To the ladies, will you ask for help if....

@chiyosan (30205)
Philippines
July 3, 2012 7:53pm CST
If you are carrying a heavy object or set of objects that you have brought with you and there is someone to help you? For me, i would not be bringing anything with me that is more than i can handle. :D I would just go back to it if they are quite a lot... i hate to have to bug someone into helping me. =) to the men, would you initiate to help a woman who by the look of it naturally needs a help with the things they are carrying? so would you? or why not if you aren't going to help her?
4 people like this
10 responses
• United States
4 Jul 12
If I am getting something that I do not think that I can carry myself, then I try to have someone with me to help me. If I overestimate my abilities and am in a bind, then I would gladly take help that was offered, but I would not expect it unless it was an employee of the store and it was his or her job to help. However, I have had guys that I am sure thought that they were being nice try to help me with things that I was more than capable of carrying myself, and I actually thought that this was rather insulting, especially since I probably could have easily lifted more than they could as I worked out on a regular basis.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi guys, oh, just to add, our neighbor has offered to help us (me and my mom) as we have a lot of groceries too one time and we gladly accepted the help, though we did not expect him to help us but since we know him and knows he is offering a help, we took no offense. =) Sometimes it is all part of being able to interact. The thing is, if there is a stranger to offer us to carry the bags while it is being unloaded from the taxi and the man was from the street, well i would think twice and decline as i meant to disrespect to the person but you would - think what could this man's intentions be? Say i do not think i am the only one here, especially in public when one offers you help, most likely we would decline thinking they could be running away with the things they offered to carry for us! haha ;)
• United States
4 Jul 12
If it was something like groceries where I had a lot of them, then I definitely would not be insulted if someone offered help, especially if it was a hot day and I had perishable items. I think (as you stated above) that it depends upon the situation. I can also understand that it is difficult to know when to offer help and when not to, especially since you can be thought to be rude or insensitive in either instance. Personally, I try to treat people equally, so I do whatever I feel is appropriate in that particular instance regardless of gender, and I try to accept help in the same way. I also think that the way a person offers factors into it, though. If the person seems like they sincerely want to help, then I would not be offended and would actually appreciate the offer, even if it was not needed. When the offer is given in a manner where it is clear they think that as a woman I am incapable of doing it myself, then that is when I take offense, especially if they are clearly not any stronger (and perhaps not nearly as strong) as I am.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
hi purple, i understand your sentiment about when or when not to offer help. sometimes i am faced with this decision myself when in public especially at work. I know that i might offend someone if i offer help over something or they might actually not see my intentions as to why i am doing so. :D I guess it just depends on us as to estimate whether or not to offer our help. Cheers to you and bigfoot!
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
4 Jul 12
Hi chiyosan, I don't buy anything that is too heavy for me to carry. If the staff is having offer price for that day only. I would ask the shop keeper if he or she could keep it or them for me. I either drive my car to load it if vehicle can reach there. Or if I can carry the objects separately in a couple of times to my car. I hate to carry heavy things walking for some distance. I always like to go shopping together with my husband. it's so relaxing to have my loved one to carry purchasing items. I don't ask any one who is not familiar to me to carry heavy things in case there is someone around more than willing to help Happy posting
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Well, yes it is always really very convenient shopping with someone especially if you know you are to be with a lot of items. it is always great to have someone help you out. =)
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
4 Jul 12
So, only buy heavy items when there is someone with us Carrying half dozen of oranges and apples and pears respectively is a heavy burden to me as well. We usually would buy such fruits in the 1st and 15th of Chinese Lunar Calender for worshiping, therefore I don't purchase fruits if I'm alone
• United States
4 Jul 12
I don't carry more than I can handle at all. I don't like when strangers ask me if I need help. My nerves are bad and I think they are about to rob me.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
haha sounds really gamiliar to me. I think a lot of people would think of the same and would consciously try to think what the intentions of the one asking is... Afterall you are strangers to each other so it looks weird that way.
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
4 Jul 12
Most of the time I try to carry only what I can carry. But sometimes I do have a lot to carry and it seems that others are more than willing to help. One time I was at the library and I was carrying my daughter and checking out the books that I had ordered. And I was thinking to myself that I would have to make more than one trip. But an older gentleman behind me offered to carry my books.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi dominique, good day to you! :D thanks for your response to the discussion. I believe there are a lot of things we ought to be able to see when one offers help to us. Im glad the person was sincere in his offer of help to you. For me i would take a help when needed, but i would never demand it.
@dhysanne (451)
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
For me it's okay to accept help from someone who knew. But if he is a total stranger then I can manage it. It is not easy to trust strangers nowadays. Even if he is a good looking person. Sometimes those who look good are the bad ones.
• India
8 Jul 12
Usually i don't used to seek the help of the strangers or the others ones and along with it i don't love to disturb others. Sometimes some will be little happy to help of but some don't. I feel it is quite comfortable to help by some but i don't used to in behind anyone.
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
6 Jul 12
Good people are those who would like to help small children, old n helpless people and other needy people. Why should we feel ashamed in doing so? If a lady willing to help other lady then it does not look odd but if a gent would like to do the same then society as a whole or that lady may misunderstand. So if anyone or ladies especially asks for help then only i do help.
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
4 Jul 12
I would definitely not ask a stranger to carry my pack. I find that rude. I should be the one who should estimate before carrying that pack alone. But I find it nice if someone offers to help, and I (as a woman) usually give a helping hand to people in pack-carrying needs if they really seem struggling :).
@hagmic22 (49)
• Israel
4 Jul 12
I think that we can't generalize all this kind of situations into one answer. My reaction is depends on the situation. If I'll see a struggling when I am in a rush, I can't be sure that I would be patient enough to help her. If I see a struggling old lady (or old man), I guess that I will volunteer to help right a way. I remember that once, when I was a child, I saw a man on a wheelchair struggling to get into the hospital which had a sharp ascent at its enter. I couldn't stay apathetic and helped him (even though I was in hurry to school). I can't remember how this man thanked me, and it was worth it. I think this situation is similar to the one you had described. There are different type of helping struggling strangers in the streets.
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi Chiyosan, I have never asked for help for someone that I don't know or hardly recognize. I only asked for those people who I really know and are my friends... I am the shy type and I will just try my best to lift that heavy object...and hopefully someone would help me up for that...and if there's none, then I am just so unlucky. There are only few gents around so I won't be expecting that someone would really help me up with that. Have a nice day!