I don't know what I would do without him..

United States
May 22, 2012 11:51am CST
I almost bust out crying a second ago. I was just upset about last night. I was crying after my daughter left and I said I don't know how to live with this pain. Then adrian said,that if I bring her back here I just went to court for nothing and next time we ma both leave in handcuffs. I then went to get the phone to call a friend. I heard him packing up his stuff. I said,what are you doing. I heard him say I am leaving I can't take this anymore. I ran and hid his car keys..LOL After I was done with the phone call I had stopped crying and went to watch tv with him. then after a short while I removed his sneakers and he laid on the bed. We did not say a word about the situation. he just got in the bed and we watched tv. Today,he asked was I taking her back in. I just ignored it and now he is outside some where. he will pick me up to go get my cd's. I don't know what I would do if he gets up and leaves. I am so glad to have his support. He is right about it all. I missed court becausewe both over slept. I had a week to serve her and that is done so I will wait on a letter in the mail.
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
22 May 12
Hi Sharon, I think you should reassure him that you aren't taking her back in. That you may let her bathe and eat if she needs to but you will not let her stay there with you. He is your lifeline right now and he is very tolerant, I think in many ways, but there is just so much abuse he can see you put yourself through. I hope he won't leave you. If he truly loves you he will be tolerant enough to know you need to cry sometimes ... you wouldn't be human if you didn't have rough emotions over this.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 12
We just talked about it over the phone. He said,I don' have anything to be upset over being the case is dropped because we missed court. I told him I know what I need to do it just hurts me getting there. Thanks for helping me. Take care.
@GardenGerty (102534)
• United States
22 May 12
You need to tell him what you tell us. He is the one who needs to hear this.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
22 May 12
how do you know for sure the papers will come in the mail when you didn't even bother to show up. Here the case would have been dismissed.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
22 May 12
Here it would have been dissmissed too. I think she should go to the court and check it out. Of course she doesn't have to tell KK that it got dismissed but she does need to make sure that she doesn't get put back on the lease.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
26 May 12
Wow, the fact that you missed court could mean that you will ultimately end up in trouble for not showing up on your court date. Now, I also know what you mean about not knowing what you would do without Adrian because it has been something that I've worried about with my husband a lot in this last year because of his illnesses and then his addiction. I really don't think that I could do it all on my own.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
24 May 12
I'm glad that you hurriedly hide his keys. lol But I know It is only word from Adrian and he is not really leaving you. Your really lucky to have him.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
23 May 12
Oh you should give him an assurance that you won't take her back in, I guess Adrian also needs some peace of mind as well. You are lucky to have someone who will support you.
@roberten (3131)
• United States
22 May 12
During stressful times, put aside your heart and think with your head. Do what is right, not necessarily what's easy. Love has nothing to do with right. No matter what you chose, it will be hurtful. Do the right thing.
@celticeagle (119864)
• Boise, Idaho
22 May 12
I am sure he is affected by all of this. Sometimes there doesn't need to be any words. I know you will make the right decision. Your emotions are hard on him. I am sure he will be there to support you to do the right thing. It isn't easy to see someone you love go through such as this.
@laken02 (3067)
• United States
22 May 12
wow you have alot on your mind i know, but what ever you do dont push adrian away, you will need him now more then ever, it will be hard on you , i wont lie, but you must remember like me, im goinmg thur it as well, but i know that she made her decision and she chosses to live that way, so you cant help someone who dont want your help, but one day dakota and kay will both grow up and see there mistakes, all we can do now is pray God keeps them safe.. and let them go live there lives right or wrong, and if i were you i would n ot let kay back in my home again unless she had rules to go by that you make.. and that she obeyed these rules.. it is up to you, but right now she has not had time to learn her lesson.. all she knows is now , mom will take me back when ever i want.. and that should not be the case.. take care :)
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
22 May 12
I'm sorry to hear that you missed court and the case got dropped. Now does this mean that you have to go through that whole process again OR would they be able to reschedule?
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
22 May 12
Your boyfriend is absolutely right. If you allow your daughter to move back in you went to court for nothing. You have to look at the other side of the situation. As a mother you want the best for your child and constantly worry about their safety and well being. BUT there comes a time that you HAVE to let go and allow your child to learn on their own. You will see her at her worst, but to take her in would be a huge mistake. Your daughter is struggling but she is going to make it on her own. If you brought her back into your home she would resent you even more and things would be much worse. In fact the situation could erupt into deadly violence that could put one or the other of you in prison for many many years. You also have to look at the fact that your daughter is "playing" you. By coming home with a pizza or two and then wrapping them in foil in front of you is to make you feel guilty. She wants you to think that you are a horrible person for evicting her from your home and that she has been horribly abused by you when you did this. She has a lot of growing up to do, and by living under your roof she isn't going to do the growing up. She is a survivor and she will surprise you by making it on her own. Stop and realize that many of our millionaires are self made people. They left home in their teens and yes, they struggled, but they worked hard and learned from their struggles. You need to reach inside and grab that inner strength. You HAVE to look at the situation you were living in before your daughter left. You weren't happy, the house was in horrible shape, your daughter was treating you like crap. Everything was in a huge turmoil. Do you really want that back? You have a wonderful boyfriend who is about to leave because you can't stand the peace and quiet. Do you really need the uproar to survive? That's what you're saying to your boyfriend...that you can't stand being a happy individual who has the right to continue to be happy without the horrible living situation that was created by your daughter. It's like you need the turmoil to survive and be happy. It is tough, but don't take your daughter back in. She needs to be on her own. She made that evident. She is showing how much happier she is by how she is speaking to you. If she were to move back in that respectful facade will disappear and things will go back to the way they were, only worse. Pull yourself together and look at what YOU want for a change. Stop worrying about your daughter. Let her know that you will help, but you can't allow her to move back in with you. I am fairly sure if you allowed it to happen you would lose your home...along with a lot more. Your relationship with your daughter seems like it is one of gasoline and a match. Now, I really think you should focus on "YOU" for a while. Stop worrying about your daughter. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know how much you appreciate him and that you are NOT going to let your daughter move back in and that she isn't going to run your life through guilt. It's going to be tough, but if your daughter is ever going to grow up and be productive she needs to be on her own. As I said before, your daughter is like a wild lion that was caged with you. While she was caged she was horribly unhappy and demonstrated her unhappiness by her actions. Once you opened the door and let her out, she is a much happier person, able to run free and run her own life the way she wants to. Don't fall for the guilt trips that she tries to lay on you. I've been there and done that. I learned very quickly that my daughter was laying guilt trips on me and I started to refuse to accept them. Once I did that I was a much happier person and was at ease with the situation. Now go find your boyfriend and tell him that you are not going to let your daughter run your life and that you are NOT letting her move back in. It sounds like your boyfriend is worth keeping, and to lose him would be devastating!!!
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
22 May 12
yes I keep telling you if you take her back and indulge her you did everything for nothing you may a decision a hardbreaking and extremely hard decision but you have to stick to it.