I have my own reasons

@averygirl72 (16610)
Philippines
May 26, 2012 4:10pm CST
I am old enough to have my own reasoning or make reasoning on my own, though I am not saying their are accurate or valid. I am looking for article that tells about reasons why people quit church and I have found one in hubpages-"Reasons why people quit church." I used to be a devout Catholic then christian but now I am quite disillusioned by religions that I now prefer not to be affiliated by any of them but still keep my faith strong with God. Here are the stressful things I found in the church attending: 1. Stressful mornings in the house. In order for every family member to attend we need to hurry prepare food, prepare our clothes, clean the house etc..My mother would sermon always in the morning because we move so slow. Now, I can stay a lot more in my bed and have restful Sunday mornings. 2. Stressful people in the church-I am no longer happy with the way people act in the church where they have use it to promote themselves really. Church has been a place for status seekers and for public displays. Aside from that I do feel that once you are in the church, people have the right to criticize you and scrutinize you from head to foot and make you feel lesser about yourself after showing them they are much better than you. A lot of people in church breeds arrogance feeling they are the only save people, they are very righteous, they are almost perfect, they are very talented and they deserved a standing ovation, they are the coolest people on earth? 3. Stressful teachings- Do I really have to hear long sermons every week as if I am always doomed and I am such an evil person all the time? 4. Stress with money- I really observed most church don't use funds for charity, most of the time it is for the congregation itself and always for building funds. They want to build impressive architecture. Those who really help people are the non-religious organizations or private sectors. Honestly when I quit church I lessen my stress level by as much as 50%. I still worship and pray to God and wants to serve God but I don't believe in churches anymore.
2 people like this
15 responses
• Canada
30 May 12
As I stated earlier, I think a lot of people quit church because they want to indulge in unscriptural activities, particularly homosexuality. Others because they loose faith in God or have some bad experience. My paternal grandparents quit because they had a baby in a church (don't know what type, I think non-conformist) run hospital. The baby didn't live very long and they felt that these people were more interested in getting the kid baptized than saving his or her life. Obviously I wasn't there and have only heard of it third hand so I don't know how fair this assessment was. The Catholic church has lots of problems and tends to turn people off a lot. As for your reasons for stress: 1. In England churches used to have evening services (don't know if they still do). They don't normally do that in Canada. I'm told they used to but stopped because too many people wanted to watch sports on Sunday evening. You could try to be more organized to reduce stress. 2. Church is supposed to save sinners so a church with no awkward or undesirable people probably isn't doing its job properly. Some people seem to have the delusion of being therapists and try to "fix" others without being asked. Not really a good idea. Most people fix things that are easy for them to fix so their remaining problems are hard to fix. The fat person probably can't easily slim, the smoker can't easily quit, the unemployed person can't easily find a job (and temp laboring jobs may not be the best career plan), the inappropriate dresser may not see the problem (God doesn't judge by outward appearances) and may have a point. Also people tend to try to fix the obvious problem, which isn't always the most serious or the best thing to target first. Particularly annoying is people who think your problems are because of some spiritual problem, particularly the thing they have a bee in their bonnet about. Perhaps you should just ask people what qualifications they have as therapists if they try this. Also ask people for the Biblical basis for what they're saying. You could also try to find a church that has people you get on with better. 3. If you're a Christian, you're not doomed but you're not perfect either. The sermon probably isn't a special message for you anyway. Again, perhaps you could find a church with better teachings. 4. More problematic as a church needs money to operate, just like any other organization. In Britain a lot of churches have old, historic buildings that need expensive maintenance. During WW II, this wasn't done, leaving then with serious problems for decades. I'm not sure that non-religious charities help people more, they also have their overheads and I've heard that some of them spend a lot of money on offices, executives etc. It's true that our faith should be in God, not the church or people (other than Jesus). However, the Bible tells us not to give up the habit of meeting together (sorry can't remember verse - I think it's in one of Paul's epistles). Having other Christians helps you to remain enthusiastic, tends to keep you from going off the theological rails and there are things it's hard to do without other people and perhaps an organization with financial resources.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
30 May 12
Honestly, I agree with everything you say, but as I have said what I point out is not really valid. I am on the process of evaluating it's validity. Your point of view would surely help in my evaluation, thanks. Right now I have gathered enough information that strongly support that sometimes loving God is different from loving the church. I would come back here and say my final decision, if I would come back to church or permanently get out of it. I found out a book saying that sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do in life is to stop going to church. Our pattern in going to church is appear, sit down, sang, listen then leave. For others practice performance, sit down, perform and stay for a while. There is a sense of exclusivity in churches too. They say they want to explode with people and win souls but they already have enough souls attending but they are not really serving those people, honestly they even filter the people that comes into church. If you look well to do and have lots of money be sure you will be taken care of by the church but if they see you are poor and looks helpless, expect they won't dare to mingle with you so much. For many years, I based my faith on the bible and won't accept those ugly truths but now I have seen that they are very true. A lot of wrong things are going on in many churches especially here in the Philippines. People are blinded by religiosity, rituals, status and performances, serving God and serving themselves at the same time. Who am I to judge them, anyway? If Jesus would come back to earth and see what these are people are doing in his church and his name he would surely be weeping in tears. There is no perfect church around I believe but we still need to give high respect to the tabernacle of God, preserve its holiness and not corrupt the church.
• Canada
1 Jun 12
I don't know much about the Philippines. If you're one of the people who tend to stick around after church and get involved in stuff, you should get more out of it. Yes you should respect "the tabernacle of God". Get rid of that rubbish from Temple Mount! I recently visited Dominus Flavious, where Jesus is supposed to have wept on the Mount of Olives and you can see the rubbish on Temple Mount from there. I suggest you look for a church that's good fit for you, get involved and try to keep/make it holy.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
As I have said, I am on an experiment and does not make a final conclusion. I have tried being so involve in church life now I want to try the life of those people who chose not to involve so much. I found a youtube video that express my thoughts regarding church, people and Jesus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY
• United States
27 May 12
Whatever works for you. You have valid reasons Not to attend that church. I'm glad to hear you still believe in G-d. Many get so fed up they throw away their faith in G-d along with their lost faith in the Church. G-d is everywhere. There are so many ways to worship Him I'm glad you found a way that fits you and your family. As for he list? The one that would make me stand up and leave as the preacher speaking is being called evil. I would say thank you , stand up and leave. being deemed evil means you are free to do Anything! This means no church! If you are already doomed , why sit there Trying to be accepted?
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Right, whatever works for me, on my part it does not really work. Right now I come to think if you are a genuine believer, you will slowly see these wrong things at church but if you are still like the most who use the church for wrong reasons you would remain on it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 May 12
sarahruthbeth, all have sinned (except Yeshua) so all are evil, at least to some extent. Some are better than others, obviously. Then the "respectable" man may be a rapist or child molester while the scruffy, poor person's sins are mostly of thought and he or she tries harder to serve God. Don't judge by outward appearances!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 12
Grape, where did I say O judged by appearance? All I said was if someone else called me evil I leave their presence and I wish them ill! Where in this statement makes you think I'm going to judge people?
@peavey (16876)
• United States
26 May 12
Read this: http://www.lifestream.org/bodylife.php?blid=32 It's "Why I Don't Go to Church Any More" by Wayne Jacobsen. He also wrote a book called "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Any More." It's at http://www.jakecolsen.com/contents.html free to read online. I think it will address your problems. Wayne Jacobsen has a podcast at http://thegodjourney.com I don't "go to church," either, but I love my Lord Jesus and I know He loves me.
• United States
26 May 12
That book, "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Any More" came to mind when I was responding. I have it in my library.
@peavey (16876)
• United States
27 May 12
It's good, isn't it? At least, it makes you think!
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
27 May 12
wow, very helpful particularly the part- "are you looking for the perfect church?" Thanks for the links. I feel so down at first when I don't go to church anymore but after awhile I learn to see it in a much different way. I even had memories flashing in my mind as if God is telling me those are the wrong things going on at the church. All the articles I read now really confirms that I am not doing the wrong thing and I am not abandoning God after all, just the church not God.
@allknowing (73355)
• India
27 May 12
Liberating oneself from the teachings that have been forced upon us is a great achievement. You seem to have got there already. I too have analysed what goes on in churches today. Everything is commercialised. Those who are rich are honoured even though they openly commit actions that would be taboo. The priests and nuns look the other way and say God will decide but if a poor person is seen doing those things hell is promised in full measure. I am forever in the attitude of gratitude and believe in God but do not believe in rituals which at the end of the day lead to collecting funds.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
27 May 12
I like that word-liberating oneself from the teachings that have been forced upon us--most people are like robots just following blindly traditions or just following without questioning why they are doing it. You mentioned of collecting funds, yes that was the most sensitive part -the collection of funds in many religious sects.
• Canada
29 May 12
You can't do much without money. Do you expect a church to run for free - spending nothing on building repairs, electricity, staff, etc? People just seem to think that churches shouldn't collect money but anybody else doing it is OK. Admittedly the money collected may not get spent wisely but the devil in the details.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
29 May 12
Yes you are right, a church cannot thrive without financial support, but it is because of this privilege that many have use the church for collection of money only. They don't pay tax or exempted to pay tax so all the money is for theirs to use.Not all church are like that but realistically many are like those one, it was so disturbing to know that people serve God just for the money or donations.
@PageTurner (2827)
• United States
26 May 12
It seems that we often have to leave the typical church in order to be faithful to God.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
27 May 12
Yeah simple answer but very true, sad to say, we need to leave the usual church just to find the real God.
• Canada
29 May 12
What sort of church would you like to attend?
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
29 May 12
You want to know what kind of church I want to attend? The church that is sincere in serving God, solemn church that really reach out to the people, less formal than congregations that are mere performances. For the mean time I don't want any church but groups of friends or people that I can talk about God and where we can pray together. I would support non-religious organizations that directly help the people in need.
@JohnRok1 (2051)
28 May 12
Before you finally give up on church, please try Providence Reformed Baptist Church, 1102 Wagas St, Tondo, Metro-Manila (Contact: Bro. Mario Macalalad, Tel.: (02)252-9464), or Cubao Reformed Baptist Church, 21 Harvard St., Cubao, 1102 Quezon City, Tel.: (02)911-0626, depending which is easier for you to get to. The group have a website, http://www.cubaorbc.org/, which, in the Resources and Links section, lists a number of other churches they can recommend. I've heard two of the Pastors in the group (Brian Ellis and Noel Espinosa) personally.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Are you from the Philippines or UK? Thanks for referring me to a church but right now I had enough of it. I am quite tired and bored of church life that I want a total break from it for a while and be realistic with life.
@JohnRok1 (2051)
28 May 12
I'm from and in the UK. I didn't mention my friend Romy Valdes, who's running a church up in the mountains in southern Luzon that they don't mention on their website (probably because anybody up in the mountains would see the church before they saw www).
@toniganzon (53706)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Maybe you just haven't found the right church for you. I go to Victory Church and i didn't feel the pressure that you went through.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Very true, I believe there is a church that is almost perfect, they exist but I believe it is rare also. Right now I have tried church hopping here and there and not find it satisfying. Anyway, just continue going to church. It is just my personal opinion.
• Canada
29 May 12
Messianic congregations are probably closest to Biblical teachings (I think they very somewhat).
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
27 May 12
Were almost the same avergirl, some of my friends don't understand me in that way. I don't like even tried to explain to them. like what you have said that's the main reason why I do not like to go to the church. I love God and I I have faith to Him all the time. But I just thought I can be a follower to Him even I did not go to church as long I never hate and I'm not bad to anyone I'm a good Christian.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
That is comforting as long as we are not really doing anything bad to others and we are good Christian we don't need to always come to church every Sunday, once in a while will do.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Yhea sometimes when I have nothing to do just like other I went there and listen.
• India
2 Jun 12
It is good that you at last stopped bel;ieving in churches.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
13 Jun 12
Thanks, however can you give longer answer.
@1hopefulman (35048)
• Canada
1 Jun 12
Hi! We all need to make pour own decisions. When my children were small I used to take them to the congregation where I went. When they were old enough to reason, they were allowed to make their own choice. They do not practice the same religion I practice. We each make our choice as we can see that God has not spoken from heaven and told us to force people one way or another. I read the Bible daily because I enjoy it. I go to the congregation because I enjoy the fellowship and the encouragement. I listen to the talks and learn from them. The day I no longer find joy in what I'm doing that is the day that I will do something else. All the best!
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
1 Jun 12
I observed that in many families too including mine. Though we live in a same house, means we have to go to the same church. In fact many families are divided when it comes to religions. Others are active at church, others does not want to bother with stuffs related to church. Finding God at present means also we need to find where we are comfortable. Most people avoid church because it give more discomfort than comfort, so yes it fairly depends on everyone.
@winterose (39916)
• Canada
28 May 12
that is your choice hon, but I do know many people who have been helped by the church
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Thanks I know I don't want everyone to agree with me. I still have some faith left when it comes to church. I am just on the process of accepting this truth. I am a 20 years catholic, 10 years christian and now on my second year of no formal religion and I am still comparing it.
@urbandekay (18312)
27 May 12
Not all Churches are like that, I think if you were to try say a Baptist Church you might find it very different all the best urban
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Thanks i appreciate it. I do not want everyone to agree with me, happy to know about your opinion.
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
27 May 12
Like you I was born and raised as a Catholic but now I no longer attend church or mass. I prefer to go to an empty church and pray, rather than attend mass where you can't even breathe with the throng of people. There are so many distractions and with a huge crowd, most of the time the mass is no longer solemn. You would hear the giggles and chatting of younger people. I mean, if you wanted to chat and giggle, do it outside of church. But then again, I can't blame some of these teenagers who are half-heartedly attending mass. Some schools make it an obligation for their students to attend mass, so even if kids don't want to, they're forced to go to mass and you will find that they aren't really praying but rather just waiting for the mass to end.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Got it exactly! how can you pray with throngs of people, huge crowd, the solemnity of prayer is gone really. I also enjoyed attending dawn prayers where there are 5 people only and it is much refreshing. Also the young people does not really listen and just chat all they want. That is true we are half-hearted in doing it and we are just force by traditions to always go to church on sunday.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
27 May 12
Hi averygirl, It is good to see that you are taking a stand and I know that other young people today are doing the same thing. Never be afraid to question anything, it's the way we learn. You will feel better about yourself and be less stressful, now that you can relax and decide things for yourself. Perhaps, you will go back to church someday, but it must be because you choose to go. You can be a good citizen and a good person without attending any church. Treat other people the way that you want to be treated, that is the key. You feel bad when people say unkind things about you, so do not say unkind things about others. Remember you are not alone, many young people today have stopped attending church, and even quite a few older people as well. Blessings.
@averygirl72 (16610)
• Philippines
27 May 12
Right, never be afraid to question anything as it leads to freedom and a happier life! Thanks, it does not mean that I lost church is I lost God. It is dangerous thought to think of criticizing the church but I am just telling the truth.
• Philippines
30 May 12
nice one sister. try this too: www.comeandreason.com, and reason out.