How long would you make up from a misunderstanding??

Philippines
July 4, 2012 4:43am CST
Hi there mylotters, I shared from a previous discussion that two colleagues of mine had a misunderstanding and it was indeed a not so good first day of the month for us in our workplace. But I am proud to say that they made up a day after that and talk things over. I guess they realized that things really need to just talk over. It was just a small argument that no longer needs to be taken that long. Would you wait for a long time to make up from a misunderstanding?? Or wouldn't mind it and just go on not talking with each other?? Happy Mylotting! _Joanna Lee_
1 person likes this
10 responses
• Malaysia
4 Jul 12
Hi, to you, too. Misunderstanding can happen anywhere and if one is too ego to accept the explanation, it won't be easy to make up. To me, if I have the chance to clear the air, I will do it immediately, but of course, sometimes, you can't do it right away when emotions take control. A few years back at my previous workplace, my best friend and I were accused of being the back stabbers of a colleague where in truth there was a misunderstanding between a few of us in the office. I could say we were close friends at that time, but after the incident we only talked about work. When most of us moved on to other working places, we hadn't get the chance to clear things out. After 5 years, we were working at the same place again. We were talking like old friends and we never discussed about the misunderstanding, but only the good memories we shared at the old workplace. We've been working for about 2 years before she got another offer and during that time there's not even once we have an arguement. I think as time goes by, both of us have learned to be more careful in our words and actions. I didn't hold back any hard feelings and I guess she has also accepted that what happened in the past was just a misunderstanding.
• Malaysia
5 Jul 12
Yes, it's true. Time really heals. It might be hard to forget, but once you have gone through the difficult part, it gets easier to forgive. Anyway, I really appreciate for the BR. Thank you, Smurfy. I hope you'll have a great day, too. Take care and enjoy life!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
I am currently enjoying my life...(even though with this big problem I have)...And I do wish luck will come along my way SOON...
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hello Corry, It's definitely a good feeling and I am happy that you really did realized about a lot of things..and it was just a total misunderstandings. But there are really people who really put those in their mind as if planting that hatred and misunderstandings in their brain...and by the time they met, it is still the same. Anyways, as what the old saying, TIME HEALS. Have a great day!
@meumeu25 (917)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jul 12
After a misunderstanding I usually give some time for me and the other person involve to calm down, but if I can I prefer to make up as soon as possible. Atleast before we go to bed in the same day.
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• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi there Meumeu, I hope I am like that...like have that initiation to have that face to face reconciliation to that person who had I misunderstand with....I said that because most of the time, I am the later who just go with the flow and if that person won't initiate, then I would really not talk. We are all very different but I don't think mine is a good action. Have a nice day!
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
I definitely agree. I do care a lot that's why I really told both parties to reconcile before things get worse. And I am happy that they did hear me out...
@meumeu25 (917)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jul 12
Hello smurfysmurf, It's not that I always initiate the reconciliation, I just start small talks or ask innocent questions, then it just happen. Maybe I'm just lucky that the people I get misunderstanding with are easier to please. You'll get by somehow. We only feel bad about it because we care. Have a nice day too.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
6 Jul 12
I don't like misunderstanding to go on, but when you try to clear up things some people just think you are arguing. It seems you can't please everyone.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
Hi Winterose, I definitely agree with you. We can't definitely please everyone. And I have this rant with my previous colleagues who always watch at my mistakes and never on my accomplishments or the things that I did good. Misunderstandings should never be taken that long. Happy Mylotting..
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
I think arguments are really common and it takes a lot of humility to accept ones fault and understand the other. There have been few occasions where colleagues fight or have arguments over something, usually it's a rarity since we're all 'busy', however, there really are times when superiority and seniority of age would be the reason why think he/she's better than the other - these types of fights or arguments I always steer clear of. But there was one situation where there were really bumping of heads and it was stressful that time when they were not yet at peace. All you could hear are gossip from the first person then another gossip from the second. I do admire though that nobody in the office was taking sides for we all knew both had mistakes of their own. Though it has been long now since that argument, they haven't been seeing eye-to-eye till now. But due to the fact that they need not meet up for the job gives them both an excuse not to be in the same place at the same time. Though it's better nowadays because they're just civil - but the bond of friendship was never restored. I guess there are times when our pride take the most of us and we end up burning bridges, is it something that we can do something about? Perhaps! But I always learned my lesson never to meddle with other people's business and as long as there's no cat fight happening in the office, their civility with each other is music to my ears. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi Laydee, If other colleagues would side up to someone...and then talk about each other behind their backs...then things would really get worse. Good thing we never do that in our department now unlike those old colleagues of mine who really do gossip and just keep on backstabbing and be friends while in front. And as what you've said,it's really common and I think we can never get away from it. But it least, we do try our best to get out from it fast and as best as we could. And a great lesson learned indeed! Happy Mylotting!
• India
4 Jul 12
Hi MyLotters. Like the same i too had a problem. Then the problem was solved with the help of one of my friend. In my opinion when a misunderstanding raises they should speak between each other and solve the problem. Or else the problem will be solved forever. Does anyone have different views apart from my comments???
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi Rakesh, If it will not be solve as soon as possible, things will just get worse...most especially with the people around who create gossips that would even make the misunderstanding even more bigger. So, as much as possible, we should definitely solve it as soon as possible. Happy Mylotting!
• Philippines
9 Jan 13
It depends on what conflict I am dealing with, and it depends if the conflict starts with my mistake or a misunderstanding with others. Usually, such misunderstanding takes time to compromise to a good resolution with other people, but as what they say, time heals.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 13
Yeah, time heals. Though if there is already a conflict, the bond between the two person will actually be different...there will surely be a gap since they have this issue already with trust. A misunderstanding is OK if both persons are open minded. Have a great day!
• Philippines
9 Jan 13
True if they are open minded and is oka'y for reconciliation then that would be a good step in building a new knot in their relationship however, like you said there will be a gap between them and you can't put cover such holes in a relationship.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
I have this rule that if I knew for myself that I did not do anything wrong and you hurt me, I would no longer associate to that person again. I have this experience where one of my colleagues questioned my beliefs. And actually, it is not only a mere questioning but a sarcasm. I got really offended and told him exactly how I feel about it. I was just sitting there and eating when all of a sudden he throw that question at me and I do not think that is fair because from what I understand, he is trying to tell everyone who are present in there that I am just after the money. In short, I got really mad and he stopped. But after a while, two of my colleagues wanted to take part in the scene and started putting more woods on the fire. I was too disappointed that time because one of them, I consider as my friend. It does not take me an hour before I asked for forgiveness to that guy because I really think that I have hurt him for answering back. But to my friend who took the other side instead of being just in the middle, I never talked to her again. I have no regrets because I really do not think I would need a friend like her. But after months of being like that, she started making moves to be closer to me again. We talk to each other now but I really do not involve myself that much. I know her already.
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
Hi there paper doll, Thanks for sharing. You indeed have this experience that it was a test of friendship and to that who isn't true or not. I don't have this kind of rule. But I have been betrayed by my close friends many times but still I ended up still close with them even though that incident happen. But I am traumatized now with that experience and would even hesitate to be close friends with people. That's why I really choose which one to be close with. Have a nice day!!!
4 Jul 12
if it's in my hands to make peace, I will do it without hesitation. Once misunderstandings get longer, the more repairs we need to do to bring back our relationship. What your colleagues did was right. Why wait if we can do it earlier? But of course it's a case to case basis and it depends on the problems. Personally, I don't want to prolong any misunderstandings.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi there. If it was clearly a pure misunderstanding, I don't think we should prolong the agony with both parties. But in my case, since I don't have that guts in having face to face issues, I might have a hard time. It was indeed both parties fault that's why they decided to talk it over and solve things really fast. They also don't want to have an unhealthy working environment though. Have a nice day!
@suni51 (3429)
• India
4 Jul 12
Hi Jonna- I don't mind clearing out disputes in a decent manner unless they have not gone beyond repairing. You see being a marketing professional I try my best to see to it that every problem has a fair solution. Smaller things may become worse if not sorted out at the beginning and that is possible if both persons at a loggerhead are reasonable and think about the organization, they work for. Cheers.-suny.
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• Philippines
4 Jul 12
Hi Suny, I can see that you are good in solving problems just by basing with your experience. I am not sure if I am good with that...but I try my best to fix the problem as best as I could...and in fact, even though it wasn't my fault, I just lower my pride just to fix things up. Because I think if I don't, then, it would certainly prolong the misunderstandings and make things worst. Happy Mylotting.
• United States
7 Jul 12
hi smurfysmurf! i hate being on the outs with my friends or family and especially mr. psychoartist and the princess...so i would try to make up as soon as possible and if i saw that the person needed time to cool down i would give them time, but i would try to apologize or make things up with people i care about...on the other hand, if it is a person i do not care about, like , consider evil, idiotic, or horrid, i would not care at all and would just move on...
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
There are really people who aren't worth our understanding and just remain things at it is. I also have this person back in college who I had a misunderstanding with and we ended up not talking to each. He doesn't want to speak to me and I don't want to be the first one to approach.....so up until now, we remain as if..we don't know each other. I saw him and was about to greet him but he ignored me...so I don't want to embarrassed myself again... Anyways, only that person. Other people, I tend to settle everything before things get worse or even worst! Happy mylotting!!!