Dating your friend's ex!?

@Lore2009 (7388)
United States
June 27, 2012 12:17pm CST
When I was younger, in one of the group of friends that I had, 3 of the girls dated the same guy at different times... and while he was dating the 3rd friend we all went on a trip to Las Vegas together and we all shared one room. AWKWARD! But it wasn't... for them, I guess. Anyways, would you be able to date or be in a relationship with your friend's exes? Why or why not? Have you and if so how was it? I never have.. and I don't think I ever could.
3 people like this
20 responses
@DenverLC (1146)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Why? Your friends have the same taste for one guy? Wow, that is quite exciting and enticing but its not really normal in a circle of friends who respect each other and who value the real essence of friendship between them. I think that is more on the lust part and not love. Poor girls, lucky guy.. (joke)
1 person likes this
@PageTurner (2827)
• United States
28 Jun 12
Hello Lore2009 Many years ago I met Mrs. Turner. She was dating my best friend. I instantly fell in love with her when I saw her. She and I didn't speak other than introductions. A while after that, I was the Best Man in their wedding. I saw her a couple of times over the next 10 years. My friend and her divorced and I didn't see her for 13 years, but during this time I was still very good friends with my friend. After the 13 years I divorced. My friend said he could no longer be friends with a divorce'. I tried to continue to be his friend, but he was very cold to me and refused to have anything to do with me. I waited two years, then I contacted Mrs. Turner and asked her on a date. We hadn't seen each other in 15 years. We dated and married. Peace
• United States
28 Jun 12
In all of this, the thing that caught my attention was your friend saying he could not be friends with a divorcee. How mean, didn't you remain friends when he got a divorce? I don't understand the prejudice.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Jun 12
Yes, kkaria, I never understood that as well. You have no idea how close of friends I thought we were. He had no other family, and I adopted him into our extended family. He was included in all of our family get togethers, including taking him with us on annual vacations. I also sponsored him on trips overseas, and provided him with wardrobes, bought him computers, and even bought him a house. He and I were friends for over 25 years. When I divorced, he turned his back on me completely. I would have never considered approaching his ex-wife because of my friendship, but after 2 years I reconsidered. I suspect that he had designs on my ex-wife. Peace
1 person likes this
@kkaria309 (297)
• United States
28 Jun 12
No I do not think that would be possible for me, I am not that easy-going or open-minded. And staying in one room with your ex and his current gf, I don't think I can stay in the same hotel.
• United States
28 Jun 12
Ha! I think Mrs. Turner would be the same way!
@JenInTN (27549)
• United States
2 Jul 12
I think it would be pretty weird. I have never been one to date a friend's ex either. I haven't ever been attracted to one of them either though so I am not sure how that would have worked out if I had been. I know a lot of people that have went on to have relationships with their friends' exes and it seemed to be ok with them and between them...I think it would be a little too weird for me though.
28 Jun 12
Really that happened? that's way out of my league, I never have had shared a boyfriend with my friends even if they broke up. But I'm an open-minded person, so I guess the guy just felt he's so near with his "destiny" that's why he's just around your circle of friends. May be later you will find out that he's going to persuade you too! And only to realize that it is you he's looking for, joke! :D
@adforme (2116)
28 Jun 12
Wow. What a question. I like to think that there are more fish in the sea. Some guys may be too irresistable not to take the opportunity to date, but think. If one is being seen going out with an ex of a friend, I believe it will create quite a stir. Boyfriends/girlfriends come and go. I have always believed in creating a comfortable dynamic in a friendship. This idea came with age. If a friend is dating, and I am not, I would choose to see that friend less. In other words, the more you have in common with your friends with respect to your dating statuses the better.
• India
28 Jun 12
Hi friend, i am not interested in dating with my friends partner. Already i have my wife and happy to date with her. I wonder how the 3 girls dated with the same guy, even after knowing that he was his friend's ex.
@se7enthbird (8326)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I don`t think i could do this too. I mean there are a lot of guys or gals out there right? My friends encountered this situation too and it was really awkward. It was two girls only though. I was really not feeling good about it, but like what they say as a friend you need to be happy and support them the way. Not because you are friends, but because you have respect and they have their own freedom. My cousins are much worse. They are three girls (sisters) after the older one dumped and rejected the guy, the guy asks the youngest to date and she still accepts the guy, even though she knows that the older one dumped him. They dated for a year and that`s more awkward !! and the second sister (the one in the middle) rejected another guy. This another guy does the same to the youngest making the same situation repeated. The three girls were really close. But it gets weird when the youngest and her lover where hanging out in their house
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I never dated anyone of my friends exes. It will only cost trouble and I don't want my life miserable. So, i prefer to look for a person I can call mine than to have a second hand. lol
@taura2p (349)
• Romania
28 Jun 12
I would never date an ex of my friends, even if I knew they do not have feelings for each other anymore. It would be very awkward to me, and I would always think if the relationship does or does not bother my friend. My conscience would not allow me to do this.
@ellegor (41)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I avoid dating my friend's exes to show respect to my friend and for me, its not descent. I just don't like doing it. I value friendship and one way showing it is to respect your friend feelings.
@512771751 (1096)
• China
28 Jun 12
It was crazy to do that. When I was in university, my roomate's ex always called me of emailed me, I don't like this feeling. And everytime I receive his email or short message, I deleted them suddently, I was afraid that my roomate would see that.
28 Jun 12
Well it is easy to say NO but WHAT IF you have fallen for that guy because he was doing the best he can because he sincerely love you how will you resist? Well you just have to be broadminded to accept that things like that happens.Admit it that we all make mistakes and everybody deserves a second chance.What I think is that it is more shameful if he had relationship with the 3 girls at the same time right! but the 2 girls was his ex that means their his past and the 3rd girl is his future, there's nothing wrong with that unless the 2 exes are holding grudge with that guy then that's a different story.
@padu19 (1441)
• India
28 Jun 12
Hi.. Even I would never do that. Infact I would not even like to imagine that way. According to me, this scenario is not that awkward. There was a friend of mine who dated my best friend's boy friend. Both the boy and the girl did not reveal this to my friend. They kept betraying her for more than a month and one fine day he purposely started a stupid quarrel and made her say 'let's break up!'. He called the next day and got a confirmation from her again if they are really going to break up. Once she said 'Yes. We'll break up.', he just hung the call. This lady and that guy started dating very openly then. That girl did not even mind to tell my friend that they are in an affair. A few of them would have even thought that my friend was the reason for breakup. Not sure what that guy kept telling everyone about my friend! I hate that guy!!
• United States
28 Jun 12
hi lore2009! i suppose this is a bit opposite from what you are asking, but the psychoartist was married before my current marriage, and my husband mr.psychoartist was the best man at that wedding because he was best friends with my first husband...i know this sounds complicated...we met when we were all in college together and mr. psychoartist and i fell immediately in love, but he had just married a horrid young lady whom we shall refer to as ms. skunk and i had just begun dating his best friend, mr. rancid....anyhow, mr. psychoartist and i endured marriage to these intolerable people for about 20 years..and we got divorces from those people and met up again and married 25 years after our first meeting...when we met again, we had not seen each other in fifteen years, but it was like we had always known we were meant to be together....so i did marry my ex husband's best friend...
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
28 Jun 12
Depends on your friend character. - If egolisitc and narrowminded it will be difficult.
Friends comes in different characters .Hence if the friends is egolistic and sensitive with narrow mindedness , then it will be difficult to date his ex gf with his permission.Usually we will ask the guy whether it ok or not to date your xbf. Because ultimately the guy will compare u with her and feel intimated and lose face if u date his xgf successfully. People will talk.Whether your are the 3rd party that cause the first relatiosnhip to break.
• United States
28 Jun 12
I would never date someone my friend has been with. for one it would be crossing the line and I would never do it. I am sure the friend would have shared some private things about their relationship with the other friends. It is just not nice to do..
• India
27 Jun 12
Never ever.. because here culture is little different.. first of all here dating is not very common but if and if you have gf you can date them easily.. and i will never date a girl who was a gf of my friend. because i will not be able to trust her. because she mistrusted my friend first. and now she can do with with me. but lets say my friend mistrusted her. i think now she will be with me only to take revenge from him.. so better i marry a girl that loves me not such girl who is with me to take revenge from my friend take care
@SomeCowgirl (32265)
• United States
27 Jun 12
I haven't dated my friend's ex but I've dated my ex's friend... Yeah that's right, I've dated an ex's friend and it wasn't all that awkward. We were friends too, and while it might have seemed really strange to everyone else, it was just fine with us.
@Bhebelen14 (5206)
• Philippines
27 Jun 12
Hi love2009, I never dated my friend's ex but I dated my cousin's ex. Actually he is my first boyfriend but not serious because I am so young during that time and the only purpose I dated or having a relationship with him to get revenge for my cousin which is very bad. I know I made a very very big mistake for hurting someone who took me seriously and dumped him afterwards. Anyway I already asked for his forgiveness and forget all the things happened in the past.