Sorry, I don't really want to have a relationship with her

United States
June 6, 2012 8:37pm CST
Recently, my parents want to hook me up with this girl; and I personally resent such arrangement. Maybe I am getting old each day, and I still haven't found a rightful girls to marry to. Most of my friends already married, even have kids. Now I am still single, and my parents just worried. To make my parents happy, I attempt to connect this girl through email, and skype for video chat, it was a long distance relationship as my parents expect it to be, and hopefully I will like her through video chat. We had been through video chat once, and honestly, I don't really see her as my future wife, but I can be her friend though. I just not ready to tell my parents about my decision, and I didn't even tell that girl my impression about her yet. I just don't want to upset both sides, until I found a better solution. Or I can find a perfect moment to tell them how I feel.
4 people like this
15 responses
• United States
7 Jun 12
There is nothing at all wrong with waiting for the right girl to come along. I felt the same way. I didn't want to get married just for the sake of getting married. Yes I too was getting older, but I didn't care. Finally when I was 34 yrs. old I met my husband. I knew almost immediately that he was the right one. Six months later we were married. I knew he was well worth the wait, so don't let anyone, not even your well meaning parents push you into something that you will later regret.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
7 Jun 12
I agree completely Im still young so I cant say much of it. But Ive had numerous people and family preassure me to hurry up and get married Im not getting any younger. I wont cave in and just marry someone for the sake of it.
• United States
15 Jun 12
It is not cool when parents try to hook their kids up. Something just seems wrong about that. Like you are pimping out your own child or something. I think that if you will find a girl, it will probably be on your own.
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
11 Jun 12
You have to do whats right for you. You cannot let your parents control who you go out with or who you will marry. You will have to sit them down and explain it to them. If you're single right now and like it that way, there is nothing wrong with that. You have to be happy with the right girl not them.
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
11 Jun 12
You can tell your parents about what you have felt with the girl I think your parents will understand you. You can tell them you still want her to be a friend. And maybe since you only saw the girl through the net you did not saw the her real personality. You don't know what will happen when you see her in person. That's right your still not closing your door to her maybe when already build a good friend relationship you will know some good things that you make like to her.
• United States
10 Jun 12
You can tell the girl u want to be friends. Then tell youratents later. I would not want to be in your shoes.good luck with this it is hard I am sure.
@Bhebelen14 (5206)
• Philippines
8 Jun 12
Hi kingparker, give yourself a time to find the right girl and try to look around maybe the right girl is just in the corner and waiting to catch your attention. I think you should tell to your parents how you feel. I know it is not easy to tell about your decision to your parents but better talked to them slowly and try to express your feelings and impression to the girl they hook up to you. They are your parents for sure they will understand. Also I know it is hard to tell your feelings to the girl because she might get hurt or offended but be honest to yourself and to her. Talk to the girl and tell her that she can be your friend not a wife because you dont like or love her, don't give her a false assurance because she might take it seriously. Pray and be brave I know you will find a perfect time to tell how you feel.
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
8 Jun 12
Being forced to be with someone who you don't want to be with is definitely hard. Does she like you romantically. If yes then I guess you have to eventually let her know that you only want her as a friend, don't led her on thinking that you and her will be together. I don't think that anyone has any right to make plans for someone else even if it is the parents. I think it is pretty unfair.
• India
7 Jun 12
If you don't really see her as your future wife then you should said this matter to your parents and the girl. your parents can understand you as every parents understands there children very well. If you marry a girl that you dont really want to make with then your married life will not be married life. So you have to open your mind to parents and that girl. then you have to find a proper girl for you...
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
7 Jun 12
You should not feel embarrassed about not wanting to have a relationship with someone. Being forced into an arrangement doesn't bring true satisfaction to your life. when the time is right for a rela lelationshio between you and other person you will feel it in your heart. there is no time limit or age require or physical attribute that makes the feeling come any quicker. When you get pushed into a relationshio with someone not of your choosing then the only person who gains anything is the one who made the arragment in the first place.
@MandaLee (3738)
• United States
7 Jun 12
Hi Kingparker, That is a tough one. I think you are doing the right thing. It isn't fair to either of you to have an arrangement if you don't have romantic feelings for this girl. The most important thing is to be honest with your parents and the girl and tell them exactly how you feel.
• Philippines
7 Jun 12
Being single is also a God's call..and we called it as single-blessedness. Don't be bothered if until now you are still single. Right time will come if it is really meant for you..cheers
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
7 Jun 12
There is no perfect timing but the sooner you will tell them the better, especially the girl. Better tell her how you feel for maybe she is expecting more that from you. Your parents will always understand what and how you feel. Love will be there at the right time. I always believe that there's reason for everything and if it is not happening certainly there is a big reason.
@ryanong (9694)
• Vietnam
7 Jun 12
Better don't get in a relationship when you are not ready with it. it will hurt that girl and you also. I understand the pressure that you got from your parent. Currently i get it too, but it is our life then we have to decide it, not our parent. I think better you spend more time to go out, make friends and meet more women...Who knows you will meet your woman soon. One thing more you should remember, no one is perfect so that don't put too high standard to find a woman... Best wish for you!!!
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
7 Jun 12
Hi king! I remember my son who is in second year college. I told him that if possible do not marry at very young age especially if you don't have job yet. But I don't want you also to stay single for the rest of your life. I want to have grandchildren also. Well, anyway there is a proper time for every thing king. But you have also to make a move.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
7 Jun 12
The least you can say is you tried. Its only normal for your parents to worry and try to help you out. Im not sure how old you are but still the right one will come when you least expect it. My siblings are all in long term rocky dependent relationships, but my parents dont see that they simple see me the stubborn indepdent single female. I get this all the time and reminded how Im single. I dont let it bother me as I know the right one will come when its right. I know many of my friends at 23 who have been married, and divorced had children with multiple people and I can say I havent. I just think if your young you are still growing and maturing a relationship usually doesnt last in those stages.