To go towards Husband's family or my family.

United States
June 22, 2012 11:41pm CST
Okay so two and a half weeks ago my husband lost his job and only because of our savings are we able to live in the area we do now. The jobs that are available here are not that great, so we were thinking of moving back towards family to see if we could get on our feet there. The only thing is my parents live on the east coast and my husbands parents are on the west coast. Which ever way we choose we will be hurting someone and I am so lost. I have tried making pro and con lists to see which one would be better and I asked my kids which way they might want to go. I am a wife and mother and for the first time in many years I am so lost that I am going in circles. Does anyone have any advice on how to make this choice? Any help would be great.
2 people like this
4 responses
@Outcast (633)
• United States
23 Jun 12
Dont only include your self in making a pros and cons list. Get the hubby and kids involved in the list as well. I am pretty sure that they will have some insite on which way to go. After all it would be a family that decides on were to move. They shouldnt leave it up just to you. Hopefully it will all work out for the best.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 12
Thanks I knew about getting the hubby involved with the pro and con list, but I never thought to get the kids involved. I know they are little, but they do know what they want and don't want. It is better to figure this out as a family and do what is best for all not just the hubby and me. I am just hoping to find a way to make the most people happy and try not to hurt people. I guess by letting the other side of the family that we don't choose, let them know that they are still loved, but that as a family we decided which way to go.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (104236)
• Chile
25 Jun 12
You should also think which of the two families have more means to help you. Even if they both love all of you, you would not want to become a burden if you can help it. This part, of course, is something that has to be discussed without the children around.
@ranay85 (16)
• United States
25 Jun 12
I would honestly take both families out of the picture and look for a place to live where you both can find good jobs and an affordable place to live and a good community. Who says you have to move to the west or east coast... you could live right smack dab in the middle :). I know you don't want to hurt either family but you have to think about what's best for "your" family ( you, your hurband and kids)
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Hi Minnie, Do a little research and find out which direction might offer the best options for jobs for your husband. If both are fairly equal then I would just start searching for a place to live and go with whatever came up first. You can't please everyone and I'm sure that the families will understand that you are doing what you have to do to survive.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jun 12
Yeah both families are really understanding, but it is mainly his mom and my mom that is the problem. They say they don't mind if we choose the other side, but it hard to make your mom feel bad. The cost of living where my husbands family is at is a bit lower, because they are a farming community. Where as my moms area is around a military town so they base the rent of places of the military pay.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164468)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jul 12
hi minnie oh myG do not come tol the west coast if you mean California, we are second highest in unemployment in the whole USA jobs are almost impossible to get unless uou are a professiobal like lawyer or doctor and rents oh my God skyt high, myson was out of work for sev eraly years and the job he has now paysless than the last one he w as laid off of.Just a friendly warning as the economy stinks here and I landed in this tiresome retirement home =b ecause we were e victed 3 y ears ago an made homeless., my son still is nogt making enough to affort another 2 bedroom apt. the rent is not kiddin 1200 to 1500 a month and these are not gtop of the model apartments. are you the daughter of Grandpa Bob by any chance? anway it would not be wise to look for work here