very difficult convince my clients to eliminate his hatred

@advokatku (4037)
Indonesia
June 14, 2012 4:12am CST
This afternoon, my client told to me, if his child continue cry and crying because miss with his mother who has been few months not meet again with him. Perhaps, because sense longing has been too long on hold, his child can only cry ... Honestly, I'm feel sorry. Be imagined in my mind, if his child is my child ... and I'm also trying to understand if his mother also must have felt longing to meet her son, but the hatred between the mother and the father keep strong even though the court had declared their marital relationship broke up with divorce. As lawyer of the father, I'm also feel guilty ... I've been trying to advise to not bring hate to the former spouse in relation children and parents. I've been ask my client to get rid of his hatred for a while. But my client said, he's still hard to forget his heartache. Oooh God ... very difficult convince my clients to eliminate his hatred in a while time, although his child has been cry with calling the name his mother.
2 people like this
4 responses
• Indonesia
14 Jun 12
Ouch that is bad, no matter how angry he is to his ex wife but he has no right to separate a child from the mother. There is ex wife or ex husband, but there is no such thing called ex child the child has nothing to do with the divorce, the child still need his mother and his father even the parent no longer live together. I think it is really cruel to not let the child meet the mother. Even the ex husband won the child custody but he must still give chance for his child to meet the mother. This man is being selfish because he only cares for what he feel toward his ex wife, but he doesnt care for his child's feeling. I know it wont be easy for you to convince your client, but please keep trying to convince him that his child doesnt deserve to be treated this way, to be separated from his mother.
@advokatku (4037)
• Indonesia
14 Jun 12
yes, I keep trying to woo and convince my client. Had crossed in my mind kidnap his son to arrange meet with his mother, but that's impossible can I do, right? as a lawyer, of course I can't betray my client
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
14 Jun 12
You are a good lawyer & a good parent, but dont kidnap the child because you may get trouble for kidnapping someone's kid. If your client is unable to meet his ex wife, why dont he asked his family to bring the child to his ex wife's house so he doesnt have to meet his child. Winning the custody of the child doesnt mean he has the right to block every communication or access of his ex wife to the child, right? I know nothing about divorce and custody law. I wish you the best for this case, hope everything will be solved soon.
@PageTurner (2827)
• United States
14 Jun 12
Hello advokatku This sort of behavior by your client is dispicable. No matter his feelings toward his former spouse, his actions are hurting his child. Why would anyone not think of the well being of their child, no matter their hatred toward someone else? I can only conclude it is because your client not only hates his ex wife, but also does not truly love his child. This is so sad. I applaud you for having a conscience about this. I imagine this isn't the first time you've dealt with it, and it won't be the last time. I hope that you are able to persuade future clients to do what is best for the child, but don't beat yourself up for not being able to do these things. Perhaps you may want to investigage changing your law practice to advocating for the lives of children, instead.
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
It's easy to said and done, some people are not into that. maybe the more that he loved this woman is twice the hate that he has now. this isn't something in our situation. sure, we can rationalize it but what happens if we get into their situation, having a family isn't as having a candy or a toy that can just put away when you're done. so sad for that family but maybe they aren't in love anymore.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
14 Jun 12
A child needs his mother. It's wrong to not let a child be with a parent if this parent is still there. This has nothing to do with being divorced. If you divorce you do that from an adult not from a child. I wonder who is the advocate of the child. Who is fighting for this child his rights and why your client is breaking his son this way. I don't think his son will every be thankful for the fact his father is not allowing him to be with his mother. As an advocate you should advice your client also if it comes to the kid what is the best arrangement. Sounds to me you are doing a lousy job if comes to that.
@advokatku (4037)
• Indonesia
14 Jun 12
Indeed, I did feel guilty. I take care their divorce. And my client could win custody of the child because of me. But I really do not think that at the end, the hate to the former spouse is still there and stored in the heart deepest depths of my clients. And what makes me feel guilty, hatred has been become a barrier for longing a child to his mother
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
Hello ADvokatku, What was the fault of the wife that made him hate her in the first place? that's one thing you never told us in this discussion. I couldn't really give much on the comment about why he hates her so much, but i do understand the child longing for his mom. I bet the child will rebel one day, but I hope this doesn't happen