For better or for worse?

Philippines
May 27, 2012 11:27pm CST
In the wedding vow, we always here these words asked to both couples "for better or for worse?" I think it is expected that there would come in a relationship that problems and difficulties would arise, and the relationships would then be challenged to see if both couple are ready to "stick together" for better or for worse. Of course, we would want our relationships always in good conditions but what would you do if some difficulties arise? How do you think you or your partner would act if ever your relationships are suddenly challenged by problems? Are you ready to follow that saying "for better or for worse?"
1 person likes this
7 responses
@salonga (27998)
• Philippines
29 May 12
Well worse times are unavoidable in this life. This is the reason why couples should be ready to tackle worse times together. Marriage isn't all bed of roses and this is the reason why they are being reminded in the marriage vow that they should keep loving no matter what. Sadly, many couples failed to keep togetherness when problems beset them. Many are now separated because worse days become too hard for them to push through. As for me, I've been married for almost 27 years and indeed there have been really difficult times. But by God's grace we both are and will continue following our vow till God calls us home.
• Philippines
29 May 12
It's a good reminder for married touples to remember that marriage isn't a bed of roses. I think all married couples are hoping and wishing for a happy married life, and who doesn't. But when reality hits, unexpected personality defects appear from one partner, financial difficulties, infidelity, emotional or physical abuses happen, and many other difficult situations in a marriage happens,and then the whole foundation of marriage is suddenly shaken...then couples realize that marriage is not a bed of roses, and that it has even turned into the opposite condition. This is the moment I think that couples needed to help save the marriage, and if one of them is not willing to do this I can't see any way that the marriage won't fail. Marriage is between two people and to make this marraige work, two people would have to agree on making the marraige work.
@batcuie (50)
• Romania
29 May 12
Intersting thing , well to cut to the chase best way to find out is to have these situations before wedding , you can have this challanges by living togheter a period of time , to look and study the personality and character of your patner from time to time but to study this things from "outside the box" not thinking with your heart , thinking with your mind , but as i said best way is to have this situations before wedding , for example if you have a 2 year relationship before wedding , you can`t say that you don`t know your partner , not 100% because no one knows his partner 100% , that`s the mistery of us , humans :)) , mistery that can be beautiful or not that beautiful , but you as the weather is 80% guessed , you can guess a high percentage if the person near you , worth it. But if you plan to marry him/her i think it`s worth it :) hope this helps
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May 12
I can understand what you mean when you said no one knows his partner 100%. I can remember someone said that every person is a universe by himself/herself. Yes, you pointed out very well how important it is to get to know your partner very well before tying the knot.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
28 May 12
I've been married for 10 years and yes i agree that at some point, especially during the adjustment years of my relationship, we had encountered a lot of difficulties which almost had our marriage end, but since me and my husband value the relationship we started, we always talked about the things that is causing the problem. Together we adjust to each difference we had and look for better ways to deal on things that bothers us, most of all we always see to it that we make living together as adventure of discovering thing together, we eliminate the word BORING. Now we just laugh at every problem we encounter, we may not be able to prevent it but we had found the ways to control it. Have a nice day.
• Philippines
29 May 12
That is great to hear...way to go zip12ph! It's great that both of you are committed in the relationship, and I think that made your relationship as it is right now. Without commitment, when difficulties and trials arise in a couple they would tend to crumble and gives up easily on their relationship. I liked what you said in the end "Now we just laugh at every problem we encounter" and it would be great if all couples could say this as well. Anyway, I would like to remember as well to have a sense of adventure and if I can find a partner like that as well, then life won't really be BORING but a life full of adventure and worth living together :)
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
28 May 12
Actually the "worse" part is the hardest to handle. Between me and hubby most of the time we try our best to be calm and be rational because if we let it gets in our mind we really end up fighting against each other rather than working it out together.
• Philippines
29 May 12
Hi jazel_juan, I want to wish you good luck to your relationship. I really hope calmness would always win. I guess when a couple gets over the worst times, the bond becomes stronger. Trials can make or break a relationship, and usually for those who make it because the relationship was tested, the couple would end up having a deeper and stronger relationship with each other.
28 May 12
good day betterdays4me, i guess you are a peson that fill with a sense of responsibility,no matter what the problems and difficulties would arise,we should ready to stick together for better or for worse,because we are all get married,so we must follow that saying"for better or for worse".
• Philippines
29 May 12
good day as well yimsiupang, Thanks for saying that! I agree with you when you said that the moment we get married, then it would be necessary to have commitment to our vows and stick with our chosen partner for "better or for worse." Anyway, when you said 'stick together', I suddenly thought of an analogy which shows that one stick would easily break but if you place another stick to it and 'bind it together', then those two sticks would be harder to break, if not impossible. So I imagined a couple being that sticks...having a strong bond and sticking together for better or worse for a lifetime...
• Philippines
28 May 12
I think we don't have a choice once we are married, because allowing ourselves to be married to our husband in a ceremony means agreeing with all the provisions included in the wedding vow. So couples or partners as the word implies should discuss their problem, whatever it is so that they could arrive at a decision on how to solve their problem. Both should help each other and work for a solution, not only one but both of them since they are partners.
• Philippines
29 May 12
Yes I agree that we don't have a choice once we are married, so that is why it's important to get to know your partner very well before tying the knot. Maybe at least two years could be a good enough time frame to be able to know your partner well enough to decide if he or she would be a good partner in life. I also agree that couples who could help each other by discussing problem calmly while looking for a solution would definitely get over their worse times. And you are right, it takes two to tango so it also takes two people in a relationship to find solutions for their problems.
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
8 Jun 12
I have been with someone for 3 years. There were a lot of difficult times but there were also lots of happy times. Although it was not a marriage, we did live together for more than two years. I think it is delusional for people to think that a relationship will always be happy and great.