What is the proper way to dicipline a 2-year-old?

United States
June 22, 2012 9:53am CST
My daughter is going through her "terrible two's" and I was wondering the best strategy to use when diciplining her. She of course gets into EVERYTHING and it is so hard to keep up with her. She will kick or throw things when she gets mad and I yell at her for it and tell her time and time again that what she is doing is wrong. Sometimes I even give her a little tap on her hands or on her butt. My friend's daughter, however, is the same age and her daughter don't act like a brat like mine does though. Her child screams on the top of her lungs and startles everyone around her and it is just for attention. She is going through the phase saying "THAT's MINE! THAT's MINE! She don't seem to dicipline her daughter the way I do and from what I gather, her daughter is just let lose and she knows she can get away with whatever she wants by screaming and carrying on. lol I'm so frustrated watching my friend parent because our ways are different. What is the right way to dicipline a 2-year-old? lol Any suggestions??? :)
1 person likes this
7 responses
@celticeagle (119388)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Jun 12
Kids know how to push our buttons. They are experts at it. They need to know what is expected of them and what isn't appropriate. If parents hurry to pick a child up because it is screaming and you are in public the child learns that if it screams you will pick it up. I would applaude the positive and ignore the negative. Time outs are affective for some children. There are alot of books out there. Heres some good advice: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/top-ten-discipline-principles Amazon.com is a great place to look for books. Not very expensive if you go for the paperbacks and ones that have been out a while.
• United States
26 Jun 12
Yes that is very true! Thanks for the advice!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119388)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jun 12
You are so welcome! Love and Logic and Beyond Consequences are both great books.
• Singapore
27 Jun 12
kids nowadays are very smart. They know how to push the parents limits. Both father and mother must hv the same agreement on discipline the kids. If one of the parent is soft hearted and always give in, whatever way you use will be useless. Be firm when punish the kid for misbehave else they will climb over your head.
• United States
29 Jun 12
Thanks for commenting! I completely agree!
@GemmaR (8526)
23 Jun 12
I think that you have to be very careful when you're disciplining a toddler, because they don't understand why you're punishing them. If they're just screaming, then ignoring them would be a good thing to do because it is wrong to make them believe that screaming can get them attention. If you ignore them, making sure that there is no way that they can hurt themselves, then they will stop because they know that causing a tantrum isn't doing them any good. Most toddlers behave like this at some point, and it is most likely that they will grow out of it in the end.
• United States
26 Jun 12
Yes! See as of right now, this doesn't apply to my daughter, but it does apply to my friend's daughter lol. She lets her get her way when she screams and she does this often. It is frustrating to watch for me, but I don't really have a say in the matter because it's not my child.
• United States
22 Jun 12
There isn't a very good way to discipline a 2 year old. Tapping on the butt I see no problem with and the occasional hand slap. I think that making them sit in the corner and think about what they did can be effective as well. But either way you look at it the terrible twos are bad, that's why they are called that.
• United States
26 Jun 12
Yes, I tap her on the butt and on the hands. The only thing I have not really been working on is the time-out. I've seen this mentioned and it is something I am considering to do with my daughter. My mom says they go through terrible 2's, 3's, 4's, etc... LOL! I thought that was funny. Thanks for your response! :)
@nonersays (2757)
• United States
22 Jun 12
My 2 year old gets different punishments depending on what he did. If he screams at us, or hits us he gets a time out. If he's doing something we've told him over and over and over NOT to do, or if he is doing something that could hurt him, he gets a pop on the hand or hiney and THEN put into a time out. Mostly he' very well behaved other than going through the terrible twos.
• United States
26 Jun 12
That's a good idea! My daughter is mostly well-behaved too, but now it's all about testing the waters lol.
@Shazooo (296)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 12
Well, I used to help out my aunt with my cousin who's also around 2 years old at that time... Whenever my little cousin is naughty, my aunt would tell her to stop it in a really stern voice,not yelling,don't ever yell a kid, u could scare them and they would get even worse, talk to them in a stern voice...don't just tell to stop it, tell them why they have to stop it... Even if they can't fully understand, your soft bud still stern voice will guide them :) hope this helps
• United States
26 Jun 12
Hi Shazoo, I try to talk to her in a stern voice, but she will still continue to test me and do what she knows she isn't suppose to do lol. I do explain to her what she is doing and how it is wrong, but sometimes I can't help but to yell because sometimes it seems like that is the only way she will listen. She listens to her dad more because he has that manly, deep voice. What I do is talk to her in a regular voice and repeat myself a few times. If she still continues to not listen, that is when I yell. Sometimes that doesn't even work lol. Thanks for you input! :)
• Jacksonville, Florida
22 Jun 12
I know people don't agree with me but I believe spare the rod spoil the child. I don't think there is anything wrong with a tap on the hand or the butt at times. I'm not saying every little thing but something that could hurt them or someone else, heck yeah they need to learn. The other way I discipline is time out which does not work for most kids but for my youngest daughter who was on the go a lot she HATED sitting still for any length of time. Time out worked on her BUT no matter what she did, I was very consistent and did not let her out of time out until the timer went off. That is very important. If you let them get out or keep getting up that will not work either. Any parenting needs consistency or they will think you are a joke. I also think re-directing their path is helpful. They go for something their not allowed to be near, say no and re-direct them to a neat toy they like. Get them interested in something different than the thing they were going for. Another thing is if it's something like hitting, I tell them no, if they do it again I sit down and put them in my lap and hold their hands. I don't let them get off my lap and I tell them I am stopping you because you could not stop yourself. I have tried almost all methods I mentioned and they all work at different times and for different things. I hope I helped a little. And there is no perfect parent, we all have to learn what works for us & our children. =)
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes! My daughter won't sit for a long length of time either, but giving her a time out is something that I should consider because as you've mentioned, it's good to start now and be consistent so she doesn't take me as a joke. This was helpful! Thank you! :)