Do you have too much pride

Jacksonville, Florida
June 3, 2012 11:52am CST
To apologize to your kids? When I was a kid and my father did or said something he should not have he never apologized. He said he had no reason to because we were children and he did not have to. Hes the kind of person that thinks children are meant to be seen not heard. He was full of pride. I always swore I would never be that way with my kids. A few minutes ago my son was eating chips. I took the bag to get some too. My son said hey! I said what? He said you did not say please. I said your right I am sorry. I have to have manners since I want them to. Lol, it was cute. Do you apologize to your kids if your wrong? Or do you have too much pride to say sorry to kids?
8 people like this
27 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
3 Jun 12
I can apologize to my kids or anyone else i need to. It's very hard for many people to say they are sorry & that's a sahme.The words 'i'm sorry' were not in my mothers vocabulary. THEY NEEDED TO BE!
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
I always am the first to apologize if I did wrong. It is a shame and its gotta be how they were raised. Im sorry your mother was that way. My mom always said sorry but never my father.
1 person likes this
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
3 Jun 12
I know that I am a person of pride, but fortunately I was raised with manners by great parents so as to implant in me the virtue of knowing when to know when I have committed a mistake, admitting it, and apologizing for it and trying to fix it. I do not have children of my own yet, but I believe I have always apologized whenever I did something wrong to people older or younger than me. I would very much want this attitude to be learned by my future kids as well.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
I am so glad I had my mother to teach me good manners. Of course, we want to be a good example for our future generation. I think you will be a great example to your children when you have them. =)
1 person likes this
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
4 Jun 12
I really hope so. I'm not the perfect son and I am pretty scared of having my own knowing that I have slightly disrespected my father on several occasions getting into an argument with him. He told me that time that what I have done to him will be done to me by my children ten-folds, and I really really hope not. Of course, I apologized after those incidents but those words got stuck in my mind.
@PageTurner (2827)
• United States
3 Jun 12
I have apologized to my children many times. I try to treat them with respect, and I am often humbled by their generosity and wisdom. There have been times when I've acted a fool and I have had to tell them I was sorry, and ask for their forgiveness. I love my children more than I can say.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
I have had to apologize too. I agree, children deserve respect too. I feel the same way, my babies are everything to me. I am surprised my siblings and I all have no issues with apologizing with how our father was...
2 people like this
• United States
3 Jun 12
Good for you! My father actually did apologize to me a couple of times when I was a child. My mother never did. To this day, my mother never has, and she certainly has cause to do so. My father was the better example to me, which is really surprising when you consider the masculine expectations with which he was raised.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
3 Jun 12
I don't have kids yet I have a little Niece though, and if I had children and make a mistake I would have no problem apologizing There's nothing wrong with a parent admitting when there wrong and setting a good example but some parents think that just because there parents they don't have to show or admitted that there not perfect for fear of losing there power and control as a parent Also some parent's think that the child will lose respect for them as parent's if they tell there child there sorry, I don't understand that way of thinking.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jun 12
I have no problem saying sorry either but I know a few people who do. I agree, its needed in order to show a good example for kids. That is exactly what it was with my father. He did not want to lose control. He had us scared of him. Thats not respect, its fear. He failed to see the difference. I never understood his parenting and I never will.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
3 Jun 12
i think it is important to say sorry to your kids if you have wronged them because it teaches them that even parents make mistakes.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jun 12
I agree. It teaches them no one is too old or young to make mistakes.
@nonersays (2757)
• United States
3 Jun 12
My son is only 2, but I do apologize at him. Sometimes I lose my temper and yell at him louder than I need to, but I'll hug him and say I'm sorry. Or when I accidentally bump into him (he's always underfoot) I'll apologize for knocking him back with my tush. I want him to learn to say please and thank you and I'm Sorry when its appropriate, and like you said if you want them to have manners you have to use manners on them.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
I think we have all been there with losing our temper now and then. My littlest one is always under my feet too! Lol. Exactly, if we do not have manners neither will they.
1 person likes this
@jeth88 (68)
• Manila, Philippines
3 Jun 12
I thought you are single and younger because of your looks. Anyway, I will do the same the time I have kids in the future. I would say sorry too if I know I am wrong. Nice discussion! :)
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
Thank you for the compliment. =) I am 27 years old and married. Yeah its good to apologize when your wrong so the kids learn to say sorry when they are wrong. =)
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
3 Jun 12
Does not apologizing has anything to do with being too pride? I don't think so. I only apologize if I mean it. I don't like to get forced to it anymore for no reason, just because people like to humilate me or they want to have their "right". I had to do it too many times as a kid to my parents (about 20 times or more a day and it was still not good enough). I don't care to apologize to my kids (or any one else). I do think I do it earlier to my kids since I live with them so there is more interaction with them. But I also tell them (esp. my son) not to apologize each time just to keep the peace. I've got the idea he is doing that whole time at school, this is not okay with me. I want him to stand for who he is, what he likes. Not to get on his knees for the sheep in the cattle.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jun 12
It does actually. To apologize your admitting you were wrong and at fault. My father thought he was too good to do that and he thought he was always right. Therefore he had too much pride to humble himself enough to say I was wrong. I want to set a good exanple for my kids. I say sorry if I am wrong. We should not have to apologize for no good reason but if you have done something mean or hurtful we should humble ourselves enough to apologize...
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
4 Jun 12
I don't have kids, but my parents would apologize if they felt we deserved it. I have apologized to the roomie's little great nephew if I think I've done something wrong.
• Jacksonville, Florida
7 Jun 12
Well that is good that your parents did not have an issue apologizing. My father never said sorry, ever and still has not unless my mother told him to. It is good to say sorry even to children. It is teaching them to have manners.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
9 Jun 12
I have to say that looking back in hindsight, they were seldom wrong...
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Jun 12
My father was wrong many times. He always told us he only agreed to have us so he could have slaves to do everything for him. He constantly yelled at us for stupid things like we were retarded and could not understand English. He would always call us rude names like slobs. The list goes on and on... I don't have that kind of time to write them all down now but there were plenty of times where an apology was in order.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
21 Jun 12
Yes, I have too much pride. I grew up with that kind of discipline too. And I don't see anything wrong with that. But having my kids, I've realized that it isn't always the best way to rear my children. So, I've learned to apologize for some of the things I do. It isn't all the time, and it is still with great difficulty to get it out of me, but I'm trying.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Jun 12
Bounce...Really?!? I never would have thought you were too prideful to apologize. You seem so sweet and wow, I am very surprised. I see something wrong with it only for the fact that my father was hateful all the time and never felt the need to apologize. Honestly, I am very insecure because of things he used to say to me. I think there is a fine line between being a big deal or not... That's good that you realized its nice to say sorry sometimes. They can learn that way that at any age we do make mistakes sometimes. And of course they learn manners from us too. Keep trying, that is all you can do is best. =) I'm proud of you for trying!
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
29 Jun 12
Thanks!
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
8 Jun 12
It's funny you said that. I have noticed that my ex has to say please or sorry to the kids. With me it's different. We have this unspoken telepathy that we know what each other is thinking. Or at least it seems that way. If my children say or do something they should not have said I make them say they're sorry and apologize. I also let them know who the parent is. But I let the kids be kids. If I was eating chips with my kids and I took the bag, neither one of them would say to me that I did not say please, they would be like, okay, cool. But it is good to teach the kids to be polite.
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jun 12
Well that is good that your kids just know and vice versa. Sometimes people just need to hear it too though. Like with my father, it was major things he should have apologized for and didn't. An example is I was telling my parents when I was 18 that I wanted to model. My father turned around and said well I know your older sister could and should do it because she is beautiful. That was a slap in the face to me. I was at an age where I was unsure of myself as it was and I gave up the dream because of what he said to me. It hurt a lot. That deserved an apology and I never got one...
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
21 Jun 12
That was something he should not have said. And it would have been different if he gave some sort of an explanation after he said it. Look, if I was to say something on that order, I will always explain why I said what I said. Sometimes people take a statement seriously. I always like to clarify what I mean when I say something. I am also sure your father does not look at your sister as beautiful and you not. I think he looks at both of you as beautiful. But I can see how it became a blow to your ego and caused you to not follow your dream. That does have an impact. Parents sometimes do not realize that. I remember when I was you I was always told I cannot do this or that and thats impossible. Things like that. I do understand that they grew up in prehistoric times and life was different for them. But that stopped me and held me back most of my life. So I can relate.
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
4 Jun 12
If we are wrong, we have to say sorry to kids too. I don't agree with your dad's opinion. Unfortunately, my parents do the same as he did. They never say sorry to us when we was kids, they said the adults have that right...hmm, i don't agree with it at all. You did right, my friends, it is good manner.
• Jacksonville, Florida
7 Jun 12
Trust me I do not and will not ever agree with my father's opinion either. I always hated as a child that I was never allowed to speak. Yes, I am teaching my children good manners.
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
9 Jun 12
So your kids are lucky when they have a good mom like you. I am proud of you too..
@ShyBear88 (17615)
• United States
4 Jun 12
No I do not have too much pride at all. If I clearly did something wrong I'm always going to apologize for it I would accept my children to do the same when they do something or hurt someones feelings. Then of course I'm going to do the same. I say it all of the time when I accidentally turn into my daughter and she is only 16 months old or when I have to take something for her because she can't have it. I tell her I'm sorry but you can't have or mommy didn't mean to walk into you. I'm only human and I make mistake and I know my children will to so I need to set and example by doing what I want my children to do as well especially when it comes to other people.
• Jacksonville, Florida
7 Jun 12
I don't either. I always apologize to my kids or anyone for that matter. Of course it shows our kids manners and that even adults make mistakes! Right, we need to lead by example. =)
@ShyBear88 (17615)
• United States
9 Jun 12
Yep because even us adults are not prefect because no body is prefect.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
4 Jun 12
Yes I do, because I believe that is called "showing a child" rather than "telling" him or her how to behave. Interesting that my parents not only didn't use the please, thank you, or sorry, they also didn't teach me, yet one of the things I taught all my kids were manners and I use them as well. I guess I taught myself that to be polite is the right thing to do..
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jun 12
I agree. Showing by example is SO much better than just telling them. Our kids need to be taught manners so they can be good people. =) Thats great that you taught yourself that! I don't know anyone else that has done that.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100162)
• Chile
4 Jun 12
I agree with you. And we must learn to say we are sorry for little things because there are times when we make big mistakes and we need to have learned thhat lesson before.
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jun 12
Yes whether big or small we need to know when an apology is in order.
@marguicha (100162)
• Chile
5 Jun 12
I always wonder why some people are more ashamed of apologising than to accept that they have been wrong and saying it.
@AmbiePam (49877)
• United States
11 Jun 12
My dad talked about that once. He said his dad never acknowledged when he was wrong. And he said he had to learn when he was a father himself that it was okay to say I'm sorry to his kids. He grew up just thinking you didn't need to do it. I'm glad he learned NOT to follow his dad's example in that.
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jun 12
I wish my father did not follow everything his father did but he did. My mother tried to make him be more soft and compassionate but he never got there and still hasn't. There are some good points about the way I was raised and there were bad points. I will do the good things I like and the bad things I will not do. My father never found his own way to do things.
9 Jun 12
In my opinion,the world"sorry" may be easy to write,but it may be hard to say.
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jun 12
For some people yes I agree it is hard to say. For me it always came easy because I treat others the way I want to be treated...
9 Jun 12
oh !it is my first time to see a foreign web.i was a student and i support your point!i want my parent to treat me fair(sorry for my poor english)
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jun 12
Your poor english is okay with me. =) I know people are from all over.
@averygirl72 (16620)
• Philippines
9 Jun 12
I don't have my own kids, but I do agree that parents should apologize to their kids especially if they are wrong. Saying sorry is applicable to every one, whatever age bracket we are in. If we are wrong, we should say the magic word "Sorry."
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jun 12
Yes we should absolutely tell them sorry if we have done wrong. We are their example. They will learn to do the same if we do it. No matter what the age it definitely should be said.
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
6 Jun 12
I don't remember if my parents ever apologized to me. I don't have children, but I think parents should apologize to their children. First it is teaching them to do it, and another reason is, I have more respect for someone that will admit they are wrong or don't know. I think that affects the way they grow up also.
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jun 12
I agree with you. Parents can be wrong too. It is good to teach them that. They follow our example. I have more respect for people that apologize to me as well...