Feeling like someone is avoid me/ using us (Rant)

By C
@ShyBear88 (17427)
United States
May 30, 2012 9:37am CST
I keep feeling like I'm being avoided by my husband cousin/roommate. It's hard for me to now believe anything that she says she is going to do because time after time when she say she was going to do something she never does it. This just pi$$ me off more and more. I'm at the the end of my rope and just can't wait for October to be over and all three of our names cleared from our rental agreement and we can move out and into either a house or another apartment where it's just me, my husband and our soon to be two kids. All she does is pay rent, me and my husband have to suffer and pay both parts of all of our utilities and of course she runs up the bills by doing things that wasn't our money. She always says when she has the money she'll give it to us, but she never does. She has been saying this since October when we all moved in to this apartment but never has given any thing towards it. She has never bought food for the house either. That is all on me and my husband. Of course my husband is the only one working for our small family of soon to be 4. Now our only help with money is about to slow her stay job and has to go full time at her part time job so they will be put on a tight budget as well. My parents help out where they can but they also have to help take care of my nephew. Mostly they just help out with the food to make sure we don't go hungry. Me and my husband we starve for our daughter but of course I can't starve myself right now since I am pregnant. It would be nice to have all of the money that my husband cousin owes. By the time we move out it'll be some what close to what rent is every month. She works at a part time job which I know doesn't pay much but if she had changed her habits she would at least be able to pay some what of the utilities instead of using her savings which she has to drive 3 hours way to go get. Instead of saving money where she can she rather spend the night out and days off with friends wasting money. She is the same age as both me and my husband but I know she is so use to college life that she really doesn't care about anything but herself. She says that she cares about us but yet doesn't show it or do it. She always lies about things to me and my husband and we know she is lying. She told my husband one day that she tried helping me take care of our daughter. Which wasn't true she didn't help at all she sat on the sofa watching tv, texting and playing on her computer. It took her nearly 3 months to get a job when last year it took my husband just 1 month to get a new job when he lost his. She says she'll help keep the place clean but hasn't. When she wants to clean then she'll do it but when asked she never does it. With me being pregnant this leaves me having to do all of the house cleaning which I don't mind but now I"m about the point of my pregnant where I"m bigger then what was in my first pregnancy and I hurt all of the time. It takes me hours to do certain things which normally would only take me a few minutes to do but of course I can't see my feet. Yesterday it took me and hour to clean the living room. I left the vacuuming to my husband because he does try to help out more now that he knows that my body just can't do what it normally can do. Which I'm sure lots of other mothers understand how I feel in that department. I'm now 24 weeks so I have to take a lot of breaks especially when it comes to my daughter.Later on last night I spend another hour just cleaning the kitchen. I throw away things reorganized everything even got on a ladder which I know I'm not suppose to do. Every time I do the dishes I get pi$$ of again because more then half of my dishes are gone. We know our cousins know what happened to them and where they all went. My mother in law bought us what is normally $60 dollars for set two sets for $60 which was a seal 2 years go when she bought them for us. I've had to buy a new set of silver wear. I'm now down to 4 blows not even the blows that I had 2 years ago which I should have 6 of them but I don't. My 12 set of glass cups I know just have 2 or 4 left and had to buy a 6 new hard plastic cups. We have 4 big plates, 4 small plates. The only dishes that haven't gone missing is my daughters stuff. I have zero coffee cups and since I got pregnant again I don't drink coffee at all outside of every now and then when I go and get a starbucks as a treat to treat myself. It's just ridculose that I have no dishes since Feb when my husband cousin lost the job she has at the same place where my husband works out. Now we don't know if she really goes to work all of the time or not because she is never really here till late at night which is when she makes herself know when we are going to bed. This drive me nuts as well which I know most of it is because of my hormones being in over drive but a little bit of it is my normal self ready for blood. Any time that we have tried to talk to her about things she says she'll take and then never come talk to us about it. My husband grandmother knows what is going on becaues you can't hid anything for her at all. She tries to help out be being the middle ground for all 3 of us. She knows where me and my husband coming from but also where her other granddaughter is coming from. She asks us what we do and do not know all of the time. We tell her that people never tell us anything these days, either because they are shamed of what they have done and what we will think. I'm so happy to hear that my husbands grandparents will be back in town in a few weeks. They had to go to Virginia to see my sister-in-law and the rest of our family. She was having here baby and had him a week ago. So they went too help out with my husband younger siblings while my mother in law was in the hospital with my sister in law. Originally they where suppose to go this month to there beach house but since they know we need help really bad at this point they have offered to take my daughter for a few hours during the week and even a night or two to give me a change to get some much need rest. I'm almost at the being of my 3 trimester and I feel the onset of just wanting to sleep all of the time coming on really strong along with all the aches and pains that I get daily. Of course I have things to help me out with that but it only helps a little. I'm looking forward to once again at this point and early deliever since I'm getting so unconformable. That and I need a vacation which isn't to far off another full month away.
2 people like this
3 responses
• United States
31 May 12
You on a Ladder?!Don't do that! I think it is time to send her to the grand parents. This is harming your health, can't you break the lease? She is a waste of space!I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this , especially now!
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Its not a ladder ladder. Its one of those 3 step fordable ladders I do need to use it all of the time for certain things in the house that I just can't reach. Yes we could break the lease but we do not have $3,000 to do so and we are not asking people to give us the money to do so because you'll have to remember that does look bad on our credit when it comes to get another apartment, then we have to pay for all the applications to fill out and at this time of year rent for all apartments are more expensive then it is during October November time frame. The ladder isn't going to kill me. It's when your on a high one. I still shouldn't use a short ladder but doctors won't fuss over that and it has a handle on it so I can hold on to it and hubby was home so if I really need help he could have done it. As soon as they get here they will help us out with Sugar. Right now they have to stay till for another 3 weeks up in VA.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jun 12
Ok . I understand. you scared me with the ladder! I mean Really scared me! Please let Hubby get things until JD is here. so just hang in there.
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Hubby isn't always home and its not going to hurt me being on a ladder. Really don't worry about a stupid ladder pregnant women do it all of the time we do things we shouldn't do. The only reason they don't like pregnant women climbing on a ladder is because we have bad balance but man I'm fine I'm not going to fall and if I did I would hand on my feet. Half of the things he isn't even about to reach either so it really doesn't matter which one of uses the step ladder or not.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Jun 12
Well, at least she is paying her half of the rent. I know that when you have a roommate there are a lot of things that will frustrate you about them because you tend to end up with too many personalities in the house and that will cause a lot of conflict in the household. For us right now, we have some housemates, but I am really not asking a lot of them because neither of them have a job right now. The main request that I've made is that they pick up the difference in utilities from what we usually have to pay each month. In addition to that, they are bringing the majority of the food into the house. That is because of food stamps, but every little bit does count.
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
5 Jun 12
Our personalities are not different they are same it's our responsibilities that are different. She only has to look out for herself we do not just have ourselves but two little people and our names to keep up. Because our roommate/cousin hasn't held up her part even given just a couple of bucks towards anything. We understand that she has a bad job and can't afford much but I've told her time and time again even if its just $5 its better then nothing at all. But she does wast a lot of our utilies the man reason and because she still wants to be more in a college state of mine we do not want to live with her next year since she isn't ready to live on her own. She thought she was but she just makes bad choice which cause stress for us. To her, her friends are more important then her family when her family will always be there when her friends will not. She needs more time to grow up.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
30 May 12
It's a long story you wrote down. I think you have to spit out all of this to the person(s) who concern otherwise nothing will change. Have a good honest talk with your husband. If necessary check out what is truth and confront the cousin/roommate with it. Also come with some solutions for this problem plus a time limit within things has to be changed. If not this will break you.
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
30 May 12
I'm sorry, my rants tend to be long some times especially when I'm upset about something. I rather get it all out and have a long post then one word. We have tried to talk to her and nothing works thus the reason when the lease agreement is up we are out of here. My hubby knows what i feel like we talk about his all of the time. Like I said above he knows how I feel and I know how he feels we feel the same way about everything its not just one side. Like I said we have tried talking to her we can't control we can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do and technically she doesn't have to pay for anything because one the leasing office they don't care how they get there money and either does the utility people either.