Running Away

@nonersays (2683)
United States
May 20, 2012 10:13pm CST
Life has become very stressful for me lately. Since the first of the year I've had several bad things happen in my life, all very close together, and I'm very close to reaching a breaking point of my own. Tonight, I went outside to take the laundry to the dryer (my dryer is in my pantry outside of my house) and on the way back in I just stopped. The wind was blowing, and the air was cool instead of hot (its very hot in my house). It was very quiet. No TV blaring, no baby crying. It was a peaceful moment, but I knew it wouldn't last. All of a sudden it just felt like to much, and I wanted to run away. Instead of going in the house, back into the stress and the havoc, I wanted to walk out the back gate, down the street and never come back again. I thought, briefly, it would be nice to run away where nobody knew me and start a whole new life. Have you ever felt that way before? Do you think you ever would really do it? If so, where do you think you would go? Would you ever go home again?
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
21 May 12
I have felt like that. It is unfortunate that I never would do it. I have no children. I have no ties that bind me to where I am. However, I could never fail those who count on me. Even regular responsibilities like my job would be hard to turn away from. I blame being raised with good ethics. Remember that breaking down is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you have been strong for far too long. Take a moment and have yourself a good cry. You'll feel better.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
21 May 12
I think the only think keeping me from running away IS my son. My job lost my loyalty when they cut my hours AND my pay after my working there nearly 7 years now. My husband is part of my stress. My dad passed away in Feb, and the woman who was my mother figure passed away not quite a year ago. The only people who I might miss (other than my son) would be my brothers, but as much as I love them, I don't think they would be enough to hold me here. I've had a good cry. Several in fact. They help for a while, but since the stress is ongoing its a short lived remedy. As soon as I emerge from the bathroom (where I usually hide to cry) everything is RIGHT THERE.
1 person likes this
@doniep (99)
• Philippines
21 May 12
Life is a challenge.. and you can never turn away from that!! it will make you strong and more mature.. having those kind of situation means that you have a life rather done dont have nothing on it!! it is a meaning that you are living the life. I know that there are some stressful moments, but that moments you got is something to live for! Fortunately i am like you, no ties that binds me no kids to be held responsible, but i got my own family that loves me and i love them in return! challenges in life must not be discourage, it works on the world and the way you handle it, it is how you run the world of your own! there may be ups and downs but it is how your world works in your life.. istead of giving up you have to embrace it. Yes, breaking down is not a sign of a weakness, it is a sign that you need to be up and awake and be more stronger than how you used to be. It is a sign that you need another tactics to cope up with it! but it doesnt mean that your life is not good! Life is good when you get to know how you live with it!! Have faith and go with the flow, you are wiser than the stress in life, you can handle life.do not let life handle over you!! Life is ours to handle.
@GardenGerty (92432)
• Marion, Kansas
21 May 12
When my job lost my loyalty, I began planning an escape from it. I started taking training to get me a career that would take me out of there. I did a lot of other things after that. Some that paid quite a bit more. I still miss that particular job, but not what it has become. I talk to people who were there longer than I was and it continued to get worse. I have also abandoned ship on two jobs in the last three years because they were more stress than they were worth. I allowed myself to be promoted beyond my comfort level and my sanity. That is running away too.
21 May 12
the one that i remember is i was about to kill my self 6years ago because tons of problems in my life, nut then again i think that my family would be so lost without me, about how would they miss me, how would they feels sad about me, and me myself, still have lots thing that i want to do in this life so i just throw away that thought from my mind and i started to go to the monastery because i am a buddhist. i feel very free and calm in the monastery and i feel i can throw all my thoughts in there so every time i feels very stuck i always go to monastery to pray. if not that i always ride my motor cycle around the city just to feel the wind blows and relax my self for a moment. every people need some break and for me, being alone with myself is the best thing i can have.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
22 May 12
I think there is only one person left my family who would even care if I killed myself, but I couldn't do that to my son. I coudln't run away and leave him either, and I cant run away with him. Sometimes I just feel so stuck.... I can't even drive, most less ride a motorcycle.
22 May 12
we all survive for the one that we love, people that we love, our family, our friends, our beloved one, me for my family, you for your son, we all do, of course you can't leave him, he needs you the most, he would be so lost without you, so you have to survive, do the best for him and for yourself, not even that, sometimes, when we see people that we love so happy, smiling, and other things than that, it just can give us some strength to keep surviving in this cruel kind of world, i feel so thankful i didn't killed my self 6years ago, because now i realized, there's still so many people love me in this world, in this life, and i can be tough with them by my side, sometimes you might feel that you are alone in this world, no one you can trust, no one can help you, but trust me, outside you sight, out there, there's still so many people that are facing a lots of harder problems than we're facing now, and we actually so feel really lucky and blessed, because we survive, until this moment, and that indirectly tell us, that we're stronger than them who have 'give up' far before us, and if we can survive now, means we can survive again and again! you might never know how strength ourself have, but trust me, we are never alone, out there, someone we know or don't, love us, and care for us, really.. :)
22 May 12
oh i forgot to tell you something, it doesn't matter wether you can drive or not, you can ride bicycle or even just walk around the small path around the place you live, or even sitting in the side of the road to see people passing by and feel the environment, i can sit hours in the bus stop in front of my office just to watch people crossed by, cars, lamps, the rain, the cold, the environment, and thinking, about my problems, and any other things than that, the one that important is we enjoy the moment with ourself, we're free for some kind of hours, and after that, we realized that we still have to survive and face the other problems, but it's okay, because after having some quality time with ourself, we'll find some stronger spirit from inside of us, trust me, you will!! :D
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
27 May 12
hi nonersays I felt like this a lot of times. Mainly in the very stressful time between Feb 2010 and May 2011 when I often thought I want to drop what I am doing cause its not really needed and not appreciated and I want to get out of that race and want to go home where I belong. Due to a personal problem I had to stay a 3,5 hour train ride from my home during the work week and would have liked to pack up there and go home any time Hindsight told me it would sure have been beneficial to me and my husband had I chosen that road of just closing a door behind me then and getting home at least half a year earlier than what I really did. No one said thanks, instead I was mocked and made fun of as a thank you and no one deserves this. So I can understand you well. Maybe you should take some quiet 30 minutes take a big sheet of paper with you and write out the pros and cons of your situation to see clearer and th en try to change something .........
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
28 May 12
Feeling unappreciated is one of the worst feelings in the world.
• Lippstadt, Germany
28 May 12
yes nonersays and when it comes from the own family you were born and raised in it hurts double as much. They really should know better and appreciate more.....
21 May 12
We always longing for home, hope you'll home again, I mean home is not just a house, home is in your heart, peaceful moments in your heart is your home. Knowing God and realize that you're not alone, and you know who you are, and know the purpose of life and try to do the useful things to your family, and the others is your home.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
21 May 12
My heart is not a very warm and loving home, sadly. My home feels too, too, too far away since my dad passed.
21 May 12
My dad has passed several years ago. He's home. And we'll be going home..someday. Do the useful things when you can in life.
@averygirl72 (15642)
• Philippines
21 May 12
This caught my attention. I actually like what you say that..... would it be nice to run away where nobody knew me and start a whole new life? I have thought about that and yes that is a good idea if you want to break the pattern of stress. I am like that. It is really nice to run away or move somewhere, change your lifestyle, change your residence, because it can create a lot of change and break the pattern of stress. If our situation has shattered us into pieces, feel free to move on and start a whole new life again.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
22 May 12
I think I would run away if I could. But I can't leave my son. And I can't take him if I run.
• United States
21 May 12
I did leave and I went to my mans house and I stayed nine months. I was so fed up with the crap going on in my house. I am happy to be back home and my child is gone.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
22 May 12
I love my child. I just with I could make my man magically go away most of the time.
• United States
21 May 12
I have wanted to "run-away' several times in my life. Yes, our lives can get very stressful sometimes, all I did was think of how sad my children would be with Mommy not there and I looked to the sky, told God, "Thank You for giving me my children,' because of Him, I have a purpose in life. I went back to my stressful day and continued on. I do get overwhelmed with my life from time to time, but I realized how bored I would be all the time if I did not have the life that I have become accustomed to. Maybe you can get a family member or a trusted friend to watch your child(s) while you take a mini-vacation from your every day life. Good Luck and remember...You are loved and needed more than you know...Hang in there:-)
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
22 May 12
My child is the only think keeping me here right now. I can't get a mini-vacation. Not even a few hours to myself. My mother in law is more than willing to watch my son, but my husband is ALWAYS home.
@GardenGerty (92432)
• Marion, Kansas
21 May 12
I attended a two year, church sponsored college in the 70's. It had some very challenging professors and I benefited very much from it. Meanwhile, I had a boyfriend/fiance in the Navy, with a recurring problem with depression. I was always short of money (story of my life) and my parents were good parents, but poor marriage partners, plus there were other things going on in my family. Yes, I wanted to run away. This was a school where there were time ins, and room checks and curfews, so I even went so far as to figure out what time of day I could leave on the weekend, especially, and go the longest before they would start trying to locate me. I never did it. I would have had no skills to live on at that time. There have been other times. Later when married the first time, when I felt there were problems, I always felt like I could run away and live on my grandparent's farm with them. It would not solve any problem, and would really have not been good for me, but it was a fantasy of escape. I do not want to run away anymore. I have been through harder things than I ever imagined and I have come out a winner on the other side. I will say, though, that my computer is my escape if I am too stressed.
@nonersays (2683)
• United States
21 May 12
Sadly my computer isn't as much of an escape as it used to be. Instead of relaxing and playing farmville I'm constantly online trying to earn a few extra dollars to make up for what I'm no longer making at work, and hoping ot have a little left over to spend on myself.
@Shellyann36 (8564)
• United States
28 May 12
There have been many times when I have wanted to run away over the years. Stresses in life can sometimes just push us over the edge. I have wondered what it would be like to be someone new and different with none of my normal problems. The only problem with that is we are humans and no matter what, we will never be problem free. I hope that things start looking up for you. Sending internet hugs!