I think it is really sad...

My Living Room/Playroom - This is supposed to be my living room but we use it as a playroom...
Jacksonville, Florida
July 2, 2012 12:32pm CST
I babysit in my home and I love what I do. The problem is people judge me before giving me a chance. Let me explain. I live in a Modular Home and some people before they even come into my home they turn around and leave. Inside my home is clean, and super kid friendly. I don't have a living room, it is just one big playroom. I have over 13 years experience with children of all ages and really good references. It is just very frustrating that they do not even come in and look to see if they like me and the environment. They judge me based on the fact that I don't have a lot of money to be in a big house. It makes me so sad... Have you ever been judged this way? Isn't it sad? =(
7 people like this
21 responses
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Jul 12
I used to babysit also and probably was judged more than I realized by things like that. I never had a big house or anything either but I was always good with the kids and my home was very kid-friendly. I mostly relied on recommendations from people who already knew me and knew that I was good with kids. There were very few kids that I watched whose parents were ont friends of mine or a mutual aquantaince.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
Yeah probably. These people turn back around from my driveway. They do not even come in and give me a chance! They do not come and look inside, they do not meet me, nothing! It just blows my mind... I have a ton of people that refer me too, but some of them do not believe the people because they judge me based on my house! This one girl was referred to me by one of my best clients and she still would not give me a chance because of my house outside! If she came in she would have seen how kid friendly my house is and how good I am with children. But she did not even give me a chance!
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
4 Jul 12
I have been. I once owned a horse who I had almost 27 years. Major was 31 when I had to put him down. Anyway some People couldn't understand why I needed to work out at the stable,where Major was,boarded so much! I did to work off his board! I couldn't pay it other wise! So I was critized! By some woman I worked with who think they are better then everyone else! They would tell me I was wasting gasonline driving out their to work at the stable so much! They were so clueless and mean as the same time! I really dislike people like that!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
I absolutely hate being judged by people that don't know me for anything. Or people who think they are better than others. It aggravates me so much! Why would they care what you spent in gas? What does that have to do with them? I cannot stand people that do not know how to mind their business.
@derek_a (10903)
4 Jul 12
Yes, this is sad. I think that the values of the world are upside down sometimes. Material possessions meaning more than the people. But the spirit of different people will live within us constantly and a kind and compassionate person can be very powerful and many people would realize this if they would only put life first as wealth is just a transient thing. What is more powerful than a person who others like to be with. Yes, I think we have all been judged this way from time to time. I remember once a person in a big Mercedes car who sped into a parking space that he could see that I was turning into in my more modest Ford car. He had a Mercedes you see. He owned the road.. As a Zen practitioner I aim to accept and not judge - to forgive, but some people make it very difficult. I guess the art of living is to accept that life is as it is, and all things hold a lesson, and we don't like all lessons and are often slow to learn. This way, even rude and judgemental people have something we can learn from. Sadness has also something to teach.. The difficulty is opening up to it and examining it closely.. _Derek
@oindy54 (3446)
• India
2 Jul 12
I can empathize with you as I have had a lot of people judging me without trying to know further. Many people judge by external appearances and never venture to analyze qualities or experience. It is very nice to hear that you enjoy what you do. This is very important for any profession or else we can never be at peace. I think it would help to ask people who are happy with your work to spread the good word. Recommendations can help one immensely. I am sure you will find greater success with each passing day. Wish you the very best in life. You are a very caring and nice person and I really pray that good things come your way, that you may get what you want and deserve.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
I'm sorry, I know how you feel. It is hurtful and unfair. That's right, they never try to go further than the cover or outer appearance. I do absolutely love watching and working with children. =) Yeah, their all people who tell others about me which is great but some of them still do want to come in. They see the house I live in and they think the other people are lying. I don't get it. I do have some people that still want me to watch their kids because they know I love and care for the children in the right manner. But it still bothers me when some people judge me so easily without even getting to know me or giving me a chance... Thank you so much, I am patiently waiting for the good things in my life. =)
@oindy54 (3446)
• India
4 Jul 12
It is great to hear that you love children so much. It is unfortunate that people judge so fast without even trying to understand in greater depth. How many children you babysit at the same time? It sounds really exciting to me. It must be fun having so many innocent souls there in your place.
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
Yes I do love children. I never have more than 2 other children besides my own at a time. With my children it would be 5 kids all together. It is exciting, never a dull moment here! =)
• United States
2 Jul 12
It is definitely sad if people are judging you based on what you live in rather than the quality of care that you can give their children. I would much rather have my children in a place that is not as expensive as some houses I have seen if the quality of care is better, because that is really what is important, at least in my opinion. There is absolutely nothing that states that a poor person cannot give quality care. In fact, many people with a lot of money would not even consider being a daycare worker, because they do not need the money, and they cannot really expect someone of a similar financial status to do it, either.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
Yeah I think it is really sad too. It bothers me so much! Just because my house is not the biggest or the best does not mean I am a bad childcare provider. I love watching kids and I have great references from people that actually did give me a chance! The quality should be the most important thing, but sadly not to the people here I guess. I have always been told never judge a book by its cover and it is so true! There are some people in big houses that do it here but most of them are actual Home Daycare Centers, not just babysitting... I charge a LOT less than them. I just wish they would come in and see the place and get to know me. Then if they still did not like it fine. But to just pull in my driveway and then leave is just awful to me!!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 12
I agree with you that you can't judge a book by its cover, and that does not just apply to people but also houses. There are some houses that I have seen where the outside looks rather rundown and unkempt, but inside is very neat and tidy ... not at all what you would expect from looking at the outside. Similarly, there are some houses that look majestic from the outside, and on the inside they are a disaster area. Personally, I am not that particular about cleanliness to a degree. I mean, I don't want my children in a place where there is food debris and dangerous things lying around, but I don't really mind some clutter and toys being left out. I think that if a house is too pristine, then that person probably won't be much fun and would not play very well with my child, because he or she would be too worried about things being messy. I think that a little clutter and mess comes with having children around, and I would wonder about people that do not think in a similar way.
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Jul 12
Absolutely, people as well as houses. We should never judge from the outside. I am only particular when it comes to my house, lol. Because I do have people coming here so I don't let it get dirty at all. Messy from toys, of course because of the kids but nothing nasty ever. I totally agree with you! If a house is perfectly clean all the time then that means most likely the kids will not have fun because the person will probably be fussy about them making a mess with toys too! Which is crazy to me but I know there are people like that out there.
1 person likes this
@Bhebelen14 (4561)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I admire you having a long experience with children of all ages that wa something amazing. I think better not be sad because of those persons who judged you based on your financial status, for me they just jelous for the very interesting achievement that you have done. Just focus on what your doing and I know someday you can have all the best thing in life because taking care of children was not easy. Also the room was big and very good place for kids. Goodluck.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
Thank you. I have been working with children for a very long time. I love what I do! =) I am trying not to let it bother me but that is difficult. I am better than what they think of me and I want a fair chance to prove that. Thank you, I do have a good set up for the kids to keep them safe and let them have fun. =)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
If I have a child and living near to your neighborhood, for sure I will let you take care my child. You very nice and has a big heart for kids. Keep it up.
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Jul 12
Aw, thank you so much!
@peavey (15856)
• United States
2 Jul 12
Yes, that is sad. People don't know what they might be missing. As others have said, if you had a big house and it looked like you had a lot of money, you might not want to babysit at all. The kind of house you have shouldn't matter at all, as long as you have a safe and friendly place for the kids. I have been judged and am now because I live in an area that isn't the best. It's a decent neighborhood though.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
I don't think a big house should matter either! Some people here have big houses and watch children but they actually have a home daycare center, not just babysit. And they charge way more than I do too! I don't live in the best neighborhood either so I understand what your saying. It's not a horrible neighborhood though either. I hope all of the judging stops for both of us, it is so unfair!!
@peavey (15856)
• United States
2 Jul 12
For what it's worth, I would rather have a babysitter than a business care for my child.
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Jul 12
Thank you, I would too. More attention on the kids, less problems and cheaper. You cannot go wrong, lol!
• United States
7 Jul 12
Here's a question for you. Do these people see YOU before they come into the house. Because this makes no sense to me. I have a feeling I know whats going on here. And I have a ton of experience with this sort of thing. They KNOW what your house looks like before they even step on the front steps. They saw the number. If they didn't want to leave the kid in a modular, and I don't know why I lived in one and they are spacious. They would have just turned around and left. They NEVER would have rang the bell or knocked. No, they waited until they saw YOU. That is my opinion. Something tells me these women didn't like it that you are young and pretty. Trust me, I am sure you are going to say no no that can't be it, you might want to, just to keep from looking egotistical but I know what I'm talking about. A plus b equals c in this case.
• Jacksonville, Florida
8 Jul 12
No they sit in my driveway for a second, turn around and leave. They do not see me at all. I do have my website on the place where they find me with plenty of pictures of me with children. So if they did not like what I looked like they would not call to begin with... Most of these people are from up north that are only here because it is a military town so they call it a trailer not a modular but it is a modular, it has the brick foundation underneath and it is over 1200 sq feet. It is a nice size! I am not sure what their problem is but I do believe it is because they want to see a nicer house when they pull up. Sad but very true.
• United States
8 Jul 12
That is very sad. That is a very nice size. Maybe put a picture of your house too? Or maybe when you make the appointment, be waiting outside. That way they might find it awkward if you are standing there to actually be ignorant enough to drive away?
• India
5 Jul 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, Some people will judge others wrongly in this way, don't feel a lot for this. Just do your work and get benefits from it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Jul 12
Yes some people do falsely judge others. So unfair and wrong.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
yes, people these days seem to judge one another on how much money you make and the stuff you have. life is not about stuff, it is about experiences. my hubby's sister and her hubby are all about putting up appearances and meanwhile are in debt up to their eyeballs! it is so not worth it to do that. i would rather be poor.
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Jul 12
Yeah they do base the person itself by what they have. It is truly sad to me. Life is about what we experience. I would not want to put up a front either, way too time consuming! I would much rather admit that I am poor...
• United States
5 Jul 12
It is so sad many people judge you this way. They dismiss you and then pick a person with a " Good looking ho,me" but does their child get better care? Maybe and maybe not! hang in there . Not everybody is This judgmental
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Jul 12
It is sad but somehow these judgemental idiots always seem to find me! I wish they would just leave me the heck alone if they are not planning on letting me babysit for them. Why waste someone's time? Why would they not call and at least make up a reason why their not using me? Ugh. So frustrated about it! Had to vent, sorry.
@GardenGerty (89960)
• Marion, Kansas
4 Jul 12
You do not need that snobby kind of clientele. You need real people who appreciate a kid friendly sitter who does more than park them in front of the tv. You need people to come in and visit with you and observe. If they truly want what is good for their children they will pay attention to the quality of the person over the location or style of the home.
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
I agree with you. The first time it happened to me that is what I thought too but now it happened again and it is starting to bother me more. I know what a good babysitter I am and how safe my home is but it bothers me that they do not even give me a chance. It is unfair to judge like that. Apparently they want me to have the biggest house and the best of everything. Too bad I am not rich!
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
4 Jul 12
What's a modular home? Do you mean run down outside? I know many who judge for inside, and outside of someones home even the neighbourhood. I don't think it defines the person either. I lived in the same house for 24 years, they are older homes and my parents never updated it. So some of the carpets and furniture is from 30 years ago. But we have animals and well its wear and tear also 4 kids have been raised in this house. Many just look at it and say its gross. One wall we started taking the wallpaper off about 9 years ago (yes no hurry to redorate) and the style in the 70s and 80s weren't always nice. I knew a girl I went to school with her house was a pig sty I mean now looking at it like a hoarders house. Her mom was an amasing lady nicest the house look like a disaster but it didn't change her as a person. I would if looking for a babysitter or daycare meet them, and sort of interview now if the house was unsafe then I can unstand that.
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
A modular home is kind of like a bigger trailer except there is brick underneath just like a regular home. Basically people look at it like a trailer but it is not a trailer. No it is not run down outside. I have a garden out there and everything, it's cute. But it is not big. It is a 4 bedroom 2 bath home, 1200 sq feet. It is in the shape of a trailer, long instead of wide like a house... Yeah well they do not even come into my house. They turn in my driveway then back up & leave without even coming in!! It is so wrong. My house is very safe for children. My living room is a giant playroom! And my whole house is child proof, I have 3 kids myself so I keep things safe for them.
@Hatley (157426)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Jul 12
hi lovingmybabies once again first response flew off, yes Iam 85 and tried to tell someone how to do something. they get this glassy look and blow me off. I know what they are thinking shes old and senile so what she says matters not.I have even heard some younger people say oh now I would never live to be 80 ,you will be senile. thats so stupid. If you are intelligent at fifty good chances you will be intelligent in your eighties as mental health goes along with physical health.use your brain and it will prosper into old age. its sad that people take it forgranted judging us like that.
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jul 12
People make crazy judgements about things they have no idea about. It is hurtful and wrong. I know I will not live until 80 but that is my own fault. I am a poor eater and many diseases run in my family. People in my family die young. =( Your right, if someone is smart at 50 they will be smart until they die. People just don't know.
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
I just looked at your picture and I'm thinking, what's wrong with that? It seems like a permament room since you do this on a regular basis, but I guess parents want their kids to have everything and are excessive and think the simpler side of life isn't enough. And I'm sure you take the kids outside to parks and the yard and all that stuff. I don't know, parent's are funny creatures at times
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
That is the whole thing there is nothing wrong with the room. It stays that way all the time, clean, safe and fun. The problem is they do not even come in to see! That is the whole issue. They pull in my driveway and leave because I live in a modular instead of a big house. And that is only one room filled with toys, I have 2 more rooms that are filled with toys too, my kids rooms. The children have TONS of things to do and play with! But the parents just see my house and they think I am trashy I guess because it is a modular home. They do not even come inside to give me a chance to show them how nice my house really is!! It is SO annoying how people judge things without really knowing!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
2 Jul 12
I do think there are alot of people that do that. My house is old....but I have it fixed up cute. Yet some people do the same to me....and I think they are not worth the breath they take if they judge others based on something like that. Not everyone has all the same opportunities!
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
It is really unfair! I think it is so rude. And these people pull in my driveway, I see them because I am waiting for them so I keep checking and today they pulled in for a second and left. Then, she never called to say she was not going to have me babysit or anything! She just left me hanging... Exactly, they are not worth it. And your right not everyone is lucky like them!
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
2 Jul 12
It is sad that people are this way. I have been judged that way, but don't worry about it. They are the ones missing out.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
It is sad. I absolutely hate being judged this way, so unfair. But your right, they are missing out on great childcare!
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I have checked the photo and it looks nice. The room is tidy and safe for little kids. It's really sad when people prejudge us without even giving us the chance to prove who we are. Why would they expect a big house for someone who babysit. If you own a big house and you have money why would you prefer to work as babysitter then. So,I hope people will see the other side of you and not from what they saw outside your home.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
Thank you. I keep it safe and fun for the kids. That is why it upsets me so much that they just see it is a modular and leave! It is not a big house but it's not a trailer either. It is just annoying. They do not give me a chance at all some of the people. It is really disappointing. I am a good Childcare Provider and if they would come in, see my place and get to know me they would realize that! Well there are some people who have a big house and do childcare for extra money or they are an actual daycare center in their home. Even when I had extra money, I missed watching kids. I absolutely love it! I guess I would not want to watch their children anyway if they are so mean and judgemental. I am better than that...
• India
2 Jul 12
people should not judge that way. you don't worry you are doing a great job keep rocking god is with you
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Jul 12
No they should not be judging me without even finding out for themselves what I am really like or what inside of my house looks like... Thank you. =)
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
13 Aug 12
I guess we really can't avoid it. There are just a people out there that are quick to judge. People don't realize that for little kids, it doesn't matter if you have a big or a small house. As long as it's fun for them, it's all that matters. And I would think that for parents, the number one requirement is for safety, and not size. It is sad.