Some people should not be alive.

@mentalward (14697)
United States
June 22, 2012 2:17pm CST
I'm talking about people like my husband. His bad habits should have killed him a long time ago and I often wonder just what is keeping him alive. My only answer so far is "spite". He went to a new doctor because his old doctor refused to give him any more hydrocodone. He takes that for nerve damage he suffered from triple bypass surgery due to severely blocked aorta and femoral arteries. He's been taking it for over two years now so it's no wonder his old doctor stopped giving it to him. This new doctor, aside from giving him the hydrocodone, has made him get blood work since he's a new patient. My husband just got the results of the blood work and told me that his total cholesterol level is 399. (It should be below 200.) His triglyceride level (the bad stuff) is... are you ready?... 1,285!!! "Normal" is below 150. Now, he's still smoking, still drinking every day, still eating fried, greasy, fatty, salty foods. I think he was actually BRAGGING about his horrible test results and the fact that he's still alive. Anyone who knows me understands that I care nothing at all for my husband. He's hurt me badly over and over in our 8 years together. He's lied, made false promises, tried to keep me a prisoner, tried to separate me from my family, basically done everything he could to kill any feelings I had for him... and he succeeded. So, I don't care if he dies tomorrow. I just think he'll live to be over 100 because, as they say, only the good die young. (I'm still here because I can't afford to get out on my own at the present.) Do you have or have you known anyone with such high triglyceride levels? How about that high total cholesterol level? If so, are they still alive and what is their health like? If they died, was that the cause? I'm just curious about whether I should I hang around and wait to collect his life insurance or just get out when I can afford it.
6 people like this
11 responses
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Jun 12
mentalward this is so familiar like I am reading a discussion from you years back. dear heart how much do you need to live this man' as it looks like he is going to live forver and a day.You are noit getting any younger, things seem to be getting worse and one fine day he will just keel over and thats that.It is time since he has killed all love you had for him for you to pack it up , get anyone you have who will help, even go to your churchfor help, but get the hellout of there. this would so depress me I would be a nervous Nelly or worse. I am thinking now of you and your own health and welfare. Do you have small children or grown children? is there not any way you can get help financially and just up and leave him it might even turn him around but I am now caring only for you. your story touches me so.I was so lucky to have a great hubby' and I feel for someone who is in a situation like yours. I have never seen any of my family with triglycerides that high. so am saying move out now and start to live a normal life. divorce him for cruelty and perhaps in time met a man who will love you and Cherish you as you should be treated let us know w hat happens.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
22 Jun 12
Oh! I forgot one thing. Believe it or not, Virginia does not allow mental or emotional cruelty as grounds for divorce. When I found that out, my jaw hit the floor! They don't allow it! I guess Virginia wants one partner to kill the other first but then divorce isn't necessary. So, I can't leave and get a divorce for his mental cruelty. HE could actually divorce me for desertion! I also have found that there is nothing like "Legal Aid" for people in my financial position in Virginia. They make it extremely difficult for the poor to get any legal help at all so that is one more reason why I'm still here.
3 people like this
@alutka (211)
22 Jun 12
I have high cholesterol, but with a different powodu.U me a matter of inheritance, associated with the liver, but I take care of yourself, do not eat greasy, I have a lot of traffic, often doing research, I take special leki.Moj score is 400, but sometimes fails me to be a little below, but I think that if I did not care for themselves would be really wrong with me, I'm sorry about your husband, I wish you patience and strength in later life.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
23 Jun 12
I can understand when high cholesterol or high blood pressure is inherited. That really is harder to control. But, when a person creates these problems from their horrible lifestyle, they have no excuse. It just makes sense to me to live a healthy lifestyle, whether you have inherited problems or not. An unhealthy lifestyle will only make you feel worse. I wish you luck in controlling your cholesterol level.
@alutka (211)
23 Jun 12
not inherited high cholesterol, but a condition, which results in a high poziom.U me it is related to bad liver function, it does not produce good cholesterol, but only evil, because in spite of themselves bdania it is still very high and medications may not always pomoc.Mam hope that I helped you understand my problem, but I agree with the need to take care of themselves in all ages, with each disease.
@marguicha (94819)
• Chile
22 Jun 12
It does seem that your husband is seeking every single way to legally kill himself. And he is not succeeding, as anyone can see. I cannot tell you what to do, because we all know of each other what we tell here and no more. I think I would try to get out when I can afford it, but then, you talk about disability and about a son who is on food stamps. So the picture is a lot more complicated. Seeminly healthy people die every day and people with all sorts of illness refuse to die. We donĀ“t know.
@bunnybon7 (36504)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Jun 12
my step dad was like that. he had all that and more problems by the time he was 50yrs. yet he continued to drink, smoke, and eat anything not good for him. he was the rottenest man i ever knew. like a devil himself. yet, he lived to be nearly 71yrs. so my mom stayed with it. although i cant see why she went on caring for him all that time. she got his little bit of life insurance but i dont think it was worth it.
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
22 Jun 12
My husband is 52 now and already had a triple bypass. I can't see him living to 70, let alone past 70 but you never know. He has about $200,000.00 in life insurance on himself so it may be worth hanging around but he'll probably outlive me. I don't care about him any more than I'd care about any complete stranger and I've learned how to be happy in spite of him. If I ever do get a small income outside of my disability checks, I'm going to take out yet another life insurance policy on him. Term life insurance is a LOT cheaper per month than whole life and I think I can count on him not living another 20 years. As long as I make the premium payments, that's even more money for me. I decided early that, as long as he wants to be a jerk and kill himself with his bad habits and treat everyone badly, I may as well try to make something out of it.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25891)
• Canada
22 Jun 12
wow, some time soon something will knock him for a loop. i know a lady who has diabetes, knows she does but still eats anything and everything (she cannot get much exercise due to her knees) but her sugar levels are in the high 20s! crazy. she is doing herself more harm than good.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35034)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Personally if it took a New Doctor to find these results, overall it is a Good thing he switched and the other Doctor was doing nothing for him. These are really Super high levels, and it is a wonder he is still living. I am hoping if he is willing to listen to a Doctor and do what he needs to he can get these down to where he does have a chance at life. Many times when people find themselves doing things that a Bad for them, and have levels that are extremely high, it can make them really crabby and hard to get along with. Only when they (if they want too), realize what they are doing to themselves and choose to take things to help them start to feel better can start to be nicer and more understanding and easier to be around. Hopefully they can find stuff to help lower this that he will choose to want to do so that it will be easier to be around him as well.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
24 Jun 12
If you wait until you afford it you may never leave because life is funny that way, as far as leaving him that is your decision, you have to weight what to you want more to get away from him or to wait until you can afford it which may be never considering you just said it has been 8 years. Nobody can make that decision for you.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
25 Jun 12
Well, it's a matter of living here with a roof over my head, heat in the winter and food in my belly OR living on the street. There are no places to live here that my disability income can afford and still allow me to eat and have electricity. My medical needs will take at least $300 out of my check which would leave me with around $600 for rent, food, heat, electricity, transportation, etc. I can't even find a tiny place to rent for $600! Typical in our country, it would be a matter of my eating OR getting the medications I need. Our government gives us practically nothing. My disability income is too high to qualify for free medical assistance, food stamps or even help with housing. All that goes for people with children on welfare and, with the massive influx of illegal Mexicans who come to this country and have babies (making them legal caretakers of an "American citizen") getting welfare, there's not enough to natural-born Americans who really need it. So, until I can find a part-time job proofreading (which I did for about 20 years) or anything else I'm capable of doing, I'm stuck here if I don't want to live on the streets and I don't.
• United States
23 Jun 12
I am reminded of a scene from grumpy old men when the 100 year old grandfather is saying how he eats bacon every day and still outlives everyone. "is there a point to your story? No I just like telling it" Either way, I wouldn't put your life on hold waiting for someone else's health to fail. There is always another way to do things.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
24 Jun 12
I loved that movie. With my luck, my husband would live to be 100 or more. Bacon is his favorite meat. You're right, I shouldn't wait around. I have no choice at the moment because I simply cannot afford to move but I will move the moment I have enough income. I'm doing everything I can now to find extra income.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
23 Jun 12
I can relate to this situation because I know someone very close who was into this situation. Well, nothing is permanent in this world. Sooner or later, he will soon get the consequence of his bad habits.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
24 Jun 12
That is very true but, the way my luck has been, my husband will live another 20 years at least. I cannot wait that long. It's miserable living with him but at least I am able to get out and enjoy myself a bit and my son and I also do a lot of things together, like gardening and cooking.
• India
23 Jun 12
provide him some more junk foods all day breakfast,lunch,dinner and who knows he may die the next morning...lol take him to the psychiatrist.that's the only way you could change him
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
29 Jun 12
Wow! I think it is spite. I have seen people before that are terrible to themselves and they keep on kicking along. It does make you wonder. I have known people that take wonderful care of themselves that have suffered horrible illnesses and passed. Maybe some of it is genetic. How old are or was his mom and dad?