My friend wants to move in with me :/

@911Ricki (13602)
Canada
May 22, 2012 9:27am CST
My ex coworker and friend mentioned this yesterday and I know my answer already. I told her no and told her my cats dont get along with other cats. This is the lady who got the cat and cant afford it. I know if I moved in with her I would end up paying for everything. She would say Ill pay next time, and she will try to act like my Mother. I know it would turn out bad so I declined. I personally would rather live by myself, or someone that works constantly or opposite shifts as me. But Ive always had roomates while renting and I think I want my own space, and do as I please not trying to work around others. Another girl I use to work with asked me as well. Now I dont mind her and I know she pays her bills. But again she would be home constantly, and just get on my nerves. I like my space, and me time quiet night sitting online, or even cleaning. I was nice and told them no I cant afford it right now, my cats wont like your cat, and so on. I just want to be responsible for the bills not depend on others if its split its just stressful.
3 people like this
8 responses
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
23 May 12
You did right, i think. Say no is the best decision since she is like that. She has to know to pay her bills herself, can't just depend on the others...
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
23 May 12
I agree but everyone will lend her money, or feel sorry for her to buy things. On numerous occassions Ive spent more money, and she owes me money as it is. She wants people to feel sorry for her, and Im not doing that or spending my hard earned money when she doesnt help herself.
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
24 May 12
We can do 1-2 times only, i think. She is not nice at all, better she should stand on her foot herself.
• United States
22 May 12
You are definitely doing the right thing ! As a cat owner myself, I put them up as priorities the same way that you are doing. They deserve to be just as happy and relaxed as we are. Good for you for thinking of them so highly. :) I also like my space, it can be such a huge factor in how happy we are in our day-to-day lives. Good luck in the future !
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
23 May 12
I agree I dont want to have to worry and stress while Im at work hoping they dont do or let my cats out. They can sense that in you and just stress them out (which my cats are prone on getting sick with stress).
• United States
22 May 12
If you can afford to live alone I would say it will be the best. Because you seem to have problems with everyone you are around. so,having your own space is best. But,just so you know cats will get along with each other after they have learned that they both will reside there. I have had cats all my life and at first they don't get laong. afterwards they are so wonderful together. so if at all possible don't use te cats as a reason to say no. tell them the truth it is them and their ways. take care.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
22 May 12
I was telling her that my cats already live and share spaces with others cats now. They get along with most other animals thats not my issue. I just like my space, and me time. I mean after a long day at work I want to sit and relax not having someone nagging me. I know the first lady would be there 24 hours a day 7 days a week. She wouldnt leave me alone and act like my Mother. She gets under my skin as I cant seem to take a sh*t without her following me. She wouldnt pay her share of bills, or food she would say Ill get it next time and wont. I already know I couldnt live with her more than a week. The other girl is a lot like me but she is a partier and I like my quiet time when I come home from work. Call me anti social but people get on my nerves especially if their stupid. I think its best for me to just look for my own place and I dont have to worry about others. I know the first lady I would be stressing over my cats if I went to work as she doesnt care for animals, and lets them out and hits them. I am looking for a part time or even full time job and Im off to the races. Its $795 - $995 for a 2 bedroom depending on the town, and whats included which isnt bad as 1 bedroom is $100 or so cheapier.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
22 May 12
I think it is about time that you have your own space if you want it. You have put up with too much living with others. I would say no as well.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
22 May 12
In college my roomates knew when I got up and went to my room means leave me alone.. It wasnt bad but many dont understand that and I know the two that asked me wouldnt understand until I got so annoyed and pissed I leave. The one doesnt pay her share, and cant stand a few hours with her. She reminds me of my grandmother she mooches off everyone, and basically there all the time or go here or there I perfer my time and not be around people. The other is very similar to me but shes more of a partier, but she does pay her bills but I just couldnt see it working we would be arguing too much. Ive been looking at 2 bedrooms apartment (which are about $100 more than 1 bedroom in my eyes its cheapier once your figure it out). Im trying to get a part time or full time job then I can be off to the races.
• United States
23 May 12
I think it is great that you had declined your friend's offers. I had roommates myself in the past and they never worked out. My roommmates always expected me clean up after them and cook them dinner. One time my roommate had the nerve to lie to the police that I had left obscene messages on her phone (when she was the one who did it and I had proof, but the police did not want to hear them). I told the police that I was at work and that my friend and co-worker can vouch for me because she took me home that night because Randy was working late and my co-worker did not want me to walk home late at night. The police did not believe me. Then at 11PM I was sleeping on the couch waiting for Randy to come and see me after he got off from work (he did this every night he worked) and there was a knock at the door. I thought it was him, but it turned out to be my roommmates boyfriend who barged into the house and started cussing at me and I told him I was going out and he said "sit down". I said, "well, I know how stupid you are, but I am a human being not a dog. I know you talk to your girlfriend like a dog, but that does not give you the right to treat me that way". I had walked to Randy's work and told him what was going on and we drove back to my apartment to make sure that nothing was broken (he went in and I sat in the car his friend followed us to make sure that I would not get hurt). I ended up staying the night at his house and the next day the landlord comes over and says that I had five days to get out because the police showed up and I said I was at work and my roommate left me harassing messages, it was not me. I said here is a copy of the police report and the landlord would not read it. Ever since this bad experiece I had moved in with an elderly lady and did housework in exchange for free room. Then when she went into a nursing home I moved into an apartment until Randy's mom got sick then I moved in with her and Randy. So, needeless to say I do not blame you for not wanting to move in with other people. It is hard paying your own bills, but worse when others do not pay their way and expect you to pay their bills as well.
• Philippines
22 May 12
I would do the same if i were you. Living with different people is so uncomfortable as if you have lost some of your freedom. You will have always somebody to consider to and it seems that you could not do what you want freely. Besides, what if they could pay, who will pay. I have been into that situation when i was still a student and living with other students in a boarding house. It was a sacrifice and i don't want it to happen again.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
22 May 12
Good for you. I can certainly understand the need for space. We all need space from time to time. Too much togetherness will drive you crazy and also alter your friendship. You did the right thing and I'm sure eventually they will both understand.
@roberten (3131)
• United States
22 May 12
Good for you! I think it a wish choice to move out on your own, whatever troubles you endure will be your own and that will make them easier to take. Everybody wants to be your roommate because they know you are responsible. They know by the stories you've told them about others you've lived with that no matter what, you will always come through when it comes to the bills, food, etc. You are hot roommate material, very desirable; especially for lazy or cheap people. If you start to get a soft heart and begin to consider letting someone room with you, remember this: "You don't need anyone to help you do badly, you can do that all by yourself."