think it is a relationship ending offense, but she should tell him that he needs to ease up on "mom" a little. Tell him he needs to start acting like a man instead of a little boy. And if he still asks mom about EVERYTHING, then maybe consider breaking up if it really bothers her.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
She used to talk him about it, but he never changes it, still asks his mom for final decisions. Honestly, i can't stand a man like that...
• United States
19 May 12
She should run away as fast as she can. Any adult, male or female, shouldn't be asking their mother what to do in every little facet of their lives. If your friend doesn't leave him now, she's just setting herself up for a life of either bowing to his mother's whims or spending her time and energy fighting a woman who clearly has her son completely under her thumb.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
I think the good way is she should run away from him... How can live with a man who always asks his mom opinion for the final decisions in his life.
• United States
19 May 12
Clearly he loves his mother very much. I think a little too much to be honest. I married a mommas boy and it was not good. so I think she should go ahead and leave him..
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
Love his mom too much is good but he should be a man, an adult, don't ask his mom to solve any problem related to his life like that. You are right, better she should leave that guy....
@sayo13 (414)
• India
19 May 12
ha ha that is really weird my friend and i can understand that how much frustrate your friend must be feeling. but the problem here lies with the parents and not with the boy if you ask me.in childhood it is okay to ask your mom before making any decision and parents do crave for such a child who is so much obedient. but the problem lies when parents forgot to make him realize how it is necessary to make one's own decision in life.Parents are there to make inculcate in you the best of things and believes but ultimately t is you who have to take the control of your life, not them. i have came across many such boys and girls in my life but i must admit that its more irritating when a boy do such things than a girl.but you should tell your friend to make her boyfriend understand the importance of making one's own decision by not hurting his sentiments and his parent's sentiments. In case he refuse to understand and stick to same behavior then its better she take off from the relation, as this kind of relation have no good expectation in future and many complication can arise.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
20 May 12
Thank you for your sharing. You are right, it is nice if a little boy/gal asks mom about their things before going to the final decisions. But in here, he is a man, an adult already, not a little boy any more so that he should decide by himself, not based on his mom decision. Actually the mother should teach him to make a decision by himself and she should let him make a decision even though he asks her. It is not easy to change his act because my friend used to talk him many times about it but he still said: let me ask mom. Sigh, nothings is worse than it.